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Henrg W. Sage 






Cornell University Library 
PR 2380.A2 1870 
Works of John Taylor the water poet not 

3 1924 013 126 267 

Cornell University 

The original of this book is in 
the Cornell University Library. 

There are no known copyright restrictions in 
the United States on the use of the text. 

publications of tfje Spenser ^octetp. 

Issue No. 14 




OF 1630 




The firft Iffue of the Spenser Society for the year 
1873-4 will be the very rare and interefting 

"FLOWERS OF EPIGRAMMES, ovt of fundrie the mofle Angu- 
lar authours felected, as well auncient as late writers. Pleafant 
and profitable to the expert readers of quicke capacitie : By 
Timothe Kendall, late of the Uniueriitie of Oxford : now ftudent 
of Staple Inne in London. 

Aut prodeffe volunt, aut delectare poetse 
Aut fimul & iucunda, aut idonea dicere vita?. 

Imprinted at London in Poules Churche-yarde, at the figne of the 
Brafen Serpent, by Ihon Shepperd. 1577." 





OF 1630 






The references are to HaslitCs Bibliographical Hand Book and Bohn's 
Lowndes's Bibliographical Manual. 

i. The Suddaine Turne of ffortunes wheele ; or A Conference holden in 
the Caftle of St Angello, betwixt the Pope, the Empero' and the 
King of Spaine. By Iohn Taylor, 1631. [From the original 
Manufcript in the poffeffion of the Rev. T. Corser.] (12 leaves.) 

[If. No. 123.] 

2. The Fearefull Summer : or, Londons Calamitie, The Countries Dif- 

courtefie, And both their Miferie. Printed by Authoritie in 
Oxford, in the laft great Infection of the Plague, 1625. And now 
reprinted with fome Editions, concerning this prefent yeere, 1636. 
With fome mention of the grievous and afflicled eflate of the famous 
Towne of New-CafUe upon Tine, with fome other vifited Townes 
of this Kingdome. By Iohn Taylor. (12 leaves!) \H. No. 41 A] 

3. The Carriers Cofmographie. or A Briefe Relation, of the Innes, 

Ordinaries, Hofteries, and other lodgings in, and neere London, 
where the Carriers, Waggons, Foote-pofts and Higglers, doe ufually 
come, from any parts, townes, mires and countries of the King- 
domes of England, Principality of Wales, as alfo from the King- 
domes of Scotland and Ireland. By Iohn Taylor. London Printed 
by A. G. 1637. (12 leaves.) \H. No. 58.] 

iv Contents of the Second Collection. 

4. Drinke and welcome : or the Famovs Hiftorie of the moft part of 

Drinks, in ufe now in the Kingdomes of Great Brittame and Ire- 
land; with an efpeciall declaration of the potency, vertue, and 
operation of our Englijh Ale. With a defcription of all forts of 
Waters, from the Ocean fea, to the teares of a Woman. As alfo, 
the caufes of all forts of weather, faire or foule, Sleet, Raine, 
Haile, Froft, Snow, Fogges, Mifts, Vapours, Clouds, Stormes, 
Windes, Thunder and Lightning. By Iohn Taylor. London, 
Printed by Anne Griffin. 1637. (13 leaves.') [H. No. 59.] 

5. Iohn Taylors laft Voyage, and Adventvre, performed from the twen- 

tieth of luly lafl 1641. to the tenth of September following. The 
manner of his Paffages and Entertainement to and fro, truly 
defcribed, With a fhort touch of fome wandring and fome fixed 
Scifmatiques, fuch as are Brownifts, Anabaptifts, Famalies, Hu- 
morifts and fooliils, which the Authour found in many places of 
his Voyage and Iourney. By Iohn Taylor. Printed at London 
by F. L. for Iohn Taylor, and may be had at the fhoppe of Thomas 
Bates in the Old Baily. 1641. (16 leaves.) [II. No. 65.] 

6. The Irifli Footman's Poetry. Or George the Rvnner, againit Henry 

the Walker, In defence of Iohn the Swimmer. The Author 
George Richardfon, an Hibernian Pedejirian. Printed in the 
yeare 1641. (6 leaves^ [B. Z., p. 2593.] 

7. The Devil turn'd Round-Head : or, Plvto become a Brownift. 

Being a juft comparifon, how the Devil is become a Round-Head '? 
In what manner, and how zealoufly (like them) he is affected 
with the moving of the Spirit. [1642.] (4 leaves.) [H. No. 80.J 

8. Heads of all Fashions. Being, A Plaine Defection or Definition of 

diverfe, and fundry forts of heads, Butting, Jetting, or pointing at 
vulgar opinion. And Allegorically fhewing the Diverfities of Re- 
ligion in thefe diftempered times. London Printed for Iohn 
Morgan, to be fold in the Old-baily. 1642. (4 leaves.) 

[H. No. 8 S .] 

Contents of the Second Collection. v 

9. Crop-Eare Curried, or, Tom Najh His Ghoft, Declaring the pruining 

of Prinnes two laft Parricidicall Pamphlets, being 92 Sheets in 
Quarto, wherein the one of them he ftretch'd the Soveraigne 
Power of Parliaments ; in the other, his new-found way of opening 
the counterfeit Great Seale. With a ftrange Prophecy, reported 
to be Merlins, or NimJJiags the Gymnofophijl, and (by fome Au- 
thours) it is faid to be the famous Witch of Endows. By John 
Taylor. Printed in the year, 1644. (21 haves.) [H. No. 91.] 

10. Mad Verfe, Sad Verfe, Glad Verfe and Bad Verfe. Cut out, and 

flenderly fticht together. By John Taylor. [Oxford, May 10, 
1644.] (4 leaves.) [H. No. 93.] 

1 1. No Mercurius Aulicus ; But fome merry flames of Intelligence, with 

the Pretended Parliaments Forces befiedging of Oxford fame miles 
off, and the terrible taking in of a Mill, inftead of the King and 
Citie. By John Taylor. Printed in the Yeare. 1644. (4 leaves.) 

[H. No. 94.] 

12. Iohn Taylor being yet unhanged, fends greeting, to Iohn Booker 

that hanged him lately in a Picture, in a traiterous, flanderous, and 
foolifh London Pamphlet, called A Cable -Rope double-twifted. 
Printed in the Yeare, 1644. (4 leaves,) [H. No. 95.] 

13. Rebells Anathematized, and Anatomized : or, A Satyricall Salutation 

to the Rabble of feditious, peftiferous Pulpit-praters, with their 
Brethren the Weekly Libellers, Railers, and Revilers, Mercurius 
Britannicus, with the reft of that Sathanicall Fraternity. By John 
Taylor. Oxford, Anno Domini, 1645. (4 leaves.) [H. No. 97.] 

14. The Cavfes of the Difeafes and Diflempers of this Kingdom; found 

by Feeling of her Pulfe, Viewing her Urine, and Cafting her 
Water. Written by John Taylor. Printed, 1645. (6 leaves.) 

[II. No. 98.] 

vi Contents of the Second Collection. 

15. Ale Ale-vated into the Ale-titude : or, A Learned Oration before a 

Civill Affembly of Ale-Drinkers, between Paddington and Hogfdon, 
the 3-0. of February laft, Anno Millimo Quillimo Trillimo. By 
John Taylor. London, Printed in the yeare, 1651. (15 leaves.) 

\H. No. 1 10 a.] 

16. Epigrammes, written on purpofe to be read: With a Provifo, that 

they may be underftood by the Reader ; being Ninety in Number : 
Befides, two new made Satyres that attend them. By John Taylor, 
at the Signe of the Poets Head, in Phoenix Alley, neare the middle 
of Long Aker, or Covent Garden. London, Printed in the Yeare, 
1651. (14 leaves.) \H. No. 112.] 

17. The certain Travailes of an uncertain Journey, begun on Tuefday 

the 9. of Augujl, and ended on Saturday the 3. of September fol- 
lowing, 1653. By John Taylor, at the Signe of the Poets-Head, 
in Phoeniz Alley, near the Globe Tavern, in the middle of Long- 
Acre, nigh the Co vent-Garden. (14 leaves) \H. No. 121.] 


The Suddaine Turne of 

{Fortunes wheele. 

[Hazlitt, No. 123.] 








Suddaine Turne 


fFortunes wheele ; 



Conference holden in 

the Caftle of St. An- 
gelic, betwixt the 

Pope, the Empero r 

and the King 

of Spaine. 

By Iohn Taylor, 1631. 



fface or Preface of 

the Booke. 

DOth time retort, or Fortune play the lade, 
Or doth the courfe of fate run retrograde ? 
Is hap turn'd haples, or is chance chance Medly, 
Orwhatftrainge wonders ftrickes our foes fo deadly? 
Hath Rome with Ceafar and moft mightie Sftaine 
Soe long held Fortune prif'ner in a chaine, 
Whereby warr with a bloody invndation 
O'rewhelm'd and halfe extirp'd the German nation ; 
And is fhe now broake loofe and chaung'd hir grownd, 
With fauour fmileing where fhe long hath frown'd ? 
Thefe fhifteing trickes doth to the world prefent 
That fortunes fauoures are not permanent : 



Then fortune, fate and chance and lucke are fictions, 

Dreames and Phantafmaes full of contradictions, 

And nothing conftant in the world wee fee 

But HE that Was, and IS, and ftill fhalbe. 

HE made all thinges, and all thinges that are made 

Are mutable, and doe increafe or fade ; 

HE calls himfelfe I AM, the prefent tenfe, 

Who's euer prefent in omnipotence ; 

He's ftill the fame almightie, iuft and pure, 

And no iniquitie he cann indure ; 

HE fees our finnes with his all feeing Eye ; 

Which doe for vengeance to his iuftice crye, 

For which he long hath fuff 'red his deere vine ? 

To be oppreft, and rooted vp by fwine, 

For 'tis a Maxim that hath alwaies bin, 

That punifhment doth euer follow finn. 

Now, in his owne good time, he heares the cryes 

Of his afiidted churches Miferies, 

He's gracioufiy pleaf'd his hands to ftaye 

And turne his furious wrath another way, 

Seeinge his people hath fo long bene try'de 

And with aflictions purg'd and purifi'd, 

Their patience and their fufferings being foe 

Which made fome feare a finall ouerthrowe. 



But he that doth his chofen Ifraell keepe, 
Who neither (lumbers nor did euer (leepe, 
Himfelfe now takes his owne great caufe in hand, 
And doth his vauntinge Enemies with (land ; 
Which makes our foes complot, confult, and plod 
How and by what meanes they may warr with God ; 
As in thefe followinge lines I doe explaine, 
Twixt Rome, the Empire, and moft mightie Spaine. 
Tis plainely writt, and harfh and rudely pen'd, 
And hopes it (hall noe honeft man offend. 

! (9) 


to the Reader. 

SOme of thefe followeinge Verfes (by chaunce) came 
to my handes to the number of 186, / neither 
knoweinge the Author, Time, or Place where 
or when they were written : when I fawe them I was 
both glad and fad ; glad they were foe good, and fad 
they were foe fewe, but fadefi for mine infufficientcy 
to add more vnto them : at lafl, knowinge the caufe to 
be good, I aduentured to fieice a Scarlet Roabe with my 
courfe fiammell. And though my lines are farr fhort 
of the other in elocution and ornated flile, yet mine are 
more in number though leffe in weight ; and as I haue 
patched them togeather, foe let the reader find which 
is which if he cann. Furthermore, it is remarkeable 
that the glorious and magnificent King of Sueden was 
borne in Stockholme, in the Kingdome of Sueuia, Sue- 
den, Sweathland, or Sued (for it hath all thefe names) 

B in 

An Aduertifement to the Reader. 

in the yeare of our Sauiour 1594, being 37 yeares agoe 
in this yeare 1631; his birth was alfoe in the moneth 
of Nouember, as was the natiuitie of our gracious fouer- 
aigne King Charles. The interpretation of Stockholme 
is Woodfland, and the Lion is the armes or Crejl of 
Sued. And it is written in the 1 i th and 1 2 th of Efdras, 
that the Lion fhould come out of the woods and reprooue 
the Eagle ; and all men knowe that the Eagle is the 
armes of the Empire : alfo the Kinge of Sueds name is 
Guflauus, which in an Annagram is Auguflus, and 
Auguftus is an Epithete or Appellation which euerie 
Emperour is inftiled with, in a memorable honour of 
Auguftus Ceafar, in whofe raigne our bleffed Sauiour 
was borne. And it is faied formerly in the prophefie 
that the Lion fliould reprooue the Eagle. // is mani- 
fefi (by Gods aj/iflance) that the King of Sued hath 
fmce the lafi yeare 1630 Conquered all the Dukedomes 
of Pomerland, Mecklenberge, part of Pruyffia, with 
the Kingdome of Bohemia, the Dukedomes and Princi- 
pallities of Morauia, Silefia, and the vpper and lower 
Lufatia, with many other Lordfhipps and Citties in 
diners partes ^/"Germany. So that if he goe as viclo- 
riotifly forward as he hath brauely begunn the Eagle 
wilbe fharply reprooued with a wittnes. 



An Aduertifement to the Reader. 

The place where lately the King of Sueden encoun- 
tered with Counte Tilley is neere the Cittie and vniuer- 
Jitie of Leipzig, in Mifnia or Meifen ; and the feild 
where the battle was fought is called Godtfaker (or 
Gods feild). Now the word Sued annagramatized or 
turned backwards, is Deus : and who can doubt but 
God was there, and with his mightie and outftreched 
armegatt himfelfe the viclorie ; and in that feild which 
is called Godtfaker (or Godes feild) there, there did 
Deus fight his owne battle againfl the Enemies of his 
truth : his was the feild, he fought the fight, he feat- 
tered his and our Enemies, and to him be the honour 
and Glorie afcribedfor euer. 

And thus much I thought fitt to infert by way of 
explanation offome lines that follow, which other waies 
might haue bene darke and obfeure to the reader. It 
is mofl certaine that Count Tilley was an experienced 
good fouldier, a man of warr euer from his youth, and 
a noble and generous Enemie ; a man that to his high 
renowne approoued himfelfe worthily famous for many 
great feruices by him atcheiued and accomplifhed : but 
affoone as cruelty e pojjfefl him, viclorie forfooke him ; 
for euerfince he ranfacked the Maiden towne of Mag- 
denburgh (and put all the people, young and ould, to 



An Aduertifement to the Reader. 

the /word) he hath bine vnfortunate, and not anie 
thinge hath profpered that he hath attempted ; foe 
much doth the god of mercie abhorr mer cites Aclions, 
that he will take the caufe of the Innocent into his 
owne hands, and reuenge their iniuries. 

Howfoeuer Counte Tilley lined more then threefcore 
and ten yeares, euer being a true feruant to his Maifter; 
and finaly, for his Conclufion, he was nobly wounded, 
and died in the bed of honour. And it is to be worthily 
noted, that not anie of the Imperialifts Generalls that 
are dead, but that they died mortally wounded ; and 
not anie of the contrarie fide but they haue all departed 
peaceably in their beds (by Gods vifitations.) 

Thefefewe obfervations I leaue to the cenfure and 

Conjideration of all that cann reade and 

iudge. Remaineing as I haue 

bene theirs, as far 

as they are 


John Taylor. 









WElcome deere Sonnes vnto our court oiRome ; 
Bleflinges Apoftolique and holie doome 
Sheild all the houfe of Aujlria from mifchance, 
And both their fortunes and their crownes advance. 

Thy feete moft holy ffather doe I kiffe ; 
Of churches benediction if I mifs, 
Th' Imperiall crowne from Aujlria wilbe gone, 
Which heauens forbid, for then w' are all vndone. 



Bohemias rebells doth with Sueden ioyne 

The heretiques from Donan to the Rhyne; 

Their heades, their armes, their forces they combine 

'Gainft Rome and Aujlria and the Palatine 

That curfed Caluiniji, with his partakers, 

Thofe damned Schifmatickes the church forfakers, 

Vpon our ruine feeke to build their fortune, 

Which makes me thus thy Holines importune. 

The keys of Peeter and the fword of Paule 
Shall fhutt and open, cutt in peices all, 
The gates of Heauen, Nations lawes and rights, 
And turne cleare daies into the darkefl nightes. 
Their land, that haue our dignitie withftood, 
I'le make Aceldema a feild of blood ; 
'Gainft heretiques I'le thunder out my bulls, 
And make their land a place of dead mens fkulls. 
Some faintes I will enforce and fome implore, 
And hell and purgatory both fhall rore, 
E're one of Caluins or of Luthers fe6t 
With Roman Bayes or Eagles fhalbe deckt. 

The threats and Curfes of the Catholickes 
Are now defpis'd by thofe vile heretickes ; 
They hold your bleffinge in no more avayle 
Then is the flapping of a fox his taile. 
In breife they all foe defobedient are, 
That for your Blifs or Ban they feare nor care ; 



Helpe by your Counfell therefore (Holie Sir) 
And fhew vs meanes to quiet all this ftir. 

Thou maieft by reafons and Embaffages, 
By queftions, anfwers, and like paffadges, 
Win time a while ; but thefe are out of date, 
Now fwordes, not wordes, doe kingdomes arbitrate ; 
And wee haue vf'd delaies and Heights fo oft, 
That all our Enemies perceiue our Croft. 
Vnto thy neighbour freinds and fubiecls fend, 
That from furprife thou maieft thy felfe defend ; 
My Legates and my Nuncies I'le difpatch 
More forces 'mongft the Catholickes to hatch ; 
Mentz, Cullein, Triers, Catholike Bauare, 
Thou haft in Germany, with others there, 
From Flaunders, Brabant, and the Poleijh King, 
Thy true freindes, quickly will their fuccoures bring ; 
And though my felfe with Florence may not fend 
Our armes foe foone, our mony wee will lend : 
The Cantons of the Swittzers fhalbe wadg'd, 
Who to our fea do hold themfelues ingag'd : 
I'le fend to Vrbin and to Mantua, 
Vnto Ferara and to Genoa, 
To Sauoy, to Pimont, and to Venice, 
To ffraunce (our eldeft fonn) and to St. Denis : 
I'le fetch the faintes from heauen, the feinds from hell, 
But I'le thofe druncken German traytors quell : 
Befides thy fpaniffie Coufin prefent here, 
Whom Europe and the new fownd world doth feare, 


(16) . 

The Churches Atlas and the Empires propp : 
By ftreinth, by witt, or gold we meane to ftopp 
Thefe proud attempts and darings of the dutch, 
And breake their forces coft it nere fo much. 

If Ceafar and your Holines haue done, 
Obferue the anfwere of your Spani/h fonne : 
Nor German Prelates or Bauaria can, 
Nor King of Pole, your felfe, nor anie man, 
Nor Florence duke, nor Brabant ioynd with Flaunders, 
Nor Cantons Catholicke with their Commaunders ; 
If thefe were ioyn'd in one yet could they not, 
With all the force that can by them be gott, 
Bring timely fuccores 'gainft this coniuration 
Thefe Almaine Graues haue made in euery nation. 
Expect not helpe from Sauoye or Venetia, 
Who feare and deadly hate the houfe of Auflria: 
I looke for nothing from my brother ffraunce, 
For if he faw vs downe he'll fing and daunce : 
And Ceafar, if at home thou lookft for ayde, 
Thy ftate is tottering and thy ftreinth decay'd ; 
Thine Aujlrian fubiefls likewife are infected 
With Luthers herefie, and haue reiected 
The Papall dignitie, and may doe thine, 
And with their fellowe Lutherans combine ; 
And if for fuccoures thou doe fend to Thracia, 
The faithles Turkes thou know'ft will not from Ajia. 
Spaine then muft helpe, or what fhall Ceafar doe, 
And how can Spaine helpe Rome and Ceafar to ? 



Shall Indian armies be recal'd from thence ? 

Italian forces martch away from hence ; 

Leaue Millaine, Naples, and our filuer fountaines 

Vnguarded, naked, and martch o're the mountaines ? 

Through Griffons country lead the ftreinth of Spaine ; 

Or venter our Armadoe once againe 

To narrowe feas, and foe at once loofe more 

Then wee haue gott in fix fcore yeares before ? 

Soe thou at Vien, I at Arragon, 

May fhaue our heades, turne Monkes, and Hue alone. 

You count your freindes, but count not all your foes, 

Whofe ftreinths, whofe numbers you cannot opofe ; 

The Northerne trackt of Europe from Brittania, 

Tending to Eaft as farr as Tranjiluania, 

Saue Holland, and fome trifles, are their owne. 

Aye me ! fowerfcore yeares how are they growne. 

Three Kingdomes England, Scotland, Ireland be, 

With Denmarke, Norway, Sueden, fix you fee , 

Befides thofe two which they haue won from thee, 

Being eight in all ; and our Kings are but three. 

The numbers of their Princes, Dukes and Countes, 

With their free Lords and flats, oures farr furmountes : 

Befides their many Palfgraues and their Mortgraues, 

With all their Lantgraues, Rhinegraues, and their Burgraues. 

And as their numbers foe their fpirrits are, 

Made great with hopes by their prodidgious flarr, 

Which blaz'd o're Germany the laft December, 

Portending chaunge of flats ; and I remember 

Their oppofitions and their calculations 

Of times, of scepters, and of scituations ; 

C Of 


Of Rome, of Babell, and of hills and dales, 

Of beaftes and draggons, and fuch fearefull tales, 

Wherewith they cheare themfelues and triumph foe, 

As if th' had giuen vs all the ouerthrowe. 

The eleuenth and twelfe of Efdras they applye 

Againft th' Imperiall Eagles monarchic ; 

And that the Lion comeing from the wood 

Is of the King of Sueden vnderftood ; 

And that the Lion fhall the Eagle foile, 

And in triumphant fort deuide the fpoyle. 

The rebells make conftrudlions on this text, 

Whereby the Catholickes are sorely vext ; 

As th' Eagles wings doth o're th' Empire fpread, 

Euen fo the Lion is the armes of Sued, 

And Sued (they fay) true annagram'd is Deus, 

Whom they doe hold the Chriftian Macchabeus ; 

They further faye Gujlauus is his name, 

Which is Augujlus in his Annagram. 

An vncouth fhiuering makes my blood to thrill 
And ftrainge amazement doth my fences fill. 
I wonder much that they foe fkillfull be, 
Againft vs to applye the Prophefie : 
I alfo doe admier how they could frame 
Such annagrams on Sued and Suedens name. 
But though thofe hopes their forward minds may cheare, 
Let our imperious thoughts contemne all feare ; 
For 'tis not ffortunes turning of hir wheele 
Can make our noble refolutions reele ; 



Doubt not but I will find a ftratagem 

T' vphold Rome, Ceafars, and Spaines diadem. 


But, holie ffather, I am certifi'd 

That they your power and pollicy deride, 

And how of you they made an Annagrame, 

The beft and bittreft that their witts could frame, 

As thus : 

Supremus Pontifex Romanns. 

O non fum fuper petram fixus. 

Molt facred Paftor of the Chriftian flocke, 
They fay thou art not fixed on the rocke ; 
And I fufpect that they are all inclin'd 
That what they fay they doe beleiue in mind. 
Alas for Rome ! alas for fferdinand ! 
Alas for Phillip, muft he needs with ftand 
His owne, the empire and the churches foes, 
And fo himfelfe, the Church and Empire lofe ! 

And doe they find fuch ftrainge predictions out 
To fill the Catholikes with feare and doubt ? 
I'le make them knowe that I am fixed faft 
On Peeler, and fhall neuer downe be call : 
My benediction or my malediction 
Can raife in ftate, and ruine with afliclion. 
The heretiques on Peelers faith doe build ; 
But I vpon his perfon am vpheld, 


And from him vnto me all power is giuen 
To bind and loofe, to mutt and open heauen, 
And whilft I keepe the keyes none fhall come in 
That in thefe madd rebellious warrs haue binn. 

All you can fay, and all you can deuife, 
They vallue not, but vtterly defpife. 
The Duke of Saxon from our fide is gone, 
And with the King of Sued conioyn'd as one : 
And why fhould I from him expect for more, 
Then Charles my predeceffor did before, 
Who gaue him all and more then I can mention ? 
Yet fhortly after, in that great contention 
Twixt him and Luthers rebells, he forfooke 
His benefactor, and againft him tooke. 
And by thefe Ciuill warrs what is our gaine ? 
Our people more then millions haue bene flaine ; 
Dampeire, Buequoy, and many valient men, 
Whofe like wee haue no hope to haue agen : 
Our fubiedls with great taxes rent and rack'd, 
Our Prouince laied waft, our citties fack'd, 
Our fruitfull feildes vntil'd and vnmanur'd, 
Lofs vpon lofs, paft hope to be recur'd : 
Maides, wiues and widdowes rauifh'd and deflowr'd ; 
Our land with fpoile and rapine all devour'd ; 
Fire, fword and famine hath thefe twelve yeares fpace 
Rag'd all mine Empire ore in euery place : 
Our freindes fall off, our treafury exhaufted, 
Our felfe with greife and age decay'd and wafted ; 



And all the mifcheifes that by warr can fall, 
Wee and our people haue endur'd them all ; 
Whilft many thoufands that were wont to giue, 
Now begg or ftarue, or miferably Hue ; 
And laft, that mofl vnlucky ouerthrowe, 
My trufty Tillies lofs, a deadly blowe. 
Prague and Bohemias kingdom, all is gone ; 
Our townes oiffranckfurt and of Hanow wone, 
Hall, Haluerjladt and Heinjl, with mightie Ments ; 
Our cheife Elector bifhopp fled from thence : 
My generalls Waljleine and don Baltazarr 
Fled to Polonia from the rage of warr. 
This makes our foes with viftorie to fwell, 
And all is worfe then tounge or pen can tell. 

Noe Prince with me in loffes may compare, 
For I haue had more then a double fhare. 
Great damage I haue had in AJia ; 
And Pernambucco in America, 
With places of importance in Brafeele, 
The furious force of chance and chaunge doth feele : 
Mine India fhipps furprif d, my fubiecls flaine, 
Wherein confifted halfe the- hope of Spaine : 
Befides in Belgia I haue had mifhapp ; 
My towne of Weasle taken in a trapp ; 
The Bufs a place of great importance loft, 
Long time defended with exceeding coft ; 
And late that vnrecouerable ftroake 
In Zealand, where our forces all were broake ; 



Sloopes, punts and lighters, feauenty eight confounded, 

Six thoufand men tane prif'ners, many wounded ; 

Fower thoufand hand granadoes and of brafs 

Fower hundred thirty peices taken was ; 

Eleuen barrells of good mony tane, 

And many hundredes of my fouldiers flaine ; 

With fhore of powder, fhott and ammunition, 

All loft in that vnlucky expedition. 

All this the laft September was atcheiued, 

For which our foes reioyce, our freindes are greiued ; 

Whilft onely Dunkirke, man'd with runagadoes, 

Againft mine enemies haue made brauadoes. 

They onely haue done thinges of fpeciall notes, 

Taken fome merchants and fmall fifher boats, 

And now and then a collier, or a katch 

With oyfters, feldome meeteing with their match ; 

For with braue acls their fame abroad is hurl'd, 

As if they had fubdu'd and wone the world, 

When euery wifeman knowes well and beleiues 

Their towne and fhipps to be but dens for theiues. 

Haue all my aunceftors to fix defcents, 

By conquefts, wedlocke, and like liggaments, 

Ty'd earledomes, dukedomes, Crowne and Empire faft, 

And is the period of our greatnes paft, 

And our declineing now begin to haft, 

Hopeing for wefterne monarchic at laft ? 

Najfaw, Naffaw, you hatefull fonnes and father, 

Curft be your name and houfe : you, you did gather 

The fearefull rebells into warlike bands, 

Who now doe ftate it in the Netherlands ; 


There, there you writt Nill vltra once againe, 
And fet vp Eafterne pillars barrs to Spaine. 

Thus are our danegers, thefe our greifes related ; 
Thus are our minds perplex'd, our harts amated. 
If Rome have any fecret wifedome hid 
Laied vp for euill times, or euer did 
Make wicked heretiques feele churches power, 
Then, father, now's the time and this the hower. 
Remember how two Frederickes heretofore 
Frighted thy predeceffors ; this may more 
Hazzard thy fortunes, vtterly fupprefs 
Thy felfe, the Roman church and vs, vnlefs 
By fome prime ftratagem fetch'd from the deepe 
Thou doft thy felfe and freinds from damage keepe. 

And are our freindes foe fewe and fo vntruftie, 
And be our foes fo many and fo luftie ? 
One Innocent in Rome, in former ages, 
Hath vf'd three Kings for lacques and for pages ; 
And dare they nowe againft our likeing make 
Both Kings and Ceafars ? then, you furies, wake ! 
Helpe me to ftore of piftolls, poyfons, kniues, 
To fire and powder, manacles and giues. 
Bid Rauillack and Clement hye them hither ; 
Let Guido Faux and Garnett come togeather ; 
All thofe that doe in Pollicy excell, 
Sonnes of I/cariott and Achittophell. 


(2 4 ) 

Come, ye Ignatians, bring ye affaffinates, 
Left handed Ehuds that doe rule the fates 
And cutt the threades of Princes Hues affunder ; 
Thefe Roman Sceueloes fhall make men wonder, 
To fee thefe vpftarts all with their partakers, 
In euerie nation flaughtred by maffacres. 
I'le raife vp Suares, Parfons, Bellarmine, 
And Loyalla their father, and refine 
All humane witt to one pure quinteffence, 
Againft whofe vertue fhal be no defence. 
My fonnes therefore at nothinge be difmaied, 
Remember what your father now hath faied ; 
You to Viena, you to Siuill goe, 
Helpe as you maye to giue the fatall bio we. 



The Fearefull Summer. 

[Hazlitt, No. 4i£] 

The Fearefull Summer: 


Londons Calamitie, The Countries Difcour- 
tefie, And both their Miferie. 

Printed by Authoritie in Oxford, in the laft great Infeftion of the 

Plague, 1625. And now reprinted with fome Editions, 

concerning this prefent yeere, 1636. 

With fomementionof thegrievousand affli£ledeftateof the famousTowne 

of New-Caftle upon Tine, with fome other vifited Townes 

of this Kingdome. 

By Iohn Taylor. 

To the truely Generous and Noble 

Knight, Sir John Millijfent, Serjeant-Porter 

to the Kings moft Excellent 


Right worthy Knight, when firft this Book I writ 
To You, I boldly Dedicated it : 
And having now enlarg'd both Profe and Rime, 
To you I offer it the fecond time. 
To whom mould I thefe forrowes recommend, 
But unto You, the Cities Noble Friend ? 
I know you are much grieved with their griefe, 
And would adventure Life for their reliefe : 
To you therefore thefe Lines I Dedicate, 
Wherein, their Sorrowes partly I relate, 
I humbly crave acceptance at your hand : 
And reft 

Your Servant ever at command, 

John Taylor. 

The Preface. 

IN this lamentable time ofgenerall calamitie, our hain- 
ous Jinnes provoking Godsjufi indignation, this heavie 
Vijitation and mortalities I being attendant upon the 
Queenes Majejlie at Hampton-Court, and from thence 
within two miles of 'Oxford with her Barge (withmuchgriefe 
and remorfe) did fee and heare miferable and cold enter- 
tainment of many Londoners ; which, for their prefervation 
fled and 'retired ' themf elves from tlie Citie into the Country. 
Whence I noted the peoples Charitie, and great amendment, 
for they had given over one ofthefeven deadly finnes, which 
was Covetoufneffe, and in many places were fo farre out 
of love of a Citizens money, that they abhor d and hated ei- 
ther to touch or receive it ; entertaining them with bitter 
Worme-wood welcome, (which hear be was in more requefl a- 
mong/l many of them, than any of the heavenly Graces or 
Cardinall Vertues) yet the hearbe of Grace was in much 
e/limation, although the name of it was a document that they 
had occafion to Rue the Time; I further perceived that 
they were fo farre from beleeving or crediting any man, that 
they would or durfl not trufl their owne nofes, but were doubt- 
full, that that fence would confpire with the Plague to mur- 
ther them, wherefore {like cunning Mariners, or Mole-cat- 
chers) they would craftily in their flreets and high-way es 
fetch the wind of any man, although they were overfhooes 
and boots, andfometimes tumbled into a Ditch for their 
labours. This was the time when a man with a night-Cap at 
noone, would have frighted aw hole Parifh out of their wits, 
when to call for Aqua vitae {though it had bin but to make a 

A 2 drench 

The Preface. 

drench for afickehorfe)was enough to have his houfefhutup. 
When Lord have mercy upon us, made many of them 
tremble more than God Refufe, Renounce, Confound, 
or Damne. When a man travelling in the habit of a Citi- 
zen, was a meere Bulbegger ; when for a man to fay that he 
came from hell, would yeeld him better welcome without mo- 
ney, than one would give to his owne Father and Mother that 
came from London. In this time of mans great mifery and 

fmallmercie, Itooke my Pen in hand, and wrote this enfuing 
Difcourfe : T have {as neere as I could) fuited it fad ly, ac- 
cording to the nature ofthefubject. And truly, becaufe that 
the bare and 'naked truth wasfo clear e and ample, that I need 
nottofluffe it outwithfrivolous fables orfanta/licallfclions, 
with myfoule, I thankfully acknowledge Gods great mercy 
extended towards me (one of the mofl wretched and zvicked) 
in thatfo many thoufands of better life and converfation, 
have fallen on my right hand and on my left, and rozmd about 
me; yet hath his gracious protection been my guard, for the 
which in my gratitude to my God, and to avoyd thefinne of 
idleneffe, I have written, what thofe that can, may reade. 

This Book was written bymein Oxford, 1625. andprin- 
ted there by the Approbation of the Right Worfhipfull Ma- 

fter Vice-Chancellor ; and now being it was to be reprinted 
againe, 1 haue annexed unto it (at the latter end)fome Ad- 
ditions, and Obfervations as are correfpondent and perti- 
nent to this time of Vifitation. 



Fearefull Summer: 

O R, 
Londons Calamitie. 

He Patience and long-fuffering of our God, 
Keeps clofe his Quiver, and reftraines his Rod, 
And though our crying Crimes to Heav'n doe cry 
For vengeance, on accurft Mortality ; 

Yea though wee merit mifchiefes manifold, 

Bleft Mercie doth the hand of Iujlice hold. 

But when that Eye that fees all things moft cleare, 

Expects our fruits of Faith, from yeere, to yeere, 

Allowes us painefull Pajtors, who beftow 

Great care and toyle, to make us fruitfull grow, 

And daily doth in thofe weake Veffels fend 

The dew of Heaven, in hope we will amend ; 

Yet (at the laft) he doth perceive and fee 

That we unfruitfull and moft barren be, 

Which makes on us his indignation frowne, 

And (as accurfed Fig-trees) cut us downe. 

Thus mercy (mock'd) plucks juftice on our heads, 

And grievous Plagues our Kingdome over-fpreads : 

Then let us to our God make quicke returning, 

With true contrition, fafting and with mourning : 

The Word is God, and God hath fpoke the Word, 

If wee repent hee will put up his Sword. 

Hee's griev'd in punifhing, Hee's flow to Ire, 

And Hee a finners death doth not defire. 

If our Compunction our Amendment fhow, 

Our purple finnes Hee' 11 make as white as fnow. 

A3 If 

The Fearefull Summer, 

If wee lament, our G D is mercifull, 

Our fcarlet crimes hedl make as white as Wooll. 

Faire London that did late abound in bliffe, 

And waft our Kingdomes great Metropolis, 

Tis thou that art dejefled, low in ftate, 

Difconfolate, and almoft defolate, 

The hand of Heav'n (that onely did protect thee) 

Thou haft provok'd mod juftly to correci thee, 

And for thy pride of heart and deeds unjuft, 

Hee layes thy pompe and glory in the duft. 

Thou that waft late the" Queene of Cities nam'd, 

Throughout the world admir'd, renown'd, and fam'd : 

Thou that hadft all things at command and will, 

To whom all England was a hand-maid ftill ; 

For Rayment, Fewell, Fifh, Fowle, Beafts, for Food, 

For Fruits, for all our Kingdome counted good, 

Both neere and farre remote, all did agree 

To bring their beft of bleffings unto thee. 

Thus in conceit thou feem'dft to rule the Fates, 

Whilft peace and plenty flourifh'd in thy Gates, 

Could I relieve thy miferies as well, 

As part I can thy woes and forrowes tell, 

Then fhould my Cares be eas'd with thy Reliefe, 

And all my ftudy how to end thy griefe. 

Thou that wer't late rich, both in friends and wealth, 

Magnificent in ftate, and ftrong in health, 

As chiefeft Miftris of our Countrie priz'd, 

Now chiefly in the Country art defpis'd. 

The name of London now both farre and neere, 

Strikes all the Townes and Villages with feare ; 

And to be thought a Londoner is worfe, 

Than one that breakes a houfe, or takes a purfe. 

Hee that will flitch or fteale now is the Time, 

No Juftice dares examine him, his crime ; 

Let him but fay, that he from London came, 

So full of Feare and Terrour is that name, 

The Conftable his charge will foone forfake, 

And no man dares his Mittimus to make. 


Or, Londons Calamitie. 

Thus Citizens plagu'd for the Citie finnes, 

Poore entertainement in the Countrie winnes. 

Some feare the Citie, and flye thence amaine, 

And thofe are of the Countrie fear'd againe, 

Who 'gainft them barre their windowes and their doores, 

More than they would 'gainft Turkes, or lewes, or Moores, 

I thinke if very Spaniards had come there, 

Their well-come had been better, and their cheare. 

Whilft Hay-cock-lodging, with hard (lender fare, 

Welcome like dogges unto a Church they are, 

Feare makes them with the Anabaptifts joyne, 

For if an Hofteffe doe receive their coyne, 

She in a difh of water, or a paile, 

Will new baptize it, left it fomething aile. 

Thus many a Citizen well ftor'd with Gold, 

Is glad to lye upon his mother mold, 

His bed the map of his mortalitie, 

His curtaines Clouds, and Heav'n his Canopie. 

The ruffet Plow-Swaine, and the Leathern Hinde, 

Through feare is growne unmannerly, unkinde : 

And in his houfe (to harbour) hee'l preferre 

An Infidell before a Londoner : 

And thus much friendfhip Londoners did win, 

The Devill himfelfe had better welcome bin : 

Thofe that with travell were tir'd, faint, and dry, 

For want of drinke, might ftarve, and choke, and dye : 

For why the hob-nail'd Boores, inhumane Blocks, 

Uncharitable Hounds, hearts hard as Rocks, 

Did fuffer people in the field to fmke, 

Rather than give, or fell a draught of drinke. 

Milke-maides and Farmers wives are growne fo nice, 

They thinke a Citizen a Cockatrice, 

And Countrie Dames are wax'd fo coy and briske, 

They fhun him as they'l fhun a Bafiliske : 

For every one the fight of him will flye, 

All fearing he would kill them with his eye. 

Ah wofull London, I thy griefe bewaile, 

And if my fighs and prayers may but prevaile ; 

A 4 I hum- 

The Fearefull Summer, 

I humbly beg of God that heel bee pleas'd, 

In Jefus Chrift his wrath may be appeas'd, 

With-holding his dread judgements from above, 

And once more grafpe thee in his armes of love. 

In mercie all our wickedneffe remit, 

For who can give thee thankes within the pit? 

Strange was the change in leffe than three months fpace, 

In joy, in woe, in grace, and in difgrace : 

A healthfull April, a difeafed Iune, 

And dangerous July, brings all out of tune. 

That Citie whofe rare objecls pleas'd the eyes 

With much content and more varieties, 

She that was late delightfull to the eares, 

With melody Harmonious, like the Spheares : 

Shee that had all things that might pleafe the /cent, 

And all ttiefelt, did give her touch content, 

Her Cinque Port fcences, richly fed and cloy'd 

With bleffings bountifull, which fhee enjoy'd. 

Now three months change hath fill'd it full of feare, 

As if no Solace ever had beene there. 

What doe the eyes fee there but grieved fights 

Of ficke, oppreffed, and diftreffed wights ? 

Houfes fhut up, fome dying, and fome dead, 

Some (all amazed) flying, and fome fled. 

Streets thinly man'd with wretches every day, 

Which have no power to flee, or meanes to ftay, 

In fome whole ftreet (perhaps) a Shop or twaine 

Stands open, for fmall takings, and leffe gaine. 

And every clofed window, doore and flail, 

Makes each day feeme a folemne Feftivall. 

Dead Coarfes carried, and recarried ftill, 

Whilft fiftie Corpfes fcarce one grave doth fill. 

With Lord have mercie upon ns on the doore, 

Which (though the words be good) doth grieve men fore. 

And o're the doore-pofts fix'd a Croffe of red, 

Betokening that there Death fome blood hath fhed. 

Some with Gods markes or Tokens doe efpie, 

Thofe Markes or Tokens, fhew them they muft die. 


Or, Londons Calamitie. 

Some with their Carbuncles, and Sores new burft, 
Are fed with hope they have efcap'd the worft : 
Thus paffeth all the weeke, till Thurfdayes Bill 
Shewes us what thoufands Death that weeke did kill. 
That fatall Bill, doth like a Razor cut 
The dead, the living in a maze doth put, 
And he that hath a Chriftian heart, I know, 
Is griev'd, and wounded with the deadly blow. 
Thefe are the objefts of the Eye, now heare 
And marke the mournefull Muficke of the Eare ; 
There doe the brazen Iron tongu'd loud Bells, 
(Deaths clamorous Muficke) ring continuall knells, 
Some loftie in their notes, fome fadly towling, 
Whil'ft fatall Dogges made a moft difmall howling. 
Some franticke raving, fome with anguifh crying, 
Some finging, praying, groaning, and fome dying, 
The healthfull grieving, and the fickly groaning. 
All in a mournefull diapafon moaning. 
Here, Parents for their Childrens loffe lament ; 
There, Children grieve for Parents life that's fpent : 
Husbands deplore their loving Wives deceafe : 
Wives for their Husbands weepe remedileffe : 
The Brother for his Brother, friend for friend, 
Doe each for other mutuall forrowes fpend. 
Here, Sifter mournes for Sifter, Kin for Kin, 
As one griefe ends, another doth begin : 
There one lyes languifhing with flender fare, 
Small comfort, leffe attendance, and leaft care, 
With none but Death and hee to tug together, 
Untill his Corps and Soule part each from either. 
In one houfe one, or two, or three doth fall, 
And in another Death playes fweepe-ftake all. 
Thus univerfall forrowfull complaining, 
Is all the Muficke now in London raigning, 
Thus is her comfort fad Calamitie, 
And all her Melodie is Maladie. 
Thefe are the obje<5ts of the Eyes and Eares, 
Moft wofull fights, and founds of griefes and feares. 

B The 

The Fearefull Summer, 

The curious tafie that whilome did delight, 

With coft and care to pleafe the Appetite ; 

What fhe was wont to hate, fhe doth adore, 

And what's high priz'd, fhe held defpis'd before ; 

The drugs, the drenches, and untoothfome drinkes, 

Feare gives a fweetneffe to all feverall ftinckes ; 

And for fuppofed Antidotes, each Palate 

Of moft contagious weeds will make a Sallate, 

And any of the fimpleft Mountebankes, 

May cheat them (as they will) of coyne and thankes, 

With fcraped pouder of a fhooing home, 

Which they'l beleeve is of an Unicorne : 

Angelicaes, diftaftfull root is gnaw'd, 

And Hearbe of grace moft Ruefully is chaw'd ; 

Garlicke offendeth neither tafie nor fmell, 

Feare and opinion makes it rellifh well ; 

Whilft Beazer ftone, and mightie Mithridate, 

To all degrees is great in eftimate : 

And Triacles power is wondroufly expreft, 

And Dragon zvater in moft high requeft. 

Thefe 'gainft the Plague are good prefervatives, 

But the beft Cordiall is t' amend our lives : 

Sinn's the maine caufe, and we muft firft begin 

To ceafe our griefes, by ceafing of our finne. 

I doe beleeve that God hath given in ftore 

Good Medicines to cure, or eafe each Sore ; 

But firft remove the caufe of the difeafe, 

And then (no doubt but) the effect will ceafe : 

Our finne's the caufe, remove our finnes from hence, 

And God will foone remove the Peftilence : 

Then every med'cine (to our confolation) 

Shall have his power, his force, his operation ; 

And till that time, experiments are not 

But Paper walls againft a Canon fhot. 

On many a poft I fee Quacke-falvers Bills 

Like Fencers Challenges, to fhew their skills ; 

As if they were fuch M afters of defence, 

That they dare combat with the Peftilence, 


Or, Londons Calamitie. 

Meet with the Plague in any deadly fray, 

And bragge to beare the victory away ; 

But if their Patients patiently beleeve them, 

They'l cure them (without faile) of what they give them ; 

What though ten thoufands by their drenches perifh, 

They made them purpofely themfelves to cherifh : 

Their Art is a meere Artleffe kinde of lying, 

To picke their living out of others dying. 

This fharpe inveclive no way feemes to touch 

The learn'd Phyjician, whom I honour much, 

The Paracelfians and the Galennijls, 

The Philofophicall grave Herbalifts : 

Thefe I admire and revereuce, for in thofe 

God doth Dame Natures fecrets faft inclofe, 

Which they diftribute as occafion ferve 

Health to referve, and health decay'd conferve : 

'Tis 'gainft fuch Rat-catchers I bend my pen, 

Which doe mechanically murther men, 

Whofe promifes of cure (like lying knaves) 

Doth begger men, or fend tJiem to their graves. 

Now London, for thy fence of feeling next, 

Thou in thy feeling chiefly art perplext ; 

Thy heart feeles forrow, and thy body anguifh, 

Thou in thy feeling feel'ft thy force to languifh, 

Thou feel'ft much woe, and much calamitie, 

And many millions feele thy mifery ; 

Thou feel'ft the fearefull Plague, the Flix, and Fever, 

Which many a foule doth from the body fever : 

And I befeech God for our Saviours merit, 

To let thee feele the Comfort of the Spirit. 

Laft for the folace of the finell or J "cent ; 

Some in contagious roomes are clofely pent, 

Whereas corrupted aire they take, and give 

Till time ends, or lends liberty to live. 

One with a piece of taffeld well tarr'd Rope, 

Doth with that Nofe-gay keepe himfelfe in hope : 

Another doth a wifpe of Wormewood pull, 

And with great judgement crams his noftrils full : 

B2 A 

The Fearefull Summer, 

A third takes off his focks from's fweating feet, 

And makes them his perfume alongft the ftreet : 

A fourth hath got a pownc'd Pommander Box, 

With worme-wood juice, or fweating of a Fox, 

Rue fteep'd in vineger, they hold it good 

To cheere the fences, and preferve the blood. 

Whil'ft Billets Bonefire-like, and Faggots drie 

Are burnt i'th ftreetes, the Aire to purine. 

Thou great Almightie, give them time and fpace, 

And purine them with thy heavenly Grace, 

Make their repentance Incenfe, whofe fweet favour 

May mount unto thy Throne, and gaine thy favour. 

Thus every fence, that fhould the heart delight, 

Are Minifters, and Organs to affright. 

The Citizens doe from the Citie runne. 

The Countries feares, the Citizens doe fhunne : 

Both feare the Plague, but neither feares one jot 

The evill wayes which hath the Plague begot. 

This is the way this Sickneffe to prevent, 

Feare to offend, more than the punifhment. 

All Trades are dead, or almoft out of breath, 

But fuch as live by fickneffe or by death : 

The Mercers, Grocers, Silk-men, Gold-fmiths, Drapers, 

Are out of Seafon, like noone-burning Tapers : 

All functions faile almoft, through want of buyers, 

And every Art and Myftery turne Dyers : 

The very Water-men give over plying, 

Their rowing Trade doth faile, they fall to dying. 

Some men there are, that rife by others falls, 

Propheticke Augurifts in Urinals, 

Thofe are right Water-men, and rowe fo well, 

They either land their Fares in Heav'n or Hell. 

I never knew them yet, to make a ftay 

And land at Purgatorie, by the way .- 

The reafon very plainely doth appeare, 

Their Patients feele their Purgatorie here. 

But this much (Reader) you muft underftand, 

They commonly are paid before they land. 


Or, Ldndons Calamitie. 

Next unto him th' Apothecary thrives 

By Phyficke Bills, and his Prefervatives .• 

Worme-eaten Sextons, mightie gaines doe winne, 

And naftie Grave-makers great commings in : 

And Coffin-makers are well paid their rent, 

For many a wofull woodden tenement ; 

For which the Trunke-makers in Pauls Church-yard, 

A large Revenue this fad yeere have fhar'd, 

Their living Cuftomers for Trunkes were fled, 

They now made Chefts or Coffins for the dead. 

The Searchers of each corps good gainers be, 

The Bearers have a profitable fee, 

And laft, the Dog-killers great gaines abounds, 

For braining brawling Curres, and foifting hounds. 

Thefe are the Grave Trades, that doe get and fave, 

Whofe gravitie brings many to their grave. 

Thus grieved London, fill'd with moanes and groanes, 

Is like a Golgotha of dead mens bones : 

The field where Death his bloody fray doth fight, 

And kil'd a thoufand in a day and night. 

Fair houfes, that were late exceeding deare, 

At fiftie or an hundred pounds a yeere, 

The Landlords are fo pittifull of late, 

They'l let them at a quarter of the rate. 

So hee that is a mightie moneyed man, 

Let him but thither make what hafte hee can, 

Let him disburfe his Gold and Silver heape, 

And purchafe London, 'tis exceeding cheape ; 

But if he tarry but one three months more, 

I hope 'twill be as deare as 'twas before. 

A Countrie Cottage, that but lately went 

At foure markes, or at three pounds yeerely rent ; 

A Citizen, whofe meere neceffitie 

Doth force him now into the Countrie flie, 

Is glad to hire two Chambers of a Carter, 

And pray and pay with thankes five pounds a quarter. 

Then here's the alteration of this yeere, 

The Cities cheapneffe makes the Countrie deare. 

B 3 Befides 


The Fearefull Summer, 

Befides, another mifchiefe is, I fee 

A man dares not be ficke although he be : 

Let him complaine but of the Stone or Gout, 

The Plague hath fbrooke him, prefently they doubt : 

My felfe hath beene perplexed now and then, 

With the wind-Collicke, yeeres above thrice ten, 

Which in the Country I durft not repeat, 

Although my pangs and gripes and paines were great : 

For to be ficke of any kind of griefe, 

Would make a man worfe welcome than a thiefe ; 

To be drunke ficke, which er'ft did credit winne, 

Was fear'd infectious, and held worfe than finne. 

This made me, and a many more befide, 

Their griefes to fmother, and their paines to hide, 

To tell a merry tale with vifage glad, 

When as the Collicke almoft made me mad. 

Thus meere diffembling, many praftis'd then, 

And mid'ft of paine, feem'd pleafant amongft men, 

For why, the fmalleft figh or groane, or fhrieke, 

Would make a man his meat and lodging feeke. 

This was the wretched Londoners hard cafe, 

Moft hardly welcome into any place ; 

Whilft Country people, wherefo'ere they went, 

Would ftop their nofes to avoid their fent, 

When as the cafe did oft moft plaine appeare, 

'Twas only they themfelves that ftunke with feare. 

Nature was dead (or from the Country runne) 

A Father durft not entertaine his Sonne, 

The Mother fees her Daughter, and doth feare her, 

Commands her on her bleffing not come neere her. 

Affinitie, nor any kinde of Kinne, 

Or ancient friendfhip could true welcome winne ; 

The Children fcarcely would their Parents know, 

Or (did if they) but flender duty fhew : 

Thus feare made Natiire moft unnaturall, 

Duty undutifull, or very fmall, 

No friendfhip, or elfe cold and miferable, 

And generally all uncharitable. 



Or, Londons Calamitie. 

Nor London Letters little better fped, 
They would not be receiv'd (much leffe be read) 
But call into the fire and burnt with fpeed, 
As if they had been Hereticks indeed. 
And late I faw upon a Sabbath day, 
Some Citizens at Church prepar'd to pray, 
But (as they had been excommunicate,) 
The good Church-wardens thruft them out the gate. 
Another Country vertue He repeat, 
The peoples charitie was growne fo great, 
That whatfoever Londoner did dye, 
In Church or Church-yard fhould not buried lye. 
Thus were they fcorn'd, defpifed, banifhed, 
Excluded from the Church, alive, and dead, 
Alive, their bodies could no harbour have, 
And dead, not be allow'd a Chriftian Grave : 
Thus was the Countries kindneffe cold, and fmall, 
No houfe, no Church, no Chriftian buriall. 
Oh thou that on the winged Winds dojljit, 
Andfeeji our mifery, remedy it, 
Although we have deferv'd thy vengeance hot, 
Yet in thy fury (Lord) confume us not: 
But in thy mercies /heath thy flaying Sword, 
Deliver us according to thy Word : 
Shut up thy Quiver, flay thy angry Rod, 
That all the World may know thou art our God, 
Oh open wide the Gate of thy Compafjion, 
Affure our Soules that thou art our Salvation : 
Then all our thoughts, and words, and works, we' I frame 
To magnifie thy great and glorious Name. 
The wayes of God are intricate, no doubt 
Unfearchable, and paffe mans finding out, 
He at his pleafure worketh won'drous things, 
And in his hand doth hold the hearts of Kings, 
And for the love which to our King he beares, 
By fickneffe he our finfull Country cleares, 
That he may be a Patron, and a Guide, 
Unto a people purg'd and purifi'd. 



The Fearefull Summer, 

This by a prefident is manifeft ; 

When famous late Elizabeth deceaft, 

Before our gracious lames put on the Crowne, 

Gods hand did cut fuperfluous branches downe, 

Not that they then that were of life bereft, 

Were greater finners than the number left : 

But that the Plague fhould then the Kingdome cleare, 

The good to comfort, and the bad to feare : 

That as a good King, God did us affure, 

So hee mould have a Nation purg'd and pure. 

And as Elizabeth when fhe went hence, 

Was wayted on, as did befeeme a Prince : 

Of all degrees to tend her Majeftie, 

Neere fortie thoufand in that yeere did dye, 

That as fhee was belov'd of high and low, 

So at her death, their deaths their loves did fhow ; 

Whereby the world did note Elizabeth, 

Was lovingly attended after death. 

So mightie lames ('the worlds admired mirour) 

True faiths defending frietid, fterne Foe to Errour, 

When he Great Britaines glorious Crowne did leave, 

A Crowne of endleffe glory to receive, 

Then prefently in leffe than eight months fpace, 

Full eighty thoufand follow him apace. 

And now that Royall lames intombed lyes, 

And that our gracious Charles his roome fupplies, 

As Heav'n did for his Father formerly, 

A finfull Nation cleanfe and purine : 

So God, for him thefe things to paffe doth bring, 

And mends the fubjefts for fo good a King. 

Upon whofe Throne may peace and plenty reft, 

And he and his Eternally be bleft. 




Or, Londons Calamitie. 

NOw for a Conclufion in Profe, I muft have one touch 
more at the uncharitableneffeand ingratitude of thofe 
beaftly, barbarous, cruell Countrie Canibals, whom 
neither the intreatie of the healthy, or mifery of the fick could 
move to any fparke of humanity, or Chriftian compaffion ; 
their ingratitude being fuch, that although the Citie of London 
hath continually extended her bounty towards the Countries 
in generall and particular neceffities : for repairing their Chur- 
ches, Bridges, and High-wayes, for their wrackes by Sea, for 
their loffes by fire, for their inundations by water, for many 
Free-Schooles, Almes-houfes, and other workes of pietie and 
charity, moft largely and abundantly expreffed, and moft ap- 
parently knowne unto them ; yet notwithftanding all thefe 
and much more than I can re-colle6t, thefe Grunting Giriga- 
Jhites, thefe Hog-rubbing £#rfrtm2J,fuffersthediftreffedfonnes 
and daughters of this famous foftering Citie to languifh, pine, 
ftarve and dye in their ftreets, fields, ditches and high-wayes, 
giving or allowing them no reliefe whileft they lived, or buri- 
als being dead ; whofe lives (in many places,) might have been 
faved, with the harbours and entertainment which the currifh 
Nabals did afford their Swine. 

They have their excufes, and lay thefaultof their hard-hear- 
tedneffe upon the ftricl command from the Juftices and Ma- 
giftrates ; alas, a ftaffe is quickly found to beat a dogge : for let 
it be granted, that the Juftices and men of Authoritie did 
command and counfell them to be wary and carefull, yet I am 
fure that neither God or any Chriftian or good Magiftrate did 
ever command or exhort them to be cruell, unmercifull, un- 
thankfull, barbarous, inhumane, or uncharitable : for if there 
were or are any, either Juftice or other of that hellifh and 
hoggifh difpofition, let him or them expecl: to howle with 
Dives, for being fo uncompaffionate. 

What have you been but murtherers of your Chriftian bre- 
thren and fifters ? for the rule of charitie, faith, that whofoever 
he or they be, that may relieve or helpe the neceffities of o- 
thers, and doth reject or neglect it, by which meanes thofe 

C that 


The Fearefull Summer, 

that are in want doe perifh, that they are murtherers ; and as 
many of our Countrie Innes & Ale-houfes have unchang'd their 
fignes becaufe they will give no harbour (upon any condition) 
to neither whole or ficke, fo without Repentance and Gods 
great mercie, fome of them muft expecl: to hang in Hell for 
their inhofpitable want of pittie. 

What madneffe did poffeffe you ? did you thinke that none 
but Citizens were marked for death, that onely a blacke or ci- 
vill fuit of apparell, with a Ruffe-band, was onely the Plagues 
liverie ? No, you fhall finde it other-wayes : for a Ruffet Coat 
or a fheepe-skin cover, is no Armour of proofe againft Gods 
Arrowes ; though you fhut up and baracado your doores and 
windowes, as hard as your hearts and heads were Ram'd a- 
gainft your diftreffed brethren, yet death will finde you, and 
leave you to judgement. 

The Booke of God doth yeeld us many prefidents and ex- 
amples, that we are to be carefull to preferve life : it is mad- 
neffe to ftand wilfully under a falling houfe, or to fleepe whilft 
the water over-flow us, to runne defperately into the fire : or 
not avoid a fhot, or a ftroke of a Sword : It is lawfull to avoid 
famine, to fhun the Leper, the great or fmall Pox, and many 
other difeafes : for if Phyficke be good to reftore health, it is 
wifdome to preferve health to prevent Phyficke. The skilfull 
Mariner in a dangerous ftorme or tempeft, will make the beft 
hafte hee can into a fafe haven or a good harbour. I am com- 
manded to love my Neighbour, and to be carefull to helpe 
him in the prefervation of his life, and therefore I muft be re- 
fpeftfull of mine owne. 

Our Saviour Chrift (although hee was God omnipotent) 
whofe becke, or the leaft of his commands could have confu- 
med Herod, and crufhed him and his Tyranny to nothing, yet 
did he pleafe not to ufe the power and ftrength of his Godhead, 
but (for our inftruftion & example) fhewing the weakneffe and 
imbecillitie of his humanitie, he fled from Herod into JEgypt. 

By this which hath been written, it is apparent, that it is 
lawfull for any man to abfent himfelfe (if his calling will per- 
mit the fame) from manifeft and approaching danger of his 
life : Bea/is, Fozvles and Fifties, will fhunne their deftru&ion, 



Or, Londons Calamitie. 

Wormes and contemptible vermine (as lice and fleas) will 
crawle, creepe, and skip, to fave themfelves from death, there- 
fore man that hath Being, Life, Sence, Reafon, and hope of 
Immortalitie, may lawfully feeke his ov/ne prefervation. But 
if there be any that have, out of a flavifh or unchrifhian-like 
feare, fled or runne away from this famous Citie in this lamen- 
table vifitation ; I meane fuch as left neither prayer nor purfe 
to relieve thofe that under-went the grievous burthens of fick- 
neffe and calamitie ; fuch as trufted more in the Country aide, 
than in heavenly providence, fuch as imagined that their fafety 
was by their own care and induftry, not remembring that their 
finnes and tranfgreffions have helped to pull downe Gods 
wrath upon their afflifted brethren and fifters ; I fay, if any 
fuch there be, that attribute their prefervation to their owne 
difcreet carriage, giving the praife to the meanes, not much 
minding the All-fufficient caufe and Giver of the meanes : If 
any fuch have fallen into the uncourteous pawes of the fordid 
Rufticks , or Clownifh Coridons, let them know that Gods 
bleffings are worth thankes, and that they were juftly plagued 
for their unthankfulneffe. 

As fome have beene too fwift and fearefull in flying, fo, 
many have beene too flow and adventurous in flaying, depen- 
ding too much upon a common and defperate opinion, that 
their times are fixed, that their dayes are numbred, and that 
their lives are limited : fo that till God hath appointed they 
fhall not dye, and that it lyes not in them, or any power of 
man to lengthen life : All thefe Affertions are true, and I muft 
needs grant unto them. But for as much as God is the Land- 
lord of life, and puts it (as his Tenants) in our fraile Tene- 
ments ; although the Land-Lord knowes when the Tenant 
fhall depart ; yet we are ignorant, and know neither when, 
where, nor how : therefore, though there be no flying from 
death'when God hath appointed it, fo wee, not knowing the 
time when we fhall dye muft feeke to preferve life, by fhun- 
ning perils and dangers of death : let us make much of life 
whilft we have it, for we doe not know how long we fhall keep 
it ; and let us have a care to live well, and then, I am fure,we are 
out of feare to dye well. 

C 2 Being 


The Fearefull Summer, 

Being it is both naturall, lawfull, and commendable, to a- 
void all thefe dangers aforefaid, I hold it much reafon to fhun 
the place or perfon infefted with the Plague or Peftilence. But 
here may arife an obj e£tion,for Mafter M, ulligmbsM^^Fump, 
Goodman Beetle the Conftable, Gaffer Log the Hedgborough, 
and Blocke the Tythingman will fay, that they did but feeke 
their owne fafeties and prefervations in not entertaining the 
Londoners, for they were ignorant, and did not know who 
were in health or cleare, and who were infectious ; in which 
regard, they thought it the fureft courfe to relieve none at all : 
this is partly anfwered before, for no man doth or can taxe 
them for being wary and carefull, but for their uncharitable- 
neffe, and unchriftian-like dealing, both to the quick and dead: 
for the Town oiHenden in Middle/ex, feven miles fcomLondon 
was a good Country prefident, had the reft had grace to follow 
it ; for they relieved the ficke, they buried the dead in Chriftian 
buriall, and they ( being but a fmall Village ) did charitably 
collect eight pounds at the leaft, which they fent to relieve 
the poore of Saint Andrewes in Holborne, befides they allow- 
ed good weekely wages to two men, to attend and bury fuch 
as dyed ; and though they are no Pharifes, to proclaime their 
owne charitie, yet I could not over-flip their deferved com- 
mendations. In many other places there hath beene much 
goodneffe and Chriftian love expreft, for the which (no doubt) 
but there is more than an earthly reward in ftore : For I taxe 
not all Townes and Villages, though I thinke moft of them doe 
harbor fome in the fhapes of men, with the minds of Monfters. 

A man ficke of an Ague, lying on the ground ztMaiden/iead 
in Barkejhire, with his fit violently on him, had ftones caft at 
him by two men of the Towne (whom I could name) and when 
they could not caufe him to rife, one of them tooke a Hitchet, 
or long Boat-hooke, and hitch'd in the ficke mans Breeches, 
drawing him backward, with his face groveling on the ground, 
drawing him fo under the Bridge in a dry place, where he lay 
till his fit was gone, and having loft a new Hat, went his way. 

One was caft dead into the Thames at Stanes, and drawne 
with a Boat and a rope downe fome part of the River, and 
dragged to fhore and indiched. 


Or, Londons Calamitie. 

One at Richmond -was, drawne naked in the night by his own 
Wife and Boy, and caft into the Thames, where the next day 
the corps was found. 

One at Stcmes carried his dead Wife on his back in a Coffin, 
and faine to be Bearer, Prieft, Clark, Sexton, and Grave-maker 
himfelfe : thefe and many more I could fpeake upon know- 
ledge, and mould I write all that I am truly informed of, my 
Booke would out-fwell the limits of a Pamphlet ; let it fuffice, 
that God hath not forgotten to be gracious and mercifull ; our 
fickneffe he hath turned to health, our mourning into joy, and 
our defolations into full andwholfomehabitations: andthough 
the Countrie in many places doth begin to fhare in this Con- 
tagion, let them not doubt, but they fhall finde the Citie more 
charitable and hofpitable than they deferve or can expect. 
And fo God in mercie turne his fierce wrath both from them 
and us. 

Were it not that the mercies of God were infinite and un- 
meafurable, then were all theRace of man-kind moftwretched 
and miferable: And if we that doe inhabit in this Kingdomeof 
Great Britaine did but confider the innumerable Bleffings 
daily fhowred upon us, and our owne unworthineffe of any 
of the leaft of them, as alfo our unfufferable impieties, wee 
muft and fhould confeffe, that it is onely the Almighties 
merciethatwe are not all confumed,and that he hath not dealt 
with any Nation fo mercifully and bountifully as hee hath 
with us. 

Therefore to incite and move us to obedience and thanke- 
fullneffe for fo many and mightie benefits, confider (good 
Reader,) thefe following lines concerning fome former Vifita- 
tions, with fomethingworthyof note,touchingthe timeprefent. 

In the yeere 1407. the 7. or 8. of King Henry the 4. there 
was fuch a mortalitie with the Plague, that in the fpace of 
twelve months there dyed in London above 30000. people, 
and then the Citie was not halfe fo great and populous as now 
it is. 

In the 3. yeere of the Reigne of King Edward the 6. there 
was a fearefull Plague in London, which fweeped away many 

C 3 Anno 

The Fearefull Summer, 

Anno 1563. the 5. yeere of Queene Elizabeths Reigne, 
there dyed in London of the Plague and other difeafes, 20372. 

In the yeere 1603. the firft of King lames, there dyed that 
yeere in London of all difeafes, 38244. whereof of the Plague, 


In the yeere 1625. the firft yeere of our bleffed and graci- 
ous King Charles, there dyed in London and the Liberties, 
63000. and one perfon, whereof of the Plague 413 13. 

In this briefe Repetition wee may take into humble and 
thankfull confideration the favourable and fatherly warnings 
that God gives us fas it were but making the Rod over us,) 
when our iniquities deferves the Sword to kill and confound 
us : for there hath dyed of the Plague from the 7. of April 
to the 28. oiluly in the Citie of London, the Liberties, with the 
7. out-Parifhes, namely, the great and populous Citie of Weft- 
minjler, (wherein as yet there hath not dyed one) with Lam- 
beth, Newifigton, Redriffe, IJlington, Stepney, and Hackney, 
1076. and onely 40. of the faid number hath dyed within the 
Walls of London. 

It was noted that in the beginning of the infection, 1625. 
that the Citizens of London did forfake the Citie, and went 
into the Countrie (unbidden) when there dyed 80. or a 100. 
a weeke, but after the fickneffe did rife to 5205. Augujl 18. 
and that in September it abated to 1500. or about 1000. they 
came home againe fafter by halfe than they went out, fo that 
thofe that fled for feare at the death of 100. were glad and 
feareleffe when there dyed 1500. But the Proverbe fayes, 
Home is homely, &c. 

We that doe abide here in London and the Liberties, doe 
not onely enjoy (by the favour of God) the free benefits of 
food for foule and body ; but alfo (in a good houre be it fpo- 
ken) our ftreets and Churches are full of people daily, and by 
the honourable care and vigilancie of the Lord Maior, with his 
Worfhipfull and Grave Brethren, fuch order is taken, that no 
perfon in any infe6ted houfe is permitted to ftirre abroad, to 
the endangering of Citie or Country ; and we are of the minds 
here, that London is one of the wholfomeft and healthfulleft 
places in England: for with griefe let us confider the heavie 


Or, Londons Calamitie. 

Vifitation of the Town of New-Caftle, where there hath dyed 
1 20. in the fpace of 24. houres : As alfo the calamitie of Fe- 
verjham in Kent, with Grave/end, and many other Townes and 
Villages in this Kingdome ; but (God be praifed) it is well 
ceafed, efpecially at Grave/end, for to my knowledge there 
dyed not one there from the 1 2. of Iuly laft to the 20. 

And furely, there is not any that beares a Chriftian minde, 
or hath confcience or difcretion, that will prefume to run out 
from any infefted houfe or perfon, to carry danger with him 
from thence, into any place wherefoever. 

Our finnes are as great and greater than the tranfgreflions 

of Juda, yet God ftrooke that little Kingdome (being not fo 

big as 12. of our Shires) with fuch a fearefull Plague, that in 

the fhort fpace of three dayes there dyed 70000. in the Reigne 

of King David. Therefore as it is in the 1 King. 8. and 38. 

Let us learne to know the Plague of our owne hearts, and 

humbly ftretch forth our hands in Gods Houfe, and then no 

doubt but when we make confcience of our wayes, repent for 

finnes paft, avoid finnes prefent, and prevent finnes to 

come, God will ceafe to punifh, and the 

Plague will be taken from us. 




The Carriers Cofmographie, 

[Hazlitt, No. 58.] 


Carriers Cofmographie. 


A Briefe Relation, 


The Innes, Ordinaries, Hofteries, 

and other lodgings in, and neere London, where 

the Carriers, Waggons, Foote-pofts and 

Higglers, doe ufually come, from any parts, 

townes, ftrires and countries, of the Kingdomes 

of England, Principality of Wales, as alfo from 

the Kingdomes of Scotland and 


With nomination of what daies of 

the weeke they doe come to London, and on 

what daies they returne, whereby all forts of 

people may finde direction how to receiue, 

or fend, goods or letters, unto fuch places 
as their occafions may require. 

As alfo, 

Where the Ships, Hoighs, Barkes, 

Tiltboats, Barges and wherries, do ufually attend 

to Carry Paffengers, and Goods to the coaft 

Townes of England, Scotland, Ireland, or the 

Netherlands ; and where the Barges and 

Boats are ordinarily to bee had 

that goe up the River of 

Thames weftward 

from London. 

By Iohn Taylor. 
London Printed by A.G. 1637. 

To all 

Whom it may concerne, with my 

kinde remembrance to the Pofts., Carriers, 

Waggoners and Higglers. 

iF any man or woman whomfoever hath either oc- 
cafion or patience to Read this following defcrip- 
tion, it is no doubt but they fhall find full fatisfa- 
clion forasmuch as they laid out for the booke, 
if not, it is againfl my will, arid my good intenti- 
ons are loft and fruflrate. J wrote it for three 
Caufes, firftfor agenerall and necejfary good ufefor the whole Com- 
mon-wealth, fecondly to exprejfe my gratefull duty to all thofe who 
have honefllypaid me my mony zvhich they owed me for my Bookes of 
the colleclion of Tavemes, in London and Weftminfter, and tenne 
fhires or Counties next round about London, and I doe alfo thanke 
allfuch as doe purpofe to pay me heereafter : thirdly, (for the third 
fort) that can pay me a?id will not; I write this as a document : I am 
wellpleafed to leave them to the hangmans tuition (as being pafl any 
other mans mending) for I would have them to know, that I amfenfi- 
ble of the too much loffe that I doefuffer by their pride or coufenage, 
their number being fo many, and my charge fo great, which I paid for 
paper and printing of thofe bookes, that the bafe dealing of thofe ffi arks 
is Infupportable; But the tedious Toyle that I had in this Colleclion, 
and the harfh and unfavoury anfwers that I wasfaine to take patient- 
ly, from Hofllers, Carriers, and Porters, may move any man that 
thinks himfelfe mortall to pitty me. 

A 2 In 

A dire6lion 

In fome placets I was fufpected for a proiector, or one that had devifed 
fome tricke to bring the Carriers under fo7ne new taxation ; andfome- 
times I was held to have been a man taker, a Serieant or bay life to ar- 
r eft- or attach mens good or beajls ; indeed I was fear ce taken for an 
honefl man among ft the moft of them : all which fuppofitions I was 
inforcedoftentimes to wafh away, ivith two or three Iugges of Beer e, 
at moft of the Innes I came to ; In fome Innes or Hofleries, I could 
get 110 certaine Intelligence, fo that I did take Inflructions at the next 
Inne unto it, which J did oftentimes take upon truft though I doub- 
ted it was indirect and imperfect, 

Had the Carriers hoftlers and others knowne my harmeleffe and ho- 
nefl intendments, I doe thinke this following relation, had beene more 
large and ufefull, but if there be any thing left out in thisfirft Impref- 
Jion, itfhallbewith diligence infer ted hereafier, when the Carriers and 
I fhall bee more familiarly acquainted, and they, with the hoftlers, 
fhall bepleafed in their ingenerofity , to afford me more A mple directi- 
ons. In the meanefpace, I hope I fhall give none of my Readers caufe to 
curfe the Carrier that brought me to towne. 

Some may obiect that the Carriers doe often change and fhift from 
one Inne or lodging to another, whereby this following direction may be 
heereafter untrue, to them I anfwer,that lam not bound to bindethem, 
or to flay them in any place, but if they doe remove, they may be en- 
quired for at the place which they have left or forfaken, and it is an 
eafie matter to finde them by the learned intelligence of fome other 
Carrier, an hoftler, or an underftanding Porter. 

Others may obiect. and fay that I have not named all the townes 
and places that Carriers doe goe unto in England and Wales .• To 
whom Iyeeld, but yet I anfwer, that if a Carrier of Yorke hath a 
letter or goods to deliver at any towne in his way thitlier, heferves the 
turne well enough, and there are carriers and meffengers from Yorke 
to carry fuch goods and letters as are to bepafl any waies north, broad 
and wide asfarre or further than .Sarwicke : fo he that fends to Lan- 
cafter, may from thence have what he fends conveyd to Kendall, or 
Cockermouth, and what a man fends to Hereford may from thence 
be paffed to Saint Davids in Wales, the Worfter carriers can con- 

to the Reader. 

vey any thing as farre as Carmarthen, and thofe that goe to Chefter 
may fend to Carnarvan : the carriers or pofts that goe to Exeter may 
fend daily to i'limouth, or to the Mount in Cornewall, Maxfield, 
Chipnam, Hungerford, Newberry : and all thofe Townes betweene 
London and 2?riftow, the i?riftow carriers doe carry letters unto 
them, fo likewife all the townes and places are ferved, which are be- 
twixt London and Lincolne, or Lofton, Yarmouth, Oxford, Cam- 
bridge, Walungham, Dover, Rye or any places of the Kings Domi- 
niojis withfafe and true carriage of goods and letters ; as by this little 
bookes directions may be perceived. Befides, if a man at Conflantinople 
orfome other remote part or Region fhall chance to fend a letter to his 
parents, mafler, or friends that dwell at Nottingham, Derby, Shrews- 
bury, Exeter, or any otlier towne'in England; then this booke will 
give inftruftions where the Carriers doe lodge that may convey the 
f aid letter, which could not eafily be done without it : for there are not 
many that by hart or memory can tellfuddenly zvhere and when every 
carrier is to be found. I have (for the eafe of the Reader & thefpeedier 
finding out of every townes name, to which any one would fend, or 
from whence they would receive, fet them downe by way of A Iphabet ; 
and thus Reader if thou beeft pleafed, I amfatisfied, if thou beefl con- 
tented, I am paid, if thou beeft angry, I care not for it. 


He Carriers of Saints Ibanes doe come everyfriday to 
the figne of the Peacocke in Alderfgate ftreet, on 
which daies alfo commeth a coach from Saint Al- 
banes to the bell in the fame ftreet, the like coach is 
alfo there for the Carriage of paffengers every 

The Carriers of Abington doe lodge at the George in bred- 
ftreet, they do come on wednefdaies and goe away on thurfdaies. 
The Carriers of Aylsbury, in Buckingham/hire, doe lodge at the 
George neere Holborne bridge, and at the fwan in the ftrand, and 
at the Angel behinde Saint Clements church, and at the bell in 
holborne, they are at one of thefe places every other day. 

The Carriers of Afkur doe lodge at the caftle in great wood- 
ftreet, they are to bee found there on thurfdaies, fridaies and 


THe Carriers of Blanvile in Dorcetjhire, doe lodge at the 
chequer neere Charing croffe, they doe come thither every 
fecond thurfday, alfo there commeth carriers from Blandfourd,to 
the figne of the Rofe neere Holbourne bridge. 

The Carriers of Brayntree, and Bocking in EJJex doe lodge at 
the figne of the Tabbard in Gracious ftreet, (neere the conduit) 
they doe come on thurfdaies and goe away on fridaies. 

The Carriers oiBathe doe lodge at the three cups in breadftreet 
they come on fridaies and goe on faturdaics. 


A fpeedy way 

The Carriers of Brijlow doe lodge at the three Cups in bred- 
ftreet, and likewife from Briftow on Thurfdaies a Carrier which 
lodgeth at the fw'an neere to holborne bridge, 

The Carriers oiBrewton in Dorcetfhire doe lodge at the Rofe 
neere holborne bridge, they come on thurfdaies and goe away on 

The Carriers from divers parts of Btickinghamjhire and Bed- 
ford/hire, are almoft every day to bee had at the figne of the Sara- 
cens head without Newgate. 

The Carriers of Broomsbury, doe lodge at the figne of the 
Maidenhead in Cat-eatonftreet, neere the guildhall in London, 
they come on thurfdaies and goe away on fridaies. 

The Carriers of Bingham, in No ttinghamjhire, doe lodge at the 
blacke bull in fmithfield, they come on fridaies. 

The Carriers of Brantley in Stafford/Jure, doe lodge at the caftle 
neere fmithfield barres, they come on thurfdaies and goe away on 
fridaies or faturdaies. 

The Carriers of Burfoord in Oxford/hire, doe lodge at the bell 
in friday ftreet, they come on thurfdaies and goe away on fri- 

The Carriers of Buckhingham doe lodge at the kingshead in the 
old change, they come wednefdaies and thurfdaies. 

The Carrriers of "Buckingham, doe lodge at the faracens head in 
carter lane, they come and goe fridaies and faturdaies. 

The Carriers of Bewdley in Worcefterjhire, doe lodge at the caftle 
in woodftreet, they come and goe thurfdaies, fridaies and fatur- 

The Carriers of Buckingham, doe lodge at the George neere 
holborne bridge, they come and goe on wednefdaies, thurfdaies 
and fridaies. 

The Carries of Brackley in Northampton/hire, doe lodge at the 
George neere holborne bridge, they come and goe on wednefdaies 
thurfdaies and fridaies. 

The Carriers of Banbury in Oxfordjhire doe lodge at the George 
neere holborne bridge, they goe and come wednefdaies, thurf- 
daies and fridaies. 


to Jlnde out all Carriers, 

The Carriers of Bedford doe lodge at the three horfefhooes in 
in alderfgateftreet, they come on thurfdaies. 
The Carriers of bridge-north doe lodge at the Maidenhead in cat- 
eaton ftreet, neere the guild-hall. 

The Carriers of Bury (or faint Edmonds Bury) in Suffolke, doe 
lodge at the dolphin without bifhopfgate, they come on thurf- 

The Waggons of Bury or Berry in Suffolke, doe come every 
thurfday to the figne of the foure fwans in bifhopfgate ftreet. 

A foote-poft doth come from thefaid Berry every wedenfday to 
the greene dragon in bifhopsgate ftreet, by whom letters may be 
conveyed to and fro. 

The Carriers of Barjiable in Devon/hire, doe lodge at the ftarre 
in breadftreet, they come on fridaies and returne on faturdaies 
or mundaies. 

The Carriers of Bampton doe lodge at the Mer-maid in car- 
terlane : and there alfo lodge the Carriers of Buckland, they are 
there on thursdaies and fridaies. 

The Carriers of Brill 'in Buckingham/hire, do lodge at the figne 
of Saint Pauls head in carterlane, they come on tuefdaies and 

The Carriers of Bampton in Lanca/hire , doe lodge at the 
beare 2XBaJhingJhaw, they are there to bee had on thurfdaies and 
fridaies, alfo thither commeth Carriers from otherparts in thefaid 
County of Lanca/hire. 

The Carriers of Batcombeia Somerfetjhire, do lodge at the crowne 
(or Iarrets Hall) at the end of baffinglane neare bread ftreet, they 
come every friday. 

The Carriers of Broughton, in Leicejlerjliiere, doe lodge at the 
figne of the Axe in Aldermanbury ; they are there every fri- 


THe Carrier of Colchejler do lodge at the croffe-keyes in Gra- 
cious Jlreet, they come on the Thurfdaies and goeaway on the 

B The 

A fpeedy way 

The Carrier of Cheffam in Buckinghamjhire, doth come twice 
every weeke to the figne of the white Hart in high Holborne at 
the end of Drury lane. 

The Carrier of Cogjtiall in Suffolk&oth. lodge at thefpread Eagle 
in Gracious Jlreete, he comes and goes onThurfdaies and Fridaies. 

The Waggons from Chippinganger in EJfex, doe come every 
Wednefday to the crowne without Algate. 

The Waggons from Chelmsford'm Efiex,come onWednefdaies 
to the figne of the blew Boare without Algate. 

The Carriers of Cheltenham in Glocejler/hire, doe lodge at the 
three cups in Bredjlreet, they doe come on Fridaies and goe away 
on Saturdaies. 

The Carriers of Cambden in Glocejler/hire, and of Chippingnor- 
ton, doe lodge at the three Cups in bredjlreet, they come and goe 
Thurfdaies, Fridaies, and Saturdaies. 

The Carriers of Chejler doe lodge at the caftle in Woodjlreete, 
they are there to be had on Thurfd. Frid. and Saturdaies. 

The Carriers of Chard 'in Dorjetjhire, do lodge at the Queenes 
Armes neere Holborne bridge, they are there to be hadon Fridaies. 

The Carriers of Chard doe lodge at the George in Bredjlreet. 

The Carriers of Chejler do lodge at BloJJomes (or Bojomes Inne) 
in Saint Laurence lane, neere Cheapfide, every Thurfday. 

The Carrier of Coleajhby in Northamptonjhire, doe lodge at the 
figne of the Ball in Smithfield; alfo there doe lodge Carriers of 
diversother partsofthat countryat the Bell in Smithfield, they do 
come on the Thurfdaies. 

The Carriers of Crawley'm Bedjordjhire, doe lodge at the Beare 
and ragged ftaffe in Smithfield, they come on the Thurfdaies. 

The Carriers of Coventry in Warwickejhire, doe lodge at the 
Ram in Smithfield, they come on Wednefdaies and Thurfdaies. 

There are other carriers from Coventry that doe on Thurfdaies 
and Fridaies come to the Rofe in Smithfield. 

The Carrier of Creete in Leicejlerjhire, doe lodge at the Rofe in 

The Waggons or Coaches from Cambridge, doe come every 
Thurfday and Friday to the blacke Bull in Bijhopjgatejlreet. 


to finde out all Carriers. 

The Carriers of Coventry doe lodge at the figne of the Axe in 
S* Mary Axe in Aldermanbury, they are there Thurfdaies and 

The Carriers of Cambridge, doe lodge at the Bell in Coleman 
Jlreete, they come every Thurfday. 

The foot-poft of Canterbury doth come every Wednefday and 
Saturday to the figne of the two neck'd Swanne at Sommers key, 
neere Billing/gate, 

The Carriers of Crookehorne in Devon/hire, doe lodge at the 
Queens Armes neere Holborne bridge, they come on Thurfdaies. 


THe Carriers of Dunmow in EJfex, doe lodge at the Saracens 
head in Gracious Jlreet, they come and goe on Thurfdaies and 

The Waggons from Dunmow, doe come every Wednefday to 
the crowne without Algate. 

The Carriers of Ditmarjh in Barkejhire, doe lodge at the 
George in Bredjlreet. 

The Carriers of Doncajler in Yorkejhire, and many other parts 
in thatcountry, doe lodgeat the Bell, orBell Savage without Lud- 
gate, they do come on Fridaies, and goe away on Saturdaies or 

The Carriers of Dorchejler, doe lodge at the Rofe neere Hol- 
borne bridge, they come and goe on Thurfdaies and Fridaies. 

The Carriers of Denbigh in Wales, doe looge at Bq/omes Inne 
every Thurfday: alfo other carriers doe come to the faid Inne from 
other parts of that country. 

The Carrier of Daintree, doth lodge every Friday night at the 
croffe keyes in S* Iohns Jlreet. 

The Carrier from Duncehanger, and other places neere Stony 
Stratford, doe lodge at the three cups in S* Johns Jlreete. 

The Carriers of Derby, and other parts of Derby >Jhire, doe lodge 
at the Axe in S i Mary Axe, neere Aldermanbury, they are to be 
heard of there on Fridaies. 

B 2 The 

A fpeedy way 

The Carriers of Darby doe lodge at the caftle in woodftreet e- 
very weeke, on thurfdaies or fridaies. 


THe Carrier of Epping in EJfex doe lodge at the Prince his 
Armes in Leadenhallftreet, he commeth on thurfdaies. 
The Carriers of Exeter do lodge at the ftar in breadftreet, they 
come on fridaies and goe away on faturdaies or mundaies. 
The Carriers of Exeter do lodge at the rofe neere holborne bridge 
they come on thurfdaies. 

The Carriers of Evejham in Worcejlerjhire doe lodge at the ca- 
ftle in woodftreet, they come thither on fridaies. 

THe Carriers of Eec&mg/iam-forre/Z m Worcejierjhiredoe lodge 
at the crowne in high holbourne, and at the Queenes 
head at Saint Giles in the fields, there is alfo another Carrier from 
the fame place. 

The Carrier oiFaringdon in "Qarkejhire doe lodge at the Saint 
Pauls head in Carter lane, they come on tuefdaies and goe away 
on wedenfdaies. 

CArriers from Grindon Vnderwood, in Buckingham/hire doe 
lodge at the Paul-head in carter lane, they are to bee found 
there on tuefdaies and wednefdaies. 

The Carriers of Glocejier doe come to the Saracens head with- 
out Newgate, on fridaies. 

The Carriers oiGloJler doe lodge at the Saracens head in carter 
lane, they come on fridaies. 

Clothiers doe come every weeke out of divers parts of Gloce- 
Jlerjhire to the Saracens head in friday ftreet. 


to Jinde out all Carriers. 

The Waines or Waggons doe come every weeke from fundry 
places in Glocejlerjhire, and are to bee had at the fwan neere hol- 
borne Bridge. 

There are Carriers of fome places in Glocejlerjhire that doe 
lodge at the mer-maide in Carterlane. 


CArriers from Hadley in Suffolk, doe lodge at the George in 
Lumbardftreet, they come on thurfdaies. 

The Carriers of Huntingdon, doe lodge at the White Hinde 
without Cripplegate, they come upon thurfdaies and goe away 
on fridaies. 

The Carriers of Herejord, doe lodge at the Kings Head in the 
old change, they doe come on fridaies and goe on faturdaies. 

The Carriers of Hallijax in Yorkejhire doe lodge at the Grey- 
hound in fmithfield, they doe come but once every moneth. 

The Carriers of Hallijax are every Wednefday to be had at the 
Beare at Bafhingfhaw. 

The Carriers of Hallijax doe likewife lodge at the Axe in Al- 

The Carriers of Hallijax doe likewife lodge at the white hart 
in Colemanftreet. 

The Carrier of Hatjeild m Hartjordjhire, doe lodge at the bell 
in Saint Iohns ftreet, they come on thurfdaies. 

The Carriers of Harding in Hartjordjhire doe lodge at the 
Cocke in Alderfgatefteete, they come on tuefdaies, wednefdaies 
and thurfdaies. 

The Carrier or waggon ofHadham, in Hartfourjhire do lodge 
at the Bull in Bifhopfgateftreet, they doe come and goe, on mun- 
daies tuefdaies, fridaies and faturdaies. 

The Waggon, or Coach from Hartjourd Towne doth come 
every friday to the foure fwannes without Bifhopfgate. 

The Waggon or Coach of Hatjeild, doth come every friday to 
the Bell in Alderfgate ftreet. 

B 3 


A ffteedy way 

THe Carriers of Ipfwich in Suffolke, doe lodge at the figne of 
the George in Lumbardftreet, they doe come on Thurfdaies. 
The Poft of Ipfwich, doth lodge at the croffe keyes in Gracious 
Jlreete, he comes on Thurfdaies, and goes on Fridaies. 

The Waines of Ingarjtone in Effex, doe come every Wednef- 
day to the Kings Armes in Leadenhalljireet. 

The Carriers of Jvell in Dorfetfhire, do lodge at Jarrets hall, or 
the crowne in Bafing lane, neere Breqfteeet. 


THe Carriers ofKeinton in Oxford/hire, doe lodge at the Bell 
in Friday Jlreet, they are there to be had on Thurfdaies and 

The Poft of the Towne oiKingfton upon Hull (commonly cal- 
led Hull) doth lodge at the fign of the Bull over againft Leaden- 


THe Carrier of Lincolne doth lodge at the white Horfe with- 
out Cripplegate, he commeth every fecond Friday. 
The Carriers of Laighton Beudefart (corruptly colled Laigh- 
ton Buzzard) in Bedford/hire, doe lodge at the Harts Homes in 
Smithfield, they come on Mundaies and Tuefdaies. 

The Carriers of Leicefler do lodge at the Saracens head without 
Newgate, they doe come on Thurfdaies. 

The Carriers of Leicefler 'do alfo lodge at the caftle neer Smith- 
field bars, they doe come on Thurfdaies. 

There be Carriers that do paffe to and through fundry parts of 
Leicefterfhire, which doe lodge at the Ram in Smithfield. 

The like Carriers are weekely to be had at the Rofe in 
Smithfild, that come and goe through other parts of Leicefterfhire. 



to Jinde out all Carriers. 

The Carriers of Lew ton in Hartford/kire do lodge at the Cocke 
in Aider/gate Jlreet, they are there Tuefdaies and Wednefdaies. 

The Carriers of Leeds in York/hire, doe lodge at the Beare in 
BaJJinJhaw, they come every Wednefday. 

The Carriers of Leedes, doe alfo lodge at the Axe in A Iderman- 

The Carrier oiLeiceJler do lodge at the Axe in Aldermanbury. 

The Carriers of Loughborough in Leicefierjhire, do lodge at the 
Axe in Aldermanbury: alfo other Carriers doe lodge there which 
do paffe through Leicejlerjhire, and through divers places 


THe Carriers oiMawlden mEffex,Ao lodge at the croffekeyes 
in Gracious Jlreet, they come on Thurfd. and go on Fridaies. 

The Carriers of Monmouth, in Wales, and fome other parts of 
Monmouthjhire, do lodge at the Paul head in Carter lane, they do 
come to London on Fridaies. 

The Carriers of Marlborough, doe lodge at the figne of the 
Swan neere Holborne bridge, they do come on Thurfdaies. 

There doth come from great Marlow'm Buckinghamjkire,fome 
Higglers, or demie Carriers, they doe lodge at the Swanne in the 
Strand, and they come every Tuefday. 

The Carriers oi Manchejler, doe lodge at the Beare in BaJJing- 
Jhaw, they doe come on Thurfdaies or Fridaies. 

The Carriers of Manchejler, doe likewife lodge at the figne of 
the Axe in Aldermanbury. 

The Carriers of Manchejler, doe alfo lodge at the two neck'd 
SwaninZ#d?7iz«£(betweene great WoodJlreet,z.nAMilk-Jlreet end) 
they come every fecond Thurfday : alfo there do lodge Carriers 
that doe paffe through divers other parts of Lancajhire. 

The Carriers of Meljord in Suffolke, doe lodge at the fpread- 
Eagle in Gracious Jlreet, they come and goe on Thurfdaies aud 

N The 


A fpeedy way 


CArriers from New-elme in Barkejhire doe lodge at the George 
in breadftreet they come on wednefdaies and thurfdaies. 

The Carriers of Netherley in Stafford/hire doe lodge at the 
Beare and ragged ftaffe in fmithfield, they doe come on thurfdaies. 

The Carriers of Northampton, and from other parts of that 
county and country there about, arealmoft every dayin theweeke 
to be had, at the Ram in fmithfield. 

There doth come alfo Carriers to the Rofe in fmithfield, daily 
which doe paffe to, or through many parts of Northampton/hire. 

The Carriers of Nottingham, doe lodge at the croffe-keyes in 
Saint Iohns ftreet, he commeth every fecond faturday. 

There is alfo a footpoft doth come every fecond thurfday from 
Nottingham, he lodgeth at the fwan in Saint Iohns ftreet. 

The Carriers of Norwich doe lodge at the Dolphin without 
Bifhopfgate, they are to bee found there on mundaies and tuef- 

The Carriers of Newport Pannel'mBuckingJiam/hire, doe lodge 
at the Peacocke in Alderfgate ftreet, they doe come on mundaies 
and tuefdaies. 

The Carriers of Nantwich in Chesjhire, doe lodge at the Axe in 
aldermanbury, they arethere wednefdaies, thurfdaies and fridaies. 

The Carriers of Nuneaton in W arwickfliire, doe lodge at the 
Axe in Aldermanbury, they come on fridaies. 


THe Carriers of Oxfoord doe lodge at the Saracens head 
without Newgate (neere Saint fepulchers Church) they are 
there on Wednefdaies or almoft any day. 

The Carriers of Oney in Buckingham/hire, doe lodge at the 
Cocke in Aldersgateftreet at long lane end, they doe come on 
mundaies, tuefdaies and wednefdaies. 



tojinde out all Carriers. 

T He Carriers of Prefton in Lancajhire doe lodge at the Bell in 
friday ftreet, they are there on fridayes. 


THeCarriers of Redding -in Barkejkire&oz lodge at the George 
in Breadftreet, they are there on thurfdaies and fridaies. 
The Carriers from Rutland, and Rutlandjkire,and other parts of 
Yorkejhire, do lodge at the Ram in Smithfield, they come weekly, 
but their daies of Comming is not certaine. 

HTHe Carriers of Sudbury in Suffolke doe lodge at the Saracens 
Head in Gracious ftreet, they doe come and goe on thurfdaies 
and fridaies. 

The Carriers of Sabridgworth in Hartfordfhire do lodge at the 
Princes Armes in Leadenhall ftreet, they come on thurfdaies. 

The Waines from Stock in EJfex, doe come every Wednefday 
to the Kings Armes in Leadenhall ftreet. 

The Carriers from Stroodwater in Glocefterfhire doe lodge at 
the Bell in friday ftreet, they doe come on Thurfdaies and fridaies. 

The Carriers of Si/ham in Northhamptonfhire do lodge at the 
Saracens head in Carter-lane, they come on friday,and returneon 

The Carriers from Sheffield, in Yorkefhire doth lodge at the 
Caftle in Woodftreet, they are there to bee found on Thurfdaies 
and Fridayes. 

The Carriers from Salisbury doe lodge at the Queenes Armes 
neere Holbourne bridge, they come on thurfdayes. 

The Carriers of Shrewsbury, doe lodge at the Mayden-head in 
Cateaton ftreet, neere Guildhall, they come on thurfdaies. 

The Carriers of Shrewsbury do alfo lodge at Bofomes Inne,they 

C doe 


A ffteedy way 

doe come on thurfdaies, and there doe -lodge Carriers that doe 
travell divers parts of the County of Shropjhire and places adioy- 


THe Carrier from Stony-Jlratfourd doe lodge at the Rofe and 
Crowne in Saint Iohns ftreet, he commeth every tuefday. 

There doth come from Saffron-Market, in Norfolke, a footpoft 
who lodgeth at the chequer in Holbourne. 

The Carriers of Stampfoord, doe lodge at the Bell in Alderfgate- 
flreet, they doe come on wednefdaies and thurfdaies. 

The Waggon from Saffron Wa/den in EJfex, doth come to the 
Bull in Bifhopsgateftreet, it is to bee had there, on Tuefdaies and 

The Carriers of Shaftsbury, and from Sherboumem Dorcetjhire 
doe lodge at the Crowne (or Iarrets Hall) in Bafeing lane neere 
Breadftreet, they come on fridaies. 

The Carriers from Stopfoord in Chesjhire do lodge at the Axe in 
Aldermanbury, alfo there are Carriers to other parts of Chesjhire. 

The Carriers of Staffoord, and other parts of that county, doe 
lodge at the fwan with two necks, in Lad lane, they come on 

CArriers from Teuxbury in Glocefterjhire&oz lodge at the three 
Cups in Breadftreet, they come and goe on fridaies and fa- 

The Carriers of Tiverton in Devon/hire, doe lodge at the ftarre 
in Breadftreet, they come on fridaies and returne on faturdaies or 

The Carriers of Tame, in Oxfoordjhire, doe lodge at the Sara- 
cens head in carterlane, they come and goe fridaies and faturdaies. 
^ The Carriers of Torceter'm Northampton/hire, doe lodge at the 
Caftle neere fmithfield Barres, they come on thurfdaies. 



to finde out all Carriers. 


CArriers from Vies, (or the De- Vifes) in Wiltjhire, doe lodge 
at the figne of the fwan neere Holbourne Bridge, they come 
on thurfdaies and goe away on fridaies. 


THe Carrier from Wendover in Buckingham/hire doth lodge 
at the blackeSwanne in Holborne,and is there everytuefday 
and wednefday. 

The Carrier of Wittham in Effex doth lodge at the Croffe- 
keyes in Gracious-ftreet every thurfday and friday. 

TheCarriers of Wallingfield'm Suffolck doe lodge at the Spread- 
eagle in Gracious-ftreet, they come and goe on thurfdayes and fri- 

The Carriers of Wallingford in Barkejhire doe lodge at the 
George in Breadftreet, their daiesarewednefdaies, thurfdaies, and 

The Carriers of Winchcombe in Glocefierjhire doe lodge at the 
three Cups in Breadftreet, they come and goe on fridaies and fa- 

The Clothiers of fundry parts of Wiltjhire doe weekely come 
and lodge at the Saracens head in Friday-ftreet. 

The Carriers of Warwick doe lodge at the Bell in Friday-ftreet 
they are there on thurfdaies and fridaies. 

The Carriers of Wood/lock in Oxfordjhire doe lodge at the Mer- 
maid in Carterlaine on thurfdaies and fridaies. 

The Carriers of Wantage in Berk/hire doe lodge at the Mermaid 
in Carterlane, their daies are thurfday and friday. 

The Carriers of Worcejler doe lodge at the Caftle in Wood- 
ftreet, their daies are fridaies and faturdaies. 

The Carriers of Winjloe in Buckinghamfhire doe lodge at the 
Georg neere Holbornbridge, wednefdaies, thurfdaies and fridaies. 

C 2 The 


A ffteedy way 

The Waggon from Watford in Middle/ex doth come to the 
the Swan neere Holbornebridge, on thurfdaies. 

The Carriers from Wells in Sommerfetfliire doe lodge at the 
Rofe neere Holbornebridge , they come on thurfdaies, and on 

The Carriers from Witney in Oxford/hire doe lodge at the 
figne of the Sarafinshead without Newgate, they come on Wed- 

Their commeth a Waggon from Winchejler every Thurfday 
to the Swan in the Strand, and fome Carriers comes thither from 
divers parts oi^uckinghamfliire , but the daies of their comming 
are not certaine. 

The Carriers of VVorceJler doe lodge at the Maydenhead in 
Cateatenftreet, neere Guild hall, they come on thurfdaies. 

The Carriers from many parts of Worcejlerfhire and Warwick- 
Jhire doe lodge at the Rofe and Crowne in high Holborne, but 
they keepe no certaine daies. 

The Carriers of Wanvicke doe come to the Queenes head 
neere S 4 . Giles in the fields, on thurfdaies. 

The Carrier of VValfingham in Norfolke doe lodge at the 
Chequer in Holborne, he commeth every fecond thurfday. 

The Carriers of VVendover in ~2>uckinghamjhire do lodge at the 
Bell in Holborne. 

There doth a Pofte come every fecond thurfday from Walfing- 
hatn to the Bell in Holborne. 

The Carrier of Ware in Hartfordjkire doth lodge at the Dol- 
phin without Bifhopfgate, and is there on mundaies and tuef- 

There is a Footepoft from Walfingham doth come to the 
Croffekeyes in Holborne every fecond thurfday. 

There are Carriers from divers parts of Warwicke/Aire thsA doe 
come weekely to the Caftle neere Smithfield barres, but their 
daies of comming are variable. 

There is a Waggon from Ware at the Vine in Bifhopfgateftreet 
every friday and faturday. 


to finde out all Carriers. 

The Carriers of Wakefield in Yorkejhire doe lodge at the Beare 
in Bafhinfhaw, they do come on wednefdaies. 

The Carriers of Wells in SomerfetJJtire, do lodge at the Crowne 
in Bafing lane neereBreadftreet, they come andgoe on fridaiesand 

The Carriers of Wakefield and fome other parts of Yorkejhire 
doe lodge at the Axe in Aldermanbury, they are to be had there 
on thurfdaies. 

The Carriers of Wakefield and fome other parts of Yorkejhire 
doth alfo lodge at the VVhitehart in Colemanftreet, they come 
every fecond thurfday. 

THe Carriers of Ycrke, (with fome other parts neere Yorke, 
within that County,) doe lodge at the figne of the Bell, or 
Bell falvage without Ludgate, they come every fridaie, and goe 
away on faturday or munday. 

A Footepoft from Yorke doth come every fecond thurfday to 
the Rofe and Crowne in Saint Iohns ftreet. 

For Scotland. 

THofe that will fend any letter to Edenborough, that fo they 
may be conveyed to and fro to any parts of the Kingdome 
of Scotland, the Pofte doth lodge at the figne of the Kings 
Armes (or the Cradle) at the upper end of Cheapfide, from whence 
every monday, any that have occafion may fend. 

C 3 


A fpeedy way 

The Innes and lodgings of the Car- 
riers which come into the Burrough oi South- 
warke out of the Countries oiKent, Suffex, 
and Surrey. 

A Carrier from Reygate in Surrey doth come every thurfday 
(or oftner) to the Falcon in Southwark. 
The Carriers of Tunbridge, of Seavenoake, of Faut and 
Staplehurjl in Kent, doe lodge at the Katherinewheele, they doe 
come on thurfdaies and goe away on fridaies : alfo on the fame 
daies doe come thither the Carriers oiMarden, and Penbree, and 
from VVarbleton in Suffex. 

On Thurfdaies the Carriers of Hanckhurjl and Blenchley in 
Kent, and from Darking and Ledderhead in Surrey doe come to 
the Greyhound in Southwarke. 

The Carriers of Teuterden and PenOturfl'm Kent, and the Car- 
riers from Battell in Suffex doe lodge at the figne of the fpurre 
in Southwarke , thy come on thurfdaies and goe away on fri- 

To the Queenes head in Southwarke doe come on wednef- 
daies and thurfdaies, the Carriers from Port/mouth in Hampjhire, 
and from ChicheJler,Havant, Arundell,BillinghurJl,Rye,Lamber- 
hurjl, and VVadhurJl, in Suffex, alfo from Godjlone, and Linvill'va. 
Surrey, they are there to be had wednefdaies, thurfdaies and 

The Carriers from Crambroke and Bevenden in Kent, and from 
Lewis, Petworth, Uckfield, and Cuckfield in Suffex, doe lodge at 
the Tabbard, or Talbot in Southwarke, they are there on wednef- 
daies, thurfdaies, and fridaies. 

To the George in Southwarke come every thurfday the Car- 
riers from Gilford, VVannifh, Goudhurft, and Chiddington in 
Surrey, alfo thither come out of Suffex (on the fame daies week- 
ly) the Carriers of Battell, Sindrich, and Haftings, 

The Carriers from thefe places undernamed out of Kent, Suf- 

to finde out all Carriers. 

fex and Surrey, are every weeke to bee had on thurfdaies at the 
White hart in the Borough of Southwarke ; namely Dover, Sand- 
wich, Canterbury, Biddenden, Mayfield, Eden (or Eaten "Bridge) 
Hebfome, VVimbleton, Godaliman, (corruptly called Godly man) 
Withernam, Shoreham, Enfield, Horjham, Hajlemoore, and from 
many other places, farre and wide in the faid Counties, Carriers 
are to be had almoft daily at the faid Inne, but efpecially on thurf- 
daies and fridaies. 

The Carriers from Chillington, VVeJlrum, Penborough, Slenge, 
Wrotham, and other parts of Kent, Suffex, and Surrey, doe lodge at 
the Kings head in Southwarke, they doe come on thurfdayes, and 
they goe on fridayes. 

Every weeketherecommethandgoeth from Tunbridge in Kent 
a Carrier that lodgeth at the Greene Dragon in fowle Lane in 
Southwarke, neere the Meale-market. 

Herefollowethcertaine directions for to findoutShips,Barkes, 
Hoyghs, and Paffage Boats, that doe come to London, from 
the mojl parts and places, byfea, within the Kings Domini- 
ons, either of England, Scotland or Ireland. 

AHoigh doth come from Colchejler in Effex, to Smarts key, 
neere Billingfgate, by which goods may bee carried from 
London to Colchejler weekly. 

He that will fend to Ipfwich in Suffolk, or Linn in Northfolke, 
let him goe to Dice key, and there his turne may be ferved. 

The Ships from Kingjlon upon Hull (or Hull) in Yorkejhire do 
come to Raphs Key, and to Porters key. 

At Galleykey, for men, and Carriage for Goods may bee 
had from London to Barwicke. 

At Chejlers key, fhipping may be had from Ireland, from Poole 
from Plimouth, from Dartmouth and Weimouth. 

At Sabbs Docke, a Hoigh or Barke is to be had from Sandwich 
or Dover in Kent. 

A Hoigh from Rochejler, Margate in Kent, or Fever/ham and 
Maydjlon doth come to S 4 Katherines Dock. 



A ffteedy way 

S Hipping from Scotland are to bee found at the Armitage or 
Hermitage below S 4 Katherines. 

From Dunkirk at the cuftome houfe key. 

From moft parts of Hollandor Zealand,Ym\aes or fhipping may 
be had at the Brewhoufes in S* Katherines. 

At Lion key, twice (almoft in every 24. houres, or continually 
are Tydeboats, or Wherries that paffe to and fro betwixt London 
and the townes of Deptford, Greenwich, Woolwich, Erith, and 
Greenhith in Kent, and alfo boats are to be had that every Tyde 
doe carry goods and pa{kngersbetwixtLondonandRainafn,Pur- 
fleet, and Grayes in Effex. 

At Billinfgate, are every Tyde to be had Barges, lighthorfmen 
Tiltboats and Wherries, from London to the Townes of Graves- 
end and Milton in Kent, or to any other place within the faid 
bounds, and (as weather and occafions may ferve beyond, or 

London,andbackagain thither 'Eaflor Weft above LondonBridge. 

TO Bull Wharfe (neere Queenhithe) there doth come and goe 
great boats twice or thrice every weeke, which boats doe 
cary goods betwixt London and Kingjlon upon Thames, alfo thi- 
ther doth often come a Boat from Colebrooke, which ferveth thofe 
parts for fuch purpofes. 

Great Boats that doe carry and Recarry Paffengers and goods 
to and fro betwixt London and the Townes of Maydenhead, 
Wind/or, Stanes, Chertfey, with other parts in the Counties of Sur- 
ry, Barkejhire, Midlefex, and Buckingamjhire, do come every Mun- 
day, and thurfday to Queenhith, and they doe goe away upon 
tuefdayes and thufdaies. 

The Redding Boat is to be had at Queenhith weekly. 

All thofe that will fend letters to the moft parts of the habita- 
ble world, or to any parts of our King of Great Britaines Domi- 
nions, let them repaire to the Generall Poft-Mafter Thomas Wi- 
thering at his houfe in Sherburne Lane, neere Abchurch. 




Drinke and welcome. 

[Hazlitt, No. 59.J 

Drinke and welcome: 



of the moll part of Drinks, in life 

now in the Kingdomes of Great ' Brit t aim 

and Ireland; with an efpeciall declaration 

of the potency, vertue, and operation 

of our EngliJJi Ale. 

With a defcription of all forts of Waters, from the 
Ocean fea, to the teares of a Woman. 

As alfo, 

The caufes of all forts of weather, faire or foule, 

Sleet, Raine, Haile, Froft, Snow, Fogges, Mifts, 

Vapours, Clouds, Stormes, Windes, 

Thunder and Lightning. 

Compiled firft in the high Dutch tongue, by the 

painefull and induftrious Huldricke Van Speagle, a 

Grammaticall Brewer of Lttbeck, and now moft Learnedly 

enlarged, amplified, and Tranflated into Englifli 

Profe and Verfe. 

By Iohn Taylor. 

Printed by Anne Griffin, i 637. 

T H H 


of the moft part of Drinks, in ufe 

now in the Kingdomes oiGreat Brittaine 

and Ireland) with an efpeciall declaration 

of the potency, vertue, and operation 

of our Englijli ALE. 

Compiled firft in the high Dutch tongue, by the 

painefull and induftrious Huldricke Van Speagle, a 

Gramaticall Brewer of Lubeck, and now moft Learnedly 

enlarged, amplified, and Tranflated into Englilh 

By Iohn Taylor. 

Huldrick Van Speagle, doe inge- 
nioufly confeffe my boldneffe, and 
crave pardon of the Brittains and 
Jrijh Nation ; for that I ( being a 
ftranger) have prefumed to write 
of fuch Drinkes as are Potable in 
their Climates and Countries; with 
fuch particularities of their Origi- 
nals and vertues, as I have by expe- 
rience and pra&ife, with my colle- 
ctions out of divers learned Authors 
gathered. I purpofe not to infift in a methodicall way, but accor- 
ding to my quality in a plaine and briefe Relation. 

A 2 It 

Drinke and welcome, 

It is not unknowne to men of any reading, that this Hand 
which hath now regaind it's ancient name of Great Brittaine, was 
by Brute inhabited by the remainders of fome fcattered and dif- 
perfed Trojans : the drinkes they ufed in their beft and worft of 
fortunes after their plantation here , are obferved to bee thefe ; 
Syder, Perry, Metheglin, Mead, Bragget, Pomperkin, and chiefely, 
though laftly, Ale, with its appendix Beere. Of which in order. 


SYder ( whofe Anagram is Defyr) defires and deferves the firft 
place, as being the moft ancient : it is made of Apples , and 
is of that antiquity , that it is thought by fome to have beene in- 
vented and made by Eve, and afterwards pradtifed by Cain, who 
by the making of it in the time of his vagrancy, got a very com- 
petent eftate. Certainely it was a moft frequent and ufuall drinke 
amongft the Trojans, and was with the remainder of that Nation, 
firft brought into this Hand : It is called Syder a Sydera; (as the 
Dictionary tels me) of the Starres, whofe influence in thofe Hea- 
thenifh times was much invoked in the compofure of that moft 
excellent liquor , whereof my native Country of the County of 
Glocejlerjhire moft plentifully flowes ; It doth much refrigerate 
and qualifie the inward heat of man, it is alfo very purgative, and 
cleanfeth the fmall guts of all vifcous humours, and is much me- 
liorated by the addition of Sugar, in which way being taken 
the pooreft' cottage in Wales that affords it, outvies the Stillyard, 
and the men of that Countrey may without blufhing ( their ordi- 
nary vertue) paralell it with the glory of the Rhine. 


PErry is more Aromaticke, being made of Peares, from whence 
it feemes to have its Appellation: there is much difagreement 
amongft ancient and moderne Writers about the antiquity, origi- 
nall, and derivation of the name of it ; Gorbonus the Lacedemonian 
faies, it was firft made in Syria by one Pericles. Trappoza (a moft 
learned Theban) afcribes it to one Periander: Nimpjhagg will have 
it from Perfepolis a City in Perfia : but fome Brittains will, that de- 
fire to vindicate the Antiquity of times, of one Parry, a Nephew to 
Cadwallader the great, the laft King of the Brittains, who was moft 
ftudious in the compofure of liquids of this nature. 


All Drinkes, and all Waters. 

Others would feeme to derive it from Perrue in America, who 
in regard of the luxuriant foyle , and falubrious ayre abounded 
wonderfully with Peares ; alleadging that Mangotapon one of 
the feven that hid themfelves in a cave, called Patticumbo, at that 
great deluge of the world, was at his comming forth (for he liv'd 
to come forth) the firft compounder of this drinke , which in ho- 
nour of his Country he then called Perrue. 

Amongft all thefe various opinions of forraigne Authors, com- 
mon experience tels us, that Worcejlerjhire is our Brittijh Magga 
zin, or plentifull ftore-houfe for Perry ; nor will I feeke further to 
difpute the poynt, the drinke being ufuall and equall with what 
hath beene faid before of Syder. It is very availeable in quen- 
ching of thirft, good againft obftru6lions of the liver and fpleene, 
and moft effedtuall againft contagious difeafes, by the opinion of 
the Brittifh Doftours, to whofe treatifes I referre the learned for 
larger inftruftions. 

Metheglin and Mead. 

MEtheglin, and Meade in regard of the coherence of their 
conditions, I may very well handle them together, with- 
out any difparagement to either ; how ever there bee fome pro- 
portion in their feverall compofitions , yet the maine Ingredient 
being Honey ftands allowable to both. The common appellation 
of the firft by the name of Mathew Glinn, ( although it feeme a 
Nick't name to the world ) is generally received by the Hiftory 
of Monmoth, to be the Authours name of this Mell fluous mix- 
ture ; for this Mathew dwelling in a Valley ( for fo the word 
Glinn imports Englifhed from the Welfh) being mafter of a very 
great ftocke of Bees, and wanting vent for the iffue of their la- 
bours, in an abundant yeare betooke himfelfe wholy to his ftudy, 
and being moft ingenious in things of this nature, in a fhort time 
he profited fo well, as out of his maternall or mother-wit, of him- 
felfe he perfected this rare compofure. This name being now in- 
geminated by the quotidian calls of his well difpofed Countrey- 
men, renders it vendible in the moft municipall Townes of thofe 
parts, at the rates of fix pence the quart, which is the moft predo- 
minant price of any of our homebred liquors. 
Concerning the vertues of it, it is to be held in moft extraordi- 

A 3 nary 


Drinke and welcome, 

nary regard, for it is purgative in refpe£t of the Mell (or Honey) 
and of fingular efficacy againft Tremor Cordis ; indeed the over- 
much taking of it is to a melancholicke man in the nature of an 
Opiate, and therefore to be refufed (if not taken with caution) 
by men of that conftitution. 

Mead or Meath. 

FOr Meade or Meath (as fome will have itj there are diverfe un- 
warrantable Authors that would wreft the originall and deri- 
vation of the name from Medufa, the inchantreffe, fome there are 
that the crewell Media was the inventor of it : but Padejh /helium 
Shagh, a learned Gimnofophift (whofe opinion I moft leane untoj 
in his ninth booke of Hidromancy, faith, that it was a drinke in 
ufe and potable by the Medes and Perfians in the firft erection of 
that Monarchy (from whence moft fignificantly it hath the name) 
and that a Brittifh Lord, a favourite of a Soldan there, firft 
brought it to thefe parts, the Receipt being freely beftowed upon 
him, for his efpeciall fervice ; in the beliefe of all which , I muft 
crave pardon, that I am not guilty, but I rather thinke it as an 
abftracT; from the former, however it hath fome feverall vertues, 
but in regard of the cheapneffe it is now growne contemptible, 
being altogether ecclipfed by the vertue of Metheglin. 


THe next to be handled is Braggot, a drinke in my opinion, 
not much beholding to antiquity, although fome extant wri- 
tings of the Barley avouch the receipt for the making of it to be 
fent over from the Emperour of the Eaft, to Liolin the great 
Prince of Wales. This drinke is of a moft hot nature, as being 
compos'd of Spices, and if it once fcale the fconce, and enter with- 
in the circumclufion of the Perricranion, it doth much accellerate 
nature , by whofe forcible atra<5tion and operation , the drinker 
(by way of diftribution) is eafily enabled to afford blowes to his 
brother ; it is hot in the third degree, in which refpecT: it is held 
medicinable, againft all cold difeafes of the Stomacke. 


THe fixt fort of Brittifh drinkes is Pomperkin, a drinke whofe 
originall was from Pomeranea (a Province in Germany) as 
fome writers relate. Some derive it from the Pomponii (a Noble 


All Drinkes, and all Waters. 

Roman family ) however Authors differ about it, it is not much 
materiall ; moil certaine it is that it is made of Apples, as the name 
of it imports ; being nothing but the Apples bruifed and beaten to 
mafh, with water put to them , which is a drinke of fo weake a 
condition that it is no where acceptable but amongft the Rujlicks 
and Plebeyans , being a heartleffe liquor much of the nature of 
Swillons in Scotland, or fmall Beere in England, fuch as is faid to 
be made of the warnings of the Brewers legges and aprons ; and I 
doe moft yeeld to their opinions that the firft Authour of Pomper- 
kin was Perkin Warbecke in the raigne of Henry the feventh, who 
in his private retirements and lurking holes, had occafion to pra- 
6life the thrifty making of this infufion. It is of an Hidropicall 
and Aquarian operation, the vigour of it doth feldome evaporate 
upward or afcend to the braine, and being it is likewife of a coroa- 
ding condition, yet the Brittijh bodies being well antidoted with 
their compounded Creame, Whig, Whey, and Butter-milke ; in 
their conftitutions it becomes matter of nutriment. 


HAving gone thus farre, it remaines that I fpeak fomething of 
what hath been, and now is ufed by the Englifh, as well fmce 
the Conqueft, as in time of the Brittains, Saxons, and Danes, (for 
the former recited drinks, are to this day confin'd to the Principa- 
lity) fo as we enjoy them onely by a ftatute called the courtefie of 
Wales. And to perfect my difcourfe in this I fhall onely induce 
them into two heads, viz. the unparaleld liquor called Ale, with 
his AbftracT: Beere ; whofe antiquity amongft a fort of Northerne 
pated fellowes is if not altogether contemptible, of very little e- 
fteeme ; this humour moved the fcurrilous pen of a fhameleffe 
writer in the raigne of King Henry the third , detraftingly to in- 
veigh againft this unequal'd liquor. Thus 

For muddy, foggy, fulfome, puddle, Jlinking, 
For all of thefe, Ale is the onely drinking. 

Of all Authours that I have ever yet read, this is the onely one 
that hath attempted to brand the glorious fplendor of that Ale- 
beloved deco&ion ; but obferve this fellow, by the perpetuall ufe 


Drinke and welcome, 

of water (which was his accuftomed drinke) he fell into fuch 
convulfion and lethargick difeafes, that he remained in opinion a 
dead man ; however the knowing Phyficians of that time, by the 
frequent and inward application of Ale, not onely recovered him 
to his priftine eftate of health, but alfo enabled him in body and 
braine for the future, that he became famous in his writings, which 
for the moft part were afterwards fpent with moil Aleoquent and 
Alaborate commendation of that Admired and moft fuperexcellent 

Some there are that affirme that Ale was firft invened by Alex- 
ander the Great , and that in his conquefts this liquor did infufe 
much vigour and valour into his fouldiers. Others fay that famous 
Phyfician of Piemont (named Don Alexis) was the founder of it. 
But it is knowne that it was of that Angular vfe in the time of the 
Saxons that none were allowed to brew it but fuch whofe places 
and qualities were moft eminent : infomuch that we finde that one 
of them had the credit to give the name of a Saxon Prince, who in 
honour of that rare quality, he called Alia. Some Aleadge that 
it being our drinke when our Land was called Albion, that it had 
the name of the Countrey : Twifcus in his Euphorbium will have 
it from Albania, or Epirus, Wolfgang Plafhendorph of Guflen- 
burg, faies that Aleclo (one of the three furies) gave the receipt of 
it to Albumazer a Magician, and he (having Aliance with Aladine 
the Soldan at Aleppo) firft brewed it there, whereto may be Aleu- 
ded, the ftory how Alphonfus of Scicily, fent it from thence to the 
battell of Alcazor. My Authour is of Anaxagoras opinion, that 
Ale is to be held in high price for the nutritive fubftance that it is 
indued withall, and how precious a nurfe it is in generall to Man- 

It is true that the overmuch taking of it doth fo much exhile- 
rate the fpirits, that a man is not improperly faid to be in the Ale- 
titude ( obferve the word I pray you, and all the words before or 
after,) for you fhal finde their firft fyllable to be Ale, and fome wri- 
ters are of opinion that the Turkifh Alcaron was invented by Ma- 
homet out of fuch furious raptures as^&infpir'd him withall; fome 
affirme Bacchus (Alias Liber Pater) was the firft Brewer of it, a- 
mong the Indians, who being a ftranger to them they named 


All Drinkes, arid all Waters. 

it Ale, as brought to them by an Alien; in a word, Somnus altus 
fignifies dead fleepe: Quies a/la, Great reft; Altus and Alta noble 
and excellent: It is (for the moil part) extracted out of the fpirit 
of a Graine called Barley, which was of that eftimation amongft 
the ancient Galles that their Prophets (whom they called Bardi) 
ufed it in their moft important prophefies and ceremonies : This 
Graine, after it had beene watred and dryed, was at firft ground. in 
a Mill in the Jfland of Malta, from whence it is fuppofed to gaine 
the name of Malt ; but I take it more proper from the word 
Malleolus, which fignifies a Hammer or Maule, for Hanniball 
(that great Carthaginian Captaine) in his fixteene yeeres warres 
againft the Romanes, was called the Maule of Italie, for it is con- 
jectured that he vidtorioufly Mauld them by reafon that his Army 
was daily refrefhed with the fpiritefull Elixar of Mault. 

It holds very fignificant to compare a man in the Aletitude to be 
in a planetarie height ; for in a Planet, the Altitude is his motion 
in which he is carried from the lowed place of Heaven or from 
the Center of the Earth, into the moft higheft place, or unto the 
top of his Circle, and then it is faid to be in Apogceo, that is the moft 
Tranfcendent point of all, fo the Sublunarie of a ftupified Spirit, 
being elevated by the efficacious vigour of this uncontroleable 
vertue, renders him moft capeable for high aftions. 

I mould be voluminous, if I mould infift upon all pertinent 
and impertinent paflages in the behalfe of Ale, as alfo of the re- 
tentive fame that Yorke, Chejler, Hull, Nottingham, Darby, Gravef- 
end, with a Toafte, and other Countries ftill enjoy, by making 
this untainted liquor in the primitive way, and how Wind/or 
doth more glory in that Compofition than all the reft of her fpe- 
culative pleafures, which is dayly ftrengthened by the Agitive 
endeavours of the moft pregnant fpirits there, whofe fuperlative 
iffue affords us a quotidian expectation, and queftionleffe cannot 
but fucceed with generall applaufe in regard of the undertakers ; 
Alfo there is a Towne neere Margate in Kent, fin the Ifle of 
Thanett) called Northdowne, which Towne hath ingroft much 
Fame, Wealth, and Reputation from the prevalent potencie of 
their Atraftive Ale. 

I will onely now fpeake fomewhat of its vertues, and in the 

B weake- 


Drinke and welcome, 

weakeneffe of my expreffions fhall crave pardon, of thofe many 
and learned Dottors of our Time, whofe daily and guftave Ap- 
probation addes to the glorious Splendour of that unequall'd 

Concerning the fructifying or fruitfulneffe of Ale, it is almoft 
incredible, for twice every yeere there is a Faire at a fmall Towne 
called Kimbolton, or Kimolton in North-hamptonfhire, (as I take 
itj in which towne there are but 38. houfes, which at the Faire 
time are encreafed to 39. Alehoufes, for an old woman and her 
daughter doe on thofe dayes divide there one houfe into two, 
fuch is the operation and encreafing power of our Englifh Ale. 

Firft then, it is a fingular remedy againffc all melancholick dif- 
eafes, Tremor cordis, and Maladies of the fpleene, it is purgative 
and of great operation againft Iliaca pajfio, and all gripings of the 
fmall guts, it cures the ftone in the Bladder, Reines or Kidneyes, 
and provokes Vrin wonderfully, it mollifies Tumors and fwel- 
lings in the body, and is very predominant in opening the obftru- 
6lions of the Liver. It is moil effedtuall for clearing of the fight, 
being applied outwardly, it affwageth the unfufferable paine of 
the Gowt called Artichicha Podagra, or Gonogra, the Yeaft or 
Barme being laid hot to the part pained, in which way it is eafe- 
full to all Impoftumes or the paine in the Hippe called Sciatica 
pajfio ; Indeed the immoderate taking of it (as of the beft things) 
is not commended, for in fome it caufes fwimming in the head and 
Vertigo, (but I fpeake ftill of moderation) in which refpe6l it is 
not onely availeable for the caufes aforefaid, but for all defluxions 
and Epidemicall difeafes whatfoever, and being Butter'd (as our 
Gallenifts well obferve) it is good againft all Contagious difea- 
fes, Feavers, Agues, Rhumes, Coughes and Catarres with Hernia 
Aquofa &■ ventofa. 

I might proceed to nominate the Townes of the Kingdome 
that have their happineffe to enjoy their names from Ale, Alef- 
foord, in HampJJiire, and Alesbury (ox Aylesbury) in Buckingham- 
Jltire, Where the making of Aleberries fo excellent againft Hec- 
ticks was firft invented. As alfo of many Sirnames of great worth 
in this Kingdome, as thefe of Ale-iff, Ale-worth, Good-ale, Penny- 
A le, and in Scotland, the generous and antient name of Lamfd- 


All drinks and all waters. 

Ale, but not to infill further, in this ftraine, I make no queflion, 
but the Capacious apprehenfion of a free underflanding will fpare 
me that labour. 

I will therefore fhut up all with that admirable conclufion in- 
filled upon in our time by a difcreet Gentleman in a folemne Af- 
fembly, who, by a politick obfervation, very aptly compares Ale 
and Cakes with Wine and Wafers, neither doth he hold it fit that 
it mould Hand in Competition with the meaneft Wines, but with 
that moll excellent Compofition which the Prince of Phyfitians 
Hippocrates had fo ingenuouily compounded for the prefervation 
of mankinde, and which (to this day) fpeakes the Author by the 
name of Hippocras, fo that you fee for Antiquity, Ale was famous 
amongft the Troians, Brittaines, Romans, Saxons, Danes, Nor- 
mans, Englijh men, Welch, befides in Scotland, from the highell 
and Noblell Palace to the poorelt or meaneft Cottage, Ale is uni- 
verfall, and for Vertue it Hands allowable with the bell receipts 
of the moll Antienteft Phyfitians ; and for its fingular force in ex- 
pulfion of poifon is equall, if not exceeding that rare Antidote fo 
ferioufly invented by the Pontique King, which from him (till this 
time,) carries his name of Mithridate. And laftly, not onely ap- 
proved by a Nationall Affembly, but more exemplarily remon- 
ftrated by the frequent ufe of the moll knowing Phyfitians, who 
for the wonderfull force that it hath againfl all the difeafes of the 
Lungs, Juftly allow the name of a Pulmonijl to every Alcbrewer. 

The further I feeke to goe the more unable I finde my felfe to 
expreffe the wonders (for fo I may very well call them,) operated 
by Ale, for that I fhall abruptly conclude, in confideration of 
mine owne infufnciency, with the fagge-end of an old mans old 
will, who gave a good fumme of mony to a Red-fac'd Ale-drinker, 
who plaid upon a Pipe and Tabor, which was this : 

To make your Pipe and Tabor keepe their found, 
And dye your Crimjon tincture more profound, 
There growes no better med'cine on the ground, 
Than Aleano ( if it may be found) 
To buy which drug, I give a hundred pound, 

B 2 Ale 


Drinke and welcome, 

Ale is rightly called Nappy, for it will fet a nap upon a mans 
threed bare eyes when he is fleepy. It is called Merry-goe-downe, 
for it Aides downe merrily ; It is fragrant to the fent ; It is mod 
pleafing to the tajle ; The fiowring and mantling of it (like Che- 
quer workej with the Verdant fmiling of it, is delightfull to the 
fight, it is Touching or Feeling to the Braine and Heart ; and (to 
pleafe the fenfes all) it provokes men to ringing and mirth, which 
is contenting to the Hearing. The fpeedy taking of it doth com- 
fort a heavy and troubled minde ; it will make a weeping widow 
laugh and forget forrow for her deceafed husband ; It is truly ter- 
med the fpirit of the Buttry ( for it puts fpirit into all it enters,) 
It makes the footmans Head and heeles fo light, that he feemes to 
flie as he runnes ; It is the warmeft lineing of a naked mans Coat, 
(that's a Bull) It fatiates and affwageth hunger and cold ; with 
a Toafte it is the poore mans comfort, the Shepheard, Mower, 
Plowman, Labourer and Blackfmiths moft efteemed purchafe; It 
is the Tinkers treafure, the Pedlers Jewell, the Beggers Joy, and 
the Prifoners loving Nurfe ; it will whet the wit fo fharp, that it 
will make a Carter talke of matters beyond his reach ; It will fet 
a Bafhfull fuiter a woing; It heates the chill blood of the Aged; It 
will caufe a man to fpeake paft his owne or any others mans capa- 
city, or understanding ; It fets an edge upon Logick and Rhetc- 
rick ; It is a friend to the Mufes ; It infpires the poore Poet, that 
cannot compaffe the price of Canarieox Gafcoigne; It mounts the 
Mufitian bove Eela; It makes the Balladmaker Rime beyond 
Reafon, It is a Repairer of a decaied Colour in the face ; It puts 
Eloquence into the Oratour ; It will make the Philofopher talke 
profoundly, the Scholler learnedly, and the Lawyer Acute and 
feelingly. Ale at Whitfontide, or a Whitfon Church Ale, is a Re- 
pairer of decayed Countrey Churches ; It is a great friend to 
Truth, for they that drinke of it (to the purpofe) will reveale all 
they know, be it never fo fecret to be kept; It is an Embleme of 
Juftice, for it allowes and yeelds meafure ; It will put courage 
into a Coward, and make him fwagger and fight ; It is a feale to 
many a good Bargaine. The Phyfitian will commend it; the 
Lawyer will defend it, It neither hurts, or kils, any but thofe that 
abufe it unmeafurably and beyond bearing ; It doth good to as 


All Drinks and all Waters. 

many as take it rightly; It is as good as a paire of Spe6lacles to 
cleare the eyefight of an old parifh Clarke; and in Conclufion, it is 
fuch a nourifher of Mankinde, that if my mouth were as bigge as 
Bifhopfgate, my Pen as long as a Maypole, and my Inke a flowing 
fpring, or a ftanding fifhpond, yet I could not with Mouth, Pen, 
or Inke, fpeake or write the true worth and worthineffe of Ale. 


NOw, to write of Beere, I fhall not need to wet my pen much 
with the naming of it, It being a drinke which Antiquitie 
was an Aleien, or a meere ftranger to, and as it hath fcarcely any 
name, fo hath it no habitation, for the places or houfes where it is 
fold doth ftill retaine the name of An Alehoufe; but if it were 
a Beere-houfe, (or fo called) yet it muft have an Inferiour ftile of 
houf-roome than An Alehoufe; for An is the name of many a good 
woman, and the name An cannot be properly given to a Beere- 
Brewer, or Beere-houfe ; for to fay An Beere Brewer or An Beere 
houfe is ridiculous ; but An A /^-Brewer or An Alehoufe is good 
fignificant Englifh; or to fay An Beere brewer or An Beerehoufe 
or (by your favour An TaverneJ is but botching language in 
great Brittaine ; but to fay A Alebrewer or A Alehoufe, is more im- 
proper than to bid a childe A A in his Chaire, when there is nei- 
ther Chaire or fhoole. 

This comparifon needs a Sir Reverence to Vfher it, but being 
Beere is but an Upftart and a foreigner or Alien, in refpe<5t of Ale, 
it may ferve in ftead of a better; Nor would it differ from Ale in 
any thing, but onely that an Afyinng Amaritudinous Hop comes 
crawling lamely in, and makes a Bitter difference betweene them 
but if the Hop be fo cripled that he cannot be gotten to make the 
oddes, the place may poorely bee fupply'd with chop'd Broome 
(new gathered) whereby Beere hath never attained the fober Ti- 
tle of Ale, for it is proper to fay A Stand of Ale, and a Hogges 
Head of Beere, which in common fenfe is but a fwinifh Phrafe or 

Indeede Beere, by a Mixture of Wine, it enjoyes approbation 
amongft fome few (that hardly underftand wherefore) but then it 
is no longer Beere, but hath loft both Name and Nature, and is 
called Balderdafh, (an Utopian denomination) and fo like a petty 

B 3 Brooke 


Drinke and welcome, 

Brooke running into a great ftream loofes it felfe in his owne cut- 
rent, the legges being wafh'd with the weaker or fmallcr fort of 
it, is contemptuoufly called Rotgut ; and is thought by fome to 
be very medicinable to cure the Scurvie. The ftronger Beere is 
divided into two parts {viz.) mild and ftale ; the firft may eafe a 
man of a drought, but the later is like water caft into a Smiths 
forge, and breeds more heartburning, and as ruft eates into Iron, 
fo overftale Beere gnawes auletholes in the entrales, or elfe my skill 
failes, and what I have written of it is to be held as a jeft. 

I have now performed my promife, yet cannot fo ceafe, being 
much defirous to fpeak fomething of a forraigne Element, which in 
fome fort feemes to obfcure the glory of all the forenamed drinks; 
and is knowne to us by the name of Sack, which appellation was 
atchieved by derivation from Don sago, a Spaniard of the Province 
of Andaloivfia, who was the firft difcoverer of this Caftilian El- 

But herein (as before) I fhall but loofe my felfe the fubjecl be- 
ing moft excellently handled, tafted, and well rellifhed both in 
verfe and profe, efpecially in that late Illufhration of Arifiippus, 
in which refpect onely it is held fit that Cambridge fhould precede 


SAck is no hippocrite, for any man that knowes what an Ana- 
gram is, will confeffe that it is contained within the litterall 
letters and limmits of its owne name, which is (to fay) a Cask. Sack 
then containes it felfe, (except it be drawne out) within its enclo- 
fed bounds, like Diogenes, in his Tun ; yet Sack (overmuch drawne 
and exceffively abufed) hath drawne the abufers of it into many 
abufes and dammages, for Tangrophilax, a learned Lybian Geogra- 
pher of our time, affirmes that it fumes into the head , though it 
well pleafes the palate, yet nevertheleffe that it helpes the naturall 
weakneffe of a cold ftomacke more than any other wine whatfoe- 
ver. The old ancient Poets onely write of Helicon, Tempe, Aga- 
nippe, the Pegafean fountaine, the Thefpian fpring, The Mufes well 
and abundance of other unknowne rich invifible bleffings ; But 
our age approves that Sack is the beft lineing or living for a good 
Poet, and that it enables our moderne writers, to verfifie moft 


All Drinkes, and all Waters. 

ingenioufly, without much cudgelling their headpieces ( a thing 
very much ufed in the pumpers for wit ) whereby they get fome 
portion of credit, a great proportion of windy applaufe, but for 
money, &c. For mine owne part, I do not, nor will drinke any of it, 
which is the reafon that my verfes want vigour, but if I could but 
endure to wafh my midriffe in Sack, as the moft grave Mufehunters 
Hexametrians, Pentametrians , Daflylians and Spondeians doe ; 
I mould then reach with my Invention above the Altitude of the 
39. fphere, and dive 50. fathom below the profundity of the de- 
peft Barrathrum : The troth is, I have no reafon to love Sack, for 
it made me twice a Rat in Woodftreet Counter-trap : befides 
where other wines have fcarce ftrength to make me drunke (as I 
may take them) Sack hath the power to make me mad, which made 
me leave it. 

Yet for the vertues that are in mine enemy, I muft and will give 
due commendations ; therefore I will give a touch at fome things 
which is praifeworthy in this Iberian, Cajlilian, Canarian, Sherri- 
an, Mallaganian, Robolonian, Robdauian, Peterfeamian. 

Is any man oppreft with crudities in his ftomacke , fo that it 
takes away all appetituall defire, infomuch that the fight of meat 
is a fecond fickneffe to him? let that man drinke Sack, the cure fol- 
lowes beyond beliefe: Is any man Ingurgitated , fo that he is in 
the condition of a ftrong furfeit? let that man drinke .Sa^too; the 
remedy is fudden indeed to a poynt of wonder or admiration. Is 
any man fo much out of the favour of Elous, that he is fhort-win- 
ded, or that his voice or fpeech failes him, let him drinke Sack, 
(as it may be taken) it fhall make him capable to vent words and 
fpeake beyond meafure: Doth any man (for the clearing of his fto- 
macke) defire a vomit? let him take a quantity of Sack, and by the 
operation of the fame it fhall be effected ; So that we may juftly 
fay that Sack is a fecond nature to man, and that the Phyficians 
well knew, when they confinde it to the Apothecaies fhops (which 
was not till neere the end of King Henry the eights Raigne, about 
the yeare 1543; and in King Edward 'the fixts firft and fecond yeare 
1548.) till which time none but the Apothecaries had the honour 
to fell Sack, and that was onely for medicine, and for ficke folkes : 
but though now it be more difperfed into Great mens houfes and 


Drinke mid welcome, 

Vintners cellars, yet it hath obtained no abfolute freedome to this 
day, for in the manfions or dwellings of many that keepe the fai- 
reft houfes, the Mannagement and tuition of Sack is to fome lewd 
(ill natur'd, or nurtur'd) yeoman of the Winecellar, whereby it is 
too often adulterated , and alfo brought to fuch an aftringencie, 
brought to fuch points of mortification , that it is impoffible it 
fhould ever be worthy to gaine the approbation of a Wine-vinegar 
man, and it were heartily to be wifh'd that this enormious abufe 
were punifhed by the vertue of a Dog-whip. 

A word or two for example, and I fhall conclude: Lucius Pifo 
that great Generall that conquered Thrace, was wonderfully gi- 
ven to the drinking of Sack, infomuch that he was oftentimes car- 
ried from the Senate houfe ; and it was fo farre from being an im- 
peachment to his honour, that nevertheleffe Auguftus Cmfar 
committed to him the charge, care, and truft of the moft fecret af- 
faires of State , and never had any caufe to be difcontented with 
him .• the like we read of Tiberius and Caffus ; and as faithfully 
was the plot and purpofe to kill Cafar, fin the Senate) committed 
unto Cimber (who dranke nothing but Sack,) as unto CaJJius who 
dranke nothing but Water; and certaine I am that the Yerfians, after 
their drinking of Sack, were wont to confult of their chiefeft and 
moft ferious ftate-bufineffes : and Cyrus, (that fo farre and fa- 
mous a renowned King ) among his other high praifes and com- 
mendations, meaning to preferre himfelfe before his brother Ar- 
taxerxes, and get the ftart of him, alleageth the caufe of his being 
victorious over him to bee chiefly becaufe he could drinke more 
Sack than he. 

I commend not intemperance in all thefe allegations, the Rea- 
der may pleafe to Remember my former teft for moderation, and 
Sack, being fo taken , will be to the moderate taker a comfort a- 
gainft cares and croffes, and fo with Iuvenals words in his foure- 
teenth fatire I fhut up all ; 

Thoujhalt be from difeafe and weaknejfe free, 
From mone,from care, long time of life to thee 
Shall by more friendly fate afforded be: 
Drinke Sack therefore if you I be rul'd by me. 



fS& tf& &3 **> ^- *"& *& 




! W#S$^$W 

Here followeth, a laborious and 

effectual! difcourfe, in praifeof the Element of 

all Waters frefh and fait, with their opperation ; 

with a touch of the caufes of all forts of weather, 

faire and foule. 

That of Earth was made, yet no earth have, 
No not fo much as may afford a grave: ('twine 
For when that death my lives thred fhall un- 
I have no buriall in a ground that's mine : 
Of all the Elements, the Earth is worft ; 
Becaufe for Adams finne it was accurft : 

Therefore no parcell of it will I buy 

But on the Water for reliefe relie. 

When as mans crying crimes in volleyes flew 

To Heaven, and Heavens high vengeance downeward drew : 

Then Water all the World did overrunne, 

And plagu'd th' abufes that on Earth were done. 

From fhowres of Water, rain'd from Skies to Earth, 

Spring, Sommer, Harveft, Winter have their birth. 

For Water is the Milke of Heaven, whereby 

All things are nurs'd, increafe and multiply. 

The oldeft and moft grave Aftronomers, 

The learned'ft and moft fage Philofophers 

Doe hold, that in the higheft Altitude 

A fpheare of Water is, in Amplitude 

Envelloping all other Orbs and Spheres, 

With all the Planets fwift and flow careares, 

Even as the Sea the Earth doth compaffe round, 

The Water fo the Firmament doth bound. 

Should I of Water write, but what it is, 

C I fiiould 


Drinke and ivelcome, 

I mould be drowned in my Theames Abyffe : 

And therefore Fie but dabble, wade, and wafh, 

And here and there both give, and take a dafh. 

In bleft Records it truely is approv'd, 

That Gods bleft Spirit upon the Waters mov'd .• 

Then All things were involved in the Waters, 

All earthly, Airie, and all firie matters : 

Vntill th' Almighty (whofe workes all are wonders) 

With faying {Let there be) the Chaos funders. 

Of a confus'd lump, voyd of forme and fafhion, 

He fpake, and gave the world its faire creation. 

And as at firft the Waters compaft all 

The Chaos, or worlds univerfall Ball. 

So ftill, of all the workes of God, moft glorious 

The water was, is, and will be victorious. 

It doth furmount the Ayre, the fire it quenches 

With Inundations it the Earth bedrenches : 

The Fire may burne a houfe, perhaps a Towne, 

But water can a Province fpoyle and drowne : 

And Ayre may be corrupted, and from thence, 

A Kingdome may be plagu'd with peftilence : 

Where many die, old, young, fome great, fome fmall, 

But water flouds plaies fweep-ftake with them all. 

Earth may be barren, and not yeeld her ftore : 

Yet may fhe feed the rich, and ftarve the poore. 

But Earth in triumph over all ner'e rid, 

As in the Diluge once the Waters did. N 

Warre may make noyfe with Gunnes and ratling Drums, 

But Water, where it comes, it overcomes. 

Thus Earth, nor Ayre, nor Fire, nor rumbling Warre, 

Nor plague, or peftilence, nor famine are 

Of powre to winne, where Water but commands, 

As witneffe may the watry Netherlands. 

Concerning Merchandife, and tranfportation, 

Commerce and traffique, and negotiation, 

To Make each Countrie have by Navigation 

The Goods, and Riches of each others Nation. 


All drinks and all waters. 

Commodities in free community, 

Embaffages for warre or unity : 

Thefe bleffings, by the Sea, or fome frefh River 

Are given to us, by the All-giving Giver. 

And in the vafty and unmeafur'd roome 

Of Neptunes Regiment, or Thetis wombe, 

Are almoft fhapes and formes of all the things 

Which in the Earth, or Ayre, or dies, or fprings. 

Ther'e Fifties like to Sunne or Moone, and Starres, 

Fowles of the Ayre, and weapons for the Warres, 

Beafts of the Field, and Plants and Flowers there, 

And Fifties made like Men and Women are. 

All inftruments for any Art or Trade, 

In living formes of Fifties there are made. 

This is approv'd, if any man will feeke 

In the firft day of Bartas his firft weeke, 

Heaven hath ordain'd the watry Element 

To be a Seale and facred Sacrament, 

Which doth in Baptifme us regenerate, 

And man againe with God doth renovate. 

And as it in the Laver fmyfticall) 

Doth cleanfe us from our finne originall .• 

So for our corp'rall ufes 'tis moft meete 

To wafh our cloathes, and keepe us cleane and fweet. 

Wer't not for Water thus we plainelie fee, 

No Beaft on Earth more beaftly were than wee. 

Our felves with naftineffe our felves ftiould fmother, 

Or with our owne ftench poyfon one another. 

It keepes our veffels cleane to dreffe our meate, 

It ferves to cleanfe and boile the meate we eate. 

It makes our houfes hanfome, neate and cleane, 

(Or elfe the mayd is but a fluttifh queane) 

Thus Water boyles, parboyles, and mundifies. 

Cleares, cleanfes, clarifies, and purifies. 

But as it purges us from filth and ftincke ; 

We muft remember that it makes us drinke, 

Metheglin, Bragget, Beere, and headftrong Ale, 

C 2 That 


Drinke and welcome, 

(That can put colour in a vifage pale) 
By which meanes many Brewers are growne Rich, 
And in eftates may foare a lofty Pitch, 
Men of Good Ranke and place, and much command 
Who have (by fodden Water) purchaft land : 
Yet fure I thinke their gaine had not been fuch 
Had not good fellowes vs'de to drinke too much ; 
But wifely they made hay whilft Sunne did fhine, 
For now our Land is overflowne with wine : 
With fuch a Deluge, or an Inundation 
As hath befotted and halfe drown'd our Nation. 
Some that are fcarce worth 40 pence a yeere 
Will hardly make a meale with Ale or Beere : 
And will difcourfe, that wine doth make good blood, 
Concofts his meat, and make digeftion good, 
And after to drinke Beere, nor will, nor can 
He lay a Churle upon a Gentleman. 
Thus Bacchus is ador'd and deifide, 
And We Hifpanializ'd and Frenchifide : 
Whilft Noble Native Ale, and Beeres hard fate 
Are like old Almanacks, Quite out of Date ; 
Thus men confume their credits and their wealths, 
And fwallow fickneffes, in drinking healths, 
Untill the fury of the fpritefull Grape 
Mounts to the braine, and makes a man an Ape, 
A Sheepe, Goate, Lion, or a Beaftly fwine, 
He fnores, befoyl'd with vomit and much Wine. 
At Good mens Boords, where oft I eate good cheere, 
I finde the Brewer honeft in his Beere. 
He fels it for fmall Beere, and he fhould cheate, 
In ftead of fmall to cofen folks with Greate. 
But one fhall feldome find them with that fault, 
Except it fhould invifibly raine Mault. 
O Tapfters, Tapfters all, lament and cry, 
, Or defp'rately drinke all the Tavernes dry : 
For till fuch time as all the Wine is gone, 
Your are bewitch'd, and guefts you fhall have none. 


All Drinks and all Waters. 

Then to the Tavernes hye you every man .• 

In one day drinke foure Gallons, if you can, 

And with that tricke (within a day or twaine) 

I thinke there will but little Wine remaine. 

Your hopes to hoppes returne againe will be, 

And you once more the golden age will fee. 

But hold, I feare my Mufe is mad or drunke, 

Or elfe my wits are in the wetting fhrunk : 

To Beere and Ale my love hath fome relation 

Which made me wander thus beyond my ftation. 

Good Reader be my Prieft, I make confeffion, 

I pray thee pardon me, my long digreffion. 

From Beere and Wine to water now a while, 

I meane to metamorphofe backe my ftile. 

Wer't not for Water, fure the Dyers would die, 

Becaufe they wanted wherewithall to dye. 

Coft would be loft, and labour be in vaine, 

'Tis Water that muft helpe to die in Graine. 

They could then feare no colours, it is cleare, 

Want water, and there will be none to feare. 

The Fifhmongers, (a worthy Company) 

If Water did not ftill their Trade fupply, 

They would be Tradefalne, and quite downe be trod, 

Nor worth the head or braine-pan of a Cod. 

Then Lent and Ember-weekes would foone be fhotten, 

All fafting daies would quickly be forgotten : 

Carthufian Friers, in fuperftitious Cloyfters 

Would want their fttirring Cockles, Crabs and Oyfters : 

And Catholicks turne Puritanes ftraight way, . 

And nevermore keepe Lent or fafting day. 

But leaving Neptune, and his Trumping Triton, 

Of other Waters now I meane to write on, 

(Exhal'd by Pkcebus from the Ocean maine) 

Of Clowdes, of mifty Fogs, all forts of Raine, 

Of Dew, of Frofts, of Haile, of Ice of Snow 

Which falls, and turnes to water here below, 

Of Snow and Raine, as they together meet 

C 3 Well 

Drinke and welcome, 

Well mingled in the Ayre, are called Sleet. 

Of Springs, of petty Rils, of Chryftall Founts, 

Of Streamelets here my merry Mufe recounts ; 

Of Foordes, of Brookes, of Rivers, Lakes and Bournes; 

Of Creekes, of Ebbes and flouds, and their returnes, 

Of Gulphs, ponds, Whirlpooles, Puddles, Ditches, Pooles, 

Of Moates, of Bathes, fome hot, and fome that cooles, 

Of Waters, bitter, fweet, frefh, fait, hot, cold, 

Of all their operations manifold ; 

Thefe ( if I can ) I'le mention with my Pen 

And laft of Urin and ftrong Watermen. 

0/ Clouds. A Cloud's a Vapour, which is cold and moyft, 

Which from the Earth, or Sea, the Sunne doth hoyft 

Into the middle Region of the Ayre, 

And is (by extreame cold) congealed there, 

Untill at laft, it breake and fals againe, 

To Earth, or Sea, in mow, fleet, Haile or Raine. 

of Mi/is. Mifts are fuch clouds, which neere the earth doe lye, 
Becaufe the fun wants ftrength to draw them high. 
When radiant Sol difplaies his piercing Beames 

of Raine. into a cloud, it Thawes, and Raines, in ftreames : 
And as the cloud is diftant neere or farre, 
So, great, or fmall the fhowrie droppes ftill are. 
Some men ('gainft Raine) doe carry in their backs 
Prognosticating Aking Almanacks : 
Some by a painefull elbow, hip, or knee, 
Will fhrewdly gueffe, what wether's like to be : 
Some by their cornes are wondrous Weather-wife, 
And fome by biting of Lice, Fleas, or Flies : 
The Gowt, Sciatica, The Gallian Morbus, 
Doth oft foretell if Tempefts fhall difturbe us ; 
For though thefe things converfe not with the ftars, 
Yet to Mans Griefe they are Aftronomers ; 
In Spring time, and in Autumne Phcebus Ray 
From land and fea drawes vapours in the day, 
Which to th' Ayres loweft Region he exhales, 
DmK And in the night in pearly dew it fals. 


All Drinkes, and all Waters. 

Here oft 'fall Meldewes, fvveet as Hony ; And 

Dew oft turnes Manna in Polonia land. 

Twixt Dew and Hoare-froft, all the ods, I hold Koanfnjls 

One comes from heate, the other from the cold. 

Hayle is an Ice which oft in flawes and ftormes HayU. 

In fpring and Harveft fals, in fundry formes ; 

For in the Autumne, Winter, or by night 

Scarce any Hayle within our land doth light. 

And laft comes Snow, the cold'ft of Winters Weathers, Snow. 

Which fals and fils the Ayre with feeming feathers. 

Thefe from the land, and from the Ocean Maine, 

The Sun drawes up, and then lets fall againe. 

Thus water univerfally doth fly 

From Earth and skie to Sea, from them to Sky : 

For 'twixt the Firmament, the land and Ocean, 

The Water travels with perpetuall Motion. 

Now, from the Airy Regions I defcend, 

And to a lower courfe my ftudy bend : 

He that of thefe things would know more, may pleafe 

To looke them in fome Ephimerides. 

Springs, (in the Earth) I doe Affimulate springs. 

To veines of Man, which doe evacuate, 

And drop by drop through Cavernes they diftill, 

Till many meetings make a petty Rill: 

Which Rill (with others) doe make Rivolets, 

And Rivolets, Brookes, Bournes and foords begets, 

And thus combined, they their ftore deliver 

Into a deeper trench, and make a River. 

Then Rivers joyne, as Ifis doth with Tame, Rivers. 

And Trent with Owfe, and Humber doth the fame. 

Thefe altogether doe their Tributes pay 

Unto their foveraigne Ocean night and day. 

Thefe make Dame Tellus wombe to fructifie, 

As blood in veines of men doe life fupply. 

Lakes in low vallied Grounds have Generation, Lalns 

Or from fome feverall Rivers Inundation. 

Some Lakes feeme Oceans, amongft which are thefe 


Drinke and welcome, 

The Dead-lake, Hircan, and the Cafpian feas. 

A Whirpooles like unto ftate policy 

Not to be founded, but with jeopardy. 

Hot Bathes doe fpring from Brimftone veines, whofe heat 

For many cures have opperetion great. 

Some minerall earth is bitter, and doth make 

The water iffuing thence, that tafte to take. 

In Scicily, they fay, there is a Well 

Whofe water doth for Vinegar ferve well. 

A Well neere Bilen in Boliemia lies 

Which (like burnt Wine) the Countrey there fupplies. 

And divers fprings in Germany there be, 

Whofe tafte with Vinegar, or Wine agree. 

For there the Brimftone mines, and Minerals 

With Fumes infufing vapours up exhales 

And with the waters doe incorporate 

Hot, cold, fweet, fowre, as they ennaccuate. 

Some Rivers are of fuch ftrange working might, (white, 

Which dranke (by fheepe) doth change them black from 

Some that with bathing cure, blind, deafe, and lame, 

And makes mens haire red that doe drinke the fame, 

Some are at noone key-cold, at midnight hot, 

Some makes a man mad, fome a drunken fot, 

Some are in fummer cold, in winter warme, 

And fome are banefull, full of poyfn'ous harme. 

Some fdo with luft) make mens affections burne, 

And fome (through coldneffe) wood to ftones will turne, 

Some will quench burning torches ftraite, and then 

Dz'p'd in the water they are light agen, 

I read that in Silicia one may finde 

A well which if Thieves drinke of, are ftrucke blinde, 

My felfe, and many thoufands more than I 

Would ('rather then to drinke thereof be drie. ) 

If Brittaines waters all were fuch, I thinke 

That few of us would dare thereof to drinke .• 

I could write more of ftrange wells opp'rations : 

And waters of our owne and other Nations. 


All Drinks and all Waters. 

But Do6tour Fulk of late hath writ a booke, 

Of Met'ors, and who lifts therein to looke, 

May read, and reading may be well fuffic'd, 

So learnedly he hath Epitomiz'd. 

There are two Springs, which women (when they mump) 

Or lumpifh lowring from their eyes can pumpe, 

And in thofe pearly ftreames the foole, and witty, 

Hath oftentimes beene duck'd or fous'd with pity : 

Kinde hearted men are drown'd in forrow deepe 

When they doe fee a handfome woman weepe. 

But Aprill like, foone dry and quickly wet 

(As anger, love, or hate doe rife or fet,) 

But as for thofe that truely fpring from griefe, 

I wifh them confolation and Reliefe. 

Now fto ecclips the vigour of the Vine) 

We have ftrong waters, ftronger much than Wine : 

One with a quart of water drunke may be, 

When (of the beft wine,) he may hold out three, 

The fellers of thefe waters feldome row, 

And yet they are ftrong- water-men, I know. 

Some water-men there are of fight fo quicke, 

They'l tell by water if a man be ficke, 

And f through the urinall) will fpeedily 

Finde out the caufe, the griefe and remedy. 

Thefe men deferve much honour, love and thankes. 

But hang bafe pifpot cheating Mountebankes. 

'Twere fit the Ratcatchers with them mould be, 

Combin'd in one, and at one Hall made free. 

I could fpeake why the fea doth ebbe and flow, 

And why 'tis fait, but Doclour Fulke doth fhow 

Compendioufly, as I have faid before ; 

And therefore here Tie touch thefe poynts no more. 

Month changing Luna, hath the government 

O're all the various watry element, 

And as the Moone is mutable even fo 

The waters ftill are turning to and fro : 

'Tis fmooth, 'tis rough, deepe, fhallow, fwift and flow, 

D Whofe 


Drinke and welcome, 

Whofe motion doth pefpetiiall ebbe and flow : 

Moft weake, moft ftrong, moft gentle, moft untam'd 

Of all the creatures that were ever nam'd : 

It is fo weake that children may it fpill, 

And ftrong enough millions of men to kill : 

As fmooth as Glaffe, as Rugged as a Beare, 

Weake, and yet greateft burthens ftill doth beare, 

And as the waters from the Moone doth carry 

Her inclination, and like her do vary : 

So I (a Water-man) in various fafhions, 

Have wroate a hotchpotch here of ftrange mutations, 

Of ancient liquors, made by Liber Pater, 

Of drinkes, of Wines, of fundry forts of Water : 

My Mufe doth like a Monkey friske and frigge, 

Or like a Squirrell skip, from twigge to twigge : 

Now fipping Sider, ftraightway fupping Perry, 

Metheglin fweet, and Mead, (that makes her merry) 

With Braggot, tharein teach a Cat to fpeake, 

And poore Pomperkin (impotent and weake,) 

And laftly (as the chiefe of all the reft,) 

She tipples Huff-cap Ale, to crowne the feaft, 

Yet now and then in Beere and Bdlderdajh 

Her lips fhe dips ; and cleane her entrailes warn : 

And ending, (he declares Sack's mighty power, 

Which doth time, coyne, wit, health, and all devoure. 

Not by the mod'rate ufe, but by th' abufe 

Which daily is in univerfall ufe. 

For Rhenifh, Claret, White, and other Wines 

They need not the exprefllon of my lines ; 

Their vertue's good, if not commix'd impure, 

And (as they'r us'd) they may both kill or cure. 

Through drinks, through wines, and waters, I have run, 

And (being dry and fober.J I have 



Iohn Taylors laft Voyage, 

[Hazlitt, No. 65.] 

Iohn Taylors laft Voyage, 


from the twentieth of luly laft i 6 4 i . 
to the tenth of September following. 

In which time he paft, with a Scullers Boate 

from the Cittie of London, to the Cities and Townes 

of Oxford, Gloucefler, Shrezve's fairy, Briftoll, 

Bathe, Monmouth and Hereford. 

The manner of his Paffages and Entertainement 
to and fro, truly defcribed, 

With a fnort touch of fome wandring and fome fix- 
ed Scifmatiques, fuch as are Brownifts, Anabaptifts, 
Famalies, Humorifts and foolifts, which the Authour 
found in many places of his Voyage and 

By Iohn Taylor. 

Printed at London by F. L. for Iohn Taylor, and may be 

had at the fhoppe of Thomas Bates in the 

Old Baily. 1641. 

To his Friend M r - yohn Tayler, 
on his voyage and Iourney. 

F true affeclion doth your mufe infpire 
To'th honor d welfare of your native place, 
Then fet your hand to now I you defire, 
The time is now, when you may do us grace. 

This ftibiefl fure is large, if you thinke of it 
You are not bounded, but you may at eafe 
Survey, collect the good the honour profit 
Of trade, of Citie, Cotmtrey, Rivers, Seaes. 

It may provoke fome yet not thought upon 
To raife the ruines of this decayed place ; 
To profecute this hopefull worke begun 
And leave fome honour to our after Race. 

From ancient Monmouth Geffery tooke his name, 
So Henry did from Huntington likeivife ; 
Why may not Gloucefter ad to Taylors fame, 
Since that from thence his birth and name did rife. 

Gloucefter this 3 of 

Augufl, 1 64 1. Yours to command 

Henry Ellis. 
A 2 

Iohn Taylor Water-Poet 


Loapety - Troianroweth. 

Strange Newes ! There is arrived at our Key ; 
A wandring Poet alwaies in his way ; 
Whofe wilfull Errors makes him thus to vaunt, 
ySneas-like, I came from Troyonvant. 
I rowed in Rivers fometimes checkt by Milles, 
Steer'd under Bridges, and came over Hilles. 
The Oares of pleafure and of profit brought 
This Water- Poet hither in his boat ; 
And hence he mull, but yet he will I trow 
To the Brittaines rather then the Latines row : 
Englifh will ferve him rightly to rehearfe 
His crooked tra veils in good profe or verfe. 
When as the winds of fancy ceafe to blow him, 
If he have watermen to row or tow him ; 
Expect Relations, I beleeve in fyne 
The Poets waterworkes will goe in wine, 
And all his dry-land paffages appeare 
With cafuall events both here and there. 
Now I doe wifh he may accomplfh it 
Without expence of any thing but wit. 

Gloucejler 3, Augufi. 

1 64 1. Yours Io. Dorney. 



performed from the twentieth of Iuly 
laft 1 64 1. to the tenth of Septem- 
ber following. 

OF famous Rivers, Brooks, Bournes, Rills, Bz. Springs, 
Of Deepes and Shallowes my invention Sings, 
Of Rocks Impenetrable, fourds and Mills, 
Of Stopps, and Weares, Shelves, Sands, and mighty Hills, 
Of Navigable paffages (Neglected) 
Of Rivers fpoyl'd, men begger'd and deiecled. 
Of Tame, of IJis, Seaverne, Wye and. Teme 
Lugge, Loden, Doyre, and Monnoes Pearly Streame, 
Of thefe, of more than thefe, and of their Vfes, 
And of their miferable ftrange Abufes. 
I truely treate, that men may note and fee 
What bleffings Navigable Rivers bee, 
And how that thoufands are debar'd thofe bleffings 
By few mens Avaritious hard oppreffings. 
I alfo fhew how thofe faults may be mended 
And no man have juft caufe to be offended. 
And with a paire of Oares (for that intent) 
I once from Londoti unto Lincolne went, 
Whereas a paffage feven miles was cut thorowe 
From Lincolne into Trent, and to Gainfboroive ; 

A 4 


Iohn 1 ay lor s laft voyage. 

That way I paft, and into Humber paft 

To Htdl, from thence to Owfe, and Yorke at laft, 

Another Voyage to the Weft, againe 

I (with a Wherry) paft the raging Maine 

From London to the Ifle of Wight and thence 

To Salifbury (with Time and Coynes expence) 

Since when our gratious foveraigne did ordaine 

The Vifcount Dorchejler to take the paine 

To view what wrongs the River Thames did beare 

I ferved then, and every Stoppe and Weare 

And all impediments, I found I writ 

And (hoping for amendment) printed it. 

For care was taken, and true induftrie 

That from faire Oxfords Univerfity 

To London I Annottomiz'd the flood 

And fhew'd it's qualities both bad and good. 

Promife was made, Thames wrongs fhould bee re- 

And fome fmall helps were fpeedily perform'd (form'd 

But yet not halfe is done that then was fpoken 

(All promifes are either kept or broken) 

For as a monument, of our difgraces 

The Rivers too too fowle in many places. 

I have defcrib'd heere many an injury 

In three great Rivers, Severne, Thames, and Wye) 

Befides two Rivers Avon, one makes fpeede 

To Brijlol, (and doth make it rich indeede.) 

And would Bathe cure that Rivers great amiffe 

That City would be richer then it is, 

But each man to himfelfe beares private love 

And no man will the generall griefe remove. 


John Taylors laft voyage. 

The other Avon Ruines paft Glq/lerWed 

From Brijiols Avon fifty miles at leaft, 

It glides to Stretford Towne from Coventry 

And into Severne falls at Tewxbury. 

Of Rivers, many writers well have done 

Grave Camden, Dray tons Polyolbyon, 

And painefull Speede, doth in his Mappes declare 

Where all thefe Brookes and waters were and are, 

But yet not any one have fought (but I) 

To finde their wrongs, and fhew fome remedy. 

I fhew the meane neglect of Navigation 

For few mens profit, publique lamentation, 

To encreafe fome five or fixe mens Treafury 

Whiles twenty thoufand lives in mifery, 

From fhore to fhore brave Rivers are dam'd fo 

That not a woodden difh hath roome to go, 

No not a hand breadth, but that all is ftop'd 

And from the poore man all reliefe is ftop'd. 

It is the goodneffe of our God to give 

To us foure Elements, whereby we live : 

Thofe Elements, Fire, Water, Ayre are nam'd 

And Earth (of which althings are made and fram'd, 

And all thofe bleffings, the great God of Heaven 

(Some more, fome leffe to every man hath given. 

By ayre and breath (and breath no man buy 

Ayre ferves all creatures in community) 

And though earth yeeld materialls for the fire 

Which many a fonne (by right) holds from his fire, 

Yet fure me thinkes the water fhould be free 

For paffage, for all men of each degree. 


Iohn Taylors laft voyage. 

And though the Rivers in proportions are 
Shar'd thine, or mine, or this or that mans fhare, 
Yet fure, when God gives water, boates to beare 
It mould not be ftop'd up, with Mill or Weare. 
And now my meaning plainer to difclofe, 
A little while Tie turne my Verfe to Profe. 

A S Raine from the Firmament is drawne from the 
^*-Sea, and other waters and Vapours of the Earth, 
and Ayre, by the vigour of the Sunne, whereby Rivers 
fpring and overflow Graffe, Groves, Fruits encreafe, 
fifhes multiplie, beafts and cattell breede, and waxe 
fat, Corne plentifull, Butter and Cheefe in abun- 
dance, and all other bleffings for the life of man or 
beaft is nourifhed with milke of Heaven (as raine may 
juftly be called) So Navigable Rivers are the Cheri- 
fhing veines of the body of every Countrey, King- 
dome, and Nation : And as the veines of man doth 
diftill fupporting fuftinence, to every part and mem- 
ber of his body ; fo doe paffable Rivers convey all 
manner of commodities from place to place, to the 
benefit of all and every place in every Countrey and 

My felfe bearing a naturall affection to Portable 
Rivers, and a fetled inclination and defire of the pre- 
fervation and ufe of them, did for the fame intent e- 
fpecially lately paffe with a fmall Scullers boate into 
five great Rivers of this Kingdome ; for the which in- 
tent, (to beare charges) I procured divers of my 
friends to fubfcribe to feverall Bills, for them to pay 


John Taylors laft voyage. 

me fome feverall fmall fummes of money, upon my 
delivery to each of them a booke at my returne of the 
paffages and entertainements which I had in my 
journey ; which booke this is, which you are now 
reading, and how I paft out and came backe againe, 

with many occurrences that happened I have truely 
related as followeth. 

On the twentieth day of July laft, 1 64 1 . (the fecond 
day of the dogged Dog dayes (I with my two men 
and a brace of boyes were embarqued with a Scul- 
lers boate firft from London, and within halfe a quar- 
ter of an houre after, I paft from my houfe neare the 
Beares Colledge on the Banckfide, I tooke leave of 
fome friends, and had a flagge advanced as a token of 
my publike departure ; but fome enemies gave out 
that I was runne away, who I doe know (fince my re- 
turne,) to be a crew of malicious Vermin, (that ftill 
being the moft auntient name of their Captaine and 
leader,) on the day afforefaid with many flops, ftayes, 
and taking leaves, wee gat to Oatlands at night, and 
lodged at Wey bridge at the figne of the fixe Ankers. 
The next day, being wendnefday I ftrived againft the 
ftreame as farre as Great Mar low, in Btukinghamjhire, 
where I Lodg'd at the figne of the Crowne. Thurfe- 
day the 22. of July, I paft (with much toyle,) from 
Mar low to Goring; and the next day I came to Abing- 
ton. If it be demanded why I was fo many dayes in paf- 
fing 130 miles, I anfwer that the River (by reafon of 
a great drought) wanted water in may places, fo that 
wee were forc'd to wade, and leade or hale the boate 


Iohn Taylors lajl voyage. 

.divers times, and moreover we did pull the faid Boate 
over or thorough 14. Locks, befides many other im- 
pediments, which hindred our paffage. 

As farre as above Stanes (which is forty miles by 
water from London, The River Thames is by the care 
and providence of the Lord Mayor well conferved 
and kept from impediments of Stops Weares, Sand 
beds and other hindrances of paffages of eyther 
Boates or Barges, and from Stanes to the furtheft part 
almoft there is no ftoppage (but only Weares, which 
Weares have Lockes to open and fhut for the paf- 
fing to and fro of all manner of veffells (paffable tho- 
rough from London to Oxford; betwixt which Cities 
the Barges doe draw up nineteene of thofe Lockes 
with engines (like Capftanes) which are called Crabbs. 
I doe relate this heare, becaufe the Reader may by 
that which followeth underftand, that though 
Weares be neceffary in Rivers, yet they ought not to 
flop up all paffages, but to fuffer Lockes to be opened 
and fhut as Thames hath. 

Thurfeday the twenty feaven, I paffed with my 
Boate from Abington to Oxford, where I was well en- 
tertained with good cheere and worfhipfull compa- 
ny at Univerfity Co Hedge; The next day I paffed to a 
place called Bablack Hive (or Hithe^) And on Thurfe- 
day the twenty nine, I paffed by Lechlad, and came to 
Creeklad; This towne of Creeklad is five miles di- 
ftant by land from Ciciter, but it is eafier to row fixtie 
miles by water on the River of Thames, then it is to 
paffe betweene thofe two townes, for there are fo 


Iohn Taylors lajl voyage. 

many milles, fords and fhallowes with flops, and o- 
ther impediments that a whole daies hard labour with 
my felfe and foure more could neyther by toyle or 
Art get but to a Mill of one M after H or tones at a place 
called Suddington, a mile fhort of Ciciter, fo that ac- 
cording to land meafure we went but foure miles in a 
long dayes travell. The laft of yuly I left Suddington 
Mill, with the honeft welcome of the Miller and his 
wife, and with much a doe for want of water I gatt to 
Ciciter, where the River was fo dry that it would beare 
my boate no further; at the hither end of that Towne 
there ftands a great Barne belonging to one Cooke, 
of whom I hired a Waine, wherein I put my Boate 
my felfe and my Men, Boyes, and luggage; this Waine 
did in leffe then five houres draw me from the River 
IJis neere Ciciter, to a brooke called Stroud, which 
booke hath it's head or Spring in BeJJley Hundred 
neere Mijferden in Cot/would 'in Glojierfhire, (Stowdand 
Ckurne might be cut into one, and ioSeverne & Thames 
might be made almoft joyned friends) are within 4. 
miles of Ckurne, which hath its firft fpring nere Coder- 
ley, 7. miles from Glocejler & falles into IJis about Lceck- 
lad, fo that 4 miles cutting in the Land betwixt Ckurne 
and Stroud, would be a meanes to make paffages from 
Thames to Severne, to Wye, to both the Rivers of Avon 
mEngland, and to one River oiAvon'mMonmouth/hire, 
which falles into the River of VJke neere Carlion in 
Wales. By which meanes goods might be conveyed by 
water too & from London, in Rivers at cheape rates 
without danger, almoft to half the countyes in Eng- 


John Taylors laft voyage. 

land and Wales. But there is a devill or two calledjlotk 
and couvetuoufnejfe, that are the bane of all good en- 
deavours and laudable Actions, but more of this, 
fhall be faid hereafter. 

I being vncarted (with my boate) at a place called 
Stonehoufe, in the Afforefaid brooke called Stroud, with 
paffing and wading, with haling over high bankes at 
fulling Milles (where there are many) with plucking 
over funcke trees, over and under ftrange Bridges, of 
wood and ftone, and in fome places the brooke was 
fcarce as broad as my Boate, I being oftentimes im- 
peached with the bowghes and branches of willowes 
and Alder Trees, which grew fo thicke, hanging over 
and into the brooke, fo that the day light or Sunne 
could fcarce peepe through the branches, that in many 
places all paffages were ftop'd ; fo that I was fome- 
times forced to cut and hew out my way with a 
hatchett ; with this miferable toyle all the day I gat 
at night to a Mill called FroombridgeMill, whereas (for 
our comfort) was neither Victualing houfe, meate, 
drinke or lodging, but that a good gentlewoman, one 
Miftris Bowfer, there did comifetare our wants, and 
though fhe were not accuftomed to vicluall or lodge 
Travellers, yet the rarety of our boate, and ftrangenes 
of my adventure moved her fo farre that fhee at an 
eafie rate did furnifh us with good dyet, my felfe with 
a bed in an out-houfe, and my men and boyes with a 
fweet new mowed and new made hayloft. 

I am much ingaged to a gentleman (one Mafter 
John Stephens^) whofe worthy father Nathaniell Ste- 



Iohn Taylors laft voyage. 

phans Efquire) is one of the Knights of the Shire for 
the County of Gloce/ler, in this Honorable and high 
Court of Parliament. To this Houfe at EJiington 
(corruptly called EJlori) I was invited from the Mill 
with my company, where we both at dinner and flip- 
per had welcome and good entertainement on Sun- 
day the firft oiAuguJi. I doe further acknowledge my 
gratitude to Mafter Mew the Minifter there, both for 
his Spirituall paines taking, twice the faid Saboth, and 
alfo I thanke him for other courtefies which hee 
beftowed on me. 

Munday the fecond of Augujl I tooke my leave at 
Froombridge Mill, and (falling to our old worke againe 
of haleing and draweing from Mill to Mill, and from 
one hindrance to another, I came at laft to Whitmijler, 
where after I had plucked my boate over, I with my 
Murnivall of followers were ftayed at the command of 
a worthy Gentleman named Mafter Thomas LLoyd, to 
whofe houfe neere there we went upon fmall intreat- 
ty, whence my fudden entertainement was fo freely 
generous as might have befeemed the perfo of a good 
Knight or Efquire. The faid gentleman went with 
me to the brookes mouth, and faw me entred into the 
River of Severne, where (with thankes) I tooke my 
leave of him, and in two or three howers fpace I fwom 
up the Severne to the ancient Citie of Glocefter, where 
I was borne, and where by reafon of almoft fifty 
yeares abfence I was fcarce knowne. But the right 
worfhipfull Thomas Hill Efquire, Mayor of Glccejler 
gave me noble entertainement, and invited mee and 


J 5 

Iohn Taylors laft voyage. 

my fervants to his houfe : the next day at dinner, and 
afterwards about three in the afternoone, he came to 
the key at the River fide, where I entred my boate and 
tooke leave of him, and went to Tewxbury being (fome 
twelve miles by water that night, the fourth of Augujl 
I paft by the citie of Worcefter up the River to Bewdley, 
where I lodged at the figne of the Pyde Bull; The 
third of Augujl, I went from Bewdley (being an ex- 
treame rainy day) and that night approaching I faw 
a faire houfe belongingtoaKnight namedSir William 
VVhitmore, thither I went and demanded of fome 
of his fervants whether lodging might bee had for 
money, where a poore man did anfwer, that if I would 
but croffe the River with him, and goe but halfe a 
mile up a hill, I fhould have the beft entertainement 
his poore cottage could afford, and neceffity having 
no law, I accepted willingly ; 

And furely that faire houfe I laft fpake of, was of 
a ftrange operation, for I was wet to the fkinne when 
I went thither, and in leffe then halfe a quarter of an 
houre, I came away as dry as ever I was in my life ; this 
is a mifterie or a Riddle, for I faw not the butler. 

The fixt of Augujl I paft thorough many fharpe 
ftreames, fords, and lhallowes to a place called Coond- 
lane-end, where I lodgd at a Smiths, it being the one 
and only houfe there. 

The feventh of Augujl (being Saterdy) I arived at 
Shrojebury, where I tooke harbour at one Luckmans 
houfe upon the lower bridge, in the afternoone I went 
to the Major Thomas Wing field Efquire, he bad me wel- 


John Taylors lajl woyage. 

com (but had no leafure to bid me drinke) but 
he came from the Towne Hall with me to my 
lodging, and faw mee in my boate, and after- 
wards with his hand and feale of his office, tooke 
his leave dryly of me. But Mafter Thomas Jones, 
an Alderman there, that had borne the office of a 
Bayliffe there, fixe times before Shrewefbury was 
a Mayor Towne, and (as I was informed hee 
was the firft Mayor of that place, and he hath al- 
fo beene high Sheriffe of the County of Salop 
(or Shropjliire) that Gentleman invited mee to 
dine with him on munday the ninth of Augujl, 
where there was no want of good company, fifh, 
fiefh, foule, venifon, wine, and welcom. 

That afternoone I left Shewefbury, and retur- 
ned downe the River twelve miles by water to 
Coonde- lane-end, where I lodged at my old Hofts 
the Smiths houfe. 

The tenth of Augujl I came to the Citie of 
Worcejier, where the Right worfhipfull William 
Norris Efquire, Mayor there made me extraor- 
dinarily welcome, giving his teftimoniall under 
his hand and feale of Mayoraltie, that I was there 
with my boate. 

Wendnefday the eleventh of Augujl I retur- 
ned to Glouce/ler, where I was well entertained at 
a venifon feaft, by the right Worfhipfull Mafter 
Mayor and his Bretheren. And prefently (after 
dinner) I tooke boate and left Gloucejler, and paft 

B downe 


Iohn Taylors laft voyage. 

downe the River 12. miles to a place called Gat- 
combe, there I flayed while fuch time as the tyde 
would ferve me towards Bryjlow, (which was a- 
bout midnight,) But one Mafter Hooper that 
dwells there, being a very good Seaman, did 
give me good inftruclions and directions to a- 
voyde many dangers in that nightly paffage, be- 
fides I followed the tract of a boate laden with 
fruit which was bound for Briftow, fo that after 
all nights labour amongft rockes and perrilous 
deepes, whirling Gulfes and violent ftreames a- 
bout the Breake of day on Friday the 13 of Au- 
gujl, I came to Kingroad, and flaying there a 
while for the flood, I paft up that River of Avon 
to Hungroad by Crockhampill, and by nine of 
the clock in the forenoone I came to the rich and fa- 
mous City of Brijloll. 

My entertainement there I will fet downe in 
briefe, which was by the Right Worfhipfull 
John Taylor Efquier Mayor, a Gentleman en- 
dowed (by the bounty of Heaven) both with 
right and left hand bleffings, on Sunday the fif- 
teenth of Augufi my felfe and followers were 
his invited guefts twice : and the next day hee 
gave mee a Certificate under hand and feale of 
my Arivall at that Citie, .and at my taking leave 
of him (he knowing that travell was chargeable) did 
difcharge a peece at me, and I unfearefull of 
the fliott, did put it up moft thankefully ; my 



Iohn Taylors laji voyage. 

humble thankes to my Cofin Mafter Thomas 
Taylor at the Marfh there, whofe friendfhip and 
favour I cannot requit or forget. 

On the fixteenth of Augujl I departed from 
Brijloll, towards the Citie of Bath, which is ten 
miles diflant by land, and neere feventeene by 
water, which with paffing by water over foure 
or five Milles and Weares, I attained to, at which 
Citie of Bathe, I ftayed two nights, being wel- 
come to the Right Worfhipfull Mafter Mathew 
Clift Mayor, with good entertainement from 
him & fome other Townefmen, I tooke his hand 
and feale of Mayoraltie for my Certificate, and 
fo returned to Brijloll againe on wednefday the 
eighteenth of Augujl. 

The nineteenth of Augujl, at midnight I left 
Brijloll, and with the tyde paft downe the River 
into Kingroad, where I lay at the Hole mouth 
(as they call it) till the flood came, and day light 
beginning to appeare, with the fame tyde I paft 
the broad water twelve miles to the River of Wye 
in Monmouth fhire ; that day I paft by Cheapjlow, 
by the old Abbey of Tinterne, and to litle Tin- 
terne where I lay all that night, in a very cleane- 
ly wholfome welch Englijh Alehoufe. The 
twenty one I came to Monmouth (the fhire 
Towne of that Countrey) where one Mafter 
William Guilliam did give me fuch entertaine- 
ment at his houfe (on Sunday the twenty two 

B 2 of 


Iohn Taylors lajl voyage. 

of Augu/l,) as I am bound gratefully to remem- 

Munday the twenty three of Augufl, I left 
Monmouth, and (with a whole dayes labour by 
water) according to the miles by land) I got not 
a foote of ground ; for at night when I came to 
a place called Lidbrooke, I was twelve miles from 
Hereford, and I was but twelve miles from the 
faid Citie when I was in the morning at the 
Tovvne of Mounmouth, this doth fhew that the 
River of Wye doth runne a littie crooked from 
Lidbrooke. I went (on Saint Bartkolomewes 
day) to the Tovvne of Roffe, where I lodged 
nere Wilton Bridge there : and on the tvventie 
five I went to Foune Hope; and the twenty fixe 
day about tenne of the clocke I gat to the Citie 
of Hereford, which was the laft place and the 
end of my painefull travell, Joruney, Voyage, 
Perambulation, and Peregrination, or what you 
pleafe to call it ; at Hereford I was invited to 
three feverall places to dine on the friday, and I 
being not able to fatisfie them all, gave them all 
the flippe, the three places were Edmond Afhton 
Efquire Mayor, the fecond the Vicars at the Min- 
fter or Colledge ; thirdly, at a Taverne with 
diverfe Gentlemen, but I having gotten the 
Mayors hand & feale, becaufe I could not pleafe 
all, left all, and ftole away like a true man, leaving 
my thankes for Mafter Mayor, and Mafter Phil- 

John Taylors lajl voyage. 

lip Traherne, with all the reft, for their kindneffe 
to me the day before. 

At my being at Hereford I was in a quandary or 
brovvne ftuddy, whether it were beft to fell my 
boat, & returne to London by land, or elfe to bring 
the boate home againe either by land or water, 
or both, or how I could : at laft I determined & 
refolved to bring the monumentall veffell backe 
againe, which I did as followeth. 

On friday the 27. of Augtijl I paffed downe the 
River of Wye to a place called Inckfon Weare, 
where, with great entertainement and welcom 
I was lodged and my men alfo at the houfe of 
one Mafter Aperley, dwelling there, to whom 
(for many) favours I doe acknowledge my felfe 
to bee extraordinarily beholding. And on the 
Saterday I came to Lidbrook to my former Hofte 
Mafter Mojfe, where underftanding and knowing 
the paffage down Wye and up Severne to be very 
long & dangerous (efpecially if ftormye weather 
fhould arife, the boate being fplit, torne & fhaken 
that fhe did leake very much) thefe things confi- 
dered, & that I was within five miles of Severne 
by land to Newnliam, and that by water thither 
there was no leffe than 50 miles, I hired a Wayne 
from Lidbrook to Newnham. And on Munday the 
30. of Atiguft I paft up Severne, by Glocejler (and 
working all night) came in the morning betimes 
to Tewxbury, into another River called Avon, 
which by the great charge and induftry of Mafter 

B 3 Sands 

Iohn Taylors laft voyage. 

Sands is made navigable, many miles up into 
the Countrey. Tufeday the 31 of Augujl I came 
to a Market Towne in VVorceJlerJhire called Perjhore. 
On the firft of September I came to the Aun- 
cient Towne of Eve/halm (corruptly called E- 
Jham) and feeing that River to bee further and 
further out of my way home, I hired another 
Wayne from EJham to Burford, where I found 
a crooked brooke called VVindruJh, in which 
( after one nights lodging ) with my ap- 
pendixes having taken each of us a Burford bait, 
we paffed many ftrange letts and hindrances in- 
to the River of IJis or Thames : Againe at New- 
bridge 12. or 14. miles from Oxford hy water. By 
which Univerfity I paft to Abingdon. The fourth 
of September, where I ftayed till Wednefday the 
eight day : from thence was I with my boate at 
home on the Friday following. And thus in leffe 
then twenty dayes labour 1200. miles were paft 
to and fro in moft hard, difficult and many dan- 
gerous paffages, for the which I give God moft 
humble and hearty prayfe and thankes, and now 
I crave the Readers patience a little whilft I 
briefely treate of a few things that may bee pro- 
fitable as well as pleafant. 

I have before related of certaine flops, milles, 
and wares that doe hinder the paffages of boates 
of Thames and IJis, now I will treate a little of the 
abufes and ufes of other Rivers. 

As for the River of Severne, it is almoft as much 


John Taylors laft voyage. 

abus'd as us'd, for an inftance, there are Coale- 
mines neere it, and by the benefit of that River, 
mane a hundred family is ferved with fulficient 
fewell at cheape rates, but fome of thofe Cole- 
mines doe yeeld neere iooo tunnes of Rubbifh 
yearely, which by reafon of the neereneffe of the 
River is all warned into it, and makes fo many 
fhallowes, that in time Severne will bee quite 
choaked up, and all paffage flopped, but of that 
River more at the conclufion. 

Avon River, that ferveth Brijloll would alfo 
be made to ferve Bathe, and many other parts 
and places, if Lockes were made at weft Hanham 
weare, and at Kenifham, (with 4. or 5. places 
more) for the River doth offer Gods bleffing to 
the peoples mouthes, if they would but open 
their lippes to receive them. 

The River Wye is debard of all paffage with 
Boates, by 7. Weares, 2. of them are Monmouth 
Weare, & Wilton Weare, the other 5. are Ink/on 
Weare, Carow, Founehope, Hancocks and Bondnam 
Weare, thefe feven weares (like the feven dead- 
ly finnes) doe dam up all goodneffe that fhould 
come from Monmouth to Hereford by water, and 
if the yron milles in the forreft of Deane doe eate 
up all the wood there (as it hath already done 
reafonably well and ill) within thefe few yeares, 
if the paffages be ftopt with Weares that coales 
cannot be carried by water to Hereford and ma- 
ny other places, it is to be feared that many rich 

B 4 men 


Iohn Taylors lajl voyage. 

men will bee glad to blow their fingers ends in 
the Winter through want of fiering, and num- 
bers of poore will perifh with extreame cold ; 
the complaints and cryes are grievous already ; 
which if I had not heard and feene I would not 
have beleeved : and 7. lockes at thofe Weares 
would helpe all, and hinder nobody, or elfe onely 
two Lockes would doe much good, the one at 
Monmouth Weare, & the other at Wilton, which 
is but eight miles from Hereford, and good way 
by land, for the carriage of any thing that might 
be brought by water. 

For the other Kiver Avon, it comes from be- 
yond the City of Coventry, and running by the 
Tovvnes of Stretford, Eve/holme, and Perjhore, it 
falles into Severne at Tewxbury, fo that Gloucejler- 
fhire (my native Countrey) is encompaft round 
with Navigable Rivers, of which Citie and 
Countrey I will fpeake a little for Countries 
fake, but moft of all for love I beare to truth and 

Records and Hiftories doe make true relation 
of the antiquity of the Citie of Gloucejler, that it 
was built by Arviragus (a Brittaine King) in the 
time of Claudius Tiberius Ccefar, The faid Claudius 
being the Roman Emperour, and commander of 
the whole World ; in whofe Raigne our blef- 
fed Saviour fuffered ; King Arviragus and Lucius 
(the firft Chriftian King doe lye there buried : 
when the Saxons had the rule and domination 


Iohn Taylors laft voyage. 

here in the raiane of Uter Pendragon and the renow- 
ned worthy King Arthur, that City and County had 
a Duke, a Bifhop, and a Major; above iioo yeares 
paft, their names were Edell, Eldadus, and Eldor, the 
fhire is divided in 33. Hundreds, of which the Citie 
it felfe is one, and two Hundreds more named Kings 
Burton and Dun/lone, with 30. Townes and Villages 
are annexed to the faid Citie ; which is all under the 
commande of the Major and his brethren. It hath 
beene anciently famous for the Trade of Merchandi- 
fing, (now altogether decayed, the more is the pitty) 
King Henry the third was Crowned there the 28. of 
Oclober 12 16. there hath been many Dukes & Earles 
of Glocefler fince the Norman Conqueft, as firfh Robert 
fittz Hamon, fecond William de Mondevill, third Robert 
de Millent, which Robert was taken prifoner & was ex- 
changed for King Stephen, the faid King being then 
taken prifoner by Maude the Empreffe) the fourth 
Earle oiGlocefter, was William fonne to the {aid Robert, 
and Lord of Glamorgan, was buried at Kin/ham 1 183. 
"John (who was afterwards King of England} was the 
third Earle of Glocejler, the fixt was Almerick Mount- 
fort, buried at Keinjham. Sixt Geofferyde mandevile, he 
was flaine at a Tilting or Tournament 12 16. The 7. 
was Gilbertdi Clare 12 30. The 8. Richard de Clarei 262. 
The 9. Gilbert de Clare, the fecond of that name 1 295. 
all thefe three were buried at Tewxbury. Ricliard de 
Mount hermerwas the 10. Earle 1 323. Gilbert de Clare 
(the fon of Gilbert the fecond) was the 1 1. Earle, was 
flaine at Sherbin in Scotland, and buried at Tewxbury 



Iohn Taylors lajl voyage. 

1 3 1 3. Hugh deAudley the 1 2 Earle dyed 1 347. buried 
at Tunbridge. Thomas of Woodjlock, the fonof Y^. Edward 
the third, Duke of Glocejier, was murthered at Callice 
1397. Thomas Spencer the 13 Earle, was beheaded at 
Brijiow 1 400. Humphrey P Hantagenet, the fourth fon of 
K. Edward the fourth (who was called the good Duke 
Humphrey) was murthered, buried at S. Albons 1440. 
RlchardDuke o{Gloce/ler(afterwardsKingo{England) 
was flaine at the battle of Bofworth, and buried at Lei- 
cefter, 1 485. Henry of Oatlands the fourth fonne to our 
Soveraigne Lord King Charels, was borne at Oatlands 
in Surey on wednefday the eight of July 1640, now 
Duke of Glocejier, whom God bleffe. And fo much 
(though much more might be faid for the honour of 
Glocejier and Glocefterfhire. 

That commerce and Trade is the ftrength and fin- 
newes of the common wealth, the chiefe and onely 
fubfiftance of Cities and Corporations, it is appa- 
rently evident. And the greateft honour and glory 
of Kingdomes, & the reafons why feverall meanes 
there are that brings wealth and honour to a citie, all 
of them put together in one ballance, and the trade of 
Merchandifing in the other, it fhall overprize them al, 
upon it alone hangs and depends almoft all other 
trades, it brings great wealth and honour to all places 
where it is profecuted with fucceffe. Witneffe that 
of Leogorne, which within this 30. or 40. yeares was 
but a poore fifhing towne which by that trade alone 
is now the greateft mart of the Medeterenian Seas. As 
likewife the Low-countries, although they cannot 


Iohn Taylors lajl voyage. 

build a fhip, but muft fetch the materials from 6. feve- 
rall Kingdomes, yet they build and have more mips 
then all Chriftendome befides, & have not any thing 
almoft of a naturall ftaple commodity to deale upon, 
yet by that trade alone they have ingroffed the grea- 
ter! part of the trade, of the Chriftian World to the- 
felves ; & fome of them (if they pleafe).may be gaineful 
in the trade of merchandifmg there. Now that the 
Citie of Glocefter is fcituated in as convenient a place 
as any other within this Kingdome, the reafons fol- 
lowing fhall demonftrate. Firft the faid Citie. hath 
beene an auncient Port towne, graced & infranchefed 
with priviledges as ample as London, or any other citie 
or Towne within this Kingdome, & dignified with the 
title of the 3. son of the Kings, and hath beene famous 
in former ages for the trade of Merchandizing now 
altogether decayed; And is likewife fituated in as rich 
a foyle as any in this Kingdome, whofe Markets are 
alwaies ftored with abundance & varieties of all com- 
modities that the kingdome of England affords, inci- 
dent to the life and being of man. And it is likewife 
fituated in as convenient a place for any trade of 
Merchandizing being upon the famous River of Se- 
verne, then which there is not any more miles Navi- 
gable within this Kingdome, & alfo the River oiAvon 
being made Navigable within foure miles of Warwick 
which ftandeth in the heart and center of the faid 
Kingdome, having both the faid Rivers, the advantage 
of all opportunities both for exportation & importa- 
tion of all goods and commodities whatfoever into 



Iohn Taylors laft voyage. 
and from at leaft a third part of the faid Kingdome, & 
which parts vents as many forraine commodities and 
yeelds as many varieties of commodities as any o- 
ther part of the faid Kingdome doth. And which faid 
parts cannot bee ferved by or from any other parts, 
then by the faid Rivers unleffe they will fetch & bring 
their commodities over the land three or foure fcore 
miles at a great charge, which cannot be conceived 
they will doe, if it may be brought home to their 
doores by water ; the faid Citie having by fpeciall 
grant under the Great Seale, a fpatious and conve- 
nient Key or Wharfe built of ftone neare the Kings 
Cuftome-houfe upon the faid River, at which Key or 
Wharfe the Sea doth in its due courfe continually 
ebbe and flow for the bringing in and out of (hips, and 
other boates of convenient burthen, fo that a fhip of 
a hundred and fifty tunne, or thereabouts, may at eve- 
ry tide come to Gatcombe, which is but 12 miles from 
Glottce/ier, and there lye fecure, and the River of Wye 
runneth into the Severne tenne miles above Kingrode, 
where fhips of two or three hundred Tunnes may lye 
fecure and fafe. 

And I have obferved, that the trade that Briftoll 
driveth up to the city of Gloncejler : and beyond it, in 
fmall Barkes hoighes and Trowes, is at the leaft two 
hundred Tunnes of all commodities, every fpring, 
which is every fortnight or leffe. And it is conceived 
and more then probable, that if the faid trade of 
merchandizing were fettled within the faid City of 
Gloucejier, (as heretofore it hath beene) that neither 


Iohn Taylors laft voyage. 

the trades men of the faid City of Gloucefter, nor 
others that live three or foure fcore miles above it, 
will goe downe to Brijloll, and may have their com- 
modities in Gloucefter, for divers Reafons and incon- 
veniencies thay may thereby happen. 

As firft it faveth threefcoure miles riding in a dirty 
countrey, next the ventring of their goodes from 
Briftoll to Gloucefter by Water, fometimes caft away, 
fometimes (the fpring not ferving) they are benefit, 
and fo cannot have their commodities to ferve their 
turne, but ufually much abufed by Trow-men, fo that 
many that live up the River beyond Gloucefter, are 
thereby greatly difcouraged, and doe many times 
buy their commoditys at London, Southampton, Hull, 
and Ckefter, and fo bring it home by land three or 
fourefcore miles at a great charge, which if the trade 
were fettled at Gloucefter they would not doe, for 
which Reafons aforefaid and many other that might 
be alledged, it hath caufed divers men well (killed and 
verfed in the faid trade of Merchandizing, much to 
wonder that the faid trade hath beene fo long negr- 
lected, many of which hath concluded that the faid 
City of Gloucefter with the faid key and havens, and 
the Kings cuftome houfe thereunto, doe lye as con- 
venient for the faidtradeof Merchandizing, as any other 
City or Towne within this Kingdome, and might drive 
the greateft trade of any other {London only excepted.) 
For this City of Gloucefter, ftands almofl within (or 
neere) the Center of this kingdome, and for exporta- 
tion and Importation, of all Native and forraigne 


John Taylors laji voyage. 

commodities (by Reafon of the riches of the foyle) and 
Commodioufneffe of the Adiacent Rivers, it is com- 
parable to any place, except the Metropolis London. 
The village of Galcombe being at firft built for the trade 
of Gloucejler, (moft commodious). Now forafmuch as 
it may be objected, that the River of Seavern is dange- 
rous, I muft confeffe it is fo to thofe that know it not ; 
and through want of practife (whereby experience 
fhoweth) but to thofe that know it, noe danger at all. 
For there is not one Barge in twenty that hath beene 
caft away, but it hath been by the owners covetoufnes 
in loding too deep, or venturing too rafh upo the tide, 
for feare they mould be be kept, & fo loofe the fpring, 
all which with a certaine trade up and downe the Ri- 
ver might wifely be prevented ; All other difficulties 
that can or may be alledged, are of final! confequence 
to hinder, if men of meanes and ingenious fpirits doe 
undertake it. The reafon aforefaid hath induced fome 
men well affected to the publike good, and welfare of 
this City, to endeavour a beginning of this moft ho- 
nourable action, and were they feconded with that in- 
couragement from others, which if they were as wil- 
ling, as every way able, both with their place and 
meanes, The neceffity of this caufe fo earneftly requi- 
ring it, the neceffity of this caufe (I fay) fo greatly 
moveing it, there is no doubt but by the bleffmg of 
the Almighty, and that in a fhort time it might raife 
the ruines of the decayed trade of this City, fo much 
complained of by all, and make it as honourable as 
now it is contemptible, which is & fhal be the dead- 



Iohn Taylors laft voyage. 

ly prayers and defires of him, who prefenteth this ; 
Hoping that no Churlifh Naball, Mallicious Sanballat, 
corrupted Tobiah, proud Haman, unmercifull Dives, or 
any of the deadly finnes, can or fhall hinder fo good a 

FOr who can (but with pittie) here behold 
Thefe multitudes of mifchiefes manifold, 
Shall Rivers thus be barr'd with flops and locks, 
With Mills, and Hills, with gravels beds, and rocks : 
With weares, and weedes, and forced Ifiands made, 
To fpoyle a publique for a private Trade ? 
Shame fall the doers, and th' Almighties bleffing 
Be heap'd upon their heads that feeke redreffmg. 
Were fuch a bufmeffe to be done in Flanders 
Or Holland mongft the induftrious Netherlanders, 
They to deepe paffages would turne our hils, 
To Windmills they would change our watermils. 
All helps unto thefe rivers they would ayd, 
And all impediments fhall be deftroyed : 
Our vagabonds (the wandring brood of Caine, ) 
They would inforce thofe runnagates take paine, 
Whereby much profit quickly would accrue, 
(For labour robs the hangman of his due. ) 
In common reafon, all men muft agree : 
That if thefe Rivers were made cleane and free, 
One Barge, with eight poore mens induftrious paines, 
Would carry more than forty carts or waines. 
And every waine to draw them horfes five, 
And each two men or boye, to guide or drive. 
Charge of an hundred horfe and eighty men 
With eight mens labour would be ferved then, 
Thus man would be imployd, and horfe preferv'd, 
And all the Countrey at cheape rates be ferv'cl. 
'Tis faid the Dutchmen taught us drinke and fwill, 
I'm rare we goe beyond them in that fkill, 
I wifli (as we exceede them in what's bad) 
That we fome portion of their goodneffe had : 
Then mould this worthy worke be foone begun, 
And with fucceffefull expedition done ? 



John Taylors lajl voyage. 

Which I defpaire not of, but humbly plead, 
That God his bleffings will increafe and fpread 
On them that love this worke, and on their heires, 
1'heir goods and chattels, and on all that's theirs ? 
I wifh them bleft externall, and internall 
And in the end with happineffe eternall. 

In the moft part of my Journey, I came to few- 
places but their was to be found plenty of beggers, 
or Doggmaticall, Scifmaticall, full of Beggerly 
Rudiments, as the Apoftle faith, Galathians 4. Opi- 
nionated divers wayes ; and every one would have his 
owne fancy, to ftand for his Religion ; for they all dif- 
fer one from another, yet all joyne againft that which 
they have beene baptized and brought up in; In one 
place there is a blind old woman, and fhe repeates, 
and Interprets : in another a Pavier, and he will take 
upon him to mend the way. Then their is a Strange 
fellow (a Baker,) one light loafe and he will new bolt, 
fift, Knead, and mould Relligion. In another a quon- 
dam Brewers Clearke, (would faine be a Prieft) and 
Preaches moft wonderfully in a mault houfe, befides 
a zealous Sowgelder, that profeffeth moft defperate 
doclrine, Good Lord in thy Mercy looke upon us, 
and give us true peace and unity, both in Church and 



The Irifh Footman's Poetry. 

[Bohn's Lowndes, p. 2593.] 










In defence of Iohn the Swimmer. 


A Sur-rejoinder to the Rejoinder 

of the nifty Ironmonger, who endea- 
voured to defile the cleare ftreames 
of the Water-Poet's Helicon. 

The Author George Richardson, 
an Hibernian Pedejlrian. 

Printed in the yeare 1641. 


Ijp ^ 'SI* ^ ; ^ '^ ^ $$ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^* %^ '# %$ f 3if ' '*^ 





any part of the Kings 


JO more ( friend George) fhall wee fee 
Thee marching in the Infantr'ie, 
Now, thou haft gotten greater force, 
And mounted on the winged Horfe, 

After no charriot thou fhalt runne 

Henceforth, but that of Phaeton. 

H. F. 


the Pedeftrian Poet. 


Hen firft thy lines I read, I did admire 
Them like the learning of Promethean fire ; 

A 2 For 


For he, who knowes thee have fo little Art 

Could thinke that nature fhould fo much impart 

To raife thee to the height to vindicate 

Th'Aquatique Poet, from the furious hate 

Of weavers, tinkers, (through the nofe that whiftle) 

Ironmongers, and Brethren of the briftle ? 

Now truft me George, this work deferves fuch praife, 

That not to us but unto after dayes 

'Twill fay thou wer t a Poet of a maw, 

As great, as thy great namefake of the Law. 

W. B. 

To my ingenuous Countryman the 

,r I Ms ftranger you would goe fwift pac'd fteps 
X. And reft a ftrangers taske to undertake (forfak 
Doubtles you meane to ride hence forth ; this matter, 
Deferves a horfe, if not to ride by water. 


George Richardson the Authour 

to the mojl ingenious aquatique Poet Mr. 

John Taylor. 

Sir though a ftranger to your felfe, your worth 
Is knowne to me, by what you have fet forth ; 
And though I cannot judge, yet I admire 
The lively flames of your Phaebean fire ; 
Which wife-men doe approve, none doe deprave, 



But fuch as know not fancy, as this (lave ; 
Rufty, as his old iron, dull, as ftone, 
Or th'anvill, that his ware is wrought upon. 
Who ftupid (lave (by what hee never writ 
But bought for's money,) your undoubted wit, 
Would call in queftion, Sir, my infant mufe 
fSeing this flave perfift in his abufe ; 
And knowing, 'twould a great difhonour bee 
, For you to match your ingenuity 
With his notorious folly,) fpeedily 
Did undertake to make a fwift reply. 
Which (foone as my employment did allow 
Mee time,) in two houres fpace, I did run through. 

Upon the title of Walkers 

BEhold the Mailer peice of Walker's wit, 
Fancying his friend the Divell here at fhit. 
Who firft with malice did infpire his breaft, 
And then his firft Bookes matter did fuggeft. 
But t'is fome filly fiend fas fure as day,) 
The fame perhaps was made an Affe i'th play 
Long fince, but I'me deceiv'd, there's much brave 
I'th play, but Walkers bookes have none of it. fwit 
What are they fit for then, that onely raile ? 
Naught, but to wipe his fhitten Divels taile. 


His view of the transformed Divell. 

Hat wondrous raptures this our Author here 
Doth dreame of wine, who hardly ere 

(dranke beere, 
A 3 Or 


Or any thing fo mighty Horace's "Lire 

Tels us what drinke doth moft, what leaft infpire. 

2. His Pedegree. 

AMonftrous Birth ! fprong from the fheaves of 
Trefh'd out he mould have faid, for fure the great 
Father of this brave Sparke fome tough blade was, 
That cudgelled the corne, and flafh'd the graffe ; 
For fuch his bafe demeanour fpeakes him, I 
Doe not detract from the old family 
Of Bredfall all this while, nor doe I know 
Whether he bee extracted thence, or no. 
Oft 'tis of worthy families the fate, 
To fend fome Children forth degenerate. 
But by his manners hee mould rather bee 
Of that Ape Carriers affinity 
Hight Richard Walker, but call'd Cherry-lickam, 
Whom with his well taught-beaft I faw at Wickam 
Doing rare trickes, with many a lofty ftraine 
For England s King, but clapt his Arfe at Spaine. 
Told money, which his Mafter cannot doe ; 
Yet hee a Walker is, and Wanderer too. 
But lets admit our Libeller to bee 
Sprang from the wheaten Bredfall family, 
And that the Golden-fheaves that doe belong 
Vnto that family, this Ironmong- 
Er may juftly challenge for his owne, yet hee 
Hath armes, which better fit his quality. 


The Armes of his owne atcheivement 

A Gridiron paffant, on which lies 
A Libeller doth fimbolize 
A Cart, that doth up Holborne paffe, 
A fable trivet next, wee place 
In cheif, which you may eafily 
Conceive, doth Tiburne fignifie, 
To feeke a Rope weel'e not take paines,. 
For worft delinquents hang in Chaines,. 
Then for fupporters, there fhall ftand 
Two men as true as fteele, in hand 
They rufty Iron forkes fhall weild, 
Thus you may blazonize his fheild. 

2. His Difpojition. 

IS it not vaine ? to tax his mufe, that writ 
Of a bad Subjedr, to difcover it 
Vnto the heedles World ; that when they fee, 
The thing attir'd in it's deformity, 
They then may loath it, that before appear'd 
Pleafing to them, before the mift was clear'd. 
Taylor his whore, if rightly underftood 
Deferves much honour, 'twas his Countrie's good 
That fet his mufe on worke, the rogue fet forth 
In Spanifh, is a Booke of matchleffe worth. 
Which honeft men approve, hee that doth looke 
Awry on it, is Subject of the Booke. 



4. The Encounter. 

I Know 'tis not your cuftome, to abufe 
The peoples eares, with fancies of your mufe ; 
For where there's no invention, ftraines of wit 
Can have no birth, were you endu'd with it 
What monfters you'd beget alreadi's knowne 
By fathering of thefe are not your owne. 
But what you publifh here, if wee admit 
To bee your owne, Taylor thofe workes hath writ, 
That a juft Catalogue of them will fill, 
More leaves, then you have ftained with your quill, 
Leave then your oftentation, time ne're faw, 
An Eagle dar'd to combate by a Daw. 

5. His Religion. 
6. His Hypocrijie. 

I'Ve made a fcrutinie, but cannot find 
One word in Taylors Booke fhews him inclin'd' 
To Popery, 'tis true hee cann't approve 
Of Brownifts, nor the Familifts of love, 
Of Anabaptifts, nor of Adamites, 
Nor thofe inftrucT; their audience, when the lights 
Are out, and by their owne example too 
As well as precept, teach them what to doe ; 
Though Ir'nmongers or Feltmakers they bee, 
Or Coblers, or what els fraternity. 
This being all, 'tis ftraing hee not invites 
Your fpleene, that hath defcrib'd the Adamites, 
The Brownifts conventicle too that writ, 



But 'tis your envy to brave Taylors wit, 

Hee onely is accus'd, although they bee 

Guilty of as much Popery as hee. 

Your faith I doe not queftion, nor will make 

Much matter of argument, what fide you take. 

But Taylor's guilty of Hipocrifie, 

Becaufe hee did comply with miferie. 

A powerfull reafon ! fhame to vent fuch ftuffe 

Snuffers are fweeter ware, with unquencht fnuffe. 

7. The Church perfecuted by water. 

A Title (which doth promife at the leaft, 
A copious treatifej like that pregnant beaft, 
That travell'd with a mountaine, yet brought forth 
A litle molehill, fee the leffer worth ! 
Of this poore fellow, who can fcarce difcerne 
A difference, 'twixt him, did guide the fterne 
Of the great Barke oth'Church, and him that neere 
A bigger veffell then an oare did fteere. 

8. His weakeneffe in judgement 

NOw I doe pitty thee, that dares to tax 
Anothers judgemen? when more time 'twill 

Then was to teach the Affe to fpeake, affign'd, 
To render thy dull wits halfe fo refin'd, 
As the well-tuter'd Ape, that's Pupill to 
Thy name-fake Walker ; yet with much adoe 
Tha'ft made an Anagram of thine owne name, 
And an ^Enigma to thou think'ft, what fame t 

B Will 


Will not be due to thee ? well thou maift fcoren 
The Dung-hill Pamphlets thou fet'ft forth t'adorne 
With th' honoured fubfcription of the name 
That's grac'd, with fuch an heavenly Anagram. 


9. His horrible lies. 

Ne Diftichon is all the verfe ha's writ 
There's juft as many faults, as lines in it. 

10. My jincerity to England. 


F you affirme this with fincerity, 
Im'e confident in it wee doe agree. 

11. His humble Petition. 

WHat forward impudence is this ? to dare 
Before thofe noble Senators to appeare 
Clad in fuch ragges ? if ought 'gainft Church or State, 
Hee hath offended, with an equall hate 
I fhall purfue him, or tranfgrefs'd the lawes, 
And made unto himfelfe a guilty caufe, 
Or that it fhall appeare, in the leaft word, 
Hee hath traduc'd, that lov'd, and honour'd Lord ; 
But if o'th contrary it fhall appeare, 
His confcience and his judgement, were more clear, 
And that hee did nor Church, nor State traduce, 
Nor that moft noble Lord ; with leaft abufe ; 
Then Csefar-like, when Horace did acquite 
Himfelfe, before him, then, when 'gainft all right, 
A bafe officious Tribune did accufe 



The harmeles recreation of his mufe ; 
As, that in miftique Hieroglyphickes, hee 
Had plotted 'gainft the State, fome teachery ; 
Great Csefar gave the Poet, higher place 
In's favour, and the Tribune, the difgrace 
To weare a paire of Affes eares ; fo now, 
When thefe great Senators, on Taylor's brow 
Read innocence, his merrit they fhall raife, 
By giving thee the whip, and him the bayes. 

12. The Conclufion. 

ANd now friend Walker this, but to prepare 
My mufe to encounter, if you dare, 
With a foote-Poet, enter in the fand, 
You, as you have loft by water may by land. 


ALthough in Ireland / was born and bred 
In Englands Church I nourijht am and fed 
Therefore let no dull Brownifls apprehend 
That in defence of Popery I contend ; 
I doe efleeme both Seels as mofi a curfl 
But of the tway,n I thinke the Brownifl worfl. 


The Devil turn'd Round-Head. 

[Hazlitt, No. 80.] 




P L V T O become a BROWNIST. 

Being a juft comparifon, how the Devil is become a Round- 
Head? In what manner, and how zealoufly ( like them ) 
he is affedted with the moving of the Spirit. 

With the holy Sifters defire of Copulation ( if he would 

feem Holy, Sincere, and Pure,) were it with the Devill 


As alfo, the Amjlirdammian definition of a Familifi. 



T V R N'D 




E M N having fuffici- 
ently viewed the Epede- 
micall Spectacles of the 
World, and withall per- 
ceiving men, which ex- 
ceeded him in knavery, refolved him- 
felf to equiparate them in emulation. 
A 2 Yet 

Yet notwithstanding there were fo ma- 
ny Sects , that Pluto himfelf knew not 
which to elect to himfelf , or be con- 
formable unto. Firft, he began with the 
Puritans , but they were all in prepara- 
tion for beyond Sea , into new Planta- 
tions , efpecially into New- England ; 
that he thought moft of them were 
fafe enough under his tuition : then he 
proceeded on with the Brownijts , but 
fome were fo employed in Barnes and 
Stables, others (the Spirit moving them) 
were fo occupied among the holy Si- 
fters, that he likewife reputed them fe- 
cure in his own cuftody. Then thirdly, 
he calumnioufly appropinquated to the 
Round-heads , but they alfo were bufied 
about Cheap-fide Croffe, fo that he con- 
fequently ennumerated all into his own 
Catalogue : Till at length they became 
fo obftinate, that all the intereft, which 
before he prefumed to challenge in 
them, was totally oblitterated. 

Then he palpably began to fycophan- 
tize, and in a parafiticall pretence fup- 


pofed to introduce them to his own 
Satanicall opinions. Thus he bagan to 
affimulate himfelf unto a Round-head, 
and (like them) although he could not 
fwear, yet he could lie moft damnably. 
He did initiate with his Yea's and Ve- 
rily s fo conformably , as if he were a 
perfect Round-head. Then he proceeded to 
prune his horns , but he thought that 
their horns were long enough, and con- 
tinued therefore in that apparent fimi- 
litude : fecondly, he began to prune his 
hair, and cut it fo clofe to his skull, that 
it feemed like the Characters of an Am- 
fterdammian print : thirdly , he began 
to frequent the Woods, for he was fure 
that he fhould finde many of them in 
fome hollow trees : fourthly, he follow- 
ed Conventicles for there he had fome 
confidence to meet the holy Brethren, 
and Sifters together. Fifthly, he denied 
the Book of Common-Prayer , becaufe 
he would be correfpondent unto the 
Roundheads in every particular degree. 
But to have a more reciprocall affi- 


nitie with them, he would exclude the 
Bifhops, and all thofe who were of the 
Sacerdotall Function ; as alfo, thofe who 
were comonly called Cavaliers: He like- 
wife defired to be in the community of 
the holy Sifters, to the fructification of 
one another, and to their better edifica- 
tion. Moreover, he conformed himfelf to 
hate all good manners, all orders, rule, 
Orthodoxe Divinitie, rule and govern- 
ment in the Common-wealth and 
Church, for in their opinion they were 
all fuperftition and Poperie ; he denied 
likewife, all good works , Academian 
Learning, Charitie, and the publike Li- 
turgie of the Church of England, for he 
with them , conceived them all to be 
Idolatry, prophaneffe, and meer Ceremo- 
nies. He alfo confined himfelf to the au- 
dience of the He and fhe Lecturers, 
whofe fanctifi'd Divinity in plain fin- 
cerity is infpired from the holy fpirit. 
He moreover cropt his hair clofe to his 
ears, that he might more eafily hear the 
blafphemy , which proceeded from 


them , and he might increafe a more 
eager appetite of concupifcence at the 
afpedt of a younger Sifter : And laftly, 
that he might be in a perfect oppofition 
to the Cavalier. He loved the fharp- 
neffe of the nofe, becaufe it was prone 
to fmell out the favour of fome rich 
Saints Feaft : and that he might more 
fincerely pronounce the holy Word. He 
refufed all good works ; becaufe he 
knew them to be fo invifible, that they 
could neither be feen in this world, nor 
known in the world to come. 

Thus the Divell in every refpedl did 
affimulate himfelf to the abfolute com- 
parifon of a Round-head, and became fo 
conformable in every Degree unto 
them, that for his little Faith he fee- 
med Really fo to be. He feemed onely 
to differ in this, for he broke his horns 
and the Round-heads grew as long as 
their ears. Thus we may perfpicuoufly 
conceive, the diffufive diftraclion in our 
Church, and although Schifme abounds 
in fuch a redundant fuperfluity ; Yet 


we hope the Parliament will judiciouf- 
ly confider the fame, and let the Diftur- 
bers of the Time fuffer exemplary and 
condign punifhment, according to their 


Heads of all Fashions. 

[Hazlitt. No, 85.] 

Heads of all Fashions. 

A Plaine Defection or Definition of diverfe, 

and fundry forts of heads, Butting, Jetting, or pointing 
at vulgar opinion. 

And Allegorically fhewing the Diverfities of Religion in 
thefe diftempered times. 

Now very lately written, fince Calves-Heads came in Seafon. 

London Printed for Iohn Morgan, to be fold in the Old-baily. 1642. 




i. A Rouud-head, both at randome and couched. 

2. A Square head. 

15. A weake head. 

3. A Solid head. 

16. A Thicke head. 

4. An Empty head. 

17. A Thine head. 

5. An Hollow-head. 

18. A Plaine head. 

6. A Full head. 

19. A Forked head. 

7. A Deepe head. 

20. A Smooth head. 

8 A Great head. 

21. A Rugged head. 

9 A little head. 

22. A Logger head. 

10. A long head. 

23. A Narrow head. 

11. A fhort head. 

24. A Broad head. 

12. A Tall head. 

25. A Blocke head. 

13. A Flathead. 

26. A Light head. 

14. A Strong head. 

27. A Heavy head with fome other whole and halfe heads, 
To the gentle Reader, 

Dlftra&ed fame throughout the world fo fpreads, 
That monfter-like, fhe now hath many heads, 
A man can goe to no place, but mail heare 
Things that may make him hope, and make him feare : 
But I doe hope, and hope I will doe ftill, 
All mail be well in fpite of little Will, 
Or any of his Crew, farre off or neare, 
Whofe practices doe every day appeare 
Still more and more, the Lord fees how they deale, 
And doth their Plots and Projects all reveale ; 
Each City and each Towne, yea every village, 
Can fill us now with newes, we need not pillage. 
Tom Long and's men, rare tydings will relate, 
Some of high Powr's and Peeres, fome of the State, 
Some of Religion, or Church Difcipline, 
Some of this Bifhop, fome of that Divine ; 


Some of a Knot of villaines late found out, 
Heav'ns mend or end that bafe confpiring rout. 
Some brings us newes from Ireland, falfe or true, 
How ever all is calld both true and new, 
Within one day a man may undertake 
Briefe notes of thoufands feverall things to make, 
If he writes halfe what he fhall heare or fee, 
Newes-mongers now have fuch varietie, 
That let them make reports, till tyr'd or dumbe, 
Their laft newes fcarce is told, but newes is come 
To wait their next attendance to be fpread, 
By this meanes fame hath got a monfters head, 
Yea many heads, whereof I found a few, 
And here have laid them open to thy view, 
Perufe them all, in earneft or in jeft , 
And tell me which amongft them is the beft. 
If Round-head mould be found the beft to be, 
Farewell all other heads, Round-head for me. 
But gentle Reader, give me thy good word, 
And then I care not what Round-heads afford. 

Thine without hypocrifie. J. M. 

A Round-head at randome. 

WHen as the worlds foundation firft was laid, 
A Round-head was the firft head that was made, 
Adams head and Eves head were both as one, 
So all, each following Generation. 
That fince the time of Adam hath enfu'd, 
Hath formed beene to that fimilitude. 
All Nations farre or neare, ere knowne or found, 
Like Englifh men have had their heads ftill round, 
Why then fhould any at Rounds-heads admire ? 
Since all from Adam come our Great-grand-fire ? 
To anfwer this : thefe times are full of Gall, 
And there's no head , no man that can pleafe all. 
But as this head is underftood of late, 
Some hold it fcarce a friend toth' King and State. 
And fome fuppofe it, wherefo er'e it lurch, 
To be a great difturber of the Church 

A 2 

I can fay nothing, but as people fay, 
One might this Round-head otherwife difplay, 
A nd if youle have't more couched, more concifely, 
More puudtuall, more briefly, and precifely. 

Then thus ; 
I A Round-head is a man whofe braines compact, 
-/~\Whofe Verilies and Trulies are an Act 
Infallible, beyond the vaine compare 
Of ord'nary men, what ere they are. 
This head, though fometimes owned by a widgion, 
Can make new moulds to fhape a ftrange Religion. 

2 A Square-head is exact in many rules, 
Knowes Horfes, Affes, very well from Mules, 
He is in Aglebra, and Muficke skil'd, 

His braine-pans with a thoufand crotchets fil'd ; 
And yet of late as I have heard fome fay, 
He cant endure to heare the Organs play. 

3 A Solid-head is one whofe every part, 
Is furnifhed with nature and with Art, 
Hath all the faire endowments can be given 
By the aufpicious Stars or powers of Heaven : 
If this head be well guarded with Gods grace, 
Tit fit for Church or State, or any place. 

5 An Empty-head hath ftill a fhallow braine, 
Yer good enough to beare a Bifhops Traine, 
For that's now fallen full low, ev'n to the ground, 
Old Canterburies pride hath pul'd all downe : 
That little Will, together with the Wren, 
Hath pluckt the Pope almoft from out his den. 

4 An Hollow-head is one that is concave, 
Joyn'd to an hollow-heart makes up a Knave, 
This Hollow-head comes neere the empty Pate, 
Good wit doth feldome enter in thereat. 

He that the name of Hypocrite knowes well, 
This Hollow-head or Hollow-heart may fpell. 

6 A Full-head is full fraught with braines or guts, 
Whofe teeth are found, can cracke the hardeft nuts, 


His grinders are at beft, his eares and eyes 
Are firme and good, free from infirmities : 
His nofe is perfect, pure, and he can tell 
Which men are knaves, which honeft by the fmell. 

7 A Deepe-head head hath an apprehenfive braine, 
Dives far into the plots of Pope and Spaine, 

If well affe&ed to the King and State, 
And to the Gofpell, who can blame this pate ? 
Yet there are many now which nere knew Schooles 
Would raife up felfe-conceit, make wife men fooles. 

8 A Great-head may containe a world of wit, 
For there is roome enough to harbour it, 
Some mighty-headed pleaders I have knowne, 
And yet their Great-heads little Law have fhowne : 
But what talke I of heads ? it is the braine 
Enables them there cafes to explaine. 

9 A Little-head (if not with madneffe gored) 
May with much wit enriched be, and ftored, 
And then if well inclin'd towards God and King, 
How many great things may this fmall head bring : 
But ill difpofed (as many fuch there be) 

It brings the body to difgrace wee fee. 

io A Long-head cannot weare a little cap, 
The forehead is fo diftant from the nap, 
This head hath many whimfies in the Braine, 
Yet wonders much at Rome, at France, and Spaine : 
Thefe many plots have wrought againft our Land, 
But this Long-head hopes they fhall nere long ftand. 

1 1 A Short-head hath a kind of Brittle wit, 
Can underftand and breake J efts for a fit, 
His Pericranium being thin and tender. 

It followeth his Ingence muft needs be (lender .- 
He is not ftrong enough to be a Baker, 
Yet he may ferve to be a Comfit-maker. 

12 A Tall-head like a Pyramide or Steeple, 
Ore tops the common fort of vulgar people, 
Tis often on a Pimps broad fhoulders placed, 
And thinks it felfe with bufhy locks much graced. 

A 3 This 

This head is mounted up fo in the A ire, 
That there can nothing grow (I feare) but haire. 

13 A Flat-head is not puffed up with fat, 
But yet it is a downe-right head that's flat, 
It hath no braines ftrange projects to devife, 
Nor will be drawne afide by Toyes or lyes .• 

It wants a bulke for mifchieves there to fwarme, 
It doth fmall good, and it doth little harme. 

14 A Strong-head though it be not made of braffe, 
Remembreth every thing that comes to paffe 
Within the reach of's eye, his eare or knowledge, 
His Skull for skill, and ftrength may be a colledge : 
If he had beene a Fencer by his fate 

He would have fcorn'd to feare a broken pate. 

1 5 A Weake-head may ingenuous be aud witty, 
^dorn'd with fundry graces, but tis pitty, 

The frailty of this head doth now and than 
Make him forgoe the beft parts of a man : 
Bacchus into his braines may fometimes fteale 
And rob his fenfes of their common-weale. 

16 A Thicke-head is an head confolidated 
Quite oppofite, unto the hollow pated, 

The Frontifpice it had from Taurus browes, 
More thicke and wrinkled far then any Cowes. 
This head is fo fubftantiall, that a man 
May count it for an Oxe head now and than. 

17 A Thin-head be it empty, be it full, 
Tis but compofed of a Paper skull, 

The eyes are hallow and the cheekes are thin, 
The jaw-bones threaten to run through the skin : 
This head if you the face doe well examine, 
Like Pharoahs feven leane Kine, protends a famine. 

18 A Plaine-head is a plaine well-meaning head, 
Who as he thinkes no harme, no hurt doth dread, 
So quickly may be gul'd, for honeft men 

A re often cheated every now and then : 
This head is often free unto its friend, 
Yet many times tis cozen'd in the end. 


19 A Forked-head (if you the fame could uote) 
Is like the head of any Bull or Goate, 

Yet fome affirme that molt men of this kind 
Doe weare their homes (Ram-like) reverft behind : 
Heads of this fort in and about the City 
There are a multitude, the mores the pitty. 

20 A Smooth-head is his Daddies dainty boy, 
His mother cals him ftill her onely joy, 

His amiable countenance is clad 

With many feeming vertues; nothing bad : 

This Smooth-head hath an oylely tongue likewife, 

Can footh, and gloze, and monftrous thiugs devife. 

21 A Rugged-head is like a craggie mountaine, 
Whence churlifhneffe proceeds as from a fountaine, 
This rugged, crooked, crabbed, ill made mazzard 
Is obftinate, cares not for any hazzard. 

A world of follies this head liveth in, 
But yet prefumption is his greateft fin. 

22 A Loger-head alone cannot well be, 

At Scriveners windowes many times hangs three. 

A Country Lobcocke, as I once did heare, 

Upon a Pen-man put a grievous jeare ; 

If I had beene in place, as this man was, 

I mould have calld that Country-Coxeeombe Atte. 

23 A Narrow head is one whofe braines are couched, 
Into a little roome, may not be touched, 

With any Beere or Ale, or Wine, or Water, 
For then his wits forthwith abroad will fcatter, 
He is a filly fimple, puling foole, 
Knowes not the name of Learning, nor a Schole. 

24 A Broade head ( if on broader moulders placed ) 
Thinkes not himfelfe by any jeares difgraced, 
Scoffe, fcorne, and flout him, fo you picks not's Purfe, 
This head conceiveth he is nere the worfe, 

It were a fin to call him Cuckold thoe, 
Becaufe he doth beleeve he is not foe. 

25 A Blocke-head ( to make his affertion good) 
Is not fo calld, becaufe 'tis made of wood, 


This head confifteth not of many parts, 
Nor is it capable to learne the ^rts, 
Yet give me leave, now / doe all things fcan, 
This head in time may ferve an honeft man. 

26 A light head is full fraughgt with pleafant Ayre, 
Thinks well of every one thats fpeaks him faire, 
Hee's given to leaping, much, and much to dauncing, 
Curverting, jumpiug, vaulting and prauncing, 

This nimble head whofe father was no fumbler. 
May make a Dancer on the ropes , or Tumbler. 

27 A Heavy head is naught for complement, 
So full it is of griefe and difcontent, 

The penfive thoughts that this head doth conceive, 
May make the beft man all his meat to leave, 
He that is full of trouble, paine and forrow, 
May fee his dinner dreft, but eate to morrow. 

The Condufion. 

A world of heads more I could name to you, 
An Hogs head, Pigs head, and a Calves head too, 
A Jowle of Salmon too, is halfe a head, 
Which any man may well difgeft with bread, 
And next unto this Jowle of Salmon filh , 
A Swines Cheek is efteem'd an ex'lent difh : 
An Oxe cheek likewife is a difh of meat 
Which many an old, yonger, wived man may eate. 
Thefe heads and halfe-heads all are known for food, 
And I doe hold them to be very good : 
There alfo is a Sheeps head and an Affes, 
But this laft head moil of the reft furpaffes, 
For this in time by friends and loves increafe, 
May be chiefe Clarke t'a Juftice of Peace. 
But ftay rafh Mufe, why doll thou fo farre flie, 
Thou muft not meddle with Authoritie. 


Crop-Eare Curried, or Tom 

Nalh His Ghoft. 

[Hazlitt, No. 91.] 



TOM NASH His Ghost, 

Declaring the pruining of Prinnes two laft 

Parricidicall Pamphlets, being 92 Sheets in Quarto, 

wherein the one of them he ftretch'd the Soveraigne Power 

of Parliaments ; in the other , his new-found way 

of opening the counterfeit Great Seale. 

Wherein by a fhort Survey and Ani-mad-verfions of 
fome of his falfities, fooleries, non-fenfe, blafphemies, For- 
reigneand Domeflicke, uncivill, civill Treafons, Seditions, Incita- 
tions, and precontrivements, in Muftering, Rallying, Train- 
ing and Leading forth into Publique fo many Enfignes of 
Examples of old reviv'd Rebells, or .new devifed 

With a ftrange Prophecy, reported to be Merlins, or Nimjhag's the 

Gymnofophijl, and (by fome Authours) it is faid to be the 

famous Witch of EN DOR'S. 

Runton, Pollimunton Plumpizminoi Fapperfihandico. 
By J ohn Taylor. 


Printed in the year, 1644. 


\-apag. 8. lin. 20 jforbold,raw?i?bowld. //«. 25. for Penury, reade Penry.h\p.\$. 
line 29. for told, reade took. 

There are divers Latine words thruft into this mine Anfwer to his peftiferous 
Pamphlets, which words I neither underftand, know the Authours,orthanke 
themforit, as va.pag. 11 Jin. 5. and mpag. 1 8. lin. 30,3 1. CelarentorFleta, &-c. 


'^ITL" fn*" fnrpm mw*** nttm 

aj* ■r^c *ijgc ^ic *gt 




Crop-eare, &c. 

($&&Lfi f^M^k/Sf^^ 







N this Mad, Sad, Cold Winter of difcontent, 
About the end of Oclober laft 1643 , The 
Moone being near hir change, and obfcure in 
our Horifon, not one Starre appearing, the side 
(like an Ebon Canopie) muffled up the He- 
mifphear in an univerfall fable robe of Melan- 
cholly black, fo that darkneffe was made a 
Maske which hid the Mournfull vifage of our 
Mother Earth ; In and at fuch a time, when nothing was waking 
or walking, but Thieves, Lovers, Carefull mindes, Owles, Batts, 
Ghofts, Witches and Goblins &c. About the Wafte or Navel of 
the night, Drowfie Somnns came ftealing to me, and with his Lea- 
den Mace arrefted me, at the fuite of my old Lady Nox, which Ar- 
reft I obeyed by untying, unbuttoning, and quite undoing my felfe, 
and to bed ; Where fuddainly J winck'd at the faults of all the 
world, fhutting up the two fhop windowes of my Microcofme, & 
Hike a nimble Clothworker) I prefently fet a Nappe upon my 
Thredbare eyes. I had not layne long in this filent pleafing Em- 
brace of Mounfieur Morpheus but there appeared unto me a poore 
olde fwarty fellow, with ftareing haire, Negledted beard, Afhy 
Gaftly look, with a black Cloath Cloak upon his back, which hee 
had worne as thin as if it had been Searge, whereby I conceiv'd him 

A 2 to 


to be a Poet) I begun to be puzled with this ftrange Apparition, & 
ask'd him whom he was, and what his bufmeffe was with me. 

Quoth he, my name is Thomas or Tom Nafiie, who when this 
Ayerie fhadow of mine had a corporeall fubftance, I had a yerking, 
firking, jerking, Satiricall and Poeticall veine, Pegafus was my Pal- 
frey, the Mufes were my Minions, Tempe, Aganippe, the Thefpian, 
Helliconian and Cajlalian Fountaines did yeeld me Diurnall and 
Nofturnall Tributary Netlar: Fame and Defame were my Vaffalls, 
and I could make them both wait on whom I lift, I knew Honour, 
and I Honoured it , I fpurnd at Flattery, I lov'd Truth, I defpifed 
Riches, yet I liv'd and dyed Rich enough to be a Poet. And fo 
much fhall fuffice to tell the what I was. 

Now in the next place Il'e certifie thee whence I came , and 
what mine errend is : know this, that about the 30 th year of the 
Raigne of Renouned Queen Elizabeth, She and the Proteftant Re- 
ligion (which She defended and Maintaind) were opofed and troub- 
led with Heritiques, Papijls, Schifmatiques, Separatifts, Brownijb, 
Annabaptifts, Familijls, and Atheijls; All of thefe difagreeing, yet 
all againft the Church, and Government Ecclefiafticall and Civill 
here eftablifhed. Amongft thofe innumerable Locujls that then 
were fpewd from the Bottomleffe Pit, there crawl'd and fwarm'd 
over the Kingdome, a Crew of Rafcalls called Martinijls ; whofe 
Laxative Purity did moft fhamefully in printed toyes, Pamphlets, 
and Lying Libells, befquitter all England over with fuch poynts 
of Doctrine, as was never known by Chrift and his Apoftles. And 
thefe Martins Intituled their Pafquills by the Jmpudent and faw- 
cie names of Martin Mar Prelate. Thefe fcandalous Railings 
of theirs were then anfwered by as Grave, Wife, Learned, and 
Reverend men as England yeilded, and they were (by Scriptures, 
Fathers, Counfells, Divinity, Humanity, Learning, Wit, Wifdome , 
Truth, Senfe, and Reafonj Confuted ; but none of thefe were avail- 
able, for like Anvills, the more knocks they had the more obdurate 
they were ; infomuch that thofe Martins like Caterpillers encreafed 
moft peftiferoufly, 

I perceiving, that wifemen could do no good with thofe Vermin 
Began to take them in hand my felfe, & (whetting my Wits) I put 
fome Aquafortis and Gall into my Inckhorn, with which I wrote 
a delicate difcourfe of Martin Mar tone, and Mar to ther and with 

a meffe 


a meffe of Pappe with a Hatchet, I made the Neft of Mifchievous, 
Malevolent, Malignant Martins take their flight from hence into 
the Low Countries. 

But the venom of thefe Vipers was fo difperft and fcatterred in 
fundry places of this Land, that though my Satires whip had lafh'd 
their leaders from hence, yet the Impoftumated Matter of theirs 
was never thorough Ripe till now of late ; for now thou fee' ft they 
have Perfited their hellifh plots, their Pennes and Pulpits , have 
(under the pretence and fhew of Religion and Law) almoft over- 
thrown both. 

Wherefore, my well-wifhing and beloved friend Iohn Taylor, 
my Ghoft hath made a fhort fcape from Elifium, to ftirre thee up 
to Nip, and Whip, ftrip and Snip, thefe Matchlefse, Headlefse, 
Heedlefse Rebells, who are devided into three parts, Burtonians, 
Prinnians, and Bajlwickians ; for ti's certaine that from Burtons 
Divillity, Prinnes Illegall Law, and Bqftwicks poyfoned Pills and 
Pamphlets, the moft part of all the Horrid and Barbarous Impieties 
and Cruelties have proceeded, wherewith this Afflicted Kingdom 
is moft miferably oppreft and over run. 

Concerning William Prinne, he hath lately writ two damnable 
and deteftable Books, ftuft with as much Hipocryfie Villany, Rebel- 
lion and Treafon as the Malice of the Divell, and his own mifchie- 
vous braine could invent. The one is partly Titled The S O V E- 
raigne Power of Parliaments. The other, 
is called The opening of the Great Seale. 
Jack,(kind Jack) I Conjure thee to take this Railing fellow in hand, 
look upon his wicked workes, veiw his villanies, fqueese the Quin- 
teffence of his eighty and odde fheets of printed Confufion into 12. 
leaves in Quarto, that the abhominable charge of his worthleffe 
high priz'd Volumes, fat ten or twelve fhillingsj may by thee be 
Epitomized, Abreviated, and Curtall'd in Bulk, and price to fix- 
pence a peece. Feare not, go on Boldly, I will leave my Genius 
with thee, which fhall Infpire thee, and infufe into thee fuch Ter- 
rible, Torturing, Tormenting, Termagant flames and flafhes as fhall 
Firk, Ferret, and force Prinne and his partners run quite out of that 
little wit that is left them, and defperatly fave the Hangman a La- 
bour, farewell. 

This being faid, the Ghoft vanifhed, whereat I ftarted up, put 

A3 on 


on my cloathes, fell to reading the aforefaid bookes at large, & with 
my pen made this fhort following abftradt. 

Roome for an old empty Pageant, drawne by the Trojan (or Gre- 
cian Horfe) or rather by Smon,the inventer of that wodden Palfrey. 
But this Beaft claimes his pedigree from Bucephalus, and hath had 
his eares twice Crop'd, to bring him into the Capitall Roundneffe 
of the Fafhion, and (known to be fo full of mettle) was mark't (leaft 
he fhould be ftolne,) with two brands in the cheeks ; he braggs fur- 
ther to be defcended from Baalams Affe, and overdoes his Prede- 
ceffor in Imitation, for that Affe did reprove but one Prophet (for 
which he had a large Commiffionj but this animall, (Sawcily) re- 
proves all the Prophets without Wit, Reafon, Senfe, Order or lawr 
full Commiffion. This worthily mark't Iennet (like the Egyptian 
Afse that carried the Goddefse I/is) fo all the ufurping Major Pen- 
ningtons Magazin are inclofed in Prinnes four bookes (ox parts,) 
of the Soveraigne power of Parliaments, Ordered to be printed by 
the Fornicating Browniji M. John White, and confirm'd by the 
New broad Seale, (lately opened by himfelfe) And although three 
of thofe partes of his foure fbeing eighty fix fheets) printed clofe 
in large Quarto ; hath been foberly, folidly, and fully anfwered in 
lefse then one leafe in Quarto, by too worthy a writer for him 
to Reply upon, yet he ftill Brayes alowd, (like Apuleius his AfseJ 
cries out, no man dares or can anfwer him, becaufe it is done by 
Weight and not by Number, like a Scold at Billinfgate, is ready to 
cry for anger, becaufe no body will fcold with him ; wherefore, to 
falve or plaifter the poore fcorned wranglers credit, as alfo to fave 
his longing for this once, who defires to fee his own pidture by Re- 
flection in a looking Glafse, Sirrah Boy, bring me hither my pen- 
fill , for I have all the foure feet of the Beaft fure enough in the 
Trammels, that he can doe no hurt, with Kicking, and his mouth is 
muzzled with his new Great (ox Broad) Seale, that he is fure e- 
nough for Biting, and therefore let him frisk, and wince, and bray 
as long and loud as he lift, I will rub the Gall'd jade till he be fen- 
fible, and either cure him, or make him fee that there is no way but 
one for him, and that ere long his skinne muft come to Gregory the 
whit tayer ; and to that purpofe like a Dutch Limmer, I thus draw 
my firft line in the juft Simmetry ; and therefore have at the fore- 
leg of the beaft on the neare fide, as it is delineated in his firft part 



of his Soveraigne or Power of Parliaments. 

Firft, Sir to ommit your Imboft fwolne Tiles (to your four good 
parts) which are like the Gates of Mindus , large enough for the 
whole towne to run out at. I come to the preface of your firft part, 
wherein you fay That fome Members of Parliament Jnducedyouto 
enlarge that part of your Difcours, In this you are beleivd, for by you 
it was produc'd ; by them you were Induc'd, and by the Divell you 
were feduced both to begin, profecute, and finifh the whole frame 
and form of your formlefse falfities and fooleries, befides it is not to 
be imagined that any true Chriftian, Proteftant, or Loyall Subject, 
would either have induced, encouraged, approved, and rewarded 
your impious Studies and Voluminous paines taking, but only fome 
of the fweet Members : thus farre I allow you. 

In the thirty fecond line of the preface , you Protefl before the 
Great Iudge of Heaven & Earth, that you have wittingly maintaind 
nothing, but what your judgement and Confcience both, Byaffed to 
no Sinifler ends : Rub, Rub, hold Biafse, that which followeth, will 
fhew the Reader what your Bias'd Iudgement, CONS- 
CIENCE, is. And in the fixty firft line he protefts againe, That the 
effetling a?id reftoring of a bleffed Harmony of Peace and Quietnejfe, 
throughout our Kingdom , was one principall end of this his L abour. 
The end of your Labour, will certifie us the care you have in obfer- 
ving the truth of your great proteftations. And fo much for your 
preludium, face, or preface ; Now I proceed to the firft of your 4. 
Good parts. 

On his firft part of his Soveraigne power of Parliaments. In the 
fecond pag. 'tis faid that by A Declaration in Parliament (that 
is by a Faction in Parliament,) Commif/ions are granted to Papifts a- 
gainflLawtofecuretheKingin thefe Warres. And pag. 3. thatitis 
unfafefor his Maiefly to put Armes into the hands of papifts , and 
make ufe of them toprotecl the Kings perfon or Croivne. The Decla- 
ration we confeffe was out, but neither in nor out, by, or from, any 
power or Authority of a Parliament ; for all the world knowes that 
a Parliament is the higheft and moft Supream Court, of greateft po- 
wer, Veneration, Dignity and Authority, to which all other Courts 
muft fubmit , and from which Court there is no appeale on Earth. 
Furthermore a Parliament doth Confift of a King, all the Peeres & 
Barons of the Land, with the Knights & Burgeffes of every Coun- 


ty, Burrough aud Towne in the Kingdome ; fuch a Parliament hath 
Soveraigne power, whereof, and wherein the King is the Heade, & 
the two Houfes of Lords & Commons are the Body, which as long 
as the Head and Body are joyned, is the only higheft and Superlative 
Court, and hath the whole Soveraigne power in it ; and fuch an ho- 
nourable high, (yea higheft.,) Court and Senate was this , till fuch 
time as fome Factious Members, by fuffering Clamours, Routes, dif- 
loyal demeanours , and Tumultuous Affemblies and meetings, 
drave away the head to efcape danger & feek fafety, whereby partes 
of the honourable and Loyalleft Members followed, leaving behind 
them a few Factious, Ambitious, Rebellious Sectaries, who having 
no Head, or fcarce a good limbe, doe with headlefse and heedlefse 
impudence prefume to call themfelves a Parliament. And you Sir, 
with your Inck-fquittering Treacherous Pamphlets are the maine 
proppe and piller to uphold the foveraign unfavoury power of their 
Factious Conventicles. And thus have I breifly fhewed thee what 
is, and what is not a Parliament. And therefore the Declaration a- 
forefaid, is from the power of no Parliament, but that the King (by 
their leave) may make ufe of His Popifh fubjects, as the pretended 
Parliament did ('without the Kings leave) of Ireijh Rebells flaine 
at Worcefter, and their popifh Walloones, maintain'd to have Mafse 
at FulJiam, but according to your Rule (M.P.) one muft aske his fel- 
low if he be a theife, let you and your abetters be your own Iudges, 
& hange ye all if you condemn your felves, the cafe is altered, when 
Ploydens Bull is in the pound. I would have thee know that a papift 
is a thing that would live, and hath the fenfe to flee from danger and 
fome wit to avoyd it, he hath alfo the skill, meanes, and courage to 
fight and defend himfelfe, and he holds it better to ferve his King, 
under whom he hath fccurity and fhelter, fas long as he is Loyall) 
then to be inthral'd by you, from whom he can expect nothing but 
Ruin and deftruction. 

Concerning your long Treatife which you call the Treachery and 
Dijloyalty ofpapifts againjl their Soveraignes. Me thinks their old 
treacheries fhould be no prefidents for you or any man or Members 
whatfoever to be Rebells and Traytors. For as thofe Crimes in 
them do feem odious to you, fo your Villanies ftranfcending theirs,) 
cannot be made Amiable by any of your Sophisticating Legerde- 
maine Meanders. The powder riot, I confefse was Hells Maifter 



piece, but you have done your beft famongft you) to out-do it ; 
They that had a hand in it, (to the perpetuall brand and infamy of 
that Religion ) did all profeffe to be Roman Catholiques, but let im- 
partiall Truth be the Iudge, and it will be found that the Contri- 
vers and Aftors in that horrid Plot, were of no Religion at all, and 
that they ufurped the name and ftile of Chriftians, (as you and your 
Crew do the Titles of Proteftant and Parliament,) for the chiefe of 
them had run out of faire Eftates, by riotous feafting, drinking, 
drabbing, gaming, and all manner of profufe licencioufneffe, 
which when all was gone, and themfelves involved and precipi- 
tated into bottomleffe Debts, then they grew melancholy defpe- 
rate, and to raife their broken Fortunes upon the ruines of this mo- 
ther Kingdome that nurfed and bred them, devifed that abhorred 
and deteftable Plot ; fome there were of good eftates and fhallow 
capacities, who were feduced to aid with mony and meanes, by 
the perfwafions of Garnet and others, ('for fuch a Treafon, or 
fcarce any other mifchiefe cannot be plotted without the brain of 
a Jefuit, which makes very underftanding heads conjecture that 
Prinne, and his Faction doth hold correfpondency with them in 
thefe their abhominable unparalleld Treafons. ) Never was it 
heard or read that any, that profeffe to be Chriftians, did con- 
trive or attempt fo cruell , bloody , barbarous and execrable a 
Defigne ; therefore I conclude them neither Chriftians or Roman 
Catholiques, but meere Atheifts, Libertines, and incarnate Devils. 
But by this I may be drawn into fome fufpition, that I am popifhly 
addicted or affefted ; to which I anfvver, that the true Church was 
once at Rome, for Saint Paul, Rom. 1.8. gave God thankes through 
jfe/us Chrift for them all that their Faith was fpoken of fin fome 
Tranflations ) famous , or publifhed throughout the whole world : 
that faith Rome is fallen from, and in the ftead thereof, (he hath a 
Faith and Religion, fo intermingled with humane Traditions and 
inventions of men, which is unfafe for a Chriftian to liue and die in. 
But for all this a Proteftant muft not caft away all that is ufed at 
Rome, for they have God's Word there, they have the Scriptures 
there, which though they abufe, yet we have free liberty to ufe ; 
and it is not their Religion, or ours that are Proteftants, or any other 
who hold the Fundamentall points, grounds, and Articles of the 
Chriftian Faith, that can be compulfively thruft into the foules of 

B men, 


men, for an enforced Religion takes no root in the confcience, a 
perfwafive may, which made the Patriarch Noah, Gen. 9. 27. fay, 
God perfwade thee Japhet to dwell in the Tents of Shem ; here is a 
Prayer for God's perfwafion, not for mans inforcing the con- 

I have been the longer about this argument concerning the Pa- 
pifts, becaufe my nimble Antagonifts doth Cuckoo-like play upon 
the fame tone and tune. So much in anfwer to Prinnes firft argu- 

The fecond is page $. & 7. The Papijls have exercifed a greater 
power over Kings than this Parliament doth ; therefore this Parlia- 
ment may do what it doth. Well, confeft, fhake hands with the 
Pope, and be friends, we fee thefe Round-headed Boatmen row 
the fame way with the Romijh Rebells, howfoever like Cut-purfes 
they feem to quarrell one againft another, that they may make a fray- 
in the midft of a crowd unfpied. 

The third and fourth Arguments are, page 7. & 9. Some Kings 
have been forced to call Parliaments, and have been depofed by their 
Subjecls ; therefore all Kings may be forced to the like, and be de- 
pofed by Parliaments. Well, bold Brother, now we begin to per- 
ceive how your judgement and confcience is biaffed. Why couldft 
thou not as well juftifie the Devill ? Lucifer did rebell, therefore 
all may rebell, but I will helpe thee to a more concludent and figni- 
ficant Argument. 

Penury was tried legally at the Affifes, and hanged in Queen 
ElizabetJis time, for leffe Treafon than this, therefore Prinne ought 
to be tried legally, and hanged in King Charles his time for this 
Treafon. Alfo in the feventh Page and thirteenth line he mentions 
the depofing and death of Vortigerne, (a. wicked King) to bolfter 
out Treafons, and colour Rebellions againft a good King; alfo how 
Sigebert King of the Weft Saxons, was depofed and murdered ; 
and Ofred King of Northumberland likewife depofed ; Ethelred 
his next Succeffour flain by his Subjects at Cobre, and how the 
People expulfed Bernard and Ceolwulph Kings of Mercia, and the 
like they did to Edwin King of Northumberland: thefe feventh and 
eighth Pages are fufficiently fluffed with Treafons of great Anti- 
quity, fome of them a thoufand, and fome twelve hundred yeares 
old, which were done by wicked Subjects againft moft wicked 



Kings, fome of them Pagans, and not any of them a good Chriftian, 
and fome ufurpers that came to the Regall Dignity, by murdering 
the lawfull Heires ; fo that thefe prefidents are incerted by Prinne 
out of the damnable, inveterate, impertinent malice of his heart, 
for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth fpeaketh. And it is 
an infcrutable Quere, what mifchiefe Primie would not do, to do 
the King a mifchiefe. 

Page 5. line 39. He calls this our prefent Proteflant Parliament. 
It is approved by lamentable experience, that the word [prefent] 
is too true, but as for the Parliament, it is paft any good Subjects un- 
derstanding to know where it is ; it is confeft, that it was at Wefl- 
minfter, but Rebellion hath fcattered and mattered it into fo many 
places, that upon the matter it is in no place, but of this I have 
fpoken of before. It is alfo a tranfcendent ignorance and impu- 
dency in this fellow, to call this feditious Conventicle a Proteflant 
Parliament ; I pray thee, which way Proteflant ? Do they hold any 
Grounds, Maximes, or Tenets of the Proteflant Religion ? 'Tis 
mofh manifeft that the fix yeares Perfecution of the Proteftants in 
the bloody Reigne of Queen Mary never deftroyed and ruinated 
halfe fo many Proteftants, as tho{eBrowniflicall,zndAnabaptiflicall, 
bloody, tyrannicall Sectaries have done within thefe two yeares, 
for none but Proteftants have and do fuffer, and no Religion but 
the Proteftants is defpifed, derided, difgraced and trampled under 
foot, therefore neither Proteflant Parliament, or Parliament, or 

Now, Sir, to your fifth and fixth Arguments, from/. 19. to 32. you 
affirme that Popifh Parliaments, Lords and Subjetls, have by force of 
Armes compelled their Kings to confirme their Liberties, &c. and 
have affirmed, that when a Parliament zvas once met together, by 
lawfull Summons, it might not be diffolved or difcontinucd again at 
the Kings meere pleafure, and therefore this Parliament may do and 
defend the like. 

Proceed with your Popifh practices and pofitions, and fulfill the 
iniquity of your forefathers, yet you do not fo politickely as you 
were wont, to let the People fee whence you derive your pre- 
tended Authority for abufing your prefent Prince, Take heed, leaft 
they take up theProverbe, We have put down one Pope and set up ma- 
ny. Moreover inpag. 27. line 7. It was told King Richard the Second 

B 2 that 


that if he abfentedfrom the Parliament forty dayes, not being ficke, 
they might by Law rife or breake up. Though you have no more 
power to diffolve than call a Parliament, I pray, who forbids you to 
take the benefit of that Law ? who holds you but you may rife and 
break up ? It cannot be faid but you have rifen, (with a witneffe) 
to fuch an height of impiety and Rebellion, as no age or Nation 
can parallell ; and for your breaking up it hath been fuperlative, for 
there is no Law of God, or Nature, or Nations but you have broken 
up and down too ; and if Treafon, Murder, Burglary, Felony, 
were accounted any breaking of Lawes amongft you, and that you 
fhould all have legall Trials forthofe Crimes, Tlie Lord have mercy 
upon you, there are but few of you that could be faved by your 
Book ; therefore let your factious Conventicle rife, and gdhome to 
their houfes when they pleafe ; the King hath been abfent from 
them more than five times forty dayes, for it is almoft two yeares 
fince they drove Him from them, therefore they may rife, and yet 
never break up any Parliament. I remember in pag. 28. line 15. 
the Chefliire men are much beholding to Mafter Prinne for calling 
them Rude and beaftly People, (I wifh you would go in perfon thi- 
ther and tell them fo) becaufe they tendred themfelves as a Guard 
for the perfon of King Richard the Second, in a time of Rebelli- 
on, for which they are honoured ever fince with the Proverbe of 
Chefliire chief e of men. 

Pag. 33. to p. 42. His Arguments are concerning the power of 
Parliaments, and that the wlwle Parliament is greater than the King 
alone. They are fuch abfurd equivocations, as (although he ftill 
followes the footfteps of his Fathers the Papiftsj yet his Brethren 
the Jefuites would be afhamed of fuch kinde of arguing ; and 
therefore he doth wifely to conceale their Affociation ; for who 
knowes not, that the Parliament, that is to fay, the King, the Head, 
and the two Houfes, the Members affembled together, have a Sove- 
raigne and tranfcendent Power, and excelling Dignity ; but it 
followes not therefore, that the two Houfes confidered apart 
from their Soveraigne, much leffe a few Members (a fmall parcell 
of that part) are of like eminency and authority, no more than it 
followes, Mafter Burton a Divine, Doctor Baflwicke a Phifitian, 
and Mafter Prinne an utter-Barrefter flood all on thePillory,a.tid loft 
their eares, in one and the fame houre, for one and the fame Crime, 

/ of 


of railing, flandering, and feditious libelling, therefore Mafter Bur- 
ton, Doctor Baftwicke, and Mafter Prinne have all three one and 
the fame foule, fuffered all in one and the fame Body, Baftwicke and 
Burton loft their eares for Prinne, by way of fympathy or co-ordi- 
nation, (becaufe Prinnes Eares were loft long before) and tofe in- 
vicem fupplent : and any two of them have all the capacities of all 
three ; the Divine and Phifitian make a Lawyer, the Lawyer and 
Phifitian make a Divine, and the Divine and Lawyer make a per- 
fect Phifitian, this is Prinnes Logicke, by which he may prove his 
halfe Eares to be whole ones, and the Five Members to have as 
much power as both Houfes. 

In pag. 42. for his Anfwer to the Objection concerning the 
Kings abfence from Parliament, affirming, that He is abfent as a 
man, but prefent as a King ; it is as learned as that is loyall which 
juftifies the fhooting bullets at Him in his perfonall capacity, yet 
obeying Him in his Regall capacity, and I believe both had their 
originall from the fame Mafter of Sentences, The Spirit of the Aire 
which rules in the hearts of fuch children of dif obedience. 

In pag. 44. (5*45- Concerning his Arguments from Scripture, I 
will say no more, but when the Fox preaches, beware your Geefe, 
for I am fure the Devill had his Scriptum eft, (it is written) as well 
as he wrefts, mangles, and mifapplies it as ill as ever did the De- 
vill. If any Dirman pleafe to fearch, he fhall finde that the Devill 
hath but his due in this triall, betwixt Mafter Prinne and him- 

Pag. 46. to 112. As for his Law and Law-bookes, let him look 
them over again, (if he took them not upon truft) as he doth the 
reft of his Learning, from Indexes, Gloffaries, Covels Interpreter, 
Lexicon Juris, &c. And he fhall finde, that they never attributed 
the moft abfolute and fupremeft Power of Head and Bodie (to ufe 
his own phrafe) to the Parliament, but when it is a perfect true 
Parliament, confifting of the Head, the King, as well as of the Bo- 
die, the Houfes; nor would any man that is not as headleffe as Prinne 
is earleffe, have been fo heedleffe in his own Authours, let all men 
that mean to be coozened become Prinnes Clients, he fhall vouch 
Book-law enough, but not one law-cafe to the purpofe ; witneffe 
his inftances of the Parliament lawfully depofing the King ; and of 
the Parliaments power to difpofe the Kingdome to what Family 

B 3 they 


they pleafe, and the like; he that wants a Kingdome, let him come 
to Prinnes market, he will affoord large penniworths, now he fets 
Kingdomes to fale, any man may buy one, or if he miffe, he fhall be 
fure to have Bulls enough at a cheape rate. 

Pag. 5 1. & lin. 33. He faith, King Edward the Confeffour, took 
his Oath at his Coronation upon the Euangelijls, and bleffed Re- 
liques of 6". 5. (what is all that to King Charles'?) indeed Prinne and 
his Members are worthy to have a King that will fweare by Re- 
liques, for with a moft treacherous diffidence, they will not believe 
a moft gracious Chriftian King, that hath often fworne and proteft- 
ed by the true Almighty God to defend and maintain the true Pro- 
teftant Religion, the Lawes of the Land, the Subjects Libertie and 
Right, with all the Priviledges of Parliaments, all which Oathes 
and Proteftations his Majefty hath never broke, though a crew of 
perfidious Villaines do flander Him moft traiteroufly, with the 
afpifh venome of their viperous Tongues, the peftiferous poyfon 
bawl'd, belch'd, and vomited from hireling Schifmaticall Preach- 
ers, and the Preffes being oppreft with printing of infamous Lyes, 
and Libells, for which (no doubt) but your great Mafter, (the Bur- 
geffe of Barathrum, as fure as George Peard is Burgeffe of Bar- 
Jlaple) who fet you on worke, will not faile to pay you your 

In pag. 52. that William Conquerour took his Oath before the 
Altar of the Apoflle S. Peter : this is as fuitable ftuffe as the reft, 
but me thinkes Prinne fhould not name an Altar, without an H. 
and if the Apoftle knew you gave him his juft Title of Saint, it is 
unknown how kindly he would take it ; but diminitive mighty 
Ifaak with your Task-mafters (the Members) that fet you on 
worke would utterly diflike your utter Barrefterfhip, for daring to 
Saint any Apoftle or Saint whom they by their Votes have un- 

Pag. 79. He urges the depofing of King Edward the Second, 
and in pag. 80. he makes another traiterous prefident of the depo- 
fing of King Richard the Second, but he never mentions the mif- 
chiefes that this Kingdome endured by thofe wicked paracidicall 
Villanes, I will reckon a few of them. 

Firft, Parfon John Ball with Wat Titler, Jack Straw, and Jack 
Shepheard, arofe in rebellion, &c. A nno 1379, murdered Simon Sud- 


bury Archbifhop of Canterbury, for which infurrection and mur- 
der 1500. Rebells were hanged in feverall places, look to it Prinne 
one place will ferve your turne. 

Anno 1450. One Blewbeard was a Captain of Rebells, but 
they were quickly foil'd, fome hanged, and fome taken, and for a 
token of remembrance, James Fiennes Lord Say, then Lord Trea- 
surer of England, was found guilty of many Treafons, and hand- 
fomely hanged, in the 29. yeare of King Henry the Sixth. 

After that, Jack Cade a Bricklayer, and withall a counterfeit 
Mortimer, did then, as fome of his Tribe do now, tax the King 
with evill Counfellours ; thus cade raifed an Army of Rebells, 
which were not fuppreft without the loffe of 5000 men, befides 
other outrages committed. 

Anno 1454. At the Battaile of S. Albans, betwixt the Yorkifts, 
and Lancastrians, King Henry the Sixth loft 8000 men, and the 
Duke of York 6000' 

At Blore-heath field in Shrop-Jhire, 1459, between the King and 
the Earle of Warwick 4000 men flain, the 38 yeare of Henry the 

At the Battaile of Northampton, 3000 men were flain, between 
Queen Margaret and the Barons, and there King Henry the Sixth 
was taken prifoner. 

At the Battaile of Wakefield Queen Margarettold RichardHxike 
of Yorke and beheaded him, 4000 men flain. 

Anno 1460. At the Battaile of Towton, Queen Margaret 
brought into the field 60000 men, and King Edward the Fourth 
had 49000 in which fatall Battaile 36000 men were flain. 

Anno 1462. At the Battaile of Exham in the North, between 
Queen Margaret and the Lord Marques Mountacue 16000 men 
were flain. 

Anno 1467. At the Battaile of Banbury, the 7. of King Edward 
the Fourth, between William Herbert Earle of Pembroke, and 
Queen Margarets Forces 7000 flain. 

In the 9. of Edward the Fourth, at the Battaile of Lofe-coatef- 
field in Lincoln-Jhire betwixt the King and the Barons 10000 

At the Battaile at Teuxbury, Prince Edward eldeft fon to King 
Henry the Sixth was ftabb'd and murdered, and 3000 flain. 



And laftly, at the Battaile at Bar net betwixt King Edward and 
the Earles of Warwick and Oxford, who were both killed and 
ioooo flain, the King being Vi£tor. 

This I have inferted by way of digreffion, to fhew how the 
Divine vengeance was the reward for the depofing of a lawfull 
King, for fo all the world knowes Richard the Second was ; above 
eighty yeares was this wofull Land an unnaturall bloody Thea- 
tre, wherein Engli/h-men againft Englijh-tnen did act all manner 
of unchriftian cruelties, in which Diffention more than 60 of 
the Blood Royall were flaine, befides others in abundance of 
Nobility and Gentry, as alfo more than 125000 common Souldi- 
ers, as our Hiftories relate, and to fuch a paffe as this hath Mafter 
Prinne and his Faction done their beft to bring it to againe, as 
within thefe three yeares they have prettily begun and profe- 

Page 87. He quotes the falling away of the ten Tribes from Re- 
hoboam for a prefident for Rebellion, page 88. all along he mentions 
the depofing of wicked Popes, page 9. he repeates the words of Cai- 
phas, That it was expedient that onefliould die for the people, (though 
a King, yea Chrift the King of Kings) that the whole Nation perijh 
not, rather then the whole Nation perifh for him. O thou blafphe- 
mous beaft, Doeft thou fo farre hate the Lord's Anointed, as to 
juftifie the crucifying of our Saviour, in expreffion of thy malice to 
thy Soveraigne ? Good Sir, there is no fuch neceffity that either the 
King or Subject fhould die one for another, or that they fhould fo 
much as diftafte each other, nor had this lamentable Diftra&ion 
been between them, but that your delicate Mafter the Devill hath, 
by your meanes, fet them at Divifion. In his 91. page he fpeakes 
fome Truth, That the King hath not power to tyrannize over his 
Subiecls, or to oppreffe them with perpetuall irremediableT&zw^ 
Good Mafter Gandergoofe, 'tis confeft, that the King hath no fuch 
power, nor ever did he exercife any fuch Tyranny as you talke of, 
but you and your Accomplices have ufurped a Traiterous power to 
your felves, whereby yee have tyrannized over his Majefties Sub- 
jects in more favage and barbarous manner than Turkes or Tartars 
would have done, page 92. Prinne fpeakes a parcell of non-fenfe in 
capital Letters, It is lawfull for the people (fubmitting themf elves) 
to fubfcribe the King and his Succejfours what Law they pleafe. 


O ! what might this fellowes Head be worth at a hard Siege, when 
one of his Brothers Heads was fold at Samaria for 80 pieces of Sil- 
ver, 2. King. 6. 25. 

P a g- 97- he faith, that King Edward the fixlh, and Queen Eliza- 
beth did hold their Crownes by Parliamentary title, rather then by the 
courfe of common Law. Baw waw, indeed their Legitimacie was 
objected againft by fome opulent Papifts, becaufe their Father the 
King had married the Lady Katherin, who was firft his Brother A f- 
thurs wife, and after 2 1 yeares marriage, the King caufed her to be 
divorc'd from him, and he marrying other wives in her life time, 
the Childrens Right (by birth) was by fome Malignants queftio- 
nable; to cleare which doubts, the King caufed their Legitimacie to 
be confirmed by A6t of Parliament, and fo much in Anfwer to that 
abfurd Treafon. 

Pag. 1 01. he faies, Charles the third, Emperour was depofedby the 
Princes, Dukes, and Governours of Germany becaufe he was mad. 
Surely thou art not well in thy wits, to meddle with that mad Em- 
perour, whofe madneffe or depofing concernes neither thee nor thy 
mad Caufe thou prateft and Heft fo in ; then he talkes of Wenceflaus 
the Emperour, and Childerick King of France, how they were both 
depos'd ; And yet in the 104 pag. he confeffes, the King hath no 
Peere, He is not to have a Superiour, and that the King ought not to 
be under man, but God. If Jtiflice be demanded of him by way of Pe- 
tition, (becaufe no Writs runnes agpinft him) if he doe not Iuftice, 
this punifhment may befufficient to him, that God will revenge it ; and 
yet prefently again he faies, the Parliament is above the King. Thus 
you fee how fometimes the Devill gives him leave to fpeake truth 
againft his will, though prefently he fall from it againe, as being not 
toothfome ; was ever fuch a Crop-eard Affe, that would thus con- 
tradict himfelfe ? In the 106 pag. he faies, the Emperours had not 
highefi poiver in Rome, and yet he cannot deny that Saint Paul ap- 
peal'd to Ccefar, from v/hom there was no appeale. 

In the 1 1 2 and laft page, he calls the Rebells that the Kings For- 
ces took at Ciceter, good People, he complaines much of their hard 
ufage, (I think he meanes becaufe they were not hanged) it was 
winter, he faies, and that they were forced to goe barefooted in Tri- 
umph to Oxford, truly we are beholding to your Fa6tion for the kind 
entertainment you have given to the Kings good Subjects when 

C you 


you have taken them, you have either lovingly cut their Throats in 
cold blood, or courteoufly hang'd the, or hofpitably famifh'd them, 
freely imprifoned them, bountifully rob'd and plunder'd them, and 
favourably banifh'd, ruin'd, and undone them, and all this and more 
you have done for the Liberty of the Subje6t, by the command of 
the Publique Faith. Moreover he faies that the good People from 
Cirencefter were Chain 'd together with Ropes ; that's a Bull, Sir, 
I doubt not, but there will come a time, when young Grigge fhall 
teach thee in a trice ( with a trick that he hath ) what the diffe- 
rence is betweene a Chaine and a Rope ; and fo I leave Repea- 
ting and Paraprafing any more on Prinnes moft matchleffe, firft 
of his foure Proditorious parts. 

The Reader may wonder why I fpend no more Paper about the 
firft part, and I doubt all his whole Book is not worthy of fo much. 
But I affure you when I had furveyed every limbe of the Monfter, 
and pared of the excrefcences, I had much adoe to finde thus much 
considerable matter in it, yet I am refolved to doe him the honour, 
and afford him the patience, to view his fecond part, if it be but for 
love to his new Hebrew word ('the Militia) for if his Brethren 
understood that it were Latine, the language of the Beaft, they 
would never endure the ufe of it. 

An Anfwer to Prinnes fecond Part of his Sove- 
raigne Power of Parliament. 

IN his Preface he complaines of Ignorance, fall ungratious Boy 
doft thou raile againft thy Mother !) infuch as underjlandnota 
Parliament, and that his Books (he hopes) will beget afirme Peace ; 
Indeed he that made light out of darkneffe, is able to produce good 
out of evill ; but how Prinnes Bookes (fluffed as full of lies as lines) 
wherein every word breathes Treafon, every fyllable incites to 
Rebellion, and the whole Chaos and confufed maffe of it is an un- 
fhap'd lump of all the Villanies, Affaflinations, Murders, Treafons, 
Rebellions, Depofings, Imprifonments, and all the calamities that 
hath befalne to infortunate Kings and Princes, in all Nations, either 
Chriftians or others, fince the worlds creation ; at leaft as much as his 



treacherous ftudious fearch could finde out, he hath pack'd and hud- 
led together, purpofely to root out and ruinate His facred Majefty 
and Royall Pofterity, to raife a never ending Contention, and to 
make His Majefties Dominions perpetuall fields of blood ; thefe 
are the marrow, pith, and intention of M. Prinnes fweet Peace- 
making Bookes. At the latter end of his Preface, he ufes a piece of 
the Letanie, faying, Good Lord deliver us. But I wifh him to take 
heed that it come not to the hearing of the Members, or the Clofe 
Committee, that he fpake fuch words, for then he will be miftaken 
for a Protejiant, and fo excluded from all grace, favour, and com- 
munity with the godly. 

Pag. 3. In this fecond part you may finde out of Prinnes owne 
Confeffion. Firft, conveniency, fecond neceffity, and thirdly cu- 
ftome ; all concurring for the Kings ordering of the Militia. Take 
heed M. Prinne what you fay, for if M. Saint- Johns, and your Ma- 
fters of the higheft lower Houfe heare you, they may perhaps occa- 
fion a conference betwixt you and Tom Najh his Ghoft, to be cryed 
up and downe the ftreets, as they dealt with your betters before 
you ; and if your good Miftreffes in London underftand it, farewell 
all further Contribution, your late Triumphant Bayes, will be turn'd 
to Funerall Ewghe, and if you can mend the matter no better, then 
you doe, by begging the Queftion and arguing fo barrenly, to wit, 
that it muft be granted, that the whole power of his Majefty, and his 
Predeceffors, in the Militia, was derived from the Parliament. This 
ftuffe he treates on, from the third pag. to the twelfth, wherein he 
croffes all that he faies in the third pag. formerly repeated, but if 
you can confirme your fine flourifhes no better then by Equivoca- 
tions, Amphibologies, and myfticall Sophifticall Fallacies, by one 
while taking the Parliament for King and People, fas in the ufuall 
fenfe it ought to be taken and the Lawes made by them all ;) And 
another while making ufe of the word Parliament , in your owne 
fenfe onely, for the two Houfes in contradiction to the King; your 
Grant muft be onely, to have and to hold, fixe foot in Knaves Acre, 
under an overthwart beame, for you hate the name of the Croffe, 
on the higheft Promontorie in the Province of Fooleiana ; or if it 
light in the line of Communication, as a fpeciall part of that Pro- 
vince is fcituated neare to them, then your Grant may be to have 
asmuchroomefor your Quarters as you had for your Eares, and that 

C 2 your 


your Head maybe mounted on London Bridge, and made one of the 
overfeers of the City, which by your writings feemes to be a fpe- 
ciall part of your Ambition, I am fure a juft Reward of your moft 
unmatchable undertakings. 

Rag. 12. As for the confequence of denying His Majefty the Mi- 
litia, and of the Parliaments feizing upon Hull, with other Ports, 
Forts, the Royall Navy, Armes, Ammunition, Revenues, and 
detaining them ftill from His Majefty, which you fay, His Ma-i 
jejly and all Royalijls mujl neceffarily yeild, nay you mould have en- 
treated to have them yeilded out of curtefie, for elfe you can never 
inforce them, are not his, but the Kingdomes, in point of Right and 
Intereft, they being firfl transferd to, and placed in his Predeceffors, 
and himfelfe by Parliameut. Here is an excellent proofe. 

Weaker then that of Tenterton Steeple being the caufe of Good- 
wine Sands, for fay thofe Logitians, there were no fuch dangerous 
Sands, before that Steeple was built, or funke, fo that Steeple was 
the caufe of thofe Sands, but I can conclude more direclly and con- 
trarib, as thus ; 

The Kings of England had alwayes power over the Militia, ever 
fince England had a King there ; 

But there was a King of England, before there was any Parlia- 
ment, and fo foon as there is ftory of any people in England; 

Therefore the Parliament gave not the King of England power 
over the Militia. 

If the ftory of Brute be true, my Maior cannot be falfe, if any 
Chronicle of England be true, my Minor will not faile ; how then 
the conclufion can be denyed I perceive not, except in the difputa- 
tion betwixt the Collier and the Divell, which I leave to Primes 
Logick to refolve, and reduce the Contradi&ory by ImpoJJibility, 
which if he doe not in Celarent, he cannot efcape doing it in Bocar- 
do, where I leave him to read over his Fleta, it may teach him more 
Law and Confcience then to excufe the Rebellion in England, by 
a Rebellion in Ireland of their owne making, as that is the belt co- 
lour which yet this Brazen face can caft upon it. 

Pag. 25. and 26. he comes upon us with a drove of Bulls, of his. 
owne ufuall Breeding ; Tliat tlie Parliament ('meaning the two 
Houfes onely) cannot be guilty of Treafon ; fecondly, that the Sta- 
tutes againjl Treafon extends not to them ; thirdly, that they are grea- 


ter then tJie King ; fourthly, that the Oathes of Allegiance and Su- 
premacy bindonely in Relation to the Pope and Forreigne States, but 
not with reference to the Houfes ; or onely out of Parliament time, 
notwhilefl the Parliament is fitting; Thefe are fuch Mockado Fu- 
flian Nonfenfe, and fuch filly Childifh fhufflings, as that the fenfe 
in plaine Englifh, is to fay, That the King hath Authority againft 
other Princes, but no power over his owne Subjects, or that thofe 
in his owne Realmes are his Soveraignes, and other Soveraignes 
are his Subjects ; or when he confults the moft carefulleft for the 
good of his Kingdomes, he defires to be requited by being unking'd 
by them ; fuch ftrange Paradoxes, abfurd Solefifmes, and monfters 
of Policy, Morality, Reafon, Nature and Religion, are the orF-fpring 
of this new State Emperick; who perhaps expects other applaufe, 
or, at the leaft, Approbation, as he is affured of his owne NarciJJian 
admiration, onely becaufe he fees but the fhadow, underftands not 
the fubftance of what he fuperficially delineates , by a Pen that 
drops Poyfon inftead of Inke, to fupport the pretended Feares and 
Iealoufies, by an enumeration and malitious interpretation, of all 
the acts of Iuftice fince the third yeare of his now Majefties Raigne, 
upon thofe who were reftrained from bringing this Rebellion foo- 
ner to the Birth ; give Prinne but fuch another Fee as he had at his 
Triumphall Returne to London, and he will be an Advocate for 
thofe in the third of Iacobi, and for thofe in the 13 of Queene Eli- 
zabeth; yea for Ravilliac, Iudas, and Lucifer, for all were but Re- 
bells and Traitors, onely one was a little elder then the other ; Thus 
from the 25 pag. to the 40. he reckons up a pack of grievances, 
wherewith the Subject was charged , which were all redreffed, 
long agoe, aiToone as His Majefty was rightly certified of them ; but 
no Acts of Grace can procure an expiation from inexorable Ma- 
iler Prinne. 

But why trouble I my felfe to fatisfie one, whom Reafon cannot 
fatisfie, one, whom no Proteftations, or Oathes of Princes, no Acts 
of Grace or Statutes paft in Parliament can fatisfie, and therefore 
let him reft unfatisfied till he be hanged. He is ill to trufl who will 
trujl no body , the Proverbe tells us ; yet for this once , let him 
goe on give him Rope enough, and he will hang himfelfe ; In his 40 
pag. he faith, the King hath no power to chufe his Privy Councel- 
lors ; but Prinne and his Magnificent Members, would have the chu. 

C 3 fing 

fing and authorizing of new Privy Counfellors, and Officers of 
State, for thofe, he tells us, his Utopian Parliament hath power to 
appoint, fyet the King may not chufe or appoint any of them their 
fervants) he fhould have added in time of Rebellion. In pag. 41 to 
64. and fo from thence to 65 and 79 he prates ( to little or no pur- 
pofe) that the King hath no Negative Voyce, but what the undecei- 
ved Majefty of the vulgar, Captaine Highfhoes, and Colonell 
Mawworme, and their companions pleafe to propofe muft be grant- 
ed ; who, till thofe can agree whether the Lord Say or the right hor- 
rible Kimbolton fhall be Protector: his Excellency or the Lady Wal- 
ler high Conftable of England, Pym, or Prinne (iox I hope he will 
not plead all this while for other folkes and forget himfelfe) Lord 
Keeper of the new great Seale, Sergeant Wilde,ov Speaker Lenthall, 
Mafter of the Rolls, Burton or Mar/hall Archbifhop; for that calling 
would be as lawfull in one of their hands, as the Court of Wards 
was when the Lord Say was Mafter of it,) Peard, Glinne or 
Prideaux chiefe Iuftices ; Feilding or Stamford, (for they are both 
vertuous and thrifty men) Lord Treafurer; I would entreat War- 
wicke, to provide for his owne and their fecurity in the Admirall 
Ship of Fooles, and wifh a faire Gale for them as farre as New- 
England, till they fhall learne more fmcerity in Religion, more loy- 
alty to their Soveraigne, more charity to their Chriftian Brethren 
and Prinne ceafe falfifying and perverting Records, Prefidents, and 
Allegations ; and then a Property maker hath promifed to reftore 
his Eares againe ; in the meane time, let him confeffe himfelfe wor- 
thily Branded for Falfifying, Lying and Slandering (even Scandala 
Magnatuni) Forgerie, Falfe witneffe bearing, Perjury, and all man- 
ner of Villany, with which his Bookes fwarme as thick, as the low- 
er Houfe doore did with Brownijls & Anabaptijls at the beginning 
of this Parliament, or as Wejlminfter-Hall and the Pallace yard did 
with Tumults before the death of the Earle of Strafford, or the put- 
ting the Bifhops out of the Houfe, or as the high wayes and ftreets, 
did with Puritan Punks, when Prinne and his fellowes (S* Rebells) 
return'd from Limbo to be Canoniz'd at Lo7idon, which City they 
have ever fince transform'd to be a Hell upon Earth. 

Further fto roote the feduced people in diflike of his Sacred Ma- 
jefty, and to make them Irrevocable Rebels, as alfo to blaftthe In- 
tegrity of his Majefties Royall Perfon, his Honourable Councel- 



lours and Servants,) he names Ganejlone and the Spencers, Empfon 
and Dudley, and others that were difplaced by Parliaments for De- 
linquencie; 'tis right William, but thofe Parliaments had proofes for 
what they did, and the King was with them, and confirm'd their 
cenfures.- but you are not fo much as the bares Skelliton of a Parlia- 
ment, which if it were a full Body, yet it wants a head, therefore all 
your Votes and cenfures are Headleffe. 

Page. 48. his running head talkes of a Parliament in Running 
Mead, (near Wind/or) wherein King John Affented to fuch A6ts of 
fetling and fecuring Magna-Charta, and all other good Lawes and 
Liberties formerly granted. I tell thee Prinne, that King Iohn did 
well in fo Affenting to his Peeres and Commons, for then and there 
their requefts were juft and Lawfull ; neither did King Charles (a 
more Chriftian and furer Titled King, then King Iohn) ever deny 
his Royall Affent to any juft requeft for the Redreffe of greivances, 
releife of His Subjects, and Tranquillity of his Kingdomes. 

Page 55. He hath a fling at Alice Pierce, King Edward the 
Third's Concubine, 'tis marvell that Rofamond and Jane Shore 
fcap'd him, and it had been as congruent for him to have brought in 
Lais, Thais, Fauftine, Meffalina, and all the rabble of royall and 
bafe Whores that have been fince the Creation ; for what though 
Alice Pierce (being her felfe proud of the favour of fo puiffant a 
King) did fometimes, with impudent and uncivill behaviour in- 
trude her felfe to fit with the Iudges on the Bench, to countenance 
and preferre fome private Caufes for her own ends or her friends ; 
to which I anfwer, that the Iudges were either bribed Knaves, or 
timorous Fooles, in fuffering fuch a Coapefmate to fit with them 
upon any termes of right or wrong. But to what purpofe this 
Gentlewoman (who was dead and rotten 250 yeares before King 
Charles was borne) fhould be raked up as a Teftimony againft Him 
now, this is a meere Riddle to me, and is a taske for an Oediptis 
onely to unfold. 

Page 75 . The King cannot by his Prerogative lay the leajl Tax 
upon any of his Subjects ; but, I pray, what authority or Preroga- 
tive have you, and your potent Members to rob, fpoile, and plun- 
der the King and all his good Subjects, who is fo juft, mercifull, 
and chafte, that neither the Devill nor any of the Members have 
dared to fay the contrary ? there's a bone for thee to picke. 

Page 78. 


"Page 78. Prinne (like an unmannerly Fellow) calls the famous 
Generall Jack Cade Rebell and Traitour ; I pray Sir, moderate your 
paffion, for me thinkes, fellowes fliould agree, and when Thieves 
fall out, &c. You know the Proverbe. 

In page 79. That the affirming the Petition of Right, the Bills for 
Trienniall Parliaments, the continuance of this, tlie A£ls againfi 
Ship-money, For eft bounds, illegall, new-invented grievances and op- 
prefjions, the Statutes for fuppreffion of Star-chamber, High Com- 
mifjion, Knighthood, Bifhops votes : although the King hath done 
all thefe and more, yet this Scarrab Cadworme fayes, that The 
King's Grace is not eclipfed, to fay, They are no A6ts of Grace, but 
A6ls of Oath, Duty, Law, and Confcience. Thus doth this filthy 
Varlet moft traiteroufly beflubber the goodneffe and gracious fa- 
vours of a matchleffe and unparalleld Chriftian King. 

And thus you have the fumme and fubftance of his fecond part 
of the Soveraigne Power of Parliaments. 

Vpon his third part of the Soveraigne Power of Parliaments. 

ALthough his third and fourth parts are already anfwered by the 
learned Sir JohnSpelman Knight, Doftour Fearne, andMafter 
Digges, too reverend and able Pennes to take notice of the name 
of fuch z.prinnified,prurigenous Puppy , from whom he ftole his ratio- 
nail and Theologicall Paffages, nothing being his own, but the out- 
facing with a multitude of pretended Teftimonies, haled in, as he 
teacheth his Clients to hire Knights of the Pofte, to witneffe that 
which they know nothing of, faving (I fay) that there is nothing 
that concernes England, but the fame again (quoth Mark a Bel- 
grave) to the Tune of Anthony, now, now, the old Song ftill ; like 
the laft houre and halfe of a Puritan Sermon, or one of his long- 
winded Traverfes of Burton's Apology, or Baflwickes Letany, in 
ftead of a plea or anfwer, withouten that the aforefaid Henry Bur- 
ton at Friday-flreet aforefaid, in the manner and forme aforefaid, did 
beate his wife aforefaid, by reafon of the independent fifter afore- 
faid, to beat out the evill fpirit aforefaid, and ("withouten that) it 
was for the luft aforefaid, or withouten that the faid John Baftwicke 
Doftour of Phificke aforefaid, was fo over-run with the Morbus 


Gallicus aforefaid, that when he was a Captain in the Rebellion 
aforefaid, at the Newarke in Leicejler aforefaid, he was not able to 
get up to his horfe aforefaid, without a ftoole aforefaid ; and with- 
outen that, William Prinne aforefaid, in the Church-lane there 
aforefaid, in the Affembly of Adamites aforefaid, exercifed his 
gifts aforefaid, to the edification of the Sifters aforefaid, who gave 
him the Gold aforefaid, and (in the feare of God) joyned in 
the Rebellion aforefaid, as they will be ready to averre and main- 
tain, but never to prove any thing, if thofe his Bookes have not fuf- 
ficiently proved it ; yet for all this I will afford him the honour 
to fhame him, in anfwering of his third part, and thus I begin. 

This third part he begins to magnifie Treafon in his delicate 
Dedication, moll loyally to three Arch-Rebells, namely, the Lord 
Fairfax, and the two Knights Williams, Waller and Breerton, 
wherein he ftiles them, Defervedly Renowned Worthies, calles their 
valour, zeale, activity, and indujlry, incomparable; (you mould have 
faid their Rebellion too;) 'tis confeft, that their invifible Victories 
have been many and miraculous, and their being often beaten hath 
been apparently perfpicuous and manifeft, for which they have 
been j eared with Publique Thankefgivings, as M after Prinne 
makes himfelfe merry with mocking them, in his foifting Epiftle ; 
and it is not poffible that thefe three Worthies mould be fo threed- 
bare in their underftandings, or that their wits mould be fo ftupified, 
as not to perceive this fellowes flouting flattery ; as for their Victo- 
ries we do rather pitty than envy ; and concerning the Worthies, 
I have feen nine of their Figures or Pictures in Haberdafhers 
Shops and Tavernes, hanged up to garnifh the roomes, but Mafter 
Prinnes three Worthies fhall not be hanged up in a private roome 
or fhop, a large field is fitteft for fuch mighty Martialifts. And for 
the valour of thofe three Worthies, it was never known that the 
Lord Fairfax ftruck a blow, except it were to his Tailer or his 
Footman ; and for Sir William WallerYiz hath been fo happy that he 
was never wounded, but onely in his reputation. But O, O, Sir 
William Breerton ! noble, valiant, fingular, fupereminent, coura- 
gious Sir William Breerton, I could laugh heartily, were I once fo 
happy as to fee him within halfe a mile of a Battaile, O fweet face, 
moil amiable Sir William Breerton. 

In his Preface to the Reader, he faith, he hath been alwayes a 

D cordiall 

cordiall endeavourer of Peace (as right as my legge John Jarret) 
you might as well have faid Rope-ye-al\, Halter-ye-a.l\, as cordiall. 

In his third page he feemes to invite his Majefty to vifit the Par- 
liament, and tells Him (and all loyall Subjects) by an old Prefident, 
what kinde entertainment He might expect, for he faith, that Ju- 
lius Ccefar was, in the Capitol, Jlabbed, and murdered by the Senate, 
with no leffe than twenty three wounds. Sir, your kinde invitation 
fhall not be forgotten, & I affure you, it is one of moft the fignificant 
paffages and explanations of your Loyaltie in all your whole Books. 

Page 5. That the King hath denuded himfelfe of all Regall Au- 
thority ; this fhall paffe for one of your fmall Treafons, wherein 
you fhew the denuded nakedneffe of your Byafs'd Judgement and 
confcience. page 3. This liberall Gentleman, proclaimes liberty, 
and plenarily leave to rebell, He releafeth all his Majefties Subjecls 
from their Allegiance ; furely, thou haft made a League with Sin, 
Death, and Hell, and they have blinded thee fo, that thou canft nei- 
ther fee what thou fayeft, or underftand what thou writeft. Thou 
giveft the King's Subiedls leave to caft off their Allegiance, and 
they give thee leave to be hanged to requite thy curtefie ; but thou 
and thy Members fof Maintenance) muft and fhall know that all 
the King's loyall Subjects do underftand, that the Oathes of Allegi- 
ance and Supremacy, made to their Soveraigne, is fuch a tye, and fe- 
curity, as it is the onely chain upon earth, except love, to binde the 
confciences of men, and to hold humane fociety together ; from 
which Oathes though Mafter Prinne (with Papall Authority) would 
difpence withall, yet his Majefty hath good and faithfull Subie&s 
enough, who fcorne and deride your foolifh, traiterous difpen- 
fations, and doubt not (by God's affiftance) to mould you and your 
feduced Rabble of Rebells into better fafhion. 

Page 13. If the King himfelfe fhall introduce Forreigne Forces 
and Enemies into hisRealme to levy Warreagainftit, or fhall himfelfe 
become an Enemy to it. This doubtfull fuppofition is fo idle and tri- 
viall, that the beft Anfwer to it is to laugh at it. page 14. he talkes 
how King Henry the fecond of France was cafually flain at a Tour- 
nament by the Lord Montgomery, and then he tells us of Sir Walter 
Tirrell's Arrow (glancing againft a Tree,) flew King William the fe- 
cond of England; prefently he makes a ftep into France again, and 
brings us word, that King Charles thcfirfl, being mad there, was de- 


prived and kept clfoe, and that the deaths and deprivations of thefe 
Kings was then proved to be no Treafons, becaufe tJiey were done out 
of no malitious intents. This is Bombaft to ftuffe out his big-wombe 
Book, and as neare the matter as Brafeel and Banbury. Page 17. He 
playes the Huntfman, and compares the Keeper of a Parke, and the 
Deere in it, to a King and his People. Suppofe this comparifon 
were granted, then you muft alfo grant, that you have rebellioufly 
broken down the Parke pale, or wall, fo that the Deere are fcatter. 
ed and divided, the beft of them (I am fure the trueft Harts) do 
keep within their bounds, and live under the protection of their 
Keeper, whileft you have got all the whole Heard of Rafcals a- 
mongft you, and much good may do it you with them. In Page 22. 
he makes a leape from hence into Afia, and relates ftrange Newes, 
how Tamberlane conquered Bajazet , and put him in an iron cage; 
then you are fure it was not a Pillory, but if a time of Peace were, 
(were it not for depriving the Hangman of his due) I would begge 
thee, and fh'ew thee in Fares and Marts, for a Motion, whereby 
thee and I could not chufe in fhort time but be without abundance 
of money. From page 23. to page 60. he tautologically talkes iVa- 
turall Non-fenfe, and Artificiall impertinencies, which in page 60. 
he faith, he gathered from one Albericus Gentilis. page 61. he 
ftumbles upon Truth again, and fayes, That it is out of controverfie 
that no man ought to refifl againfl the King. Page 63, 64. he cites 
32 Arguments of Scripture to maintain the caufe, the chiefe of 
them is Daniel 'in the Lions Den, he might as well have brought in 
Jacob's Well, and the Woman of Samaria. 

In pag. 66. he brings in the ftory oiloram, 2 Kings 6. liow hefent 
a meffenger to the Prophet Elifhaes houfe to take away his head, and 
that the Prophet did caufe thedoore to befhut, to keep out the King's 
meffenger : from whence the learned logicall Prinne inferres, that 
becaufe the Prophet did not obey the King, but fhut his doore a- 
gainft the Meffenger, therefore King Charles his Subiedts may op- 
pofe, refill, and rebell ; a very trim Argument. From thence to 
page 73. he repeates old fufty bufineffe over and over, and there 
he runnesfor more luggage headlong into the Red-Sea, and dragges 
the memory of drowned Pharaoh, as an example of God's iudgements 
on that obdurate and impenitent King: this was fomewhat to the 
purpofe, but I cannot perceive where or how. Page 8 1 . The King 

D 2 with 


ivith the Lords and Commons in Parliament, have the whole Realme 
entrujled with them, of which great trujl the King is onely chief e and 
Soveraigne : now I agree with you, Sir, if your writings had been 
all fuch as this, and your Members and Committees, Votes and Or- 
ders, correfpondent, then we had had no Rebellion, and your high 
prized Bookes would have been iuftly valued, to be worth nothing. 
A little after he fayes , The King is the fupreme Member of the 
Parliament, (thou ill bred Fellow, thou mighteft have faid HEAD) 
and that contrary to the truft and duty repofed in Him, through the 
advice of ' evill Connfellours, wilfully betrayes this truft, andfpoiles 
and makes havocke of his People and Kingdomes : thefe are but the 
old lyes, feares, jealoufies, doubts, ifs and ands, newly revived 
and furbufhed : as in page 86. he hath another, which is, If the 
King fhould command us to fay Majfe in his Chappell, to which I 
anfwer, If the Skie fall, &c. and the one of thofe ifs is as poffible 
as the other. Page 108. He mufters up 5 1 of the ancient Fathers 
to lend him their hands to defend his falfities, wherein he hath 
wrefted and abufed their integrity fufficiently, but I obferve that 
he meddles with neither of the Gregories, either the Great, or Na- 
zianzen, his policy is not to mention them, becaufe then young 
Gregory herhaps may be put in minde of him ; for Prinne is crafty 
and obferves the Proverbe, He mufti have a long Devill, that eates 
with aftpoone. 

Page 92. He hath wrefted thefword out of the hands and cut off 
the heads of all his oppofite Goliahs. Tis well bragg'd, but if it be 
true, that you have cut off all the heads of your oppofites, you have 
been bloudily revenged for the loffe of your eares ; I prithee, 
when thou dieft, bequeath one of thy Jaw-bones to be kept a- 
mongft the dreadfull Weapons and Ammunition of the Members 
Magazine, it may do ftrange things amongft a Crew of Philifiims. 

Pag. 134. He contradicts himfelfe with Statutes of King Henry 
8. Ed. 6. and Qu. Eliz. That words againft the Kingfeven in prea- 
ching) are high Treafon, as well as raifing Armes : very right, and 
thofe Statutes being yet in force , what would become of all 
your reverend railing Pulpit-men ? (I will not (lander them to 
call 'em Preachers) upon my confcience thy deftiny and theirs 
would be all one, (if the faid Statutes were duely executed) and 
you would all leave your old Trades, and deale in the two rich 


commodities olHempe and Timber, till your laft gafpes. Pag. 142. 
he railes at the King again, as if he were hired to it, or that he had 
nothing elfe to do ; alfo he belabours the Cavaliers ex tempore, by 
the Titles of Cut-tkroates, bloudy, inhumane, and barbarous, with 
other fuch pretty names, as the Gentleman pleafes to beftow upon 
them, for which I hope they will not all die, till fome of them be 
out of his debt. Page 143. Chriftians did not refift perfecittion un- 
der Pagans, ergo, Chriftians muft not refift Chriftians, and becaufe 
Subjecls are Chriftians as well as Kings, therefore Chriftian Kings 
muft not refift Rebells. In his laft Leafe, he hath waded through 
this weighty controverfie, and proved that both by Law and Con- 
fciencethis Rebellion is juftifiable ; and thus the Reader may per- 
ceive how Prinnes Judgement and Confcience is biajjfed. 

Vpon Prinnes fourth Qttarter, or part of his Soveraigne 
Power of Parliaments. 

IN page 13. he brings in a meffe of mufty Prefidents, like the 
mouldy Bread, ragged cloathes, and clouted Shooes of the Gibe- 
onites, when they deceived Jofhua ; as for allowing or not allowing 
the King's meniall Servants : "Tis no doubt but the King fhould be 
well ferved if fuch a coxcombe as Prinne had Authority to chufe 
his Servants. Page 1 5 . Parliaments have power above Magna Char- 
ta : I believe Parliaments have power if there be caufe to repeale 
Statutes either in Magna Charta, or any other Lawes ; but though 
Parliaments have this power, yet I would have Mafter Prinne to 
underftand, that conventicles and factious Affemblies have no fuch 
Authority, except they fteale and ufurpe it. page 24. he falls to his 
old vomit, and taxeth his Majefty with.Englifh,Irifh,Scotti/h,French, 
and Germane Papifts , and that they are whole Armies of them 
maintained by his Majefty, againft his good Subjecls, (of which you 
are none, therefore you need not feare.) Page 32. The Parliament 
hath unwillingly taxed and plundered men : your Votes, Imprifon. 
ments, Banifhments, and Robberies committed dayly on the per- 
fons and goods of fuch as were his Majefties loyalleft Subie£ts,fthey 
being all firme Proteftants) and your Mandates and large rewards to 
the Thieves and Plunderers, with your Receits and fale of the 

D 3 ftolne 


ftolne goods, to ftrangers, Amfter-damnable Ieives, other forraigners 
and unnaturall Natives, who have either bought the faid goods for 
money (with which mony you have maintained this Rebellion) or 
truckd and barterd it for other Commodities, as you have done late- 
ly with the Hollanders, for Butter, Cheefe, Fifh, &c. by thefe 
Practices of Robbery and Tyranny, it is apparent how unwilling- 
ly this Thing, called a Parliament, hath, and dayly doth, Tax and 

In his 33. Pag. he fpeakes truth, That by tlie fame power the 
Parliament had to raife an A rmy without the King, by the fame po- 
wer they may raife mony to maintaine it, which is as much as to fay, 
by the fame power they had to be Rebells, by the fame power they 
might Murder, Rob, Plunder, Ranfack and ruinate His Majefties 
true Leige people, and by the fame power you have made bold to 
doe the like with all his Majefties Honours, Mannours, Royal- 
ties and Revenues ; all which you have done by the fame po- 
wer, and liberall grants of that bountifull Potentate who offered to 
give all the Kingdomes of the world to our Saviour. Pag. 34. He 
taxeth His Majefty with placing of Popifh Governours in his Gar- 
rifons, and fuch Commanders in his Armies ; indeed you are not to 
be blamed much for your being greived at thofe Governours and 
Commanders, becaufe through God's affiftance by them and their 
good directions, you have been often times greivoufly beaten, and 
queftionleffe they are not quite out of your debts ( except you 
mend your manners) they are fuch juft paymafters, that they will 
pay you all .■ alfo every body will not beleive that all are Papifts 
whom you pleafe to call fo. 

Now I come to the furvey of his ample Appendix ; wherein at 
the firft, he rakes up Romes Foundation, and to fmall purpofe, he 
hales Romulus, Remus, Numa Pompilius, and all the H eathen Kings, 
and Emperours out of their Vmes and Tombes ; then he hath a 
bout with the Eaft and Wefterne Empires, and all their wicked 
Emperours with their Tragicall ends. In his 1 1. Pag. he blafphea- 
moufly outfaceth S. Paul, and his Doctrine both, Rom. 13. I. to 6. 
That Kings are Subjecls, to the highefi powers, which higheft po- 
wers Prinne interpretes to be the people ; take heed, though you 
have the peftilent art to make Law to be no Law, and ftealing to be 
no theft, yet it is dangerous to pervert or juggle with holy writ. 


(2 9 ) 

But why doe I caft away admonition upon an Atheifticall railing 
Rabjhekah, who hath perverted, wrung, wrefted, conftrued and mif- 
applied the Patriarks, Prophets, Apoftles, yea Chrift himfelfe. Pag. 
12. he prefents the miferies of the unfortunate and perfidious King, 
Zcdechias, how his children were murdered before his face, his eyes 
put out, and after, how he was carried Prifoner in Chaines to Babylon. 
Alfo he mentions many other deplorable deaths and difajlers, that 
fell upon divers Kings and Princes. All which Teftimonies and 
prefidents are fo applyed, as nothing elfe but Treafon and Villany 
can be found in the applications. In the 14. pag. he is faild into 
Sparta, amongft theKingsof the Lacedemonians, and there he makes 
enquirie how many of them have been brought to untimely ends. 
In pag. 15. he tells us how the Sabeans confined their Kings to their 
Pallaces, and ufed toftone them if they went out of their bounds with- 
out leave. But your Scholars (the Tumultuous Rabble) did in 
Routes and Roguifh Affemblies with cudgells, march with their 
Tatterdmallians againft White-Hall when his Majefty was there 

Pag. 18. 19. and fo to pag. 51. He runs through all the Hiftory 
of France, to finde proditorious prefidents, to prove Treafon to be 
Lawfull in England, pag. 5 1. he makes a skip into Spaine, and doth 
as much there, pag. 60. he hath found out a Kingdome of Oreida, 
and that there many of the Kings were depofed, or Murdered, pag. 
62. and 63. he tra veils Aragon and Navarre, and from thence in- 
to Cafiile, portugall, Cordova, Vallencia, Granado, Gallicia. pag. 80. 
he is got into Hzmgaria. pag. 82. he is in Bohemia, pag. 85. you may 
have him in Poland, pag. 89. he is making a privy fearch in Den- 
mark, pag. 98. he forrageth through Sweden, pag. 99. he makes a 
ftep into Affyria, Cyprus, Lombardia, Naples, and Venice, and in the 
100. pag. he is come backe into Scotland, and there he tarries ra- 
king up all the Treafons in that Kingdome, from the raigne of Fer- 
gufius (their firft King) till thefe mad bad times ; which theam he 
followes to the 112. pag. Then he poftes into Afia amongft the 
Kings of the Gentiles, Ifrael, and Iudah. He is now in Perfia, fea- 
fting with Ahafuerus; and prefently you have him in Babylon, eat- 
ing Graffe (like an Affe) with Nebuchadnezzer, from whence he 
makes a fpirt to fee King Darius, and kindely he vifites Daniel in 
the Lyons Den. Thus you may perceive how nimble and aftive 



this Gentleman hath been, to play the Kennell-raker in grubling 
in all the nafty common Sewers, and contagious Dung-hills of dam- 
nable Treafons, and perfidious Treacheries in all the Kingdomes 
of the World, malitiouily and purpofely, to defend, maintaine, and 
countenance this odious Rebellion, now on foot in England. And, 
it is to be conceived that he could never have Travelled from Re- 
gion to Region, and from Realme to Realme, with fuch Celerity 
and Subitorie quickneffe, but that he had the helpe of fome Me- 
phojlophilus or Familiar, or elfe he bought, begged, or ftole fome 
Windes from a Lapland Witch ; without which aydes from the 
Inftruments of his Grand Maifter (Don Diabold) he could never 
have flowne to and fro, to fo many Territories to fetch mifchiefe 

Pag. 125. He faith, David was made King by Gods Appoint- 
ment, and the Peoples Election ; I tell thee, (thou Owleiglaffe) if 
thou didft underftand what thou fayeft, thou wouldeft fay fomewhat 
more underftandingly to be underftood ; for if thou note, what God 
himfelfe faith to David, by the Prophet Nathan, 2. Sam. 12. 7. 
Thus faith the Lord God of Lfrael, I anointed thee King over Ifra- 
el, and I delivered thee out of the hands of Saul; where is the peoples 
Election here ? God faith he chofe him from the fheepfold, to be a 
King, Pfal. 78. 71. and feeing God did chufe and anoint David 
King, I muft crave M. Prinnes leave, to beleeve the people did it 
not, but it is certaine that David was made King by Gods onely 
Affignation ; and that he that made the Peoples hearts, did alfo give 
them grace with unanimous confent to be obedient to his Ordi- 
nance ; fo that with loud fhoutes, and acclamations of Ioye, the 
people expreft their Loyalties and loves at Davids Coronation, in 
which they had no Election at all, as this pretender pretends. Pag. 
127. That God, and Davids deftgnation of Solomon to the Crowne, 
did not take away the Peoples Liberty, Right, and Power to elect and 
nominate their Kings, my fweet Stercucian prudent Prime, nei- 
ther God or David did ever take that Liberty, Right and Power 
from the People, for the people never had any fuch priviledge or 
prerogative to ele£t and nominate, and therefore fuch Right and 
Power which they never had, was never taken from them. Pag. 
146. he names Zimri, Omri, and other Parricides and Homicides, 
Vfurpers, Rebells and Caftawayes, thefe he brings in to fill up the 



meafure. Pag. 149. is cram'd as full of Treafons and Revileings, as 
he was able to put in, till he comes to the 153 pag. and there he 
tells me old newes, How Darius fet Princes over his Kingdomes 
and Provinces ; And that Nebuchadnezzer, fet Daniel over the Pro- 
vince of Babylon ; let the Reader judge if Prinne doth not give 
himfelfe the Lie. How dares this Varlet alleadge that King Charles 
hath not Power to fet Deputies and Lievtenants over His Domi- 
nions and Provinces, or to chufe His Privy Councellors, Officers 
of State, Truft, and Meniall Servants, and yet he confeffeth that two 
Heathen Kings, Darius and Nebuchadnezzar, had power to doe it, 
and did it, and (for any thing that I can perceive) thofe Kings had 
power fo to doe, and did ufe that power without afking their Sub- 
jects leave or confent. 

From pag. 154. to 160. he brings in Chimeraes, Whimfeyes 
and meere Connundrums in fuch ftore, as they would furnifh fixe 
French and Italian Mountebanks to vent their fophifticated Oyles, 
Unguents, Drugges, Album Greaka, or black white Dogges dates ; 
Pag. 1 yy. he faies, that a Prince or Lord of a Country are not Prin- 
ces without SubjeSls ; very right, if a King hath no Subjects, then 
he is no bodies King, but you and your Comrades, would have no 
King, and therefore, by that rule you are no Subjects, or (I am fure 
no good ones.) From pag. 177. to 186. he makes a long Relation 
of the caufes why the Netherlandifh Provinces fell from the King 
of Spaine; as fuitable to his purpofe as Muftard and Mince-pye to- 
gether, and then he brings in Julian the Apoftate, flaine by a chri- 
ftianSouldier; Pag. 188. That the Pope and Prelates alone, {without 
the confents of Parliament, Peeres, or people) have depofed and judg- 
ed Hereticall and Tyrannicall Kings to death, and devote them to 
AJfaJJination. This is but crowding upon the old fidle, becaufe the 
Pope hath done fo to wicked Kings, therefore you will take a de- 
villifh power (Tomewhat worfe then a Popifh) to fupplant 
and ruinate a Juft King and His Pofterity. Pag. 189. he prefents 
Tarquin, Nero, Vitelius, their banifhments and deathes. Pag. 204. 
That Queen Elizabeth did ayde and fuccour Proteftants that lived 
in other Countries, and that the King of Spaine did the like for Ro- 
mane Catholiques; This is Prinnes Foble Boble, as plaine as a Pack- 
ftaffe ; I wifh that he and his Tribe would imitate that good Queen, 
and fuccour the Proteftants, and not deftroyand beggerthem dayly, 

E as 


as they doe. Pag. 208. he fwells and blifters out his Volum, with 
the fentence of degradation and deprivation of Weticeflaus the Em- 
perour, as much pertinent as the fift wheele in a Coach. Pag. 2 16. 
he is vehement in perfwading men to be Loyall Rebells, to be Va- 
liant true Traitors, to perfift in their execrable difobedience, for 
which he promifes everlafting felicity ; and laftly, he peremptorily 
concludes all Temporall and Eternall loffe, difhonour, and perpe- 
tuall torments, to be the Portions of all true Subjects; and then he 
clofes with zealous Prayer, and Invocation, for the continuance, 
maintenance, and profperity of Treafon and Rebellion. And thus 
have I delineated, or rather Anotomiz'd and dife&ed the foure 
Quarters of this Monfter. Now I proceed to his Head, and the 
workes of his Head-peece, his Opening of the New Great Seale. 

William Prinnes, Opening of his New Great 
Seale (/England, 

ADulterate Prefidents, are (very feldome) Parents to Legi- 
timate Confequences. This New Great Seale is Begotten, 
and Borne into the World, lick'd into fafhion by Committees, 
Members, Votes and Ordinances, and Nurft, Cherifh'd, Dreft, 
Trick'd and Trim'd by M. Prinne, who hath painfully fearched 
through the very Bowells of Antiquity to finde out the originall 
of Seales, and whence his New Seale may lineally derive its firft 
being and pedigree. 

To begin which goodly piece of fervice, he loades his Margine 
with Notes and Teftimonies of Scripture ; The firft marke where- 
by you may know from whence this Babye is defcended, he quotes, 
the Signet which Judak left with his daughter in Law Tamar, as a 
Pledge when he had committed Inceft (ox Adultery) with her, as it 
is in Gen. 38. A very faire beginning, to prove this Seale lawfully 
borne and bred from JudaKs Signet, which was left in pawne as 
a token for Bawderie. 

The fecond defcent of it he proves to be from Theft, Covetouf- 
nejjfe, and Murder, as 1. Kings. 21. 8. How Jezabel Jlole Ahabs 
Seale, and with it fealed counterfeit Letters (in the Kings name) 
whereby Naboth was perjurioufly accufed, and Murthered, and 



Ahab had the Vineyard. And from that Seale, and the notable ef- 
fects which it produced, M. Prinne derives his New Seale, and 
prefageth what worthy a6ls it may produce. 

I will name but one more of his Marginall Teftificandums, Eft- 
her. 3. and 12. there he mentions King Ahfuerus his Ring, which 
he delivered to Haman, wherewith he fealed an Edi£t, that all the 
whole Nation of the Iewes, young and old, that liv'd in the Kings 
large Dominions (127. Provinces) mould all be (laughtered in one 
day. But I defire the Reader to take notice, that though Haman 
was a proud ambitious man, yet he did ufe no counterfeit Seale, 
nor ufurped any power but what he had from the King ; but M. 
Prinne and his Maifters, have neither the Kings Seale, leave or 
power, to deftroy His Subjects, and Ruinate His Kingdome, but I 
would not have them to forget, fand make application too) that 
Haman was hanged although his fault was not Treafon. But this is 
another ftrong Argument, what fhall become of the Proteftants, and 
His Majefties Loyalleft Subjects, if M. Prinnes new founded Seale 
were in force and vigour. And thus, out of his owne Annotations, 
he hath proved his Seales originalls, from Adulterous Inceft, Thee- 
ving, Avarice, Murder, Perjury, and Dejlrutlion; and what can be 
expe6led, but the like mifchiefes, and miferies from this New- 
borne, Counterfeit, Adulterated Mungrell. 

His very Title of Opening of the Great Seale, puts me into fome 
fufpition of Blafphemy in it, as alluding to the Lambes, opening the 
Seale in the Revelation, ('but I omit that, as too ferious for this man- 
ner of Encounter.) And I have fpyed a Croffe in his fecond/ag?, to 
begin withall, which makes me ready to crye out Popery, Popery, 
and I thought it would have frighted him out of the Court, but I 
perceive the Devill his Elder, and M. Prinne is more impudent then 
the Legend tells us, fand I am fure that Legend is as true as moft of 
Prinnes writings are.) The Devill was in Saint Chrijtophers dayes, 
for then he ran afide at the fight of the Croffe, for feare of him that 
dyed on it ; But now Prinne goes on in defpight of both, (though in- 
deed) fomewhat like the Devill, all on one fide, and tells us a Tale 
of Croffes,/^. 3. and at length of Seales, though it be a long time 
er'e he could find that Englifh Kings had any, event ill the Raignes 
of Offa and Edwin. Nor any Broad Seale till Edward the Confef- 
for; The beft is, he thereby grants, that the Kings grant is good un- 

E 2 der 


der his Signe Manuall, or Signet, yea ( if need be) under his hand 
without any Seale, (but this I leave to Lawyers.) And when the 
Broad Seale came into ufe, it was the Seale of our Lord the King, 
or the Kings Broad seale, and the Chancellors were called the Kings 
Chancellors (not the Peoples, nor the Parliaments)/^. 10 and 11. 
that the Kings from time to time ordered, and altered the Great 
Seale at their pleafures, and that King Richard the firjl pretending 
that the Great Seale was loft, when Roger his Vicechancellour was 
drowned before the IJle of Ciprus, and that the King caufed a New 
Seale to be made. All this is granted, but no part of this doth fay 
that a Parliament made that Seale, ('tis faid the King caufed it to 
be made) befides, that was not a counterfeit Seale made by a Facti- 
on, without the Kings Confent, or, which is more, againft Royall 
Commands and Proclamations, to the contrary. Then he goes on 
honeftly, that our Kings have altered their Seales with various In- 
fcriptions, Stiles, and A rmes, but alwayes of their owne, and in 
their owne names, never of the Parliaments. (For I thinke their 
Armes and Motto, except it fhould be A Beaft with many Heads, 
are yet to feeke.) Nor was it ever medled with in Parliament, but 
for the Kings behalfe, in the Kings name, by the Kings Authority, 
and according to his will , as even thofe two Inftances of a New 
Broad Seale, made for Edward the hrii,pag. 1 8. 19. Whilft he was 
abfent militating in the Holy Land; And for Henry thefixth, when 
he was an Infant of nine monthes old, and his Unkle the Proteclor, 
doe more then manifeftly convince, directly contrary to what he 
produceth them to prove. Nor were there any proportion or para- 
lell betwixt an abfent, and a prefent King, betwixt an implicite 
Confent, and an expreffe Command to the contrary, betwixt the 
ftate of a Child, and a Mature experienc'd King ; if the intents of 
our Parliaments were as Loyall as thofe appeared to be, (Whereas 
indeed the contrary is apparent, ) but that he prefumes that all his 
Geefe fhall paffe for Swannes, and that he can perfwade the People 
that the Moone is made of the fame Calves fkin, that his new broad 
Seale fhall be afnx'd unto. 

Yet the better to fecure himfelfe, and his Affociates, from high 
Treafons in this point (for they are deepe enough in other mat- 
ters) I would advife them to be contented to make ufe of the other 
Seales, which he faith were made by their Authority, (but I muft 



tell him, not without the King) and may be new-made by them- 
felves, viz. the Seale for Statutes, Merchants, in certain Corpora- 
tions, the Seale for the Hundred, Rape, or Wapentake, City, or 
Burrough, left to the difcretion of the Iuftices of the Peace (if they 
have any) or to the keeping of fome honeft good man of the Coun- 
ty (M. Yym was once reputed fit to have been the Keeper of this 
Seale) p. 20. this Seale is great enough yet to have the ftoned Horfe 
carved in it for the bearing, which Yym's father bequeathed to Agnis; 
or the Seale of Alnegers and Colledtours, &c. or that leaden Seale 
for cloathes (which he infifts upon as if it were as authentique as 
the Yopes Bull) or the Seale of the Cuftomers Office ('which they 
are well skilled in improving for themfelves, though they rob the 
King of it,) and the feales of cloath of Gold, Silver, Velvet, Da- 
maskes, Chamlets, silkes, Tobacco, and Tobacco-pipes, and of as 
many trinkets as are enumerated in their late Book of Excife and 
Rates ; and let them take in the Seales of Yarmouth and Linne- 
wofted-makers to boot ; but let them not meddle with the Dut- 
chy seale, the Exchequer seale, the seale of the Court of Wards and 
Liveries, nor the Seale of the Augmentation, (which he fpends fo 
much waft paper about, in his pag. 21, & 26.) for feare of a Premu- 
nire, efpecially if they have any eares to lofe, as fome of them have 
hitherto ; but above all, meddle not with the Great seale, it is not 
Prinnes Affertion, that the Parliament is uncapable of Treafon, 
and out of the intentions of the Statutes concerning Treafons of 
that kinde, which can protedl you againft a Tiburne Pole-axe, ex- 
cept you can procure the King's confent, as a part of the Parlia- 
ment, as the cafe was in the Times of King Edward the firft, and 
King Henry the fixth, (which he repeates again, for no other pur- 
pofe but to manifeft how his Noddle is furnifhed with the Art of 
Memory to infert things over and over to the purpofe aforefaid, as 
much as in the totall comes to nothing ;) but thefe remembrances 
are of fmall validity to make way for Mafter Prinnes pardon ; as 
the whole Parliament was forced for a leffe Rebellion than this, in 
the time of Richard the fecond. Or unleffe you be refolved to 
make good your Speakers promife at the beginning of this Parlia- 
ment, To make his Majejly the richejl King in Chrijlendome, againft 
your wills, by forfeiting your Eftates, Lands, and Lives, and having 
fet the Kingdome in combuftion, you fall (like Yhaeton) for pre- 

E 3 fuming 


fuming to guide that Chariot whofe luftre dazled your eyes, and 
whofe fublimity aftonilheth, yea confounds your underftandings. 
Andfo confounded be all they that exalt them/elves againfi God, and 
againjl the King. Let their lives be loathfome, and their deaths He- 
rodian lowfie and virmiculated ; Let their mouthes befealed up with 
the fpeechlefneffe of their felfe guilt. A nd let their eyes be picked out 
by the Ravens oftlie valleys, and eaten by the young Eagles. But let 
the King ever rejoyce in tJieftrength of the Lord, and be exceeding 
glad in his falvation. Mat. 22. 12. Prov. 30. 17. Pfal. 21. 1. 

Thus have I (with leffe than Herculean labour in fix dayes) clean- 
fed this A ugean Stable of all the noyfome filth that prinnehzd raked 
in many weeks, from all the dung-hils in the world, all which Mer- 
durinous Mucke I have laid at the doores of the right Owners, viz. 
Mafter Prinne and his Members ; I have been fain to encounter 
with him in the darke, for his Margins hath been fo thatched with 
abufed and wrefted Authours, that as the Grand Signior had fo ma- 
ny thoufands of Arrowes to fhower at once upon the Chriftians, 
that they obfcured the Sunne, and darkened the Firmament, yet 
there was roome enough under the fhadow of thofe Arrowes to 
fight (in a good Caufe) and foile the Turkes ; fo I, in the Cymerian 
umbrage of this cloud of Teftimones, have cop'd with him, and 
in the Combate fo bruifed him, that three of his fmall guts are dif- 
located, the vertigo taking poffeflion of his pulfive Brain-pan, and 
(as I was certified) he takes a Diet next his heart every morning 
five fpoonfull of warme Cow-dung mixed with Earwigs, com- 
pounded Caterpillers, and the Marrow of a Salt Bitch, fo that there 
is fome hope that he will recover, but never be his own man again, 
yet he may live longer than a Cat, or a Dogge, or a better thing. 

If I had had any correfpondency with him, I could have furnifh- 
ed him, with Authours, Teftimonies, Witneffes, and Proofes more 
fuitable for his foure Parts, and his Great Seale too, as Lazarillo de 
Tonnes, Don Quixot, Gufman de Alfarech, Bevis of Hampton, 
The mirrour of Knighthood, John Dorry, the ancient Bards, Drui- 
des, PeripoJetickes, Stoickes, Epicureans, and Gymnofophifts : thefe 
learned Thebanes would have been fo fuitable to his writings, that 
their authentique Affertions had like a Torrent over-whelmed me, 
fo that I had been quite drowned before I could have anfwered 
halfe his Soveraigne powers, and for his Great Seale, it had been as 



farre from my knowledge, as he and it are from Truth and Reali- 

I prithee Prinne be good to thy felfe, and take a little counfell 
how to mannage and husband this New Great Seale, the cheapeft 
and thriftieft way, for as yet it is of fmall force and leffe virtue, 
People do begin to perceive how they have been coozened with 
Publique Faith, and large promifes for great fummes, which have 
been (and muft be) paid invifibly, and now that (by beggerly ex- 
perience) they fee how the Game and Geare goes, they are unwil- 
ling to befealed for fooles, and pay for the fealing too. Therefore 
becaufe it is like to prove a dead market with the New Great Seale, 
and that wax is deare, I advife to fave that charge, and feale with 
Butter; I have heard of Obligations fealedio in the Welch mar- 
ches ; or if that thrifty device faile, your Seale will make an excel- 
lent mould to make Wafer Cakes, or caft well kneaded Ginger- 
bread in. There are divers other neceffary ufes which it may be put 
to, which I leave to thy grave and ingenious, ftudious confidera- 

How now, my running-witted, rolling-headed, raling tongu'd, 
rattle-brain'd Round-head ? How likeft thou this vennie ? Wilt 
thou have another bowt ? If thou dareft but take up the cudgels 
once more, as good as thou thinkeft thy felfe at Defenfive Armes, 
He fetch thee about like a lack an-apes, over and under his Chaine, 
fo that all the Gentlemen Spe£tatours, (who fhall be ludges) fhall 
not onely paffe their fentence on my fide , that I have fufficiently 
dry-bafted thee ; but I will let thy humours bloud for the Sim- 
ples in the head-vein, and break thy Mazzard fo foundly, that all 
the world fhall fee that thou haft but a craz'd Pericranium ; and fo, 
fomewhat commiferating thy diftra&ed condition, I in a fmall de- 
gree of true charity, leave thy exceffive imaginary zeale to fare- 
well, and be hang'd. What fhould any man fay more to his Friend, 

William Prinne. 

A Prophecy. 


A Prophecy. 

Prophecy concerning the precedent Anfwer, found in a 
Whirle-poole, three Leagues below the bottome of 
the Ocean , by a diver, who was fent thither in thefe 
times of necefhty for Pym's purfe, which becaufe he 
found guarded by Hampderis Ghoft, he could not bring, for that 
had been enough to have redeemed all this Ifle, (except himfelfe) 
but he brought this from a pennon whereon it was hanging, whileft 
the Neiades and Nereides were bufied about an Ephemerides, for 
perpetuating Bookers Almanacke, till Naworths honeft juft-dealing 
Prognofticationfhall make aComment upon Haly bythe laft yeares 
fucceffe, and till the Puritan manner of canting Aff-trologers (like 
that of Scriptures) mail appeare out of Guido Bonatus, wherein 
having told a tale of their troublefome Army, he leaves out, But 
The King Shall Prevaile In The End. 
And railes upon the Licencer, becaufe he put the reft out, upon dif- 
covery of that his jugling, and alfo they fate in Confultation about 
proroguing the Confutation (M it could be) of Prinnes legiflative 
Soveraigne Power of Parliaments , and opening the New Broad 
Seale, and divers other fpeciall pieces of that Minnion and Favourite 
of ALolus, Neptune, Yroferpine, yea and the Grand Signior Tluto 
himfelfe, all which have fpeciall influence into the occurrents of 
thefe Times. 

In the third yeare of the Grand Seffion of the infernall Plebeians 
fpirits, and in the fecond yeare of the Pigmies Giant-like warring 
againft Heaven, when the Furies fhall be in Conjunction, Beelze- 
bub and Jezabel'm a Quartile Afpecl, Afmodeus afcendant, Jiidas'va. 
the fecond Houfe, Lucifer culminant, and Balaam Lord of the Af- 
fembly, the North Pole fhall be tranflated to Troynovant, the Con- 
ftellation called Corona fhall be aflaulted by Mars, and great endea- 
vour fhall be to draw it beneath the Moon, and one Prinne (fon of 
the Centaures) mounted to the Spheare of Mercury, fhall perfwade 



the middle world (made giddy with lately running round) that all 
is reduced to the Naturall Motion, and the great Platonique yeare 
returned : but Charles Waine (driving a contrary way) fhall force 
Ixions Wheele to become retrograde, and caufe a motion of Tre- 
pidation in all the Circulatours and Roundheads of Thule, and the 
greateft Antick Ifland ; and when this fon of the Centaure hath 
lead the World through foure times foure Signes by an Ignis fatuus 
more dangerous than that of Phaeton, and maintained worfe Para- 
doxes than Copernicus, reaching at loves Scepter with the hands of 
Briareus, and fcorning Iuno more than Niobe did, and feemes to reft 
fecure, onely laughed at by Logicians, hiffed at by the Searchers of 
Clioes Records, and defpifed by the Priefts of love, by reafon of his 
falfe quotations, difunderftandings, mif-applications, blafphemy 
againft God,Treafons againft the King, Arguments drawn from ab- 
furdities, generall Conclufions drawn from particular examples, 
and from moft notable Non-fenfe, that in the Times and A6ls of 
Rebellion, parallelld for the moft part from, and in the Nadir (or 
Altitude,) of his Pride, fhall write with the Rayes of a Comet, 
that he hath copioufly confuted all Royallifts, Malignants, Papifts, 
clamorous Objections, and Primitive Exceptions, againft the Pro- 
ceedings of this prefent Parliament, in foure feverall Treatifes, 
lately publifhed concerning the Soveraigne Power of Parliaments, 
and Kingdomes, which hath given good fatisfadlion to many, and 
filenced the Tongues and Pennes of moft Anti-Parliamenteers , 
who have been fo ingenious as ferioufly to perufe them ; then fhall 
a holy water Clerke of Thetis contract his Iliades into a rotten 
nut-fhell, and infpired with ability rightly to interpret that old 
Saw of Rabbi Selimon, Anfwer not afoole according to his folly, (or 
according to his manner) left thou alfo be like him. Aptly apply the 
inverted oppofite Maxime, Anfwer a foole according to his folly, 
or according to his deferving, leaft he be wife in his own conceit : and 
although Lilbourne the Libeller, or a Mufhrom hatched by this 
blazing ftar in the blacke Night of Sedition, and that fincere upright 
verft man Witliers with the reft of the Rabble of railing Poets be 
retained in fee by the Rebells to write weekly Lyes for them ; 
yet Tom Nafh his Ghoft returning to this Charon, with fome diftil- 
led wilde-fire water in an inke-horne, fhall provide fuch a whip 
for this proud Horfe, fuch a Bridle for this fenfeleffe Affe, and fuch 

F a rod 


a rod for this mad fooles backe, as fhall tame Cerberus, whofe Tri- 
pie head founded nothing but the three-fyllabled and the three-let- 
terd Lords, and barked againft the radiant beames of Majefty, and 
fhall caufe the many heads of Hydra to be mortified and expire- 
in confufion, like the Heteroclitall monftrous Body of Five Mem- 
bers, fhrunke into three, and one of them halfe withered too : all 
which fhall happen before the end of the firft Olympiad of the 
Lesbian expedition, and the Glafconian refining of Reformation ; 
this is decreed by the three fatall sifters, confirmed by the three in- 
fernall Iudges, and entred into the Bookes of the foure times three 
Sybills, in the Publique Hall of Contingency, 7000 yeares before 
the imagination of Eternity. 


I Would not have Prinne, or his difmembred (divided) Mafters 
Memorable Memberhoods, to imagine mefojlerill as to be all this 
while pumping to anfwer his Traiterous lying "Pamphlets, but let 
him and them know , that this my Booke was written in O&ober 
laft, 1643. when their Saviour Pym was alive, (which had he then 
been dead, I had not mentioned) many alterations have happened 'Jince 
my writing, and the printing part of it before the end of December 
laft, but I being extremely ftroken lame, and the Preffe and Printers 
full of worke of greater confequence than to curry Crop-ear'd lades, 
till now ; and as I have formerly handled 'Booker, theProditorious Pre- 
diction-monger, and M 1 Prinne the unutterable utter Barrefter, (or 
rattier the Kingdomes Common Embarrater) fo have I alfo written 
Anfwers to the nimble, villanious, quicke, pretty, little witted Mercu- 
rius Britanicus, the Scottifh Dove, (Pigeon or Widgeon) the Scout, 
and all the Rabble of lying railing Rafcals and Rebells, all tkefe 
things are laid (like rods inpiffe) till I can get them printed: and 
could I but have meanes, and the Preffe leafure, I dare undertake 
with my poore Goofe quill, to flop the mouthes or cut the throates of 
all thefeditious Pulpitteers, and roguifh Pamphletteers in England, 
or elfe I would lofe my labour. 


1 644. 
Mad Verfe, Sad Verfe, Glad 

Verfe, and Bad Verfe. 

[Hazlitt, No. 93.] 


Verse and Bad Verse. 

Cut out, and flenderly fticht together, 
By John Taylor. 

Who bids the Reader either to like or diflike 

them, to Commend them, or Come 

Mend them. 

I Weeping fing the maddeft mad Rebellion, 
That ever Story told, or Tongue can tell ye on : 
The Barbarous Wars of tb.'Hea.tb.enGot/tes, and Vandalls, 
Did never make their names fuch Odious Scandalls : 
The Turkes, the Jewes, the Canniballs and Tartars, 
Ne're kept fuch wicked, Rude, unruly Quarters. 
Jerufalems Eleazer, John and Simon, 
Did ne're yeeld Poet bafer ftuffe to Rime on. 
Not bloody Sylla, or confuming Marius, 
Into fo many mifchiefes could e're carry us ; 
The Roman and th Tmperiall Guelphes and Gibellins, 
Vnto our Englijh Rebells are but Quiblins. 
Not Munfters John a Leyd, or Knipperdoling, 
Did ever ufe fuch Pilling and fuch Poleing ; 
Nor was their Cheating or their Hare-braind trouble like 
As ours, (rais'd by the faithleffe Faith call'd Publique.) 
The Royall twain, L ancajlrians, and Yorkifts, 
Were ne're fo mad as thofe Cornuted Forkifts. 

A The 

The Heard of all the Councell (called Common) 
Hath fhewed fuch wifedome, as was feen by no man ; 
And many of the Rich and Reverend Aldermen, 
(Saving their Beards) in wit were never Balder-men. 
The Citazens of all Trades, (poor tame Widgeons) 
Were hardly more in number, then Religions, 
That one may fay of London, what a Towne ift, 
Is it quite Metamorphos'd and turn'd Brownift, 
Or fhivered into Se6ts ? alas, how apt ift 
To be a Familift, or Anabaptift! 
And laft of all, (and which of all the word is) 
To be Rebellious, which (of all) accurft is. 
The two pretended Houfes at Weftminjler 
Have made a ftirre, as there hath never bin ftirre 
To equall it, and with Religious Mantle 
They Rifle England, by patch, piece and Cantle. 
The Documents of Burton, Prinne and Bafttvick 
Infpires the People mindes, and Braines fantaftick, 
Whilft the Committee clofe, or clofe Committee 
Makes many Thoufands fing a dolefull Dittie ; 
Where daily feares are ftamp'd and new Coynd Jealoufies 
For King and Kingdomes fpoyle, both Fire and Bellowes is. 
Their Whirlegigges, their Vanes and Hajlerigges, 
Whofe wifedomes are approv'd, (like Tarletons Jygges.) 
Mild-may that monfter never be received, 
That Judas like his Maifters truft deceived, 
And let that Pye within the Oven be burned, 
That 'gainft his Maker is a Rebell turned. 
Let Say be leffe efteem'd then rotten Buckram 
And Holland fcorn'd and (link like loufie Lockram 
May Deering, a rare Gem, a deare Ring be he, 
And {Circle) turn'd, at the Triangle Tree be. 
And I may fay of thee, O London, London, 
What hath thy fword and fhield, thy Pike and Gun done, 
O what hath many a Mothers wicked fon done 
But made their Magazen of mifchiefe London, 
Thrice happy had it been for our Tranquillitie, 
If th' Authors of this damned Incivilitie, 



Had been a little checkt by Gregory Brandon, 

With every one a Hempen twifted Band on. 

Becaufe I wrote fome Pamphlets, that were printed 

In hope thereby their madneffe might be Minted, 

For which my kindneffe they were ftill ingratefull, 

And every day (with troubles) fild my Pate full, 

Abufing my fincere and good Intentions 

With foule prejudicate and falfe Inventions. 

For fince the time that firft I underftood men 

I ne're writ any thing to anger good men ; 

But I have lafht at Nofe-wife Scripture Picklers, 

At Separatifts and lawleffe Conventicklers, 

Who are this Kingdomes wafting Maledictions, 

The Kings, the Churches, and the Lands Afflictions. 

They faid I was a Villaine, and moll fervent 

In Roguery, for I was the Kings fworne Servant : 

They did fo farre deteft me, and abhorre me 

They caufed a Meffenger to be fent for me, 

He ufed me kindly for which caufe here I name 

The man (a wonder) and men call him Binehame. 

He faid mine Enemies were full of malice 

(Wider from truth then Dover is from Callice ;) 

Their fowle Complaints (quoth he) are fcimble fcamble, 

Mere Froth and Vapour, yet we two muft amble 

Before the clofe Committees great Tribunall, 

(Whofe Orders have put Order out of Tune all.) 

To Merchant-Taylors-Hall, (as I remember) 

He brought me, neare the ending of November, 

The yeare of fixteene hundred forty and two 

Whereas falfe Accufations I did ftand to, 

^Ethiopian Corbet, Ifaack high and mighty 

Look'd grim, their very countenance would fright ye, 

They charg'd me with fuch words, that I had fpoken 

Which had I fpoke, my Neck they would have broken ; 

That Pym, Kimbolton, Hajlerigge, Strode, Hampden 

And Hollis (Rebells which the learned Campden, 

Nor Stow, Howes, Speed, old Fabian, Cooper, Grafton 

In all their Chronicles, they never left one 

A 2 For 


For Treafon, with thofe fix to be compared, 

Or dar'd to do, the like as they have dared.) 

They faid I faid, thofe fix a curfed Crew were, 

That they to God, King, Kingdom, never true were, 

That they were Rogues, and Theeves, full of oppreffion, 

Rebells, and Traitors, for which foul Tranfgreffion 

Becaufe they all grew rich by Robbing others, 

Made Sireleffe Sons, Sons Sireleffe, Sonleffe Mothers, 

By Rapine bringing Thoufands unto Beggery, 

For which they all deferv'd reward from Gregory. 

Thefe dangerous accufations I deny'd all, 

My confcience knew, that they from Truth were wide all, 

And that my accufers, that fought my difgrace there, 

Not one of them did dare to fhow his face there. 

Vpon which anfwer they did ftraight acquit me, 

Yet to the Meffenger they did Commit me ; 

But he fpake for me, I did humbly wooe them : 

He faid (at any time) I fhould come to them : 

The honeft Meffenger gat me difcharged, 

And to the Tavern we went both enlarged, 

Where / did give him thanks in Sack and Claret, 

And for his paines had but a fmall fee for it. 

My Rafcall Enemies did dayly watch me, 

And vow'd to do me mifchiefe if they catch me : 

To Murder me, they many times way-laid me, 

And near the Guild-Hall once had like t'have payd me. 

For as my felfe, and two more honeft men was, 

One Quart at three-tons Tavern, drinking then was, 

The curfed Crew, (more then fix fcore to'th hundred) 

Did fwear that Limb from Limb I mould be fundred) 

My friends and I Amaz'd, did much admire on, 

Wherefore the Houfe fo Rudely they Inviron, 

But I perceiving t'was no time to dally, 

Slipt through a fmoke fhop in t'a narrow Alley, 

And fo into a ftreet men call Cat-Eaten, 

And by that meanes, fcap'd more then being Beaten, 

My Wife lay long fick, many troubles prickt me, 

Neceffity did divers waycs AfflicT: me. 



The King (my Maifter) juftly was offended, 

And on his Service my Eftate depended, 

He, and His Royall Queen, (my gracious Miftris) 

Were driven from us, His Servants left in diftreffe ; 

Where we (poor fellows) were defpis'd and hated, 

And to give Money 'gainft our Maifter Rated : 

But I, with others, crav'd to be excufed, 

Some gave, fome gave not, flatly I refufed, 

My King and's Father, gave me cloath and Wages, 

Which Motive sure His Servants all ingages : 

But too too many a Rafcall (worfe then Judas)) 

Have given the Rebells Money like a Lewd Affe. 

The generation of abhorred Vipers, 

The Coyn Collectors, moft infatiate Gripers, 

Swore to return my name, I feard what may come, 

And left my wife a dying, and away come. 

My wrongs, my griefes, and fickneffe fo had wearied her, 

Shee dy'd, they fold my goods, and fairly buried her. 

Th'ufurping Ffaack (Major) did hate me deadly, 

But yet I got his paffe (by meere Chaunce-Medly ; ) 

I tooke a Boate, and up to Wind/or went I, 

Whereas of Rebells (of all forts) were plenty, 

Some great Commanders, who were Tradefmen broaken 

Grown rich with Plunder, late, fcarfe worth a Token ; 

Some Cobling Preachers, fome perfidious Nobles, 

(The Church, the King and Kingdomes curfed troubles) 

Befides a crew of bafe Knaves, Omnium Gatherum, 

Shuffle 'em together, and the Divell father 'um ; 

One of their Generall Effex Life-Guard was there 

Who (truck me, as I up the fbreet did paffe there, 

He calld me pretty furnames, Rogue and Traytor, 

Malignant, and the Parliaments great hater, 

And Spy, and to the Kings ufe then that I would 

Betray the Town and Caftle both, if I could. 

That villaine had a mighty mind to baft me, 

But I, from him did to the Caftle haft me, 

Where Peterboroughs Earle, and the Lord Rochfort, 

(Pardon my Rime good Reader I muft botch for't) 

A 3 They 


They knew me, and did entertaine me friendly. 

And afkt at what place did my journies end lye, 

I faid to Abingdon, and that to Henly 

I would go that night, if I might paffe cleanly, 

Or fafely from my Lord of Effex Catives 

Whofe carriage fhewed, they were not Englands Natives. 

The Noble Rebells kindly did difcard me 

And caufed fome Souldiers through their Guards to guard me, 

And fo I Wind/or left, (what can be more faid) 

And weary went to Henly, as aforefaid, 

But when to Maidenhead I was advanced, 

Vpon three Ragged Rebells there I chanced, 

Who all to Henly, company did beare me 

And in the mid-way, (in a wood) did feare me. 

For, in the Thicket of tall Oakes and Beeches 

Me thought I heard 'em mutter fcurvy fpeeches, 

One faid, old man, the Coat you now are wearing 

Is much too hot, and heavy for your bearing, 

The fecond fpide a bag, wherein I carried 

Things for my ufe, (as my occafions varied) 

Thefe two demanded, and I durft not grudge it 

But ftrait delivered them my Coat and Budget. 

The third man (which did make their number triple) 

Offered his fervice, like a kind difciple, 

Quoth he, of that man you to much have fhar'd him, 

And of his goods and moveables have par'd him, 

Shall I that of your Company am third man 

Have nothing, fhall I be a bafe abfurd man. 

My friend, quoth I, all is not quite bereft me 

My felfe is yet mine owne, my felfe is left me, 

I'm weary, carry me, they have my cloothing 

And thou fhalt carry me, that's more then nothing. 

With that they laught outright, I faining fmiled 

And fo the tedious way with talke beguiled. 

My leafh of Rafcalls, were mad Blades, (right Bilboes) 

True tatter'd Rogues, in breech, fhirts, fkirts and elboes, 

They fung, and danc'd the Morris, like maide Marrian 

And fweat and ftunk, as fweet as fugar Carrion, 

I mus'd, 


I mus'd, if they were pleas'd to jeere and fob me, 

Or if they meant to jeft with me or Rob me : 

But they to me prov'd Rebells with fome reafon 

They had not learn'd their Grammar Rules of Treafon, 

They kindly brought me to a wholfome Alehoufe, 

Where merrily we drank like foure good fellowes, 

With fongs, and tales, and now and then a ftory 

And 'ere we fell a fleep, we fung John Dorrye, 

They gave me all, which they from me had got then ; 

Deceiving me, caufe they deceiv'd me not then ; 

I left both them and Henly, and away I 

To Abingdon, by fhutting in of day I 

Came to the Kings Head, (my owne Brother's houfe,) and 

Of welcomes, I had fome part of a thoufand. 

'Twas neare the time of Marches Equinoftiall, 

J had good meat, and fuch drink as would fox ye all ; 

Ther's many Barrell full, turn'd Turvey Topfie 

And many a But hath dropt away the dropfie 

That there's good fare, and entertainment proper 

For Love, for Gold, for Silver, and for Copper. 

At Abingdon, I ftaid almoft a fortnight, 

The dayes wax'd long, (and each day had a fhort night.) 

Much about Eafter time, I came to Oxford, 

Where are fome few knaves, and fome Mizers Fox-furd, 

In Chrift-Church Garden, then a gladfome fight was 

My Soveraigne Lord, and many a Peere and Knight was, 

The Hopefull Prince and James Dux Eboracenfis 

(Whom God defend from Rebells falfe pretences) 

The Sunne of Sacred Majefty did fruftrate 

My former griefes, and all my joyes Illuftrate, 

His gracious Eye, did fee where I did ftand ftrait, 

He came to me, puts forth his Royall hand ftrait, 

Which on my knees, I humbly kneeld and kift it, 

I rather had left all I had, then mift it. 

But now at Oxford, I was fafe arrived, 

How to be well imployed my Braines contrived, 

My purfe was turn'd a Brownifi or a Round-head, 

For all the Croffes in it, were confounded, 



To fome Imployment I my felfe muft fettle, 

Fire muft be had to boyle the Pot and Kettle. 

Then by the Lords Commiffioners, and'alfo 

By my good King, (whom all true Subjects call fo) 

/ was commanded with the Water Baylie 

To fee the Rivers clenfed both nights and dayly. 

Dead Hogges, Dogges, Cats, and well flayd Canyon Horfes 

Their noyfom Corpes foyld the Waters Courfes : 

Both fwines and Stable dunge, Beafts guts and Garbage, 

Street durt, with Gardners weeds and Rotten Herbage. 

And from thofe Waters filthy putrifaction, 

Our meat and drink were made, which bred Infection. 

My felfe and partner, with coft paines and travell, 

Saw all made clean, from Carryon, Mud, and Gravell : 

And now and then was punifht a Delinquent, 

By which good meanes away the filth and ftink went. 

Befides at all commands, we ferv'd all warrants, 

To take Boats for moft neceffary errants, 

To carry Ammunition, food and fewell, 

(The laft of which laft Winter was a Jewell.) 

Poor Souldiers that were Maim'd, or fick, or wounded 

By the curft meanes of fome Rebellious Roundhead ; 

To carry and recarry them our care was, 

To get them Boats as caufe both here and there was. 

Thus have / been imployd, befides my trade is, 

To write fome Pamphlets, to pleafe Lords and Ladies, 

With Gentlemen or others that will read them, 

Whofe wits (I hope) not over much will heed them. 

To all thefe fervices I am immediate 

Obedient, willing, at occafions ready at. 

My Riches is my Lame Legge, let the blame lye 

Vpon that Legge, becaufe I have writ Lamelye. 


No Mercurius Aulicus. 

[Hazlitt, No. 94.] 

i£* 4?> 4*i 




But fome meny flafhes of Intelligence, 

|> with the Pretended Parliaments Forces 

befiedging of OXFORD foure miles off, and 

the terrible taking in of a Mill, inftead of the 

King and Citie. 



Alfo the breaking ofBooKER, the Affe-tronomicall 

London Figure-flinger , his perfidious Predi<5tion 

failing, and his great Conjunction oiSaturne 

and Iupiter diflocated. 

By John Taylor. 

Printed in the Yeare. 1644. 



Aifter John Booker, you were lately pleafed to fet forth 
in print, a very little witty, pretty, unmannerly pam- 
phlet, againft one Maifter George Naworth, ('who was 
then at Oxford;) which proper piece you did Anabap- 
tize by the name of, A rope for a Parrat, Or a cure for a 
Rebell pafl cure. Wherein you did not onely Magnifie, and dignifie 
Rebells which you hold in honour and excellency ; but you did moft 
audacioufly ftellifie the head fire-brandof this Kingdoms lo/mPjm; and 
then your wifedome fell upon railing at me, (whom you call Aqua- 
tions) I am bold to tell you fnow the Buggbeare fearefoole predicti- 
on is paft, concerning the fatall Conjunction of Saturne and Iupiter, 
May 31.) that though you with your Brothers (Mercurius Britannicus, 
Mercurius Civicus, your Mercuriall Scout, and your Pigeon of the 
Scot,) have made fport to your felves in abufing and belyeing the Ma- 
jeftyes and Royall perfons of the King and Queen, the right Honour- 
able Lords and faithfull Nobility, the Reverend Clergy, the Loyall 
GentryandCommunalty; andarnongftthereftourtrueandexa6t.fl/>r- 
curius Aulicus, and that known and approved Aftronomer M. George 
Naworth : all thefe were not a fufficient confiderable number for your 
witty folly to work on, but your invention muft needs fpirt, flirt and 
fquirt at me, for the which great Kindeneffe ( to expreffe my grati- 
tude) / falute you as followeth. 

Firfl you threaten us, that Iohn Pym's Ghoft fhall haunt us, and 
hunt us out of Oxford Short-lye, but this your Short-lye is a Long-lye, 
a Broad-lye, and a Round-lye. For we at Oxford doe know the Ghofts 
of all fuch Peftiferous Rebels to be attendants upon their old maifter, 
and receiving their wages with Achitophell, Machiavell, &c. and 
though thou canft make many of your Cuckolds and Coxcombes fear- 
full of thy foolifh Predictions and devilifh divinations, yet the yong- 
eft of us are fo old, and the moft ignorant fo wife, as not to be timo- 
roufly fcard or affrighted with Ghoftes or Goblins. Then you are bu- 
fie with Scripture lames 3. 8. and Rom. 3. to anfwer which I will 
reverendly handle a fmall portion of that facred Volumne, which 
fhall be nothing prophane, more fignificant to the purpofe, and moft 
Correfpondent to you. A 2 I muft 


/ muft acknowledge, that the very Ayre of Oxford Colledges and 
Schooles, the Authours I have read, the Bookes I have perufed, and 
the Dictionaries I have poar'd upon, hath much illuftrated elevated, 
and illuminated mine intellect ; for I have picked out here and there 
the Etymologies, Expreffions, Explanations, and Significations of 
hard words out of divers Tongues and Languages. As for example, 
I reade'in an ancient Manufcript, written in the Reigne of Senacha- 
rib, (the Authour being one Coban Shajhjha) that Booker is a Syriak 
word, which in the Arabik fignifies Balaam, which in the Hebrew 
is a falfe Prophet, which in the Englifh is a lying Knave, and a railing 
Rebell, which (for a period) deferves to be hanged. Now Mafter Ba- 
laam Booker, or Booker Balaam ( take which end you will formoft ) 
you may reade that the Prophet was rebuked by an Affe, which Affe 
was much wifer than you were, when you wrote your lying Progno- 
ftication of your great Conjunction ; yet by that playing at legerde- 
main, with the Starres and Planets, you caufed whole Armies, 
Heards, or Droves of Affes (with other wilde and tame Beafts) to 
come from London to look upon Oxford, where fome of your Scouts 
and Scoundrels were fo valiant as to venture as neare as our Gal- 
lowes, but our Cannoniers blew 'em away with a powder, for we 
were not willing to do them the courtefie, as to lend them our Gal- 
lowes to hang themfelves. 

Saul was fent to feek two Affes, and (not finding them) he found 
a Kingdome ; and you, fent two great Affes ( with many thoufands 
of fmall ones ) to feek a King, and ('not finding him,) you went not 
far before you found Affes. And worfe than Affes are all thofe who ir- 
religioufly do lay by their truft in God, and put any confidence in thy 
figure-flinging, fabulous predictions, wherein are not fo many truths 
and realities, as are in the Bookes of Fortune, the Shepheards Ca- 
lendar, Erra-Pater, Mother Shiptons Prophecy, or the long eard 
Outacoufiicon of Albumazar. It is too certain, that (by thy inftigati- 
on) the beliefe that the feduced People had of thy falfities, made 
them impudent in Rebellion againft the King, confident in conquer- 
ing of Oxford, and diffident in nothing (but in God.) Yet I muft ac- 
knowledge, that on the 31 of May laft, 1644. When the Rebells 
Army had faced us by fpirts and flirts, in and out, to and fro, here and 
there, the fpace of but 3 or 4 dayes, the City and Garrifon were put 
hard to it for want of provifion. Wheat was at foure fhillings the Bu- 



fhell, Butter at foure pence the pound, and Biefe at twenty pence the 
Stone, and all things elfe were raifed to fuch a rate in fo fhort a time, 
that Horfe flefh was greedily eaten in the Town, (by Mafter Oliver 
Smiths Hounds) and the Streets ran with blood, at many Farriers 
Stalles, who that very fame conjunctionall, fatall, ominous 31 day 
were phlebotomically practifed upon. It is conceived that thou art 
{imply skilled in Augury, and the flying of Birds, Owles, and Wood- 
cockes are as good to thee as an Ephemerides ; all the Tribe and ge- 
neration of the Gotamifts do reverence thee, and hold thy fage pre- 
fages to be no Apocrypha, and it is fuppofed thou art defcended by the 
father from the learned Zebajh (one of Pharaoh's Magicians,) and by 
the mother from the famous Witch of Endor, or Elimas the for- 

It is recorded in Jofephus his Warres of the Jewes, that at the 
Siege of Jerufalem, Vefpafian or Titus ufed Engines for Battery cal- 
led Rammes ; and your fide, party or Army, had with you, (when 
you ftared and gaped upon Oxford, 60 of His Majefties great Ord- 
nance which you have perfidioufly ftolne from Him, to fhoot Bul- 
lets at the King, to fecure his facred Perfon ; but if Rammes or wea- 
rers of Rammes Homes would have but remembred Jericho, than if 
thoufands of your zealous Troopes and Bands had but blown their 
Cornucopiaes, it is no doubt but our Walles, Bulwarkes, and Ram- 
piers, had been a meer Jeere-i-Cho. Your Book ( Mafter Booker) 
called A Rope for a Parrot, was written by you with as much judge- 
ment and knowledge, as you wrote your Prognoftication ; for you 
know a Parrot knowes not what fhe fayes, and you did not under- 
stand what you fcribled ; Saturne and Jupiter are both angry with 
you, becaufe you were fo fawcy to father your Lyes upon them ; and 
I do wifh thee to look to them, for they are both turned Malignant 

Thou telleft us fo often of hanging (in thy Pamphlet) as if thou 
wert the firft-borne begotten fon of a Hangman, and that all the 
Gallowes in England were thy hereditary portion for thee and thy 
friends ; moreover thou art a moft expert fhuffler of the Alphabet, 
and by fhifting of letters haft gotten a fine skill to fpin and twift Ana- 
grammes, wherein you profoundly found your owne name (John 
Booker) to be Honi Brooke, ( moft aquaticall and melifluous ) but I 
will do thee a bigger courtefie for an Anagramme, as thus, Johannes 

A 3 Bookerus 


Bookerus, Knave robs his Noofe, which by interpretation (in the 
Chaldee Paraphrafe) is, Booker will fteale his halter ; or Johannes 
Bookerus, Noofe his Knaves rob ; or, He's fo vain, fo broaken ; or 
John Booker doth intimate a word which the ancient Medes and Per- 
Jians ufed for a foole, which in Babylon and Damafcus is Horko- 

It is to be wondered, what a wonder thou art, that fo wondroufly 
couldft gull fo many Animals (who would be counted wife) that they 
fhould be poffeft fo inveterately with the Corahticall, Dathanicall, 
and A biramicall fpirit of Rebellion, and to perfift fo damnably in it, 
by confiding in thee, that they fhould with an unknown audaci- 
oufneffe, prepare and draw forth fo many of the bad Subjects of fo 
good a King, to brave and attempt to affault him, to ruinate and 
fpoile his beft and loving People, and to lay wafte and defolate the 
moft famous Vniverfity in the Chriftian World. But as his Royall 
Coyne is circled with Chrifto Aufpice Regno, fo is he divinely circled 
about with divine defence and providence, that He and his hopefull 
Pofterity fhall reigne till Time fhall be no more, for his confidence is 
in that bleft Speech of the kingly Prophet, Exurgat Dens & dijjipen- 
ttir inintici. 

Thus it is plainly perfpicuous that the animation and hope of wic- 
ked fucceffe, by the vicious vertue of your lying Calculation, did 
draw your Generals, (with the reft in generall and particular) both 
purfe and perfon to this execrable March in May, where in ftead of 
taking a King, a renowned Academy, and a City, onely the fpoile of 
a few poore Villages, fome Townes, a great deale of pafture and 
corne-fields, with the plundering of two Carts laden with old joyn'd 
Stooles, and fome houfhold ftuffe, and robbing nine Butterwomen. 
The Malignants his Excellency, with his Affociate William of the 
Weft, or William with a wifpe, made their victorious Conqueft upon, 
were Abingdon Croffe, and two rotten mills at Onflow and IJlip, 
with the loffe of neare feven hundred of their men, befides their 
maimed and wounded, and not above thirteen of his Majefties Army 
either flaine out-right or hurt mortally. 

For your parts I doubt not but you have done or will maintaine 
the credit of your invifible Conquefts, with publique thankefgiving 
in all your unfainted and unfanftified Churches, with jangling your 
Bells, and blazing zealous Bonefires in your Streets, and by ftirring up 



the miferable mifled People to believe once more in the unfaving 
Publique Faith, whereby they may be further cozened of the other 
I or 200000/. to reward your mighty Commanders, and your Bre- 
thren the Scots, who do fpeed as well in the North as the reft have 
done about Oxford, is not to be feared or doubted. 

Thus ( Monfieur Bookerus ) I have anatomized and skellitonized 
your railing Pamphlet and ridiculous Prediction .• it is known too 
well, that the expectation of fome mifchievous events was the ladder 
on which your meditations mounted. You were believed amongft a 
company of catacoxcombrian Plebeians, as amongft the Heathen the 
Delphian Oracle ; amongft many you were accounted as the Celeftiall 
Bearward, and that Urfa major and Urfa minor were your Cubbes, 
the Dog-ftarre was your Whelpe, for you brought him up of a pup- 
py. Mafter Booker, Taurus is your beft game-Bull, and that is a Beaft 
of your own breeding, it is fuppofed you fucked him fmce the nrft 
time he was a Moon-Calfe ; htpiters thunder is your Taber, Mercu- 
ry is your Bagpiper, and writes your Beare-gar-den Bills, in the 
forme of Planetary Conjunctions, Charles his Wain is but a Cart to 
you, and Ariadnes Crown is at your difpofall, Hefperus and Vefperus 
lights you to bed and to breakfaft, the Pleiades are your Handmaides, 
and Cajlor and Pollux are your Pages. 

In a word, I hold thee to be more than mortall, and that the Dra- 
gon being ficke, and much troubled with the Megrim in the Head, 
fo that JEfculapius was fent by Iupiter to give him a clifter, which 
being applyed, the Dragon voided thee out of his Taile for a worme. 
This was once your high eftate and eftimation, but how art thou fal- 
len, thou wonder amongft wifemen and widgeons ; the feven 
Planets are highly and implacably offended with thee, and ( inftead 
of their influences ) they will infufe into thee feven deadly fins, and 
all the twelve Signes have fhut their celeftiall Gates againft thee, at 
the command of Saturne and Iupiter, the ftarres are malevolent pre- 
tending and portending revenge againft thee for belying them, and 
calling and caufing them to witneffe thy lying Conjunctions and trai- 
terous expofitions of them. Aries will brow-beat thee, with bat- 
tering thy fhameleffe Head and Face, and make thee Horne-mad. 
Taurus will gore thee through the Necke, and hunch thy Lyes 
into thy Throat; Gemini will baftinado thine armes and ftioul- 
ders with a cudgell called Morbus Gallicus ; Cancer fhall gnaw thy 
ftinking Stomacke, and (like the worme of confcience ) torment thee, 



he fhall crabbedly torment thee, and Crab-lice fhall crawle over thee. 
Leo fhall rage hotly, roare terribly, and bite thee horribly in the Dog- 
dayes. Virgo fhall accufe thee for a Rape, for lying with her againft 
her will, and belying of her in thy foifting fuftianifme, for which fhe 
will vexe thee to the very gutts and belly, with CJiollickes, Strangu- 
ries, Dropfies, Convulfions, and Hippocondraicus. Libra hath weighed 
thee in his Ballance, and findes thee too light, his ^Equinoftiall 
Scales fayes thou wants fo many Graines either of Troy or Averde- 
pois of honefty, that he will poffeffe thy Reines with the loathfome 
Gonorea, and thy Kidneys with the Stone more feeling and fenfibly 
than that of the Philofophers. Scorpio (in fecret ) remembers thee, 
therefore look to thy Prepuce, be carefull of thy Priapus, for he will 
have a fling at thy Tejliculanorums. Thou haft difpleafed Sagittarius, 
in fhooting dog-bolts and fooles-bolts in his name, without his leave, 
for the which he will fliut Sciatica fhafts into thy Hippes and huckle- 
bones, and pocky arrowes through thy Thighes. Capricome will give 
thee no more Goates milke, and will ftrike thy knees into fuch a ftif- 
neffe, that thou fhalt never have the grace to bow them to any other 
Gods than thofe of the Clofe Committee. Aquarius, or Aquaticus, will 
dafh and balderdafh thee, ducke, fowfe, pumpe and plunge thee, in- 
to the bottomleffe Gulfe of Mare mortuum ; or if thou fcape that, he 
will plague thee with Goutes and Crampes, and laftly hurle thee 
headlong into the perpendicularity of the vaft watry Region ; where 
thou fhalt irremediably and irrecoverably be crippled in thy feet, 
root and branch, cap a pe, top and taile by Pifces. 

How thinkeft thou now of thy felfe ( thou quondam wifedome of 
five Juflices ) thou haft fpun a faire thread, bigge enough to make 
thee a Gregorian neck-lace, I pray thee do but look in a glaffe, and fee 
the figure of we two, I tell thee, ( without fwearingj that I am very 
fory for thee, but I could hardly weep to fee thee and all thy friends 
hanged : that's a full point. 

Mercurius Aulicus and George Naworth do fo farre flight thee and 
thy fordid railing, as the Lion or Maftifte regards not the barking and 
bawling of a mangie Curre ; onely I my felfe (yea my very felfe) 
have out of my grace and clemency vouchfafed to defcend fo low as 
to honour thee with this mine Anfwer. If wifhes were availeable, 
I would wifh thee to play the lying Knave no more, give over wri- 
ting of Treafon, and incenfing People to Rebellion, confeffe thy 
faults in abufmg of me, and I perhaps will begge thy pardon. 


Iohn Taylor to Iohn Booker. 

[Hazlitt, No. 95.] 


Being yet unhanged, fends greeting, to 


That hanged him lately in a Picture, in a traiterous, flan- 
derous, and foolifh London Pamphlet, called 

A Cable-Rope double-twifted. 

Thou Booker hang 1 ft mepiflur'd in a Boat, 
Whereby thoujhewfdft thyfelfe the Hangman's Groom, 
The Hangman Jhall hang thee, and men Jhall note, 
That under Tyburne thoujhalt have a Tombe: 
And lowfte Ballad-makers Rimes Jhall Jing, 
There lies a Rebell, that revil'dhis King: 
Thou hang' ft my Piclure, but I do forefee, 
That (in revenge) the Hangman Jhall hang thee. 

Gallogras Choka Cur dog Weafando Suffocatiorum. 

Printed in the Yeare, 1644. 



Ellfare an old Friend in a corner, but I have found 
an old corner in a Friend, that in thefe hard times 
hath fent me a True Loves Knot made of a Cable- 
Rope double-twifted, and withall hath moft Em- 
phatically, Mathematically, Aquatically, and Em- 
blematically hanged me in a Boat at London, and 
after that (moft ftrangely and tranfubftantially) he fends me a 
Rope to Oxford. This is Booker's Aff-tronomicall Legerdemain, to 
hang a man firft and fend him a Rope afterwards, for the which 
courtefie I will fend him a few fmall Lines, which he may twift at 
his leafure, and hang himfelfe after at his pleafure. But this prelu- 
dium is filly fimple ftuffe, for though it may be fuitable to Booker,s 
ridiculous Non-fenfe railing and reviling, yet it neither becomes 
me to write, or my Readers to fpend time in reading my writings 
if they were not better feafoned with fait, poudered with pepper, 
fharpened with vineger, and made fit, and of fome acute rellifh for 
the pallates of fuch capacities, as can make a diftinftion betwixt 
A Very Knave, and A merry Knave. 

Booker, all the world may perceive the implacability and inve- 
teracy of thy malice for thou canft not be contented, to hang me, 
but thou perfifteft fo uncharitably towards me as not onely to fend 
me a Rope, but to revile me, with the learned Titles of Rogue, 
Prick-lowfe, Pagan, Metropolitan Villain, and fuch other pretty 
Sirnames, which he learned from the Fifh-wives fcoulding Col- 
ledge at Billing/gate, and that hejhould be loath to fowle his fingers to 
anfwer any Pamphlet that comes from Oxford, but that through his 
fides the honour of a Parliament is wounded : to which I anfwer, 
that Parliament at this time is a meer Conventicle, or not the 
fhade of a fhadow of what it fhould be, and thou thy felfe doft ma- 
nifeft the imbecility of it, in that it had no other fortifications but 
fuch rotten paper- walls as thy fides to defend it from the fhot of a 
Scholars or a Scullars pen ; Sirrha, I would have thee know, that 
we at Oxford are true Proteftant pen-proofe, and the King, Queen, 



Princes, Peeres, Clergy, Vniverfity, Army, Magiflrates, and Com- 
mons; are flander-proofe, fo that neither your rebellious fighting, or 
reviling writing, can wound, blemifh or fully the Majeftique luftre 
of Royalty, in the Soveraigne, or the obedient expreffion of duty 
in the Subjecl. 

But thou with thy Conforts, May, Wither, Britannicus, the 
Scout, the Dove, and all the Rabble of lying and reviling Rebells, 
cannot fo much as fcratch my reputation, much leffe can 
they wound either Aulicus or Naworth, and leaft of all can they 
batter with Elder-guns and paper-bullets either majefty or loyalty. 

Prince Rupert (or Robert) whom your fawcineffe is pleafed to 
call plain Rupert, as if his Highneffe and your Knavefhip were all 
fellowes at football, you are fo ftupified in impudence and unman- 
nerly ignorance, that you give that illuftrious Prince, the fcanda- 
lous, Turkifh Titles and Tearmes of Saladine and Saracen, with 
many other fuch bafe expreffions : I do hold it a great happineffe to 
that noble Prince, that he hath worthily deferved to be feared and 
admired by you and all the reft of your rebellious and Traiterous 
Factions ; you have fome reafon to be angry with him, becaufe he 
hath fo often beaten you, (although he never did any harme to any 
honeft man, true Subjeft, or Proteftant ; yet fuch a ftinckard as 
Iohn Booker, Thou, that art a thing, that out of thy imperious 
Clerkfhip to fome Iuftices of Peace, to foure or five of which thou 
waft a directing Gizzard, under their wing, a vermin made up of 
the fag-ends of fellonious cheating, filching, whoring, roguing, 
man-flaughtering, and murdering mittimusses ; thy apparrell one- 
ly made of the threads of Warrants, thy diet out of the Scraps of 
. roafted Recognizances, and thy whole life an imitation of Binding 
over and With-drawing, .this hath been thy Trade of old, thou 
whilom Vnder-Stewards man to one of the Innes of Court, where 
thou didft fatten and batten with fcraps, rumps and kidnies, and 
fcraping of Trenchers, and lately a Guild-hall Publican or Toll-ga- 
therer for the maintenance of damned Rebellion againft God and 
the King. 

And this Booker, this Thing, this Nothing, this any thing (except 
a good thing) doth flirt poyfon, and with ftinking calumnies againft 
the facred Honour of Princes, Religion, piety, and humanity, revile 
the King, Queen, and all that fincerely love or obey either God or 

A 2 If 


If there were a Parliament, which thou fo manifefteft, they would 
fhew fome fruits of a Parliament, in hanging thee, with all thy Bro- 
thers (Knaves and Libellers) that do make a dayly and weekly 
Trade to vilifie their Sdveraigne, with the Queen and loyall Nobili- 
ty. There is a Statute unrepealed yet, that makes it no leffe than 
High Treafon, or Treafon in the higheft degree; and that Aft be- 
ing (till in force, me thinkes, fhould flop your mouth with a hempen 
culliffe or Caudle. But your nick-name Parliament doth not onely 
maintain and retain a fcattered Heard of fcribling Villaines, but al- 
fo they do allow moft refpe£t, favour, countenance and meanes to 
him that can lye, raile and flander moft : therefore I conclude, if 
they were a Parliament, the facred Name and Honour of His Ma- 
jefty fhould not be fuffered to be abufed fo tranfeendently (beyond 
all prefidents) but that they would by Law and Parliamentary Au- 
thority fend yee all to Gregories market, and feed Crowes with 
your traiterous mifchievous Heads, and filthy, treacherous, rebelli- 
ous, flunking, quartered carcafes : therefore no Parliament. 

But do thou and all the reft of the Generation of Vipers caft ne- 
ver fo many of yourTraiterous flanders upon his facred Majefty and 
his pious fincerity, yet hisRoyall andChriftian conftancy is fo firme, 
that you do all juftly deferve an univerfall hanging, in not believing 
and belying his fixed and (never to be violated) true Proteftations, 
His Majefty is fo well grounded in His Religion, that He is refolved 
to maintain, defend, live and die in the Proteftant Faith, of which 
Faith His Father (of bleffed memory) and himfelfe have been De- 
fenders above fourty yeares, and which Faith you and your Faflion 
have been Defilers almoft foure yeares. 

I with you had the manners to forbeare taxing His Majefty with 
Papiftry,till fuch time as you knowHimtobe no Proteftant. Indeed 
He is in mind and body compacted of fuch an unyeilding constitu- 
tion (which your loyalty may call ftubborneffe) that He will not 
bend or bow to your new-found Doctrine, fo that there is no hope 
that you will ever be able to make a zealous Brownift, or devout 
Anabaptift of Him ; therefore I advife you to be quiet, and let him 
be a Proteftant ftill, for you labour in vain, and it is neither in the 
power of you, or the Devill your Mafter, to alter Him from being 
conftant, pious, juft, mercifull, &c. 

Thou railed moft delicately, againft learning and the Vniverfity, 



which in one word or two I will anfwer with an old faid Saw, Art 
hath no enemy but ignorance, as for the King, Queen, Peeres, Clergy, 
Vniverfity, Cavaliery, Infantry, &c. Their own worths and vir- 
tues are their vindications, fo that I will not prefume to fay thou 
canft wound their Honours, either through my weak fides, or any 
wayes elfe that thy hellifh brain can invent, therefore He let them 
alone to defend themfelves, and turne once more towards thee in 
mine own defence. 

As when Chriftopher Columbus (an Italian) firft difcovered fome 
fmall part of the (then unknown) America, Vefpufius (a Spaniard) 
failing the year after, with the Chart or Card, Compaffe, Mappes, 
and Mariners, that formerly Columbus had ufed, the faid Vefpufius 
difcovered more Land, as the golden Peru, and other vaft Conti- 
nents, and at his returne (being at dinner with Columbus and others) 
Vefpufius bragged that he had onely found out that new and rich 
World, at which words the' Italian took an Egge in his hand, afk- 
ing Vefpufius, if he could make the Egge ftand on one end upon the 
Table, to which he anfwcred, he could not do it, then the other 
faid that he could do it, and prefently he put the Egges end into the 
Salt, and it ftood upright ; then the Spaniard faid, that he could do 
that tricke as well as he, to which the Italian replied, fo you could 
finde A nterica when I have fhewn you the way. And much like 
haft thou Booker anfwered my Book, called \No Mercurius Auli- 
cus] thou haft (like an Affe) yoaked thy felfe with my Heifer, for 
thou haft not the wit to plough without her, you play with your No- 
dy-grammaticall foolery in Anagrammatizing my name, (as Iohn 
Tayler, Ioyn Halter) and filleft thy patched Pamphet with quefti- 
oning and cavilling, at changing [o] into [e] with fuch fkimble 
fcamble, fimple, froathy ftuffe, as would ferve to give a knowing 
hide-bound Dog a comfortable ftoole or two. 
, But as they are, and the condition they now are in, they have no 
other way of fupportation, but what proceeds from the blacke 
mouthes of your zealous, Atheifticall, long-winded Preachers (or 
Tautologicall prating Lecturers) with the aide of you and your holy 
Tribe of accurfed Pamphlet mongers ; it is you that with your 
Spirituall and Temporall damnable Devotions, and infernall pra- 
ttifes, that do uphold the ufurped Dignity of that Idoll Dagon Se- 
nate ; it is you that bring oile to quench the flames of this afflicted 

A 3 Kingdome ; 


Kingdome ; it is you that have bewitched, befotted, and picked 
the purfes of as many as believed you ; it is you (and your inftigati- 
ons) that have raifed and defended this unparallelld and unnaturall 
Rebellion ; it is you that (by Innovations in the Church) have al- 
moft made the glorious Proteftant Religion invifible, and (to cover 
your Villanies) with hypocriticall and odious Lyes, you charge the 
King and his Honourable Counfell with Popery, it is you that def- 
end the New Affembly in their Synodicall Confultations, in fra- 
ming and forging a new Aharon, or a Talmud ; it is you that have 
made Knaves and Fooles believe all this ; it is you that have ba- 
nifhed, imprifoned, robbed or murdered as many as would not be- 
lieve all this, and my hope is to live to fee you hanged for all this. 

Therefore it is no marvaile if they maintain you, for you are the 
onely props that uphold them, when you give over Lying then their 
Honour will lie in the duft, and when they fall you will be in danger 
of fterving ; for as Phocas by the murder of his Mafter Mauritius 
(the Roman Emperour) gat the Empire to himfelfe, but was held 
in an odious eftimation arriongft all good men, fo that his ufurped ill- 
got eftate flood tottering, and his life in dayly hazard (by the friends 
of the Affaffinat.ed Emperour) at the fame time, the Bifhop of 
Rome (Boniface) ambitioufly fought to be chiefe and Vniverfall 
Bifhop over all Chriftian Churches, which pride of his was oppofed 
by all the godly and zealous Bifhops in the World ; but at laft, the 
Murderer Phocas and the afpiring Pope made a bargain, which was 
that the Pope mould by his dreadfull Thunderbolts of Excommuni- 
cation affright the People into obedience with the Emperour, fo 
the Emperour (by force of Armes) would beftow the Primacy 
of the whole Earth on the Pope, this match was made, and the 
moft fignificant application of it is, that by as good right as Phocas 
reigned, by the like right doth Bookers Parliament rule, and by the 
fame right do thofe fore-mentioned Villaines and they maintain 
and defend each other, by Murder, Sacrililedge, Ambition, Trea- 
fon, Rebellion, and mine of this ancient, famous, late-flourifhing, 
and now moft wretched and miferable England. 

Our Maremaid Tavern (thou faift) is turned Ale-houfe (for 
want of wine) but if any of the Planets told thee fo, tell them they 
lyed, for there is fufficient of Wine in that Houfe to make all the 
true Subjects in your Army as drunke as Beafts. 



Thou taxeft Naworth and me with being blinde, that we could 
not fee but miftake, and take Iupiter for Mars, this miftake might 
be an efcape or fault in Printing, and my Book was too fmall to have 
an Errata annexed to it. I anfwer, that Naworth did no more know 
of the writing or printing of my Book, than thou and thy Comrades 
do know how or when to be true Proteftants or loyall Subjects ; 
but all the world may perceive thee to be ftarke blinde in thy un- 
derstanding, that couldft not know the King from Iohn Taylor, juft 
as when a man cafts a ftone at a Dogge, the foolifh Curre runnes and 
bites the ftone and never mindes the Cafter ; why, thou ignorant 
blinde Buzzard, it was I, yea, it was I alone, without either any or 
the leaft affiftance from Naivorth, Aulicus, or any other that wrote 
the Book called \No Mercurius Aulicus] wherein I told you truly 
of your miftaking, villanous Prediction ; I tell thee again, thou 
mif-believing Infidell, it was I that galled and fpur-galled thee to 
the quicke, and thou (like a blinde lade) couldft not fee me alone 
that did it, but thou muft fall a fnapping and fnarling at the King, 
the Queen, &c. with others, who never had fuch a thought as to 
thinke upon fo villanous a poyfonous Vermin as thou art. Thou 
fhouldft onely have medled with me that mumbled thee ; but 'tis 
the old tricke of your Pulpiteers and Pamphleteers, to draw the 
more attention, and entice Coxcombs and Knaves to buyyourdam- 
nable roguifh riffe-raffe, to mix and blend fomeflanderous Lyes, and 
Traiterous Ieeres againft our Soveraigne, and his moft gracious 
Government ; for it is a Rule amongft you, that if there be no 
Treafon in the Sermon, or Lying Calumniations in the printed 
Pamphlet, the one will never be liked and rewarded, nor the other 
be bought and fold. 

And now Sirrha, I will tell thee of an Anagram of my Name, 
that defcribes or emblems my couragious undaunted difpofition, as 
Iohn Taylcr, OhartyLion. It maybe IoynH 'alter 'may fall outtothee, 
and I may be the man that may joyne it, but be of good comfort, if 
the Dog-killer do not miftake thee for a dangerous Curre ; then I 
am refolved to give order to the Hangman for thee. Thou fayeft, 
Thou wilt be Jilent hereafter, and that to anfwer A ULICUS, 
NA WORTH, or my Selfe, were to relieve us. Sir, I know I have 
put thee to filence, I have ramm'd up thy bawling chaps, for any 
more medling with me, but thou medleft moft mifchievoufly with 



the Planets, and makeft mod Traiterous Expofitions of them ; the 
Starres and twelve Signes will reward thy lying fophifticating 
Calculations, with their malevolent Influences. Alfo thou reciteft 
(to a damnable purpofe) the ftory of Saul, Agag, and the murder- 
ing of the Protectants in Ireland, when all men of judgement do 
know that Ireland durR not rebell as longasthe Earle of Strafford's 
head was upon his fhoulders : but thofe that thirfted hisblood, did al- 
fo thirft for the Rebellion there and here too, and all the murders and 
outrages in Ireland were occafioned by the Brownijls and Anabap- 
tifts, which Villaines urged the Papifts fo violently to infeft that 
Kingdome. Should I anfwer every Bable, fable, or Knavery in 
thy peftilent Pamphlet, all my truths and refutations would not lye 
in one poore flieet, to which this my rejoynder is limited, but for a 
conclufion I will fend thee a Medicine, a requitall of the Cordiall 
thou fenteft from London to me. I wifh thee not to refufe it, for it 
will cure Difeafes in any Rebell. 
Recipe Of Sayes good workes two hand-fulls. 

Legall Proteftations \ 

The Clofe Committees Loyalty {anna one Scruple. 
Rebells obedience > 

Anabaptifticall duty 
Brownifticall zeale 
Schifmaticall holineffe 
Sacrilegious fan£tity 
Hypocrites purity 
Whites confcience 
Burges his chaftity 
Cafe and Sedwickes Divinity one Dramme. 

Let all thefe be bound up together in a Holland clov/t as bigge as 
the palme of your hand, and tie it faft with the Line of Com- 
munication, let it be watred with the teares of oppreffed and 
diftreffed Proteftants, who are either undone or imprifoned for 
being true Subjects, then take them and beat them well in the 
Morter of Common Calamity, with the Peftle of the Publique 
Faith ; when it is well beaten, mix it with the Braines of Boo- 
ker, May, Wither, Mercurius Britanicus, Prinne, and two or 
three hundred Knaves Braines more, it is an approved medi- 
cine for the encreafe of Rebellion, for the grumbling in the 
gizzard, the flux of the Tongue, or the melancholly mubble- 
fubbles, provided it be taken falling (upon a full ftomacke) at 
five of the clocke in the morning after Dinner. Finis. 

anna two Graines. 


Rebells Anathematized, 

and Anatomized. 

[Hazlitt, No. 97.] 



/ And 

Anatomized : 

A Satyricall Salutation to the Rabble 

of feditious, peftiferous Pulpit-praters, with 

their Brethren the Weekly Libellers, Railers, 

and Revilers, Mercurius Britannicus, with the 

reft of that Sathanicall Fraternity. 

By J o hn Taylor. 

Anno Domini, 1645. 


O, I the Man, whofe ftout impartiall quill 
Dares venture to confront the damned Crew, 
t Knaves who make will their law, and law their will, 
And from the Prefle and Pulpit flanders fpew ; 
Such as with feven great Devils are poffeft, 
Befides of fmall ones (Legions infinite) 
Whofe fiery Furies doth our Peace moleft, 
And to difturbe us, fight, back-bite, and write. 
Firft, Lucifer infpires 'em all with Pride, 
Next, Sathan gives 'em wrath and dire difdain ; 
Their malice ftill Belzebubs power doth guide, 
And Mammon gives 'em thirft of lawleffe gain ; 
Belphegor is the god of Gluttony, 
And Abaddon rules Sloth and Idleneffe, 
Laft, Afmodeus gives 'em Lechery. 
And thefe feven Devils the Rebells do poffeffe, 
And thefe have made them mad, and madly rife 
Againft the Lord of Hofts, and his Anointed, 
Who by their Preaching and their printed Lyes, 
Our Church, Lawes, States, and Freedomes have disjointed : 
Wither that dainty Darling of the Dolts, 
The Scout, the Scotijh Dove, and the Diurnall, 
Thefe (like to Gothams Archers) fhoot their bolts, 
And madly ftrive the Truth to overturne all ; 
Bold Booker foares above the nineteenth fpheare, 
And tells us newes of ftrange prodigious Comets, 
Portending Treafons, all which once a yeare 
Moft Aftrologicall he fquirts and vomits. 
The Scribe that writes the Weekes Intelligence 
Th'Occurrents, and the flying lying Pofte, 
To do 'em fervice He be at expence 
T'allow them every day a Grave/end Toaft. 
Thefe with the Cobling, Tub, pernicious Preachers, 
With Prinne and Burton (fweet-fac'd crop-'ear'd Curres) 
Thefe Parliamentall props thefe Treafon Teachers, 
Have in three Kingdomes kept moft ftinking ftirres : 

A 2 Therefore 

Therefore yee mifled Coxcombs all take heed, 
Believe no more thofe curfed fonnes of Belial, 
Their damned Coufels makes poore England bleed, 
And doth from God and your Alleageance fteale yee all ; 
Outragious Mars hath ftolne AJlreas fword, 
And zww^ (with down-right blowes)hath knock'd rightdown, 
Whileft univerfally it is deplor'd, 
That no man can (with juftice) own his own. 
Mean men to men of meanes you up have mounted, 
And men of meanes you have to mean men turn'd, 
The worft of Villaines you have beft accounted, 
God's peace, the King's, and Kingdomes yee have fcorn'd ; 
London and Wejlminjler ye'ave been the Chaire 
Of violence, t'Acl: mifchiefes (by a Law) 
Prepare your felves, expect the difmall yeare, 
Which you or your forefathers never faw. 
The time will come when all thefe royall graces, 
And peacefull offers which you fcorn'd and flighted, 
You fhall be glad to beg for, and your faces 
Full of confufion, pittileffe, defpighted : 
Your Propofitions, (Puppy - fitions rather) 
Which you to Oxford fawcily did bring, 
And after that to Uxbridge, men may gather 
Your meanings to the Kingdome, Church, and King. 
You knew before you came, your bold demands 
Unfit for you to afke, or any fubjects, 
As for a King to grant, that underftands 
Himfelfe or loyall Servants, from bafe Abjects. 
Your Parliament (pretended) coynes pretences, 
And to pretend Peace you are ftill refolv'd, 
And ftill run on in treacherous offences, 
Wherein our miferies are all involv'd. 
Worfe than the J ewes, God's Houfes you defile 
Worfe than the Heathen, you your King contemn'd 
Worfe than the Turkes, you Morall good exile 
Worfe than the Sodomites, you friends condemn'd, 
Worfe than the A theifts, you no God will know, 
Worfe than the Libertines, Lawes down you trample, 


Worfe than the Wolves, that can no mercy fhew, 
Worfe than the Devill himfelfe, (beyond example) 
Pliny, and Gefner, and brave Mandevill, 
Have wrote of Monfters, and their falvage natures ; 
But never tongue of man or writers quill 
Could parallel you for moft impious Creatures ; 
Your bloudy lives makes Neroes life no fin 
Your faithleffe zeale makes Julian juft and holy, 
Your loyalties like Roman Cataline ; 
Beyond their Crimes all Ages fhall extoll yee : 
You to more curfed cruelty are turn'd 
Than Idumean, Jew, Turke, Heathen, Roman, 
If the Sword fpare you, youle be hang'd or burn'd, 
Or fterv'd, or die abhorr'd, pitied by no man. 
You have been hatching Plots foure yeares and more, 
Contriving and fuborning Forgeries, 
T'abufe the King, and yet will not give o're 
To fcandall him with Libells and with Lyes. 
True Parliaments have held the names of Kings 
Of facred Dignity, and high efteem, 
Next under God, above all earthly things, 
Their Royalties and Honours they did deem ; 
And in this cafe, and all that you have done 
You have declar'd your felves no Parliament ; 
King, Church, and Kingdome, you have all undone, 
Or fought their ruine, or their detriment. 
He were a cunning wife-man that could name 
One good man, that hath fcap'd your tyranny ; 
Or one whofe braine, or hands could mifchiefe frame, 
Whom you have not advanc'd for villany. 
That poyfon-framing Hownd Britannicus, 
That weekly fnarling whelpe of Cerberus, 
That Microcofme of Morbus Gallicus, 
That Lernean venom'd Snake of Erebus. 
The Devill oft doth good, againft his will, 
So you and he doth, for your damn'd defpight 
Proves the King's good, although you wifh him ill, 
And makes his royall fplendour fhine more bright. 

A 3 Thus 

Thus you may fee, you Impes of impudence, 
You mighty Gogmagogs of ignorance, 
You Gulphes of moft ridiculous non-fence, 
You fuper-arrogating arrogance, 
You cannot do the wickedneffe yee would, 
But on your curfed heads it doth returne ; 
The Devill that teacheth to blafpheme and fcold, 
Cannot pfoteft you from contempt and fcorne. 
Since God's eternall Son was crucifide, 
No Gracious Prince was ever more abus'd, 
Than good King Charles, oppos'd and vilifide, 
Robb'd, ranfack'd, and ftill wickedly traduc'd. 
And your almighty favours are extended 
To thofe that could revile moft, or do worft ; 
And by ufurped power you have defended 
And arm'd Rebellion, which God hath accurft. 
A Parliament mould cure a Kingdomes griefes, 
A Parliament mould publique wrongs appeafe ; 
But you in ftead of giving us reliefes, 
Have made the med'cine worfe than the difeafe, 
Worfe, ten times worfe, ten times worfe double told, 
The worft of ills, more bad than bad can be, 
Our miferies unmeafur'd manifold, 
And to three Kingdomes fpoile you all agree. 
Upon great Strafford firft your fury fell, 
His blood muft temper your untemper'd morter, 
His head did hinder, you could not rebell 
To any purpofe till he was cut fhorter. 
Nor could you Proteftant Religion caft, 
Or with fuch eafe worke its confufion further, 
Untill the tenth of January laft, 
You took an Arch-prop from it by foule murther. 
That Function whereof the Apoftles were, 
Saint Peter and Saint James, and more of them, 
Records Ecclefiafticall fhewes cleare 
Of Sees of A ntioch, and Jerufalem. 
And bleft Saint Paul, made Bifhops, (as 'twas meet) 
The one young Timothy, the other Titus ; 


The one of Ephefus, th'other of Crete, 
Who by their lives and Doctrines do enlight us, 
And fince for fixteen hundred yeares and more, 
And Chriftian Churches, Kingdomes, Lands, and Climates 
Have been inftrudled in God's Lawes and lore 
By Reverend Bifhops, Patriarchs, and Primates. 
Therefore if men would note the aime and fcope 
Of thefe fuperbian haughty Independants, 
Each one would in his Parifh be a Pope 
To whofe pipes muft the King and all his men dance. 
Therefore beware, good countrimen beware, 
Beware of them, and of a new Prefbytery, 
Beware their Leaven, have efpeciall care, 
Let not their mad-brain'd Doftrine all befquitter yee. 
They feem t'uphold the Proteftants good Caufe, 
By murdering thofe of that Religion chiefe, 
Bereaving all that Clergy, without Lawes, 
Of life, goods, libertty, and all riliefe. 
They feigne to purge Religion found and fure, 
By bloody Civill Warre, which will deftroy it ; 
And they will keep it neat, fincere, and pure, 
So noyfome as may totally annoy it. 
Blinde with rebellious or prepoftrous zeale 
You have poffeft men with moft ftrange opinions, 
That Churches ruine is the Churches weale ; 
And make the King great, (but without dominions) 
He is your Soveraigne for your fafe protection, 
And you (like Subjects) will obey and ferve him, 
Yet you no fervice owe him, or fubjection, 
And do the worft you can to rob or fterve him. 
Strife cannot be the ground of true Religion, 
Your Se<5ts, worfe than the Alcaron, or Talmud, 
(Like Mak'mets zeale from's jugling whifpring Pigeon) 
Not from the Scriptures Chryftall Fount but all mud. 
What hath the Kirke of Scotland here to doe ? 
Muft Englands Church to that be now fubjefted ? 
We are not conquer' d, or made flaves I troe ; 
Or fo unlearn'd, by them to be directed. 
Our Church with theirs doth neither meddle nor make, 


Our Lawes to alter theirs do not intrude ; 
Why then do they prefumptuous power thus take, 
And cenfure us, as they had us fubdude ? 
Muft Oxford and her lifter Cambridge both 
Learne of Saint Andrews and of Aberdene? 
They to be taught of us would both be loath, 
Yet I am fure there is fome ods between. 
Let Englifhmen remember what they are ; 
And call to minde, but what they erft have been, 
And what they muft be, if they not prepare, 
To ihun the mifchiefes they are compaff'd in, 
You fee that our Religion and our Law 
Our foes would ruinate both root and branch, 
And captivate us with a flavifh awe, 
Or with our blouds their bloudy thirft would ftaunch. 
Upon the Crown, the Royall Paire and Race, 
Upon the Peeres, the Clergy, Church, and Gentry, 
Without refpecl; of Perfon, Time, or Place, 
To fpoile all, they have made a fawcy entry. 
Yet of that noble Northerne Nation are 
Thoufands and thoufands to their Soveraigne true, 
And fuch as are not, Let confuming Warre 
Confound 'em or the Hangman claime his due. 
And now you Pulpiteers, and Pamphleterians, 
I take my leave in your own friendly manner ; 
And you moft high and mighty Wejlminjierians, 
Who have (too long) difplaid rebellions Banner, 
For your blacke deeds, Heavens vengeance lies in ftore 
For Bourckier, Yeomans, Tomkins, Challoner, 
For Lords, Knights, Gentry, Commons, thoufands more, 
Whom you have murdered by inteftine Warre. 
The worme of confcience fhall confume your lives, 
Hell and damnationfhall be your juft hire. 
Your children fhall be mifcreants, your wives 
Begger'd, except Repentance /wage God's ire, 
Which that it may do, I moft humbly pray, 
And let our fervent prayers to Heaven afcend, 
That you may turne, before the laft of May, 

That Englatids miferies may have an 



The Cavfes of the Difeafes and 

Diftempers of this Kingdom. 

[Hazlitt, No. 98.J 







By Feeling of her Pulfe, Viewing her 
Urine, and Cafting her Water. 

The Remedies are left to the Skill and 

Difcretion of more able and Learned 

Written by John Taylor. 

«.!&. 4.^3 4*i I #£ s!Si t«9 *,*> 1&2 *$?•> i 



Printed, 1645 


Caufes of the Difeafes and Diftempers 

Of this K I N G D O M E , &C. 

Hen a learned and well experienced Phyfitian,hath 
either by the Pulfe, Vrin, or other Symptomes, 
found out the caufe of the dangerous difeafe of his 
Patient, he will know or conjecture what is Cure- 
able or paft Cure / And as it is with the Body of 
Man, fo in the Body Politique of the Kingdome, if 
the caufes of our diftempers and diffractions would or could be 
knowne, they might with wifedome and judgement be removed 
and taken away , and then ( by confequence ) the Effects would 
ceafe. And though moft men are either Fooles or Phyfitians, (or 
a both) yet few or none hath either found or fhewed the caufes or a Some men 
reafons of thefe caufeleffe and unreafonable disturbances. Amongft ar e all thefe, 
the many Thoufands of oppreffed fufferers in this our afflicted Eng- ° m r e °^ ° 
land, my felfe ('though no Phifitian, yet the Son of a Chirurgian) one ' f t h e f ej 
am one, that hath had a long time of many tryalls and experiments and fame nei- 
of Waters, and Water-Catling, and I have lately ufed my poor skill tlien 
in Cafting the Kingdomes Water, and though Phifitians may often 
faile in their conjectures, yet ^"Fooles and Children will many b Fooles and 
times tell the Truth by chance. Children will 

I have Caft the Waters of Thames, IJis, Seaverne, Wye, Avon, truth " 
Trent, Number, Owfe, Tweed, Forth, Toy, Spey, Annan, &c. and (as 
I gueffe) I have found out the true caufe and caufes, the needleffe 
why, the impertinent wherefore, and the accurfed unknowne for 
what, this former flourifhing Kingdom is thus Rebellioufly infect- 
ed. And if I could as well Cure, as difcover the difeafes, my gratious 
Soveraigne and all his Loyall Subjects and Servants, fhould quickly 

A 2 have 


have their owne againe in Peace. But becaufe England doth not 
know well what Ihe ayles , ( though I cannot cure her) yet I will 
tell her how it is. 

The Members of this great Body do complaine of the Head, fay- 
ing, that from thence their griefe began ; the Head 'is troubled with 
too much Akeing, Cares, with extreame overwatchfullneffe for 
the prefervation of the mif guiding Members, and the mif guided Bo- 
dy ; The Members pretend the defence and maintenance of the 
knowne Lawes of the Kingdom. 

The King , ('according to thofe eftablifhed knowne Lawes) de- 

fires to Rule, and alfo requires the lawfull obedience due to His 

Majefty by thofe Lawes, and no otherwife. And thofe at Wejlmin- 

Jler, cannot but acknowledge, but that they are all Traytors that 

doe refufe to live in obedience to the King and thofe knowne 

c The Subjcft Lawes. But the Wejlminjlerians doe call all the Proteftants, and all 

is rob'd of his others that are obedient to thofe knowne Lawes, Malignants, and 

bro^ht^nto Popifhly-affetled; And without Law, ( and againft thofe Lawes ) 

flavery, when they Kill , Imprifon , and Sequefter all their Lands , Offices , and 

the Knights Eftates. And thofe lawleffe men doe not only commit this outrage 

and Burgefies a g a inft particulars , but even againft the whole Body of the King- 

have 0I eie<fted dome > f° r they have Rob'd it ( violently ) of the maine Pillar, 

according to prop, and fupport of their Lives, Livelihoods and Fortunes, by ta- 

the Lawes ) king away from them their Elections of their Knights , Citizens, 

wt of p thf and Bur s effes ; for the y have turn ' d a11 fuch out of the Houfe of 

Houfe of Commons, as would not joyne with them in this horrid Rebellion, 
Commons, c when as (they being rightly elected and return'd ) by the Law 
contrary to they cannot put out any, but for fome legall Caufe , as being out- 
rf^Nor^would l awe d after Rebellion, or for being a Felon, Murtherer or Tray- 

I have you be- tor. 

leeve, that I But thefe Traytors at Wejlminjier , are fo lawleffely impudent 
wrote this an( j £ n folent , that as they dare not (themfelves) be tried by the 
I doe' know knowne Lawes , fo they will not permit thofe whom they falfely 
my felfe able accufe to be Malignants, to be tried by thofe Lawes, but have kept 
to fcann all fome in Prifon more then thefe three yeares , becaufe they would 
your ec - nQt comm j(- whoredome with the Beaft at Weftminfter. Tufh, thefe 

vcrifcS * it von 

have occafion are triviall matters , above the reach of a Scullers d Capacity , 'tis 

to ufe me. knowne M r Sergeant Wild will fay, there are Prefidents , that the 

Houfe of Commons have ( as their wifedomes thought meet and 

convenient ) 

convenient) put out fome Members without any legall Caufe 
fhewed (the greater their fault info doing') 'Tis true, I have heard 
there was e one ( not many yeares fince ) that one was put out for e This was 
defiring fome Ginne or Moufetrappe to catch Puritans, and that is one M ' she t- 
one of your Wefiminfler prefidents. By as good reafon , becaufe iatr f i * nd * 

', , _ , , 1,1,, would he had 

fome Iheeves and Robbers have not been hang d, therefore all may then obtained 
lawfully fteale and none be hang'd by that prefident; or becaufe one his defire : or 
of your Members got a Wench with child in his lodging , and was 1 . Wlftl ' that 
not punifhed for f it, fhall that be made a prefident for all others to H" r°any 
get Baftards, or make Cuckolds f other fnare 

I doe heartily defire , I might be permitted to joyne Iffue with mi s ht catch 
you, you have three Iudges with you, and it may be requifite ffor ' em ' or ™ a e 
an accommodation ) that M r Selden, and M r Maynard, were made their man- 
two more ; ( though they love their owne quiet and their wealth ners. 
too much) they are knowne to be learned in the Lawes. Thofe five-^ Sir E ' l ' ward 
might be joyn'd to ours here, and every one of us and you, fubmit to 
their judgements, according to the knowne Lawes ; And (by the 
Lawes) it will appeare who are Traytors, and who are Iwneft s men. g If you had 
But M r Sergeant Wild, and learned M r Miles Corbet, will that is dared t0 fuf " 
not reafon, for they have been inforc'd or neceffitated to doe many f *^^ r Mem . 
things contrary to the Law ; the more Knaves and Rebels ftill. bers to have 

And fhall we of the Kings fide, fay more truly, there is neither been tryed by 

Law or Reafon to kill or imprifon us, to take our Goods, Lands, ' he , V a T' we 

, ./it./- h ad " ad no 

and Offices from us, for the poore thred-bare and unjult Kealon, Carres. 

that you were neceffitated. 

For the Turke doth not cover his Tyranny with Law or Reafon, 

when he takes Goods or Life from a man, for he doth it by will 

and tyrannicall power, even as you doe now to us, for we doe not 

know any injury that we have done you , or any faults we have 

committed againft you, but that you make our obedience to the 

King, and our keeping of the Lawes, our great and Capitall h offen- h Our wealth 

ces. We are all bound in Loyalty to His Majeftie , by the Law of ls alf ° a S"* 1 

God, by the Lawes of the Land, and by the Law of Nature, as our ^ t ° 

grand Parent. And for His prefervation , and defence to keep you 

from killing and murthering Him , and all His loyall and faithfull 

Subjects, we are now neceffitated (according to thofe knowne 

Lawes ) to oppofe you , that are the oppofers of all the Lawes of 

God and the Kingdome. 

A 3 The 

The caufes of your Rebelling, and of the Kingdomes miferies, 
was the great necejjity that you were in, and what (1 pray you) was 
i Thefe were that great necejjity f • becaufe fome Lord ( whom you pleas'd to 
the chief cau- j^ye) m jght not be made Lord Treafurer, another High Admirall, 
Kin°domes and the Lord Say to be an Earle, and Lord Keeper of the Great Sealet 
difeafes. becaufe fome might not have the honour to be AmbaJJadors ; one 

to be Chancellor to the Queene, another Mafter of the Rolls; and of 
the Houfe of Commons, fome to be Maifters of Requejls, Pym to 
be Chancellor of the Exchequer, Hambden Cofferer, in a word, fome 
to be Secretaries to the King, Queene and Prince, or Gentlemen of 
the Bed-chamber to the King or Prince, and all Officers to be put 
out, and your felves or your Creatures placed in their roomes ; be- 
caufe this could not be granted, then you will have it by violence of 
Fire and Sword : And this was the great necejjity you pretend and 
fpeake of. Becaufe thefe things could not be obtained, you finding 
the multiplicity (and fimplicity) of Sectaries, you have made exe- 
crable ufe of their Repugnancie to our Church-Government efta- 
blifhed by Law ; hoping that by your Cunning fifhing in thefe 
troubled Waters, to gaine your ends of ambition, profit, malice, and 
revenge, which doth now appeare to all feeing men, to be the 
ground of this horrid Rebellious Warre. 

For firft, to beginne with the Church, what can you find there 

amiffe, for Reformation, that you do not firft condemne the Apo- 

ftles themfelves, and all the Catholick Church ever fince ; for is it 

poffible you can perfwade Rationall men, that the Government of 

the Vniverfall Church could be fo fuddainly changed from the 

Presbyterian Government (which you ftraine to fupport) fuppo- 

fed, or feeming to you to be fetled by the Apoftles ? Is it not meer 

madneffe to thinke, that the Government fo fetled of Bifhops, 

fhould fo quickly caft out the Presbytery, and that the faid Epifco- 

/«// Funclion and dignity hath fo continued thefe 1600 years, and 

not one Godly Chriftian in fo long time to be found ( no not one 

k A modeme of note or Antiquity ) untill k M r John Knox his time ? But more 

Patriarch, ftrange it appears to me, that in all other Reformed places, there 

^ ° F1 T ug t is not that warmth, or fire of zeale, to be found any where but in 

and little ruffs Scotland only, that will kill and flay all the Englijh, to make them 

in faihion in obey their Kirke (or rather Querke) Government, which is to pre- 

Scotiand. t en d holineffe and brotherly love, to cheat us of our Wealth, quiet, 


and Peace. I will not meddle or fpeake of Reformed Churches, 
God keep them in unity and Tranquillity ; But becaufe I have been 
in Scotland, and have feen fomewhat , but have heard and Read 
much more, of their Querk and their Ecclefiafticall government, 
I will fay this, that I cannot find any great difference between the 
Iefuit and them. The Jefuit would have the Pope only, to have 
all the Spirituall and Temporall powers of the World in him ; And 
the Presbyterians, would be every one a feverall Pope. And this I 
will fay, ( and my opinion hath thoufands to agree with itj that 
it is more milde and tolerable, to live under the Spanifh Inquifiti- 
on, then under their Presbyterian Querke Authority and Tyranny, 
which ( in a word ) hatches Rebellion, feems and feeks fway and 
domination over their King , with all his Loyall Subjects Lands 
and Riches, and this is truly, verily, andfincerely their only zeale. 

They may remember, that the Raigne of Queen Elizabeth and 
hir Royall favour, with the Ayde of the Englifh Nation, fhould 
not ingratefully be forgotten ; it is not many yeares fince that they 
fear'd that the French made Warre in Scotland 'to fettle the Romijh 
Religion there ; ( which they then thought to be an unreafonable 
proceeding by Strangers,) at which time they had recourfe to the 
Crowne of England for their prefervation, ('which then relieved 
them,) and I have read in their Service-Book of their Church of 
Prayers, Thanks, and Vowes, that they would never be againft the 
Englifh Crowne, but fpend their lives for the fervice thereof. 
And now behold the Perfidious and moft abhorr'd ingratitude of 
thefe Monfters, their thankfulneffe is expreft in Killing and Rui- 
ning us, and taking our Townes from us ; But J M r Henderfon will / Another 
fay that the Scottijh Nation (in thankfulneffe for that good turne) modeme Pa- 
they come now (in Gudfuith) to fhew their brotherly love, to de- j^ c ^£ 
liver us from Popery. I mull confeffe, that in your comming you fhort haire, & 
fhew'd a great deale of Affection to us, but you fhould have been long eares to 
better welcome if you had had fo much manners, to have ftaid 'till ^/ rm ' 1 f s 
the King had fent for you. Befides your care for us is very much 
to be admired and Refpe6ted, that you took our danger of Popery 
into your gud Confiderations, when as neither the King or His 
Counfell, nor any honeft man in the whole Kingdom, neither 
could, can, or fhall perceive any fuch an alteration or purpofe. O 
but my Lord Lowden, and my Lord Say, and M r Hambden, percei- 


ved it through the Perfpe&ive Glaffe of their high Wifdomes, 
and they fent for yon ; But was your Prayers and Vowes, made to my 
Lord Say, or M r Hambden, or for, and to the Crowne oi England; I 
know you will fay it was not to the Crowne , but to the People 
that you owe your thankfulneffe ( though it may be made good (by 
Record) that that vaft expence for your deliverance, was meerly 
from the Crowne, and then fo acknowledged by Record ( as may 
be proved.) But the Scriptures are now better underftood by my 
Lord Lowden, and M r Henderfon, for now the People are above the 
m A faire and King, for Kings and Emperours are but the Presbyterians m Curre- 
high Presby- doggs, to keep the Wolfe from their Flock, when they command 

Holr prom °' them ; And therefore ( the y fa y) the y bein g called into En g land 

n I defire not by the Parliament, they underftand ( in their Politique Capacity ) 
to be mifta- that they are called by the King, when God knowes, the King had 
ken, for I taxe too man y Englifh Rebells and Traitors to moleft Him, His People 
bels either and Kingdom, fo that we had no occafion to fend for ftrange Re- 
Engiijh or bells of another Nation to ruine us n totally. I will fay nothing by 
Scots, and it is whofe authority the Parliament is called, nor by whofe Writ they 
knowne, that meet) nor t hat there was ever any A6t or Law made without the 
neft men and Kings Confirmation, thefe things have been handled & difcus'd by 
knaves in eve- more Learned men then my felfe, I will have nothing to doe with 
ry Nation. things that are fo tranfcendent above my Reach. But I would glad- 
Z , ° r s ly let you know, we are not Ignorant of your craft and fubtilty, 
defend their m feeming to make thofe few Members at Wejlminjier to be the 
lawes and H- Parliament, becaufe you and they have Covenanted to divide the 
berties from Spoyle and Government of this Kingdom amongft you. For, firft 
alteration vou know when you were on your Martch with your Army, there 
P Such as M' were three times the number of Lords, wrote unto you from Ox- 
Cafe; who o-fordto difavow your calling in, then there were at Wejlminjier to 
himfe r ife heCied cal1 you ' Bel ' ldes the promifes therein made ° you, the which it 
Pigge at my * s not uim kely but you may have caufe to repent the not accepting. 
Lord Majors And for the Members of the Commons Houfe, the World knowes 
Table, which that the Major part were then at Oxford. But you will make walls 

prove per- an( j stones to be the Houfes of Parliament to ferve your ends, even 
fume in the _ . _ ' ' 

aftemoone to as the Wejlminjier men doe, to cover their Treafon and Rebellion, 

the Congre- caufe and appoint their P Tub-Orators and Pamphletteers, to inform 
gation at Saint the People that the King makes Warre againft His Parliament, 
when (in truth,) if they mean the Parliament, by the greater num- 


ber of the Lords and Commons, the Parliament (in that fenfej are 
either with the King or for the King. 

But the Authors and purfuers of this accurfed Warre, are eafily 
perceived and known. The King ( as I told you ) requires the 
Maintenance of the true Proteftant Religion, and of the known 
Lawes and Liberties of his Subjects, and for thefe things He is op- 
pofed, ( which is flat Treafon ) His life fought, and His Subjects 
and Kingdoms fpoyled. But you doe make this Warre becaufe you 
would inforce the King to abolifh Bifhops, and take away all 
Deans and Chapters, and their Lands to be divided between you 
and your Covenanted Scottifh Brethren ; And for your better ina- 
bling you to fwaye and Domineere over the King and His People, 
you will and muft have the power of the Militia, or elfe you will 
kill the King, and all his faithfull Subjects that fhall defend Him. 
I have read the Chronicles of England, wherein I find Commoti- 
ons, and Rebellions to caufe the King to keep His Lawes, but this 
js the firft Rebellion that I ever heard of, that will not only in- 
force the King to breake His Coronation Oath made to His People, 
but will either kill Him , or compell Him to breake His Lawes 
likewife ; fo that if the King would have been perjur'd for their 
pleafure, they would never have Rebelled againft Him, and indeed 
if they were not Perjur'd in breaking their Oathes of Allegiance, 
and infringing all the known Lawes, we had never been thus mif- 
cheivoufly perplexed. 

And if it be true, that the People doe make Kings, ( as your A- 
poftle i Prinne faies ) therefore they may unmake them if they q The firft 
pleafe : then by the fame Rule may we not fay, we will have no Apoftle, that 
more Knights, Cittizens , and Burgeffes , for doe not the People !7 er e ' . " 
make them ? yes Verily-truly, and Truly-verily. for Libelling. 

Therefore advife well of your bufineffe, that you are fo madly 
troublefome about, if you begin to pull down Kings, I will affure 
you, we will have no Lords or Gentlemen amongft us ; And in that 
( I am fure ) we have the advantage ( in number of People ) there 
being more Poore then Rich to take our parts ; and we fhall have 
as much Law, and more Reafon for ourjuftificatian, then you have 
for this Horrid Rebellion. I would faine preferve the wilfull , the 
obftinate, the miflead, and feduced Londoners, or ( as I may truly 
fay) my Goatham, quondam friends, I will not yet call you Bed- 

B lams) 

lams) I hope you may yet recover your crooked and crazed Witts, 
before all be fpent and loft, the which [ heartily wifh. I know 
fome of you are Learned, I pray you recollect your Readings, and 
tell me fif you can) if you ever found Lawes or Government fetled 
by the Sword (that fo continued) or Jujiice, or Right, fuppreft 
long without being reftored ; And therefore if you doe ftill conti- 
nue your disburfements in maintaining this Rebellion, you will 
have the curfe of all England, as your being the caufers of all our 
miferies, and confequently of your own undoing ; for we all know, 
that if you doe lock up your Purfes , that we and you fhall have 
r I defire the Peace laid at our doores, r By which means, we might have a free 
common peo- p ar ii ame nt to ftop all our Breaches, and build up the Ruines which 
more coufe" ^ s unnaturall Warre hath made, without which, we can expect 
ned out of no other but totall confufion and defolation. 

their Eftates xhe Lawes are the Touch, the Teft, the rule and guide of all our 
an wes. jj veg anc j a Q.j onS) t h e L awe s are terrible to none but Theeves, Mur- 
therers, Traytors, and Rebels , every honeft man and true Subject 
dares look the Law in the face boldly without feare ; we dare you 
/ If the lawes to be judged and tryed by the r Lawes, (as we dare.) Let no Sword, 
might decide b t th Sword of Iuftice, decide the Quarrell, and cut off the 

the Quarrell, _. , ' * ' 

wee mould offenders. 

quickly have a There are but two forts of Enemies that are the Caufers , and 
Clofe-Com- continuers of our Calamities , thefe only are the hinderers and op- 
Head 6 fta d- P°^ ers °f our P eace - The one Caufe is our finnes , and the other 
ing on the top the Rebels ; they are the accurfed Amalekites, that difturbes and 
of the two ftops us from our enjoying our happy reft. If we would reforme 
Houfes. flue one, we mould quickly tame the other ; Therefore let all fuch 

as are averfe to Peace , and delight in Theft and (laughter, know, 
that though the plundering Achan can filch a Wedge of Gold, yet 
there are ftones to beat out the Braines of fuch a Theevifh knave ; 
Let the wife Achittofooles , for accurfed Councellors to this Re- 
bellion fet their Houfes in order and goe hang themfelves. The 
King is ftill the King, and ( maugre all the malice of Hell and Hell- 
hounds) he is wall'd about with divine providence and protection ; 
His gratious God, in whom he only trufts, will defend him , and 
arife andfcatter his Enemies ; though you have Rob'd our Royall 
David of His Militia and Militarie defences , yet there is a Sling 
in ftore, that with a peble can make the greateft Goliahes Grovell 



amongft you. Shamgar, fhall not want a Goade , Gedion a Pitcher, 
and every Loyall Souldier of the Kings, will be a Sampfon, to beat 
your Braines out with your owne Rebellious jaw-bones , that her 
bloudy Iffue ( or Inundation ) may be ftopt by Calme and gentle 

But if this afflicted Land hath fuch an unexpected and undefer- 
ved happineffe ftored up in the eternall Treafurie of gracious Pro- 
vidence, then happy and bleffed are thofe men that are ordain'd 
to be the Inftruments and meanes for a bleffed Reconciliation and 
atonement, thrice happy may they be, and the fruition of bleffings 
Temporall and Eternall be upon them and their Pbfterities ; boaft 
no more of the Spirit, but endeavour to embrace his Spirit, who 
pronounced the Peace-makers bleffed ; and faid whofe Children 
they fhould be called. By which confequently it muft follow, that 
the Peace-breakers are accurfed of God, and alfo may juftly be 
called the Children of their Father the Devill. Leave off Trium- 
phing and glorying in your mifcheivous Imaginations , give over 
Bragging and Vaunting of your Villanous Viclories, forbeare to 
force your Chriftian Brethren to murther one another in fo dam- 
nable a Caufe as this unfellowed Rebellion. 

But if you will run further on , and fill up the meafure of your 
Iniquities, with boafting of the fucceffe of your execrable Dejignes, 
in the end you fhall find , that to boaft of wickedneffe is a degree 
beyond wickedneffe , and to be Oftentatious in ungodly actions 
is the road way to double damnation. 

Before I conclude, I muft propound a Querie, or ask you a que- 
ftion. You have promis'd, that if His Majefty would come and com- 
ply with you, that then you will make Him, a more Great, Rich, 
and glorious King then any of His Predeceffors ever were. Now 
we would fain know, and we doe all defire you to let us under- 
ftand, how, which way, and by what meanes this Greatneffe^ 
Wealth and Glory may be by you conferr'd upon the King? if you 
will doe us the favour as to fend us your mind in writing , we will 
pay the bearer, and if we can perceive any probabilities, that you 
can performe what you promifed , we will be humble fuppliants 
to His Majefty, to accept your kind offer : in the mean time, (be- 
fore you make Him fo Great and Rich as you talk of ) I think it a 
very good ftep, to that Greatneffe and State, if you will be pleafed 

B 2 to 


to give him his own againe , which you have proditorioufly and 
perfidioufly taken, and doe ftill detain from Him. 

Thus have I truly fhewed the Caufes of the Kingdomes griefes, 
to be at firft a Melancholy madneffe, then it was hydropically puft 
up ( in many places ) with Ambition, Malice, Revenge, Avarice, 
Sefts, Schifmes, and Fantafticall Sathanicall Innovations and per- 
turbations. I fuppofe that nothing can cure her but the Law well 
applyed ; to which I leave you and our felves , and fhut up all 
with a diftick. 

haples England '! 'tis thy only good, 
To Purge well, and give over letting Blood. 



Ale Ale-vated into the 


[Hazlitt, No. iio#.] 






A Learned Oration before a Civill 
Affembly of A L E- Drinkers, 


The 30. of February laft, Anno Milli- 

mo Quillimo Trillimo, 


Printed in the yeare, 1 6 5 1. 






L E Beloved Brethren, I am come this day 
to make an Oration in a Tub, having 
dranke all the Ale, the Barrell is turned 
into a Tub, and the Tub transformed into 
a fuitable Pulpit : and my hope is, I fhall 
pleafe you better then with a tale of a 
Tub : my Theame or Text is but 3, Let- 
ters, Ale, which though they are fhort and briefe, in 
the pronunciation, yet they are Copious and ample, both in 
Myfticall, and Intrinficall Expofitions, and Hiftoricall 

A 3 The 


The Letter A . is the Captaine, the Leader, the Conductor, 
the Duke, Ram, and Generall of the Letters, Words, and 
Syllables of all the Speeches, Tongues, and Languages, that 
have been, are, or will be amongft all Nations and People 
in the World. 

And therefore the Letter A. is, in the Originall tongue 
(or Hebrew) called or knowne by the name of ALEph, the 
firft Syllable being Ale, and as an addition of Honour to 
A, and Ale, all the following Letters are called Ale- 
phabet ; and in Greek the firft Letter is ALpha. 

For further proofe of the Antiquity and high eftimation 
of Ale, it is Recorded in famous Hiftories, that many Coun- 
treys, Kingdomes, Nations, and Perfons have had their deri- 
vations, and names from A and Ale; for this Land, this 
very England, was at the firft called Abion : alfo Albion 
was the name of a Giant, one of the fons of the Sea-god 
Neptune, and the Countrey of Albania in Greece (other- 
wife called Epirus, whereof the moft valiant and famous 
terrour to the Turks, Scanderbeg, (or George Caftriot was 
King) had their Originall Epithites from Ale : the Maho- 
metans (with their abufing of Ale in the right ufe and bre- 
wing of it) were madly infpired with Enthufiaftick Rhap- 
tures, that out of the Grounds and Dregs of Ale they brew- 
ed their Alcaron, by the ayd of AleSlo one of the 3 Infer- 
nall Furies. 

The firft part of any name that begins with Al, it doth 
import that the party or place have been, or may be great 
and fortunate. 

For was not ALExander for his great Conquefts called 
the Great? and it is to be fuppofed, that if he had dranke no 
worfe drink then Ale, he had not been poyfoned in Babylon. 



There was alfo ALExander Severus, a Grave Phylofopher, 
a good and mighty Romane Emperour ; and in memory of 
ALExander, there are many famous Cities named Alex- 
andria, one in ^Egypt, which the great ALExander caufed 
to be begun and finifhed in 1 8 dayes, although it was 6 miles 
(within the walls) about. 

Alaricus, a Potent and conquering King of the Gothes, in 
the yeare 408. fack'd the City of Rome, and burnt it to the 
ground: and Alcibiades a valiant Noble man of Athens, of 
the Race and linage of Great Aj'ax 7V/«wz0«,atcheivedmany 
great exploits with fucceffe and victory, to the Honour and 
profit of the Athenians ; yet (for fome fmall faults) they 
ingratefully banifhed him, and in Frigia his head was ftook 

Two Grecian Emperours of Conftantinople, their names 
were Alexius and Caffandra (the Sifter of the Worthy 
Hetlor and Daughter to King Priam) was called ALExan- 
dra, becaufe that by the Vertue of Ale fhe was infpired 
with the gift of Prophecying of feverall forts of truths ; but 
her evill Fate, and the Trojans ill luck was, that fhe never 
was believed, though fhe alwayes Prophecyed truly. Alfo 
there were divers Saxon Kings named Ala : and Aladine 
was a common name to the Sarazen Kings and Princes. A l- 
bumazera. learned Arabian Magitian, was (by his owne Re- 
port) much forwarded in his fkill and knowledge of Aftrolo- 
gy by the operation of Ale of his owne Brewing, the Re- 
ceipt whereof he had from A Iphonfus a King of Naples, and 
Sicilia; befides, Ale doth infufe fuch Vigour and valour in- 
to men of the fword, that as the Hiftory of Barbary (or 
Mauritania) Relates, ten Tuns of Ale was fent'from a 
Confull of ALEppo to Sebaftian, King of Portugall at the 


Battle of Alcafor, which Ale made them fight fo couragiouf- 
ly, that 3 Kings were flaine that day in the field, namely, Se- 
bajlian of PortugALE, Mulley ALEt, King of Feffe, and 
one more, which I omit, becaufe I have forgot his name ; 
but I remember our brave Englifh Stukeley was killed then, 
and there ; and he was partly a King, for the Pope had gi- 
ven him the Kingdome of Ireland, and the troath is, that 
Stukeley wanted but two fmall trifles of the full inheritance 
of it, which was only poffeffion and Coronation. 

Bacchus, who is likewife named Liber, which is frank, 
free, merry, and at liberty ; hee was alfo called Liber Pater, 
which is a free liberall Father ; hee was the firft Inventer 
and Brewer of Ale, for which hee is named Alyfius by ma- 
ny Grave and Learned Writers, as in Bifhop Coopers Dictio- 
nary, and others, and it is unqueftionable that Bacchus was 
honoured as a God, amongft the Ancient Heathen, forhis ad- 
mirable Invention for Potable drinkes ; of which Ale was 
then in his time, to this time, and fhall bee in after times, 
the chiefeft. 

Ale is of that Venerable, and Reverend efteeme, that the 
moft Worthy, Wifeft, and Wealthieft Senators are called Al- 
dermen ; for there is Sage Ale, and to bee Sage, is to bee 
Grave and Wife ; and by drinking Sage Ale, the Wife men 
of Greece were called the feven Sages. 

From this Ale beloved, all beloved Ale there are many 
Vertues have had their Originall ; Charity is a Vertue, and 
though in thefe times fhee is almoft dead with coldfheehath 
taken againft her will ; yet as in Reference from, or ALufion 
to Ale, ALmes are the fruits of Charity, and therefore all 
great Kings and Princes doe maintaine (for the diftribution 
of theirOLmes) fomeGrave, Reverend Perfon, whohath the 


Office and Title of the Kings (or Queenes) ALmoner. 

Moreover, Ale (taken to the purpofe will ALEvate 
and lift up the fpirits with ALacrity, Alios Mirth, ALias 
Courage, ALias Exhilleration and Iocundity. 

The foundation and invention of the myfticall Art of Al- 
cumy, was from the force and fume of ALE : Can it bee i- 
magined that fo many Grave and Learned men have laboured 
in vaine fo many Yeares and Ages, with fuch exceflive and 
infinite charge, but that they have found or know where to 
have the Rich, Rare, Invifible Philofophers (or ALEofophers) 
Stone, fome of them with ALaborate paines, and fome 
pretty coft, have attained fo much fkill and knowledge, that 
they have turned Land into Silver, and all into fmoake and 
fumo, and with as much Iron and BrafTe as would furnifh a 
houfe, they have made a piece of Gold as big as a lowfe. But 
to returne to my Text, Ale ; a mad wag, in a merry Song, 
doth affirme that Ale is not oonely a Moover, Exciter, and 
Inftigator to Arts and Sciences, but alfo that Ale of it felfe 
and in it felfe, is an Alcumift ; as for example. 

It ivill turne your gold to fill) er wan, 

And your filver into Brajfe, 
A Tayler it will make a man, 

And a man it will make an Ajfe. 

I mull acknowledge that there are many and divers forts 
of drinks of great Antiquity and ufe in this Ifland, as Syder, 
Perry, Matheglin, Mead, Braggot, Pomperkin, &c. 
Thefe are all Native and naturall amongft us, of whom I will 
fay little, becaufe their ufe is not of that Amptitude or uni- 
verfallity as Ale is. 



Firft, Syder is made of Apples, and held to bee moft An- 
cient, and that Caine (having learned of his mother Eve) 
did pra&ife it when hee was a Vagabond, and got a great 
eftate by it. My Country ( Glocefterjliire) is moft plentifully 
ftored with it; when it is new it is Laxative, and being old 
it muft bee fugred, and a fkillfull Vintner can make it paffe 
for White Wine, or Clarret, with a dafh of red Perry; the 
Ancient Writers cannot agree, from whence it had its origi- 
nall, fome will derive it from Perfepolis in Perfia, others 
from Perne in America, one fetches the Pedigree from Pe- 
riander (one of the Grecian Sages) but my opinion is, that 
it was invented by one Parry a Welfhman, a coufin German 
to Owen Tuedor, (of the Linage of the Emperour Pertinax, 
and kinfman to Cadwallador Magnus, the Epilogicall King 
of the Cambria Brittaines) howfoever Worcejler fhire is now 
the Fountaine and Magazine of Perry, it is delicious in the 
pallate, and in fome places and conftitutions it isvery opera- 
tive to qualifie drought, and quench thirft. 

Matkeglin, (as it is related in the Hiftory of Monmouth) 
was firft made in a fruitful Vallyat the foot oiPenmenmaure, 
and (in theBrittifhGreeke) aVally is called a Glinne, in that 
Glume or Vally then inhabited one Mathew, who was called 
Mathew of the Glinne, this Mathew had many fwarmes of 
Bees (and brethren) you know Bees make Hony : This Hony 
of the Glinne, with the induftry of this Mathew, was firft 
invented, and it ftill doth beare the Authours name, Ma- 
theglin ; it is purgative, by reafon of its melioration, it eafes 
obftru6Kons, it expells tremor cordis, it provokes dormofity, 
or fleepe, it is (for the moft part) confined to the principalli- 
ty (or 13. Cantons) and in thofe famous Territories it is e- 
quivalent with Mufkadell. 



Mead, came from the Meades and Perfians, and though 
inferiour to Matlieglin, yet it is much like it in tafte and ope- 

Braggot, is not of any Ancient (landing, it is an inflaming 
kinde of tap-Iafh, made of fundry Spices, being hot and dry 
in the third degree, it is good againftcold andmoift inthefe- 
cond, the Originall and Authour of it is unknowne. 

Pomperkin, fome derive it from Pomerania (a Dukedome 
in high Almaine) others from Pompey the Great; but it is 
not probable that fo great a Spirit was the I nventer of fo fmal 
and inconfiderable a drinke ; it is made of Apples, which are 
fqueezed and preffed with water put amongft, it is a poore 
conditioned confection, and tis thought that Perkin Warbeck 
was the Authour of it, in his Rebellion againft K. Hen. the 7. 

Beere, is a Dutch Boorifh Liquor, a thing not knowne in 
England, till of late dayes an Alien to our Nation, till fuch 
time as Hops and Herefies came amongft us, it is afawcy in- 
truder into this Land, and its fold by ufurpation ; for the 
houfes that doe fell Beere onely, are nicknamed Ale-houfes; 
marke beloved, an Ale-houfe is never called a Beere-houfe, 
but a Beere-houfe would have but fmall cuftome, if it did not 
falfly carry the name of an Ale-houfe; alfo it is common to 
fay a Stand of Ale, it is not onely a Stand, but it will make 
a man underftand, or ftand under ; but Beere is often called 
a Hogfhead, which all rationall men doe know is but a fwi- 
nifh expreffion. But to returne to my Text, ALE, from 
whence I have digreffed, and too much madeufe of your pa- 

It is paft mans understanding to conceive the admirable 
flowing and overflowing Innundation of ALoquence that 
Rhetorickally runs from the trowling tongue of a conftant 



ALE-drinker : he will fpeake ALEgories, fo myftically fen- 
tenticus, that the wifeft BachanALian Wine-bibber can ne- 
ver comprehend or underftand literally. Ale will make a 
man impartiall in his knowledge ; for he that is quick and 
nimble in his Ale, will not know his Aijance from ALiens ; 
for if you note the grave actions of a man in his Ale, how 
he will winke and nod upon you with grave and difcreet 
poftures ; marke him when he holds up his finger, and turnes 
up his ALbum Oculi, (the white of the Eye :) then is his 
judgement Ales, quick, or fwift, and his tongue is Ala, a 
birds wing, and his whole felfe is Alius nemo, or no man 
fuch, and then may he be juftly efteemed to be no man of 
this world, but that he is mounted and ALEvated to an 
ALtitude higher then the ALpes ; then will he talke of Re- 
ligion beyond beliefe, interpret Scripture beyond all fenfe, 
and fhewyou pointsof the Law above all the reafon that can 
be ALEged. Matheo ALEman by the vertue and infpi- 
ration of the firft Sylable of his firname, Ale, did write that 
well compofed Booke, and moft excellent fancy of Guzman 
de ALfarach, or The Spanifh Rogue. 

I mould be endleffe, and fpeake much to no end, if Ifhould 
repeat all the good and vertuous words which doe begin 
with Ale, as ALEgiance was ALowed for a Vertue in the 
dayes of Yore, and it is fo yet in France, Spaine, and in other 
places ; for which caufes of tranquility and plenty, which 
former times afforded, our Reverend and Wife Anceftors 
gave them the name of ALcion dayes, as faire, cleare, and 
merry ; for the Bird called Alcion or Halcion, or Kings Fi- 
fher, doth never fhew her felfe, or is feldome feene in foule 
tempeftious dayes, or ftormy weather. And chearfull times 
of the Heavenly Sunfhine of Peace and calmneffe were along 


time the undeferved bleffings which our Englifh Eden en- 
joyed : then one friend, or one neighbour, or more, did e- 
fteem a Pot of Ale for a better Companion in Company, 
then of ten Pot Companions that delight to be drunk, and do 
or ftudy mifchiefe. 

Befides all this, beloved, the word AzEbria is in our 
tranflation, a nourifhing, and the word ALiment is nourish- 
ment, or preferving, and what is more approved for the nou- 
rifhing and preferving of fick or aged People, then Ale ? 
It was wifely and truely faid, that Wine makes the heart of 
man glad, but (not to be prophane) if it be confidered by 
whom, and when, and where thofe words were fpoken ; it 
is plaine and evident, that though the words are true and un- 
alterable, yet the perfon that fpake them is gone, and ga- 
thered to his Fathers in reft and happineffe.the time when is 
much altred,and the place where moftbarbaroufly changed : 
firft they were fpoken by a King, and a Prophet, who could 
fpeake nothing but truth ; fecondly, thofe words were ut- 
tered in a time, when plain honeft dealing was ufed between 
man and man, without deceit or equivocation ; and thirdly, 
they were fpoken in the City of Jerufalem, the greateft 
and moft famous Metropolis of the world at that time. 

It is to be more then conjectured, that there was not then 
in that great City (or fcarce any where) to be found one craf- 
ty Wine Merchant, one juggling Cooper, or one fophiftica- 
ting Vintener ; that Wine was the pure and comfortable 
Juice of the Grape, without any mingle mangle, blending 
balderdafhing commixtion, that Wine would glad the heart 
of man indeed ; and he that will fetch me a quart of that, 
fhall have twelve pence, and thanks for his paine : But moft 
of ourWines now a dayes doe not glad, but mad the heart of 



man,as bydaylyand lamentable experience we perceive by 
the frequent quarrelling, fighting, wounding, killing, and 
murdering, which happens by the exceffive abufe of abufed 
fuming Wines, and intoxicated braines ; of all which, Ale 
(moft vertuous Ale) may plead, not Guilty. 

We have many good Townes in England, whofe names 
are derived from Ale, as ALEsbury, fo called becaufe of 
the ftrong Ale which was brewed there, Nut-brown Ale, 
as browne as a berry, and there the firft Cawdles and Alebe- 
ries were invented for the comfort and reftoratives of old 
fick folks, or women that lay in. 

The ancienteft Records of the famous Towne oiAbing- 
ton in Barkejhire doe teftifie, that the old name of it was 
Alebendona, (and according to the old appellation) 
it is to this day, feldome or never unfurnifhed with moft P- 
table, Potent, high and mighty Ale. Sanbich, Darby, Do- 
ver, Canterbury, North downe, (but efpecially Windfor) are 
Townes and places famous for brewing of this excellent Li- 

There are Antiquaries that doe more then fuppofe, that 
Hercules had never atchieved or accomplifhed his twelve la- 
bors, but by the Vertue and Vigour of Ale, whereby hee 
vanquifhed Giants, Monfters, Dragons : for which Con- 
quefts and Victories (for the perpetuall honour of Ale) he 
was called Alcides. 

Alfo there are and have beene many good Knights 
and Gentlemen, with others of great worth and honour in 
England, whofe names began with Ale, as Sir Aleu Per- 
cy, Sir A LEn Apjley, the Worfhipfull Knights, and Gentry 
of the Families of the ALEffs, and ALEzvorths, or the Al- 
thams, ALEfops, ALEas, &c. with the moft famous Ma- 


fter Edward A LEn (our ever to be remembred Rofcius, and 
renowned Stage A6lor) he Afted an excellent part and piece 
of Charity in his life time, in founding and furnifhing a neat 
and comely Colledge at Dulledge in Surrey, three miles from 
London,iox the perpetuallreliefeof pooreaged people, and a 
Free Schoole for the education of youth : hee got not his e- 
ftate by Totos diespotare, by fitting whole dayes drinking, 
he had wifedome and difcretion to know the right ufe,and a- 
void the wrong abufe of ALE. 

For Ale is an enemy to idleneffe, it will worke and bee 

working in the braine as well as in the Barrell ; if it be abu- 

fed by any man, it will trip up his heeles, and give him either 

- a faire or a fowle fall, if hee bee the ftrongeft, ftowteft, and 

fkilfulleft Wraftler either in Cornwall or Chriftendome. 

But if Ale bee moderately, mildly, and friendly dealt 
withall, it will appeafe, qualifie, mitigate, and quench all 
ftriffe and contention, it will lay anger afleepe, and give a 
furious man or woman a gentle Nap, and therefore it was 
rightly called Nappy Ale by our Learned and Reverend 

Befides it is very medicinable, (as the beft Phyfitians doe 
affirme) for Beere is feldome ufed or applyed to any inward 
or outward maladies, except fometimes it bee warmed with 
a little Butter to warn the galled feete, or toes of a weary 
Traveller ; but you fhall never know or heare of a ufuall 
drinker of Ale, to bee troubled with the Hippocondra,with 
Hippocondragacall obftruftions or convulfions,nor are they 
vexed (as others are) with feverall paines of fundry forts of 
Gowts, fuch as are the Gonogra, Podogra, Chirogra, and the 
lame Hip-halting Sciatica, or with the intolerable griefe of 
the Stone in the Reines, Kidneys, or Bladder; for an expe- 



rimentall proofe whereof, a Reverend Grave Judge dyed 
lately, who all his life time was a hater of Ale, hee being 
perpetually or continually vexed with the tormenting pain 
of the Stone, and when hee was deCeafed, his body was ope- 
ned, where in his Bladder was found a Stone as bigge as a 
Turkies Egge, which the fkillfull Phyfitians and Chyrurgians 
did put into a Bafen of Ale, and in a few houres the Ale 
did diffolve the fayd Stone to fmall Gravell. Take this into 
your confiderations all you ignorant haters of Ale. 

For, are not your eyes opened, your minds illuminated, 
your underftandings enlightend, and all yourfpirits illuftra- 
ted with gratefull Capacities ? As to remember the benefit 
of health which Ale hath univerfally beene the monumen- 
tall meanes to produce and propagate to our Nation, within 
this three or foure yeares : Note but the great ALteration in 
the weekly Bills of mortallity, and you will finde by true 
obfervation, that French Wines being prohibited, and Beere 
(as the Proverbe faith) is downe the winde, Ale being in 
fuch deferved requeft, that for one flaggon of Beere that is 
dranke, foure pots of Ale are acceptably taken, whereby 
Phyfitians have not beene fo much imployed, or Church- 
yards fo fat as formerly they were wont to bee when Ale 
was difpifed, flighted, and negledted : therefore I fay, let as 
many as doe love the prefervation of their lives and healths, 
let them drinke Ale, and alfo let Ale be their drinke. 

Moreover, Ale is melodious, harmonically mufiquALE, 
for it puts men into Quavers, Semiquavers, Minoms, Trou- 
bles, (Treables I fhould fay) Tenors, Counter-Tenors, Bafes, 
and more then fol, fa, ut, &c. for ELA is an Anagram 
of Ale, and ELA is the ALdeboron, or higheft Note of Mu- 
fick, either in winde Inftruments, ftrung Inftruments, or 

Voyces ; 


Voyces; and truly it would doe a deafe body much good to 
heare theftrangeTones,Tunes,and Voyces, which do afcend 
and mount above ELA three Notes and a halfe, from the 
merry Harmonious Songs, and Catches of men in their Ale ; 
for Ale will make a man fing Selengers Round, to the tune 
of Greene fleeves, or Trenchmore, to the tune of Laugh and 
lye down. 

Alfo Ale will make a man a Linguifht, it will teach him 
the Greeke Tongue in two hours, if hee plyhis Ale ALpha- 
bet diligently : Me vat a whee, and me pat a whee, Jhaugh at 
orum, probibi tibi, &c. in Arabick, Cornutian, Diocrifian, 
Paracelfian, and Catharackt. 

Thus (beloved brethren) I have related unto you (in part) 
the Antiquity, the Honour, theVertues, and fcverall ufes of 
Ale, which ufes will bee profitable to you, and to all fuch as 
will make good ufe of Ale. 

The Application of all that I have fayd, dothconfift onely 
in your felves ; the Leffon is fhort, (as my Text was) it is no 
more then this, make conftant Application of Ale to your 
felves, and apply your felves constantly to ALE. And fo my 
loving Brothers, I hold it no offence to fliut up all with a 
friendly conclufion, that before wee part company, wee may 
(for the better remembring of our Text, which was Ale) 
every man drink off his two Pots for Edification. 

From my houfe at thejigne of the Poets Head in Phoznix 

Alley, neare the Covent Garden, or the Globe Tavern, 

nigh to the midjl of Long Aker, where Ale is my 

A Liment, and Element. 

For your better Recreation heere followeth feme few Lines 

in praife of Ale, written in merrier Times, by a moft 

Learned Authour. 

B The 


l 9 

E X A L E-T A T I O N 



The ancient Liquor of this 


A Cleare Definition of its Efficatious operation in 
feverall Pates, Arts, and ProfeJJions. 

Ot drunken norfober, but neighbour to both, 
I met with a friend in Ales-bury Vale ; 
Hefaw by my face, that I was in the cafe 
• Tofpeak no great harm of a Pot of good Ale. 
Then did he me greet, and fayd fince we meet, 
{And he put me in minde of the name of the Dale) 
For Ales-bury's fake, fome paines I would take, 
And not bury the praife of a Pot of good Ale. 
The more to procure me, then he did adjure me, 
If the Ale / dranke laft were nappy andflale, 
To do it its right, andflir up my fpri'te, 
And fall to commend a &c. 

B 2 Quoth 


ao The Ex-Ale-tation of Ale. 

Quoth I, To commend it I dare not begin, 

Left therein my credit might happen to faile ; 

For many men now doe count it a Jin, 

But once to looke toward a &c. 

Yet I care not a pin, for I fee no fuchfin, 

Nor any thing elfe my cotirage to quail : 

For this we do finde, that take it in kinde, 

Much Virtue there is in a &c. 

And I meane not the tafie, though thereby much grac't, 

Nor the Merry-go-down without pull or Jiale, 

Perfuming the throat when theflomack's aflote, 

With the fragrant fweet fcent of a &c. 

Nor yet the delight t/tat comes to the fight, 

To fee how it flowers and mantles in graile, 

As green as a Leek, with afmile in tJie cheek, 

The true orient colour of a &c. 

But I meane the Mind, and the good it doth find; 

Not onely the Body fo feeble andfraile : 

For Body and Soule may blefife the Black bowle, 

Since both are beholden to a &c. 

For when heavineffe the mind doth oppreffe, 

And forrow and griefe the heart do affaile, 

No remedy quicker, than to take off your Liqtior, 

And to wafh away Cares with a &c. 

The Widdow that buried her husband of late 

Willfoone liave forgotten to weep and to waile, 


The Ex-Ale-tation of Ale. 21 

And think every day twain, till fhe marry again, 

Ifjhe read the Contents of a &c. 

It is like a belly-blaft to a Cold heart, 

And warms and ingenders the fpirits vitall, 

To keep them from domage, all ff rites owe their homage 

To the Sp'rite of the Buttery a &c. 

And down to the legs the virtue doth goe, 

And to a bad Foot-man is as good as a faile, 

When it fills the veins and makes light the brains, 

No Lackey fo nimble as a &c. 

The Naked complains not for want of a Coat, 

Nor on the cold weather will once turne his taile ; 

All the way as he goes, he cuts the wind with his nofe, 

If he be but well wrapt in a &c. 

The hungry man takes no thought for his meat, 

Though his flomack would brook a ten-penny naile ; 

He quite forgets hunger, thinks on it no longer, 

If he touch but thefparks of a &c. 

The Poor man will praife it, fo hath he good caufe, 

That all the year e eats neither partridge nor quaile, 

Butfets up his reft, and makes up his feajl 

With a crufl of brown bread and a &c. 

The Shepherd, the Sower, the Threflier, the Mower, 

The one with his fcyth, the other with his flail, 

Take them out by the poll, on the peril of my foul, 

All will hold up their hands to a &c. 

B 3 The 

J 9 

22 The Ex-Ale-tation of Ale. 

The Soldier, the Saylor, the True-man, the Tayler, 

The Lawyer that Sels words by weight and by tale ; 

Take' em all as they are, from tlie War to the Bar, 

They all will approve of a &c. 

All Religions and Nations, all Countreys and factions, 

Rich or poore, Knave or Whore, dwarfifli or tall, 

High or low, this I know, all will boiv, He avow, 

To the high power of a &c. 

The Sallamander, Brazier that baths in the fire, 

Whilfl his Bellowes are blowing a bluflering gale, 

Willfhake off his full Kan, and fweare each true Vulcan 

Will hazard his wits for a &c. 

The Black-fmith, whofe bellowes allfummer do blow, 

With the fire in his face fill, without e're a Vaile, 

Though his throat be full dry, he will tell you no lye, 

But where you may be fire of a &c. 

Who ever denies it, the Prif oners tvill praife it, 

That beg at the Grate, and ly in the Goale : 

For, even in their Fetters, they thinke themfelves better 

May they get but a two penny black pot of Ale. 

For though they be inclos'd in the Grate, 

They le fing and be merry, and care for no Bale ; 

Nor for hunger, for cold, for fetters or fate, 

The Comfort conjifis in a &c. 

The Begger whofe portion is alwayes his prayers, 

Not having a tatter to hang on his taile, 


The Ex-Ale-tation of Ale. 23 

Is as rich in his rags, as the churle in his bags, 
If he once butjhakes hands with a &c. 
It drives his poverty cleane out of minde, 
Forgeting his brown-bread, his wallet, and maile, 
He walks in the houfe like a fix-footed lowfe, 
If he once be enricht with a &c. 
And he that doth dig in the ditches all day, 
And wearies himfelfe quite at the Plough-taile, 
Will fpeak no leffe things, than of Queens and of Kings, 
If he touch but the top of a &c. 
' Tis like a whetflone to a blunt wit, 
And makes afupply where Nature dothfaile: 
The dullefl zvit foon will look quite through the Moon, 
If his temples be wet with a &c. 
Then DICK to his Dearling, full boldly dares fpeak, 
Though before (filly fellow) his courage did quaile, 
He gives her the fmouch, with his hand on his pouch, 
If he meet by the way with a &c. 
And it make the Carter a Courtier firaightway ; 
With Rhetoricall terms he will tell his tale ; 
With Courtefies great fore, and his Cap up before 
Being fchool'd but a little with a &c. 
The Old man, whofe tongue wags f after than his teeth, 
(For old-age by nature doth drivel and drale) 
Will fig and will fling, like a dog in a ft ring, 
If he warme his cold bloud with a &c. 

B 4 And 

24 The Ex -A le- tation of Ale. 

And the good Old Clark, whofe fight waxeth dark, 

And ever he thinks tJie Print is too/mall: 

He will fee every Letter, and fay Service better, 

If he glaze but his eyes with a &c. 

The Cheeks and the Jawes, to commend it hath caufe, - 

For where they were late but even wan and pale : 

They will get them a colour, no Crimfon is filler, 

By the trite dy and tincture of a &c. 

Mark her enemies, though they think themfelves wife, 

How meager they look, with how low a wail: 

How their cheeks do fall, without fpirits at all, 

That alien their minds from a &c. 

And now that the grains do work in my brains, 

Me thinks I were able to give by retaile, 

Commodities flore, a dozen and more, 

That flow to mankind from a &c. 

The M USES wotild mufe, any fhould it mifoife ; 

For, it makes them tofing like a Nightingale, 

With a lofty trim note, having wafhed their throat, 

With the Caballine Spring of a Q"c. 

And the Mufician of any condition, 

It will make him reach to the top of his Scale : 

// will clear his pipes, and moiflen his lights, 

If lie drink alternatim a &c. 

The Poet divine, that cannot reach wine, 

Becaufe that his mony doth many times fail ; 


The Ex-Ale-tation of Ale. 25 

Will hit on the Vein, to make a goodflrein, 

If he be but infpired with a &c. 

For Ballads ELDERTON never had Peer, 

How went his wit in them, with how merry a gale : 

And with all the fails up, had he been at tlie cup, 

And wafhed his beard with a &c. 

A II Writers or Rimers, for fuch whofe mifhap, 

Is from Newgate up Houlbourn, to Tyburn to fail ; 

Shall have fuddain exprefjion of all tfieir confefjion, 

If the Mufe be but dewd with a &c. 

And the power ofitfhows, no whit leffe in Profe, 

It will file ones Phrafe, and fet forth his tale: 

Fill him but a Boul, it will make his tongue troul, 

For flowing fpeech flows from a &c. 

And Mailer Philofopher, if he drink his part, 

Will not trifle his time in the Hus/£ or the Shale ; 

But go to the Kern ell by the depth of his Art, 

To be found in the bottom of a &c. 

Give a Scholar 4/" OXFORD a pot of Sixteens, 

And put him to prove t/tat ait Ape hath a tail : 

And fixteen times better his Wit will befeen, 

If you fetch him from Botley, a &c. 

Thus it helps Speech and Wit; And it hurts not a whit, 

Btit rather doth further the Virtues morale: 

Then think it not much, if a little I touch 

The good moral parts of a &c. 


2.6 The Ex -Ale- tation of Ale. 

To the Church and Religion it is a good friend, 

Or elfe our Forefathers their wifdome didfaile, 

That at every mile, next to the Church fit 'le, 

Set a confecrate houfe to a &c. 

But now as they fay, Beer beares it away ; 

The more is the pity, if Right might prevaile: 

For with this fame Beer, came up Herefie here ; 

The old Catholique Drink is a &c. 

This Beer's but an upflart from Dutchland here come, 

Whofe Credit with us fometimes is butfmall: 

For in the Records of the Empire of Rome, 

The old Catholique Drink is a &c. 

O ! the ancient tales that my Grandam hath told, 

How merry we have been in Parlour and Hall ; 

How in Chriflmas time, we would dance, fing, and rime, 

As ifzue were mad with a &c. 

The Churches much owe, as we all do know ; 

For when they be drooping and ready to fall, 

By a Whitfon or Church- Ale, up again they fhall goe, 

And owe their repairing to a &c. 

Truth will do it right, it brings Truth to light, 

And many bad matters it helps to reveile ; 

For, they that will drinke, willfpeak what they think ; 

TOM tell-troath lies hid in a &c. 

It is J uftices friend, flie will it commend: 

For, all is hereferved by meafure and tale : 


The Ex-Ale-tation of Ale. 27 

Now true-tale and good meafure are Juftices treafure 

And much to the praife of a &c. 

And next I alledge, it is Fortitudes edge : 

For a very Cow-herd, thatjhrinks like a Snaile, 

Will /wear and will fwagger, and out goes his dagger, 

If he be but arm'd with a &c. 

Yea, ALE hath her Knights and Squires of degree, 

That never wore Corflet, nor yetfhirt of Mail, (wall, 

But have fought their fights all, 'twixt the pot and the 

When once they were dubb'd with a &c. 

And (fure) it will make a manfuddenly wife, 

Ere-while was fear ce able to tell a right tale: 

It will open his jaw, he will tell you the Law, 

As made a right-Bencher of a &c. 

Or he that will make a bargain to gaine, 

In buying or fetting his goods forth to fale 

Mufil not plod in the mire, but fit by the fire, 

Andfeal up his Match with a &c. 

But for Soberneffe needs mufl I confeffe, 

The matter goes liard : and few doe prevaile 

Not to goe too deep, but temper to keep, 

Such is the Attra6live of a &c. 

But here's an amends, which will make all friends, 

And ever doth tend to the befl avail; 

If you take it too deep, it will make you butfleep ; 

So comes no great harm of a &c. 


a8 The Ex-Ale-tation of Ale. 

If (reeling) they happen to fall to the ground, 

The fall is not great they may hold by the Raile: 

If into the water, they cannot be drown d, 

For that gift is given to a &c. 

If drinking about they chance to fall out, 

Feare not the Alarm, though flefh be but frail, 

It will prove butfome blows, or at mofl a bloudy nofe, 

And friends again freight with a &c. 

And Phyfick will favour ALE, as it is bound, 

And be again/1 Beer both tooth and nail: 

They fend up and down all over the Town, 

To get for their Patients a &c. 

Their Ale-berries, Cawdles, and Poffets each one, 

And Sillabubs made at the milking-pale, 

A Ithotcgh they be many, Beer comes not in any, 

But all are compos 'd with a &c. 

And in very deed, the Hop's but a weed, 

Brought ore againfl Law, and herefet tofale : 

Would the Law were renew 'd, and no more Beer brewd, 

But all good men partake them to a &c. 

The Law that will take it under her wing: 

For at every Law-day, or Moot of the hale, 

One isfworn to ferve our Soveraign the KING, 

In the ancient Office of a CONNER of ALE. 

There's never a Lord of Mannor or of Town, 

By Jlrand or by land, by hill or by dale, 



The Ex-Ale-tation of Ale. 29 

But thinks it a Franchife, and a Flowr of the CRO WN, 

To hold the Afiize of a &c. 

And though there ly writs, from the Courts Paramout, 

To flay the proceedings of the Cours Paravaile ; 

Law favours itfo, you may come, you may go, 

There lies no Prohibition to a &c. 

They talk much of State, both early and late, 

But if Gafcoign and Spain, their Wmejhould but fail, 

No remedy then, with us Englifhmen, 

But the State it muflfland by a &c. 

And they that Jit by it, are good men and quiet, 

No dangerous Plotters in the Common-weal 

<9/"Treafon and Murther: for, they never go further, 

Than to call for, and pay for a &c. 


That devifedfor his Nation [by the Welfhmens tale) 

Seventeen hundred years before CHRIST did fpring, 

The happy invention of a &c. 

But he was a Paynim, and ALE then was rife, 

Yet after CHRIST came and bid us all hail, 

Saint DA VI D tid never trink Peer in her life, 

But all Cwwrwwhibley a &c. 

The North they will pray fe it, and prayfeitwithpafjion, 

Where every River gives name to a Dale : 

There men are yet living, that are of th'old fafhion, 

No Ne6lar they know but a &c. 



30 The Ex-Ale-tation of Ale. 

The PICTS and the SCOTS, for ALE, were at lots, 

So high was thefkill, andfo kept under feal: 

The PICTS were undone, Jlain each mothers fon, 

For not teaching the SCOTS to make Hether Eale. 

But hither or thither, itjkils not much whether : 

For drink mujl be had, men live not by Keal, 

Nor by Havor-bannocks, nor by Havor-jannoc/£s, 

The thing that SCOTS live on is a &c. 

Now, if you will fay it, I will not denay it, 

That many a man it brings to his bale : 

Yet what fairer end, can one wifh to his friend, 

Than to die by the dart of a &c. 

Yet, let not the innocent beare any blame, 

It is their own doings to break ore the pale: 

And neither the Mault nor the good Wife in fault, 

If any be potted with a &c. 

They tell whom it kills, but fay not a word, 

How many a man liveth both found and hale, 

Though he drink no beer any day in the year e, 

By the Radicall humour of a &c. 

But, tofpeak of Killing, that am I not willing, 

For that, in a manner, were but to raile : 

But Beer hath his name, caufe it brings to the Buyer; 

Therefore well-fare fay I to a &c. 

Too many (I wis) with their deaths proved this ; 

And wherefore if ancient Records do not faile) 



The Ex-Ale-tation of Ale. 31 

He thatfirji brew'd the Hop, was rewarded with a rope, 
And found his Beer far more bitter then ALE. 
ALE ab alendo thou Liquor of LIFE ! 
That I had but a mouth as big as a Whale ! 
For mine is too little to touch the leajl tittle 
That belongs to the pray fe of a &c. 
Thus (I trow) fome Vertues / have marked you out, 
And never a Vice in all this long traile, 
But that after the Pot there commeth a Shot, 
And thats th'only blot of a &c. 
With that my friend f aid: That Blot will I bear, 
You have done very well, it is time to Jlrike fatle ; 
Wee' I have fix pots more, though I die on thefcore, 
To make all this good of a Pot of good ALE. 



1 65 1 . 

Epigrammes, written on 

purpofe to be read. 

[Hazlitt, No. 112.] 


Written on purpofe to be read : 


That they may be underftood by the 


Being Ninety in Number : 

Befides, two new made Satyres that attend them. 

By John Taylor, at the Signe of the Poets Head, in 

Phoenix Alley, neare the middle of Long Aker, 

or Covent Garden. 

L ONDON, Printed in the Yeare, i 6 5 1. 


To the good or bad Reader. 

REad well, and then thefe following lines are mine, 
But read them like a {Botcher) they are thine. 
Such vertuefromfome Readers doth proceed, 
They make the Verfe tlte better which they read: 
They know their Idioms, Accents, Emphafes, 
Commas, Stops, Colons, and Parenthejis, 
Full Points, and Periods, brief e Apoflraphes ; 
Good knowing Readers underfland all thefe : 
Butfuch as dares my Booke to take in hand, 
Who fear ce can read, or f pell, or underfland ; 
Yet (like Sir reverence Geefe) they will begagling, 
And teare my Lines to tatters with their hagling ; 
Such I requefl (if Batchelours they bee) 
To leave my Book, and learn their A, B, C : 
If married men they be, let them takepaine, 
To exercife their Horn-books once againe. 

A 2 2. Of 

2. Of friends. 
Hee's happy that hath friends at need (I wot) 
Hee's happier that hath friends, and needs them not. 

3. Unity, Enmity, Amity. 
Our Unity is turn'd to Enmity, 
And Enmity hath banifh'd Amity. 

4. Of Credit. 
Ralph deepe in Debt, curft Creditors and Credit, . 
And feemes to fhew fome reafons why he did it : 
'Twas Credit made his Creditors to truft him, 
Sans Credit, into jayle they had not thruft him. 

5. Honeft J one. 
J o N E is a perfect Mayd, who dares gainfay it, 
No Faults I in her Honefty can fee ; 
Her carriage dares bide touch and teft, but weigh it, 
No honefty amongft her Faults can bee. 

6. Teeth and Homes. 
Teeth breeding and Tooth-aking is moft painfull, 
But Wittalls breeding Horns, hath oft been gainfull. 

7. Of Seales and A rmes. 
Eagles and Lyons, Kings of Birds and Beafts, 
Adorne mens Seales and Armes with honour'd Crefts : 
But Beafts are Beafts, and faireft Fowles are Fowle, 
And many a Knaves Seale's better then his Soule. 

8. Thirjly 


8. Thrifty preaching. 
He that will preach for Wealth and Dignity 
Muft Simon Peters Doctrine quite refufe : 
Tis S I M o N M A G u s, his Hypocrifie 
Mounts fuch as cunningly their craft can ufe. 

9. Devout Margery. 
My fifter Margery is fins Correclrer, 
Of pureft fillers thread fhe'le fpin a Lecture : 
She'le ftand and preach as long as fhe can ftir, 
It is not ftanding long can trouble her. 

1 o. Things done by neither wife men orfooles. 
Wife men will not do as Great men have done, 
And Fooles cannot into fuch madneffe run : 
Thus Wit nor Folly, neither will or can 
Do mifchiefe like the foole-wife, rafh-proud man. 

1 1. Labour in vaine. 
A rayling Knave can libell and revile 
With tongue and pen, his worke about to bring ; 
But wifdome hath the power at him to fmile, 
Whilft Rafcalls gain the Gallows and a fixing. 

1 1. Hang pride. 
Why in gay Garments do fond fooles take pride ? 
Cloaths are fins pennance, made to hide our fhame ; 
Had man forborn to fin, no man had dy'd, 
And cloaths (like fig-leaves) cannot hide nor blame. 

A3 13. Another. 


13. Another. 
Something (T know not what) hath made me proud, 
I know 'tis neither Lands, or Coyne, nor cloathing ; 
Nor of fuch parts, wherewith my mindes endow'd, 
But I am proud, that I am proud of nothing. 

14. Another to the fame tune. 
According to the wearers worthyneffe 
I do efteeme, or not efteeme Apparell ; 
An outfide brave, an infide bafe may dreffe, 
For tryall fhews what Liquor's in the Barrell. 

1 5. J ujl payment. 
I rather would doe well, and not be prais'd, 
Then to doe ill, and have much commendation : 
For by the one to bliffe I may be rais'd, 
And by the other gain my condemnation. 

16. Content. 
If I have Health, I will no fickneffe feare, 
If I be Sick, of Health I'le not difpaire : 
Let God doe with me what he pleafeth here, 
If Fortune wrong me, Hope fhall me repaire. 

1 7. Sufficient knowledge. 
Hee's wife enough, that knows enough, but he 
That would know more then is enough's a foole : 
Our Parents knew, but knowing more would be, 
And knew too much out of the Serpents Schoole. 

18. Of 


1 8. Of Death. 
Our dayly minding Death doth fweeten it, 
It makes us dye no fooner, but more fit. 

1 9. Well and ill. 
To doe good without promife, is a grace, 
To promife, and not doe, is vile and bafe : 
Rich Knaves doe poore Fooles with vaine hopes oft fill 
With promifes of good, performing ill. 

20. Beware Hypocrijie. 
He that doth fay his Prayers, and goes to bed, 
Forgives his foes, forgets revenge and fpite, 
And ftraight wayes hammers mifchiefe in his head, 
The Divell is his bedfellow that night. 

2 1 . Of the fafhion. 
To be in fafhion, 'tis the only way 
To be quite out of fafhion, if you can 
To be fantaftick, fhapeleffe in aray, 
And all Religions is an Englifh man. 

22. Offpeech. 
To fpeake all that I know, would fhew fmall wit, 
To fpeake more then I know, were worfe then it. 

23. On long andfhort life. 
If life be long, 'tis troublefome and weary, 
Their Miferies are moft that longeft tarry : 
We make the bad world worfe, he travells beft 
That fooneft ends his journy, and at reft. 



24. Of trtte friend/hips ufe. 
"Tis happyneffe to have a Friend at need, 
But if my Folly flight that happyneffe : 
Like him that fpares to fpeake, may fpare to fpeed, 
So too much manners leaves us in diftreffe. 

25. Better loji then kept. 
Who e're he be, that feemes my friend to be, 
And headlong runs in every vicious courfe : 
His friendfhip fure will never better me, 
And Tie forfake him, left he make me worfe. 

26. Extreames. 
Woe is in want, and dangers in exceffe 
To live and give, I wifh no more or leffe : 
Content's enough, fome men are weake, fome ftronger, 
And more doe dye by furfeits then by hunger. 

27. A fig for Forfome. 
Fortune my foe doth frown on me, but why ? 
Becaufe I'le not adore her Diety : 
She fcornes me, and I fcorne to be her thrall, 
Much lower then I am, I cannot fall. 

28. Good gain d from bad. 
When as a bad man doth good Doctrine teach, 
His words, but not his workes to me doe preach : 
His fayings all are mine, his are his deeds, 
I have the Hearbs and Flowers, and he the Weeds. 

29. How 

29. jfiTow / would be ejieemed. 
I rather would be innocent and free, 
And (on fufpition) wrongfully corrected : 
Then to be guilty of great crimes, and be 
In high regard, refpefled, unfufpecled. 

30. Reverence to Saints. 
I reverence all Saints dead, and all that live, 
I honour much their bleffe"d memory ; 
But if Gods glory unto Saints I give, 
How can I hope God will me glorifie ? 

3 1 . Do thy worjt blind Fortune. 
If Fortune toffe me, yet I ftill have fcope 
To fear her fmiles, and when fhe frownes to hope. 

32. Want of knowledge. 
Had I e're thought that money would be fcant, 
I had kept fome againft thefe times of want : 
Or had I known what Ware would be fold dear, 
I would have been a Merchant but one year. 

33. Had 1 wijl. 
If thou wilt quiet be at Board and Bed, 
Beware of, had I wift, before thou Wed : 
Comfort comes flow, but cares increafe in heaps ; 
A wife man therefore looks before he leaps. 

34. Faft and loo/e. 
Faft bind, faft find : my Bible was well bound ; 
A Thiefe came faft, and loofe my Bible found : 



Was't bound and loofe at once ? how can that be ? 
'Twas loofe for him, although 'twas bound for me. 

35. A lye, and no lye. 
Tis not ftill out of fight and out of minde, 
For one may mind his meat that is ftark blind : 
But he that's blind, and hath no mind to eat, 
Then out of fight and mind, is that mans meat. 

36. True Love. 
He that can live by love, lives wondrous well ; 
True love beyond all treafure doth excell : 
Give me that Love to live well, and to truft 
In God and goodneffe, other love is luft. 

3 7. Treafure. 
Love is no lack : yet what I love I lack, 
A conftant friend, whofe friendfhip will not crack : 
Give me a friend that's true, and he fhall have 
My Love (Sans) Lack, till I am in my Grave. 

38. To be rul'd, or not rul'd. 
The Proverb faith : Be't better, or be't worfe, 
Be alwayes rul'd by him that beares the Purfe : 
But Judas bore the Purfe, and fuch as he, 
I hope fhall never beare rule over me. 

39. Wit bought too deare. 
They fay, Wit's never good till it be bought, 
And being bought too deare it proves ftark naught : 
Such wit had they whofe ill got pounds and pence 
Bought bloudy war, and hunted Peace from hence. 

40. All 

40. A 11 comes to one pajje. 
Dick, and Tom borrowed Gold, and like true debters, 
Non-payment fhakled them in iron fetters : 
Were the debt iron, fetters gold, what then ? 
Poor Dick and Tom were ne're the richer men. 

41. A hopefull Boy. 
The Boy fayd, Father, whither fo haftily ? 
Quoth he to th' Butchers, Jack, fome Biefe to buy : 
Father, he'le cheat you if you go alone ; 
Take the Dog with you, two heads better than one. 

42. A plain cafe. 
'Tis no diffembling, (as I underftand) 
T' hold fire in one, and water in tother hand : 
One hand the pipe holds, with fire fmoak, and fmother, 
When often good ftrong Water's in the other. 

43. All is true. 
Thou that with brags thy furious Fame fupporteft, 
Remember that the curft Cows horns are fhorteft : 
The bawling Cur will very feldome bite, 
And bragging Knaves can better eat than fight. 

44. Well grown is good. 
In twelve years, G R A C E a fine tall womans grown, 
Shot up in height, the like is feldome known : 
The times are bad, if GRACE prove good, then GRACE 
Is well grown ; but 111 weeds will grow apace. 

45 . 'Few 


45- Few faults. 
Moft men have many faults, but NED hath none, 
Amongft the many he hath fcarcely one : 
He's fo much faultleffe in meat, drink, and cloathing, 
And other fins, that he is good for nothing. 

46. A chac'd unchajie woman. 
Will prais'd his Wife, a vertuous Dame to be, 
And that few females were fo chafte as fhe : 
If thou hadft fworn it ( W I L L ) thou hadft not ly'd 
For fhe was chac'd by Whippers through Cheapfide. 

47. To be quiet or unquiet. 
To hear much, to fay little, and do leffe, 
Are great prefervatives of quietneffe : 
But to hear little, fay much, and do more, 
Such difpofitions fhall have trouble ftore. 

48. Avoyd Hypocrijie. 
Faults with Hypocrifie that cover'd are, 
Are worfe than crimes that be ftark naked bare : 
He may mend whofe bad deeds are ftill in fight, 
But there's no Devill to the Hypocrite. 

49. Freedome and Bondage. 
When one gives to me freely, I know well, 
That for his freeneffe, I my freedome fell : 
For unto him that gives I muft conclude, 
I am bound faft in Bonds of gratitude. 

50. Glorious 

50. Glorious Vanity. 
He that his Reputation feeks to raife, 
By prayfing of himfelfe, himfelfe difprayfeth : 
Though he for Arts and Arms do merit praife, 
His glory's vaine, whom felfe vain-glory raifeth. 

5 1 . Of jujl anger. 
I may be angry, and no mallice beare, 
I muft be angry with my fins I wot : 
It is a vertue few can purchafe here, 
At once to be both angry and fin not. 

52. WilfullWill. 
'Tis apt for men to fall in Errours vaine, 
From bad to worfe, from worfe to worft of ill : 
But he's a foolifh Reprobate in graine, 

That willing falls, and wilfully lies ftill. 

53. A brace of Beagles. 

A Sland'rer, and a Flatt'rer are Vile Beafts, 
One's devilifh wild, the other's damned tame ; 
Where ere they come they are accurfed Guefts, 
They murther foule and body, name and fame. 

54. A good Memento. 
No curfed Lucre in my minde fhall creep, 
Sins fad remembrance robs me of my fleep : 
One day of life doth fhoave another on, 
Untill one after one, my dayes are done. 




55- Mutability. 
In various times we dayly live and move, 
To day a mighty man on Cockhorfe mounted, 
To morrow Fortune gives him a remove, 
And as an abjeft. Knave he is accounted. 

56. Good Greatnejfe. 
Moft fweet, moft Worthy, Honourable, Great 
Is he that for his God and Countrey dyes : 
The world fhall with his praifes be repleat, 
And grace with glory him immortalize. 

57. Of Angels. 
Invifible two forts of Angels are, 
And thofe celeftiall and infernall be .* 
And Earthly Angels, like black Swans are rare, 
Meer ftrangers all, invifible to me. 

58. The Croffe brings glory. 
A Chriftians croffes glory doth begin, 
That glory doth not end his mifery : 
But yet that mifery fhall glory win, 
And Grace will crowne it with eternity. 

59. Words are winde. 
Words are but wind that do from men proceed, 
None but Camelions on bare Aire can feed : 
Great men large hopefull promifes may utter ; 
But words did never Fifh or Parfnips butter. 

60. Fears 



6o. Feares and jealoujies. 
The fting of confcience, Jealoufies and Feares, 
Makes mad men fall together by the eares : 
If thefe three were all banifh'd into Hell, 
(From whence they came,) all would be peace and well. 

61. B and C. 

How can the word call'd CHANGED, HANGEDB? 
With eafe, if you but take away the C. 

62. Adoration. 
All knees fhall bow at Jefus Name, but not 
To Jefus Image will I bow one jot. 

63. Honeft Beffe May. 
BESSE May may honeft be, who e're fayes nay, 
But May once paft, there are eleven months more : 
'Tis mighty odds, and I will never lay 
Eleven to one : BesseMay may be a Whore. 

64. Quick and free pajfage. 
Who fayes the Gofpel hath not paffage free ? 
He lies mod bafely, if he were my Brother : 
It paffeth fo quick, that it feems to flee 
Too fwiftly, in at one eare, out at t'other. 

65. Defperate Dick. 
D I c K is a defperate fellow, but at what ? 
He hath no mercy on his meat, or Wench : 
He drank a Dutch man drunk as any Ratt, 
He's ftouter at a Trencher, then a Trench. 

B 67. A 



67. A Jlovenly Schollar. 
In T R I S T R A M it is hard to be difcern'd, 
Whether he is moft floven, or moft learn'd : 
He weares his cloaths moft foule, rides without 
Yet learnedly fpeakes fentences in firrops. 

68. To afcornfull Reader. 
Grave IGNORAMUS, cries tufh, pifh, mew, 
And on my lines lookes dunficall a skew : 
And draws his mouth in fcorn fo near his eare, 
So much awry, he feems to whifper there. 

69. Manna and Mammon. 
Mammon, fcorrruply gaind) compare I may 
To Manna, gatherd on the Sabboth day : 
They are the Devils bleffings, but Gods curfe 
Unto the foule, the body and the purfe. 

70. Blind zeale. 
Zeale contrary to knowledge, is not right, 
Theres too much heat in't, and too little light : 
He that in perfect Zeale would be compleat, 
Let him have true light, he fhall want no heat. 

7 1 . On the late Kings poore fervants. 
We never did in armes the State offend, 
Yet want of means makes mifery our end : 
Had we the Fortune but to be believ'd. 
Our happynes would be, to be reliev'd. 

72. A 



72. A good faith. 
He that wants Faith, and apprehends the griefe 
Of what he wants, he hath a true beliefe : 
He that doth grieve, becaufe his griefe's too fmall, 
Hath a true griefe, but the beft Faith of all. 

73. Gluttony inward and outward. 
Mans Maw confumes (by Gluttony's command) 
Fifh, Fowle, Fruits, Beafts, from Sea, or Ayre, and Land ; 
And in his words his glut'nous mouth doth fin, 
More oft by giving out, then taking in. 

74. Sir reverence love. 
Tom fwore to K A t e , her fweet and comely making 
Had fill'd him full of rumbling belly aking : 
Sweet heart (quoth he) I fhall be grieved thus, 
Till I in thy fweet prefence do untrufs. 

75. Kates kind Anfwer. 
For thy fake T o M, my prayer, and plaint, and mone is, 
I love thee Dear, as V e N u s lov'd Adonis: 
And therefore let not thy affeftions wander, 
I'le love thee as the Goofe doth love the Gander. 

76. Brave refolution. 
W I L L is all heart, and like a Hart can run, 
He's wife in Battle, that can danger fhun : 
If ftrong hands cannot vi&ory attain, 
Yet light and nimble heeles may fafety gain. 

B 2 11- Legs 



77- Leggs worthy of love. 
A Cut-purfe cuts, and fwiftly ran away, 
But yet for all his nimble fingers cunning, 
Hands deferv"d hanging, legs without delay 
Sav'd all the body from it, by fwift running. 

78. Paine with pleafure. 
My Ladies fhooe did pinch her, and yet pleafe her, 
her painfull pride her pretty foot did grace : 
It did at once both anger and appeafe her, 
Whilft fmiles and frownes danc'd Anticks in her face. 

79. Friends are better then Lovers. 
Lovers and Friends are two things ; he that loves 
May waver, and not alwayes be a Friend ; 
But he that is a friend experience proves 
His Love and Friendfhip's conftant to the end. 

80. Of lying and giving. 
Why are not Maids afraid to Lye, declare, 
Moft men with lying buy and fell their Ware : 
But many Maids do neither fell or buy, 
They Give their Maidenheads, and then they Lye. 

81. Great Place, f mall Grace. 
When Great (not Goodmen) Offices poffeffe, ■ 
Who are Revengefull, Greedy, and oppreffe ; 
Difmiffe fuch Knaves, that fo their Place difgraces, 
And let good Places, ftill remaine the Places. 

82. A 



82. A great Witch. 
Pride is a Witch, few from her charme efcapes, 
She turns us dayly into fundry fhapes : 
She hath her Spirits, who do work like Thrafhers, 
Mercers, foft Silke-men, Taylors, Habberdafhers. 

83. Repajl, and Repofe. 
The Rich man hath Repaft, but fmall Repofe, 
The poor man hath repofe, with fmall Repaft : 
One alwayes ftrives to gaine, and fears to lofe. 
The other with content doth pleafe his taft. 

84. Sunday. 

The Lords Day is the Lanthorne and the Light 

Of th'other fix dayes, to direct us Right : 

Or like the Sun, amidft the Planets feven, 

To light us heer on Earth, and hence to Heaven. 

85. Sabaoih. 

The Jewes obferv'd the Sabaoth conftantly 
In memory of Reft, and their Creation : 
We fhould our Sundayes keep obediently, 
To minde us of Redemption and Salvation. 

86. A fweet Saint. 
PHILLIP doth think his Wife's a Saint, and fliee 
In pure pride thinks her felfe a Saint to bee : 
Shee'le fcold, be proud, and in a corner kifs, 
And this is P H I L L I P S Saint, the Devill fhe is. 

B 3 87. Want 



87- Want and abundance. 
A man may want Coyn, Cloaths, Drink, and Meat, 
He may want health, fight, hearing, hands, and toes, 
But cares, and griefes and forrows, may be great, 
The late Kings fervants have no want of thofe. 

88. A hard bufinejffe. 
Should Whores and Thieves be all hang'd, 'twere great pity, 
'Twould halfe unpeople Country, Towne, and City : 
But hang up Drunkards, Swearers, Whorers, then 
(And all the Knaves) what fhould we do for men ? 

89. TJioughts and words. 
My Thoughts are free, I wifh my tongue were fo, 
Then would I freely fpeake what I do think ; 
But yet my tongue, too boldly mail not go, 
It is more fafe at injuries to wink. 

90. Good mornings praclife. 
Firft worfhip God, he that forgets to pray, 
Bids not himfelfe good morrow, or good day : 
Let thy firft worke be, to confefle thy fins, 
And then thy dayly bufineffe well begins. 


Hypocrijie difcovered. 

A Holy crew of brethren conventickl'd 
With Scriptures ftrange Interpretations pickl'd ; 


And fanftified fifters, whofe nonfence 

Snoach'd through the Nofe, their Dodtrines quinteffence : 

They held unlawfull, and that no man may 

So much as dreffe his meat on th' Sabboth day : 

Another fayd (like a moft fubtle plodder) 

Folke mud not milke their Cowes, nor give Beaft fodder : 

The third replyd, it was a grievous crime 

To let their Jacks turn fpits in Sermon time : 

But if ought muft be done without delaying, 

It's to be done whilft Common Prayer's faying ; 

For when that's ended, ftraight the Pfalme begins, 

And they'l go finging to repent their fins : 

Then faid a fourth, it fils my heart with wo 

To fee a Preacher ride, Chrift bad them go 

And teach all Nations, verily to me 

This riding is no godly fight to fee : 

A fift man fayd (brethren) it is my lot 

(As you all know) to fell Ale by the pot : 

And (my belov'd) my Brewer brought me late 

Ale, a french crown the barrell above rate : 

But had not Orders from the State forbid it, 

To buy fuch drinke, fure I fhould ne're have did it : 

The Saturday at night they brought it in, 

The Sabboth day to worke it did begin : 

Surely 'twas moft prophane unhallowed drink 

Brewd with fome Jewes, or Turkifh Mault I thinke ; 

For I perfwaded it from worke to leave, 

And more and more it ftill did huffe and heave : 

I with much griefe unto the teaching went, 

Where Giles the Weaver gave me much content ; 

The next day I the Barrels head beat out, 

And let the Ale run all the houfe about ; 

B 4 As 


As good for nought but hogs to fwill and fwafh, 
And for the Swine 'twas comfortable wafh : 
Brother (fayd one) although too dear you payd, 
You did do well, becaufe you difobeyed ; 
And you did better (as all wife men thinkej 
When (zealouflyj you fpilt that wicked drinke. 
Another fayd, when I did fet mine eye on 
The Kings Armes in the Church, the Rampant Lyon ; 
His priap mov'd concupifcentiall motions, 
And did difturbe and hinder my devotions : 
But when my husband came to be Church-warden, 
He have fome form of Flowers from Field or Garden, 
Or fedge, or flags betwixt his legs were painted, 
That hid his whimwham which my minde had tainted. 

A Satyre againjl /wearing, equivocation, nientall re- 
fervation, and detejlable diffimulation. 

TO pretend, and the contrary to intend, 
With th' World began, and with the World fhall end : 
The Divell himfelfe (who firft made man a finnerj 
Of this diffembling Art, was the beginner. 
Since when, his Sons, and Schollars, Hypocrites, 
Accurfed Antichriftian Jefuites, 
Chrift kifling trayterous baft Ifcariothites, 
Soule foundred, foules confounding Hereticks, 
All cheverell confcienc'd cockbrain'd Schifmaticks. 
With many nicknam'd Romane Catholicks ; 
And every Herefie, and Schifme, or Seft, 
All diffring, and all boaft to be th' Eleft : 


Pretending all, true zeale to preach and pray, 

Intending all the clean contrary way. 

Amazed, and amated much I am 

To fee Great Brittain turn'd to Amfterdam ; 

Six years agone we had of Sex fourefcore, 

Which are encreaft now to one hundred more : 

A Book that's call'd the Gangrean, printed late, 

Their Authors and Opinions doth repeat : 

Ninefcore Religions that book fheweth cleer, 

Lord, what a Harveft hath the Devill made heer : 

Thofe all pretend Religion, but indeed 

Moft of them fcarcely know their Chriftian Creed. 

The Devill can turn himfelfe t' an Angell bright, 

Seem to pretend no wrong, yet do no right : 

He did pretend to make our Parents great, 

As is their Maker, but by that defeat 

He did intend, like to himfelfe to make 'em 

Fiends for fiends fellows) that God might forfake 'em. 

Cain did pretend with Aeell, like a friend 

And brother, when he murther did intend : 

When Absolon feem'd to pretend no ill 

To A M N o N , he intended him to kill ; 

He did pretend Religions good defire, 

When he his Fathers Throne intends t' afpire : 

ACHITOPHELL pretended Truth and Reafon, 

When he intended foolifhneffe and treafon : 

SAUL did pretend great love to D A V I D, but 

He did intend how he his throat might cut : 

J O A B pretended to be A B N E R S friend, 

When (with a flab) he brought him to his end : 

The wicked J ewes fwith noyfe) Hosanna cri'd 

To him, they few dayes after crucifi'd : 


2 3 


And Judas fayd, haile Mafter, when he meant 

Foule treafon, to betray the Innocent : 

Thus in all Ages, fince the Worlds Creation, 

Both Devils and men have us'd Equivocation : 

For as a cunning Fencer,, looking down, 

Aymes at the foot, but means to crack the crown 

So fquint eyd, true, falfe friendfhip, feems to fee, 

But ne're intends, what it pretends to bee : 

We're too much leavend, like the Pharifees, 

And to all goodneffe meere Antipodes : 

He's counted the beft man, that beft can prate, 

Though 's deeds and words be illegitimate. 

If our good words with good works could agree, 

The world no better people had then we : 

Yet too too many this bad time affords 

That cannot give to God or man good words ; 

Nor for themfelves, or of themfelves can they 

Speak one good word in any thing they fay. 

Their fpeech to God (or of God) is moft bafe, 

To curfe or fweare are th' only garbs of grace : 

Their prayers unto God are, God dam, forfake 'em, 

Renounce, confound, confume, the Devill take 'em ; 

Sink, rot their foules, for evermore renounce 'em, 

Confume them, or in hell to powder pounce 'em : 

Thefe, with fome prayers like thefe, they night and da 

With great devotion fervently do pray. 

To God they fpeak thus, but when they fpeak of him, 

'Tis either to blafpheam, deride, or fcoffe him ; 

With curfed tongues, and teeth, to rend and teare 

His dreadfull name, when they forfweare and fweare. 

Too oft thefe wretched Imps thefe oaths afford, 

By God, Chrift Jefus, by the living Lord, 



By God Almighty, by th' eternall'God, 

Thus under foot his glorious name is trod 

By godleffe Villains, who will brag and boaft 

That He's the braveft man that fweareth moft. 

God is no God to them, they do reject him, 

Like skild Anatomifts they will diffect him ; 

They rip him up with Oaths from foot to head, 

His wounds, blood, heart, nailes, body, foule, and bread, 

His bleffed and foule-faving life, his death, 

Thefe curfed oaths are belch'd with th' odious breath 

Of Hels dear hel-hounds, who to praflife thefe, 

They lie and ftudy on their beds of eafe. 

To flourifh their difcourfe, their brains are framing 

New coyned oaths, to grace pots, pipes, and gaming. 

Sure thefe good fellows have fome friends in hell, 

And with them they defire to be and dwell ; 

Or efe they have a great defire to fee 

Hels Kingdome, and what things the Devils bee. 

And as men that would travell, would attaine 

Some knowledge in the tongues of France, or Spaine, 

Th' Italian, or the High, Low, fpacious Dutch, 

The Ruffe, Shavonian, Latine, Greeke, or fuch 

As is the language where they mean to go, 

Each Traveller thefe tongues would gladly know, 

That when they came to any forraine Land, 

They might the peoples fpeeches underftand : 

So fwearers will to hell a voyage make, 

And therefore they moft ftudious pains do take 

To learn hels language, to blafpheam and fweare, 

That all their friends may underftand them there : 

Thefe men in their mad furies do fuppofe 

That Hel's a Kingdome where all pleafure grows ; 


2 5 


And that Elyzium is a pleafant place, 

Where foules immortall dance the wild-goofe chafe : 

Their ftupid brains the Devill hath fo poffefty 

That Hel's a place of wealth, joy, peace, and reft ; 

That Heaven's a fiction, and no place of pleafure, 

That to be damn'd is everlafting treafure : 

This is the caufe they fcorne to aske falvation, 

And pray God dam 'em, and beg for damnation. 

'Tis wonder to fee mad men beat their brains 

To gain perdition, and eternall pains : 

Of God they (like the foole) do think there's none, 

Or that he is a weake and fimple one ; 

One that regards not what men do below, 

Or fees not, knows not, how the world doth go ; 

This is the fwearers faith, his mirth, his game, 

Elfe he durft ne're blafpeam th' Almighties name. 

Pluto's an affe, and Belzebub's a foole, 

And Lucifer himfelfe may go to fchoole ; 

For all the Conclave of the Devils in Hell 

Cannot a curfed fwearer parallell : 

Sometimes of Chriftianity they'l prate, 

Yet live a life, abhord and reprobate. 

'Tis fayd, that charity at home begins, 

And that love hids a multitude of fins ; 

Subjection to high Powers we are enjoynd, 

Obedience unto all of every kind, 

Of thefe rare vertues, fwearers have no fhare, 

To no body they charitable are ; 

I truely think he loves himfelfe not well, 

That prayes God dam him, and doth wifh for Hell : 

Want of felfe love and charity do prove 

He beares to no man charity or love. 



If to himfelfe his love no better be, 
His charity and love is not for me : 
Can they do fervice to an earthly King, 
That oaths and curfes againft God dare fling ? 
No, thofe as dare the heavenly power blafpheam 
Are no good fervants for power leffe fupream : 
The wrath of God is hot, his anger burns, 
And for vain fwearing, the whole Land now mourns ; 
This Nation, and the people at divifion, 
No peace but by the fanguine fwords decifion. 
The Land's o'refpread with leprofie of fwearing, 
And Gods great patience weary of forbearing ; 
For which his plagues of flaughtering fword we find, 
And 'tis much fear'd famine's not far behind : 
Yet fwearers to be Chriftians do pretend, 
Though (worfe then Atheifts) they their lives do fpend ; 
That Pagans, Heathens, Infidels, Jewes, Turkes, 
Sweare leffe, and ufe better words and workes. 
Time was, that Juftice did the fword unfheath, 
That the blafpheamer ftrait was fton'd to death ; 
And in this wicked wretched Generation, 
Swearing is counted manly reputation, 
Or recreation, or the Gentile grace 
Of fpeeches fine Embrodery, like gold lace 
Upon a faddle, which a fow muft weare, 
So it becomes a Gentleman to fweare : 
The Devill is bad, but fure the fwearer's worfe, 
For I ne're heard the Devill did fweare or curfe. 
What execrable creatures are they then, 
But Hell-hounds, and the Devils Journy-men ? 
Himfelfe doth fcorn to do a worke fo bafe, 
His bafeft Rafcals do fupply that place : 



How can thefe men plead Chriftianity, 

When as they want common humanity ? 

Mad fooles, who every day do beg and crave 

Damnation, which they would be loth to have. 

The facred Text, the Pulpit, and the Preffe 

Have preft thefe faults hard to mens confciences ; 

Yet all that ever hath been fpoke or pend, 

Hath made the fwearer not a whit amend : 

Thefe bitter lines of mine, may worke perhaps 

To Muzzle or bung up fome fwearers chaps : 

God and good men I'm fure are on my fide, 

And I (in all that's written) have not lyde : 

Some do pretend a peace, and much do prattle, 

Yet do intend to bloodfhed, and to battle : 

But let them never claime a Chriftian name, 

Whofe trade and pleafure is in blood and flame 

Of their dear Country, and rip, rend, and tear 

Their mothers womb, which did fuch baftards bear. 

Thefe fons of Hittites, and of Amorites, 

God do to them, as to the Midianites. pfai. 8 3. 

Make them as J A B I N, and as SlSERA dy'd 

At E N D o R S field, where KlSHONS Brook doth flyd. 

As they became as dung, fo let them bee 

That to a lawfull peace will not agree. 

The Peace of God, grant us, thou God of Peace, 

Let us ceafe fin, thou wilt our forrows ceafe ; 

Let's frame our lives according to thy word, 

And let no fword be drawn, but Juftice fword : 

To which end, thou good God of confolation, 

Send bleffed Peace to this ami&ed Nation. 



The certain Travailes of an 

uncertain Journey. 

[Hazlitt, No. 121. J 



of an uncertain 


Begun on Tuefday the 9. of Auguft, 

and ended on Saturday the 3. 

of September following, 


Wherein the Readers may take notice, that the 
Authors purpofe was to Travell, and Write 
this following Relation, for no other intent or 
purpofe, but to pleafure himfelf, and to pleafe, 
his Friends in the firft place. 

By JOHN TA YLOR, at the Signe of the 
Poets Head, in Phceniz Alley, near the Globe 
Tavern, in the middle of Long- Acre, nigh 
the Covent-Garden. 

Thofe twelve following lines I gave to divers 
Gentlemen and Friends, before I went, and 
as they have kindly fubfcribed to my Bill, I 
do humbly expect their courteous acceptation 
of this Booke. 


A merry Bill of an uncertaine Journey, to bee 

performed by John Taylor, by Land, with 

his Aqua Mufa. 

TO all my Friends, and courteous Gentlemen, 
Know, that my]ourney is, I know not when: 
Unto the parts 1 goe, I know not where, 
Or of my entertainement far or neare ; 
Thus neither knowing when, or where, or whether, 
Begun, or done, or both ends brought together, 
When I this unknowne Walke have put in print, 
Each man to s pocket, put your fingers int, 
And for my Booke then give me what you lift, 
To which end, to this Bill, take pen in fifl, 
And write your names and habitations down, 
Tlefindeyou when againe I come to Towne. 




The certainty of the uncertaine Travels of John 
Taylor, performed in this yeere 1653. 

TIs laudable to read well pen'd Relations 
Of foreign Countries, & their fituations, 
That by the judgement of the eie & brain 
Some knowledge to difcourfe we may attain. 
For Hiftories, and learn'd Cofmographers, 
And diligent acute Geographers ; 
One hath furvay'd celeftiall lofty fphears, 
How all the Planets run in their carriers : 
The ftars, the fignes, and every influence 
In every Heavenly Orbs circumference, 
And were it not for high Aftronomy 
(Whofe lofty painfull fteps have fcal'd the fky) 
For times and feafons we might grope and feek, 
Not knowing yeers, or quarters, month, or week, 
Or houres, or minutes, nor the Sabbath day, 
Nor when to eat, or fleep or debts to pay. 
Millions of people would this knowledge lack 
Except directed from the Almanack : 
Thus Art, (with pains and travell of the mind) 
Taught mean capacities, thefe things to find. 

A 4 He 

He travels far that goes beyond the Moone, 
Or thinks this (kill may be attayned foone. 
Their overweening thoughts flie high and quick 
But fuch mad fooles are only lunatick. 
Geographers have travel'd land and feas 
Each coaft, and oppofite Antipodes ; 
And the defcription of all lands and parts 
Defcribed are, in feverall Maps and Charts. 
The Sun & Moon have feldom fhewd their faces 
On any Empire, Kingdom, place, or places, 
Which Travellers have not viewd and furvayd. 
And by rare Geographique Art difplayd, 
By either fea or land, by night or day, 
Geography hath chalk'd us out the way : 
That with Maps, Compas, & indifferent weather 
True men or Thieves may travell any whither. 
And thus throgh thick & thin, ways hard or foft, 
Thoufand and thoufand miles I travel'd oft. 
Some men do travell in their contemplations, 
In reading Hiftories and ftrange Relations : 
Some few do travell in the wayes Divine, 
Some wander wildly with the Mufes nine ; 
For every man would be a Poet gladly, 
Although he write and Rime but badly madly. 
Sometimes the wits and tongues do, moft unfit, 
Travell, when tongues do run before the wit. 
But if they both keep company together, 
Delight and profit is in both, or eyther. 



Difcretion gravely goes a gentle pace, 
When fpeech, & gallop, runs a needles race : 
Mans earthly portion's travell, paine, and care, 
(Of which I make a fhift to get my fhare.) 
Some do difdain, and hold it in high fcorn 
To know thatcht cottages where they were born 
Some croffe the fea to fee ftrange lands unknown 
And heer, like ftrangers, do not know their own. 
Their own, 'tis fit work for a golden pen 
To write the names down of fuch knowing men : 
Should ech on know & have his own, 'twere rare 
Right owners wold be rich, & knaves ftark bare. 
Hee's counted wife, with the Italians, 
That knows his own wife from another mans. 
But hee's more wife that knows himfelfe to be 
Fraile, mortall, and a Map of Mifery. 
But wifeft he, that patient takes his lot, 
And ufe the world as if he us'd it not. (thing, 
Some feem to know molt, yet know almoft no- 
For man, in knowledge, is a very flow thing. 
Nofce teipfum, Know thy felfe, and then 
Each one will know himfelfe the worft of men. 
Many of forreign travels boaft and vant, 
When they, of England, are moft ignorant. 
But yeerly I furvey my Country Native, 
And, 'mongft 6. cafes, live upon the Dative, 
I travell hard, and for my lifes fupply, 
I every yeere receive a Subfidie, 



(Or elfe to come more neer unto the fence) 
Tis fit to call it a Benevolence. 
Thus (travelling) a toyling trade I drive, 
By reafon of mine age, neer feventy five : 
It is my earthly portion and my lot, 
(The Proverb fays, Need makes the old wife trot) 
Seven times at fea I ferv'd Elizabeth, 
And 2. Kings forty five yeers, untill death 
Of both my Royall Mafters quite bereft me, 
That nothing now but age and want is left me. 
This makes me travell, and my friends to trie, 
Elfe I might (like my fellowes) fterve and die. 
Had the laft State, had confciences fo tender 
To think on Oxford hedge, with that furrender, 
Had they kept Articles and Covenants, 
In fome fort, then they had releev'd our wants, 
But they were in the land of Promife borne, 
Perform'd, and paid us nothing, but their fcorn. 
Camelion like we had Ayre, Words, and Wind, 
With thefe three empty difhes oft we din'd. 
And with light Suppers, and fuch breaking Faft, 
With meagre Famine, many breath'd their laft. 
we nere bare arms, but houfhold fervants menial 
We waited, if 'twere fin, it was but veniall. 
Thefe thirteen yeers no wages I could get, 
Which makes me thus to try my friends & wit. 
Unto the Kings Revenews great Committee 
We oft Petitiond, and implor'd their pitty ; 



And firft and laft, we gave Petitions plenty, 
I'm fure, in number, neer two hundred twenty. 
Two thoufand Books & Bils then printed were, 
Wherein our woes and wants wee did declare : 
Lord Fairfax was himfilfe Lord Generall then, 
He pitied us (poor miferable men ;) 
And he in perfon, more then one time went 
And told our griefes unto the Parliament. 
Befides, for us, to them he Letters wrot, 
For all which, only, promifes we got. 
I will not curfe thofe men, but this I fay, 
If need and want afHicSt them, I doe pray 
They may be comforted, and fed, and clad 
With promifes, as we from them have had. 

TH'yeer fixteen hundred fifty, with 3. added, 
Old Tib my Mare, and I, a journy gadded : 
I London left, the 9. day I remember 
Of Auguft, neer 3. weeks before September. 
In 4. houres riding Poll I got to Croydon, 
And fo hath many a man, and many a boy done. 
There was the George a horfeback day & night, 
And there I, from my mares back did alight. 
At Water there wine was, but that's a Riddle, 
At Croydon, you may know both ends & middle. 
To Micham, from my way full 3. miles wide, 
A Gentleman, I thank him, was my guide. 



Holland my fheets, and Holland was mine Hoft, 
My entertainment good for little coft. 
Auguft the tenth, my Bonny Beaft and I, 
From Surrey traveld to South Saxony, 
Now called Suffex, where at Bellinjhurft 
Six dayes I felt no hunger, cold, or thirft. 
There at a fign, and no fign but a Frame, 
Twas the Kings arms, but fhatering fhot & flame 
Did beat them down, as ufeles, of fmall ftead, 
For armes are of no ufe without a Head. 
Mine Hoft was mighty good, and great withall, 
And, amongft Hofts, may be a Generall. 
Hee's friendly, curteous, although big and burly, 
A right good fellow, no way proud or furly. 
Six nights at Bellinjhurjl I freely ftayd, 
And all the charge of mare and man was payd 
By a gentleman, to name whom He refrain, 
Whofe love, my thankfull mind fhall ftil retain. 
Thus in one week I rode Poft 30. mile, 
And neither man or mare tyr'd all that while. 
A Reverend Preacher preach'd on Sunday twice 
Directing fouls to th' Heavenly Paradice ; 
And if we could but do as he did fay, 
His Doctrine told us all the ready way. 
Thus Billingjhurji thy bounty I extoll, 
Thou feaftedft me in body and in foule. 
There was rare Mufick, fweet and gentile Ayres 
For undeferved favours / am theirs. 


My love to Mr. Fiji, and to mine Hoft, 
But love and thanks T. H. deferveth moft. 
From Billinjhurji, Auguft the fixteenth day, 
I took my leave, before I took my way. 
The way indifferent good, the welk in fmiles, 
I rode to Petworth, 7. good Suffex miles. 
To fet forth Petworth, its worth more worth is, 
Then I am worth, or worthy ; but know this, 
Northumberland the Noble, there doth dwell, 
Whofe good houfekeeping, few Lords parallell. 
There Honourable bounty is expreft, 
While daily charity to th'poor diftreft. 
I fpeak not this for any thing I got 
Of that great Lord, I felt or faw him not : 
For had I feen him, my beliefe is fuch, 
I mould have felt and found his bounties tutch : 
But I, for my part, never was fo rude 
To flatter, fawn, or bafely to intrude, 
Yet I declare him liberall, Honourable, 
And there I din'd well, at his Stewards Table. 
Thanks Mr. Williams there, the Cook exact 
By his good friendfhip there, I nothing lackd. 
Thanks to my Hofteffe kind, good Mrs. Martin r 
Who welcom'd me with good whit wine a quart 
And laft of all, but not of all the leaft, (in. 

* I was kind Mr. Barnards coftly Gueft : 
To me he fhew'd his bounty from the Mint, 
For which I give him heer my thanks in Print. 


He payd the chinque, and freely gave me drink, 
And I returne my gratitude with Inke. 
Auguft the 1 8. twelve long miles to Stenning 
I rode, and nothing faw there worth the kenning, 
But that mine Hoft there was a joviall Wight, 
My Hoftefs fat and fair ; a goodly fight : 
The figne the Chequer, eighteen pence to pay ; 
My Mare eat mortal meat, good Oats and Hay. 
Twelve miles from Stenning I jogd on to Lewes, 
And there I found no Beggars, Scolds, or Shrews; 
Lewes hath no Bayliff, Mayor, or Magiftrate, 
For every one there lives in quiet ftate : 
They quarrell not for wagging of a ftraw, 
For each man is unto himfelfe a Law ; 
They need no bridle (like the Horfe or Mule) 
Where every one himfelfe can wifely rule. 
At the terreftriall Star (a gliftring Signe) 
I lodg'd, and found good Diet and good Wine ; 
Mine Hoft and Hoftefs courteous, free, and kind, 
And there I fip'd and fup'd, but feldom din'd : 
Lewes is an ancient Town, as may be feen 
In Cambden, page three hundred and thirteen ; 
Twelve men they chufe, the moft fubftantialleft, 
Moft rich and wife, to govern all the reft ; 
And out of that difcreet and honeft dozen, 
Two (as it were) high Conftables are chofen : 
Thefe have no pow'r themfelvs to hang or draw, 
Or on offendors to inflict the Law ; 



But to a juftice of the Peace, or Coram 
They bring the parties, & their caufe before am. 
From Friday unto Friday I did ftay, 
But in the mean time I did take my way 
Five miles to Torring where my old friend there, 
The Parfon welcom'd me with Country cheer ; 
His name is John, or honeft Mafter Rice, 
Six meals he meated me, and lodgd me thrice. 
He Preachd on Sunday, Augic/ls twenty one, 
Two Sermons, tending to falvation : 
His Doctrine's good, & he himfelfe doth frame 
To live in converfation like the fame. 
I thank him, and his Wife and Family, 
For making of fo much (too much) of me : 
Thus when he could no longer me retaine, 
With love and thanks, I rode to Lewes againe. 
This Town contains fix Churches, and at leaft 
It is a mile in length from Weft to Eaft : 
A ftrong and fpacious Caftle there hath been, 
As by its moldred ruines may be feene. 
Thence 1 2. miles I was on my female beaft born, 
T'an unknown feaft born, at a Towne cal'd Eaft 
I at an Inne alighted, and found there {Bourne ; 
Unlook'd for welcome, and good Suffex cheer : 
Sir Thomas Dike, Sir Thomas Parker, Knights, 
With kinde Efquires, whofe names & Epithites 
I mention not, becaufe I know them not ; 
But to them all my thanks is unforgot, 



[i 6] 

For undeferv'd, unlook'd for, and unthought, 
From the my purfe & perfon both were fraught ; 
This was on Augujls twenty fixt, a Friday, 
Near Dog dayes end, a very fair and drie day. 
The next day, and the next I felt the bounty 
Of the high Sheriff of Sujfex famous County ; 
He entertain'd me Saturday and Sunday, 
And would have kept me 20 dayes paft Monday. 
There was a high and mighty drink call'd Rug. 
Sure fince the Reigne of great King Gorbodug, 
Was never fuch a rare infus'd confeclion, 
Injeftion, operation, and ejection, 
Are Hogen Mogen Rugs, great influences 
To provoke fleep, and ftupifie the fences. 
No cold can ever pierce his flefh or fkin 
Of him who is well lin'd with Rug within : 
Rug is a Lord beyond the Rules of Law ; 
It conquers hunger in the greedy maw : 
And (in a word) of all the drinks potable, 
Rug is moft puifant, potent, notable. 
Rug was the Capitall Commander there, 
And his Lievtenant Generall was ftrong Beere. 
Wine plenteous both in Bottles and in flaggons, 
whofe ftregth would quel S. George & 20 draggos 
But Afsbuerus Laws were there inrol'd, 
No man was forc'd to drink more then he would. 
There was good Will, good Wills fon, &good Willia 
As free as was the Emp'rour Maximilian : 




Beafts, fowls and fifh, from earth, & fea & ayre, 
Unto the Table, well Cook'd did repair, 
There were rare Birds I never faw before 
The like of them, I think to fee no more. (row, 
Th'are called Wlieat ears, lefs then Lark or Spar- 
Wel roafted, in the mouth they taft like marow. 
When once tis in the teeth it is involv'd, 
Bones, flefh, and all, is lufhioufly diffolv'd, 
The name of Wheat ears, on them is ycleap'd, 
Becaufe they come when wheat is yeerly reap'd. 
Six weeks, or therabouts, they are catch'd there, 
And are welnigh 1 1. months, God knows where. 
My humble gratitude is heer expreft 
To Mr. Sheriffe, and his beloved beft ; 
His kindnes joind with hers, and hers with his, 
Doth merit my unfaigned thankfulnes. 
Unto my Cozen Thomas Taylor there 
My love remembred, and for my Samph'iere 
He promis'd me, I thank't him thrice before, 
And when I have it, I will thank him more. 
Twelve miles on Augufts 9. and 20. day, 
From Bourne to Battell, 4. miles on my way 
At Pemfey doth a ruin'd Caftle ftand, 
And there the Norman Conqueror did land. 
Since his invading power arrived there, 
'Tis now 500, 60, and 6. yeere. (ftrook 

Eight miles from thence, the Battel fierce was 
Where bloud of 70000, like a Brook, 

B Or 


[i 8] 

Or rather I may fay like Sanguin Rivers 
Which down hills, it impetuoufly delivers 
Into the Vales : and where that bloud was fpilt 
The Conqueror caus'd an Abbey to be built 
Of ftately ftruclure, and what it hath been, 
By great extended ruines may be feen. 
When Norman forces England overcame, 
From bloudy Battell, Battell had its name. 
This Abbey now is kept, by right and due, 
By the Honourable Vifcount Montague. 
That Lord repair'd fome part magnificent, 
And ther's good houfe kept, when hees refident. 
That noble Lord is, in account moft famous, 
Though many miferable Lords doe fhame us. 
At th'Empereall creft, or Eagle fpred, 
My felfe and mare, were ftabled, lodg'd and fed. 
About the reckoning I did not contend, 
My friend T. H. paid all, and ther's an end. 
Auguft the thirtith, I rode on to Ha/lings, 
Wher was relief for men of feverall taftings, 
Or fundry pallats, put them altogether, 
Or relifht appetites, take all or neither. 
At Ha/lings I ftaid not, but haftily 
I ambled 6. miles unto Winchelfey : 
Which hath been counted in the dayes of yore, 
(Untill the feas contended with the fhore) 
A famous fea Town, rich in merchandife, 
But buried in the Ocean now it lies. 



A Caftle ftands i'th fands, enduring flawes, 
Gufts, tempefts, ftorms, & times devouring jaws : 
In twice twelve hours, 'tis twice embraced round 
In th'arms oi Neptune % feeming to be drownd : 
And when the flouds are eb'd into the main, 
Three miles in fands 'tis compaft round again. 
In Winchelfey that now is I could ken 
Nothing worth obfervation of my pen. 
Two miles from thence, upon a hill, ftands Rye, 
And there I, at the Star, did lodge and lie : 
More ods there is 'twixt finging fongs and crying 
Then was betwixt my lodging, and my lying. 
I lodg'd by night, and I did lie by day, 
And as upon a bed I mufing lay, 
The chamber hang'd with painted cloth, I found 
My felfe with fentences beleaguerd round. 
There was Philofophy and Hiftory, 
Poetry vEnigmatick myftery. 
I know not what the Town in wealth may be, 
But fure, I on that chambers walls did fee 
More wit then al the town had, and more worth 
Then my unlearned Mufe can well fet forth. 
I will not hold my Reader in dilemma, 
Thus truly, lying, I tranfcribed them a. 

B 2 No 



NO flower fo frefh, but frofl may it deface, 
None Jits fo fafl, but hee may lofe his 
place : 
Tis Concord keeps a Realme in Stable flay, 
But Difcord brings all Kingdomes to decay. 
No Subject ought (for any kinde of Caufe) 
Refefl his Prince, but yeeld him to the Lawes. 
Sure God is jufl, whofe flroake, delayed long, 
Doth light at lafl, with paine more fharp, and 

Time never was, nor nere I thinkefhall be, 
ThatTruth (unfhent) might fpeake, in all things 



This is the Sum, the Marrow and the Pith 
My lying Chamber was Adorned with : 
And 'tis fuppofed, thofe lines written there 
Have in that Roome bin, more then 40. yeare. 
Now, Reader take this notice more of Rye, 
Tis worth Remembring, and I'le tell you why : 
If to unloade your Bellies, Nature drive ye, 
In all the Towne you'le fcarcely finde a Privie. 
For as our Sectaries in Tubbs preach heere, 
They make (Sir Reverence) Reverend Iakefes 
Of Pulpets of Prophanity, and thefe (there, 
When they are full, are empti'd in the Seas. 
My fare was good at Rye, my Reck'ning fmall, 
I thanke my noble friend, that payd for all, 
Neere unto Rye, 2 dirty Ferryes bee 
So Muddy, that they mir'de my Mare and mee : 
I paft them, And on vltima Augujli, 
Well meated, Mounted, man and beaft both lufty ; 
I crofs'd ore Gulford ferry, and I went 
From Rye in Suffex unto Hide in Kent ; 
Septembers firft day, Sol, with golden eye 
Gilt Neptune with celeftiall Alchymie : 
With fovereign fplendor, kiffing medows green, 
And mantled hills tops were corufcant feen. 
When Phoebus mounted was in glorious pride, 
I mounted too and rode a way from Hide. 
Still as I paft through fea Towns firft and laft, 
I did enquire how bufineffes had paft. 

B 3 The 



The people faid that Guns did bounce & thump, 
Betwixt our Englijh fhips and Dutch Van Trump. 
At Rumney, and at Hide, they were in fight, 
Folks heard the drums to beat, and faw the fight. 
Thus, little was the newes from fea or fhore, 
Our weekly News books will tel 3. times more. 
From Hide to Dover, and to Canterbury 
Full 25. miles, dirty, wet and weary 
I took my lodging up, and down I lay 
Till Friday came, Septembers fecond day. 
Then with the Lamb I arofe, and with the Lark 
I got to Grave/end when 'twas almoft dark ; 
But I miftake, from fieep I rowz'd my head, (bed. 
And rofe with th'Lark, but went with Lamb to 
On th'way I was not vext with Gates or Stiles, 
But three and thirty dirty Kentifh miles, 
With wafhing dafhing ways, & rain wel fous'd, 
It made my Mare and I glad to be hous'd : 
The figne was Weljh his pie-bald englifh Bull; 
I there was welcome empty, welcome full : 
But at the high and mighty Grave/end Whale, 
I found moft potent admirable Ale, 
'Tis fecond to no drink, but Eaft-Bourne Rug, 
Put it in Pot or Flaggon, Can or Jug ; 
You'le finde it is the grand Ale, and you'l grant 
That 'tis Ale Parramount, Predominant : 
'Twas given me by a Friend ; but let him end 
With hanging, that loves Ale more then his fried. 


From Grave/end (Satudray Septembers third) 
I rode without fpurs, as I had been fpurr'd : 
I came to London when the QXock ftruc/£ one ; 
And fo my Journey and my Boo/£e is 


Among ft the Mufes where the number Nine is, 
The learned Poets end their Works with Finis 
But when unlearned I have Volumes pen'd, 
Finis is Latine, Engli/Ji Done's an End. 

B 4 A 



Of fome parts of SUSSEX and KENT that I 

Travelled, which I have borrowed out 

of Mr. SPEED. 


HE North part of this Shire confronts 
' upon Surrey, and Kent: the Wefl but- 
i teth upon Hampfhire ; and all the refl 
'of the County lieth Jlretched along the 
* Britifh fea. The City of ' mofi account 
within this County is Chichefler, a 
beautifull, and large Towne; yet for thejlatelineffe of 
buildings Lewes dothfeeme to contend with it, where 
William de Warron built aflrong Caflle, whereun- 
to the Barons, in time ofthofe civill broiles reforted in 
warlike manner, and fought a great Bat tell againfl 
their Soveraigne and his Sonne, wherein the King, 



H enry the third, had his horfejlaine under him ; Rich- 
ard King of the Romans the Kings Brother was fur- 
prized and taken in a Wind-mill; and Prince Edward 
(who was after that King Edward thefirfl, or Long- 
fhankes) delivered unto them upon unequall termes of 

Places of another note are thefe. Shore whence 
KingHarold going upon the Sea for hispleafure in a 
fmall boate was driven upon tlie Coafl of Normandy, 
where, by Duke William he was furprized, and re- 
tained, untill he f wore to make him King after Ed- 
ward the Confeffor his death. Weft- Wittering where 
Ella the Saxon Landed when he came to conquer thofe 
partes, and gave the name to the Shoare from Cimen 
his Sonne. Finally Gromebridge where Charles 
Duke of Orleance father to Lewis the twelfth King 
of Fraunce, was long detained, being taken Prifoiier 
at Agincourt. Yet I fiave beene in the Cafile of Star- 
borough where L was fhewed the faid Dukes Chamber, 
in Kent or the edge of Surrey. 





His is thefirjl Province that appeareth 
in the South of this Kingdome, and 
is bounded upon the North with the 
famous River Thamifis : on the 
Ea/l with the German fea, and 
Ocean ; on thefouth with Suffex and 
the uarrowefeas; and upon the Weft with Suffex and 

The cheife/l City within this County is Canterbury 
which became famous, both for the converfion of the 
Saxons by St. Auguftine ; whereof eight of their Kings 
were there inter 'd; as alfo was Thomas Becket 
Arch-Bifhop 0/ Canterbury. 

The invincible Caftle of Dover is a place ofthegrea- 
teflfirength not onely of this County, but of the whole 
Kingdome, being the Key of the Realme; and as Iohn 
Roffe, and Lidgate affirme, was built by Julius 
Cefar. The chief efi and onely thing of admiration in 
thisffiire is a hole at Mottingame eight yards about, 
and a line of fiftiefadomes plummed into it, dothfinde 




no bottome, wherefuddenly the ground funke, and three 
greate Elmes therein growing, were /wallowed up into 
the earth. Thisjhire claimeth the preeminence ofChrif- 
tianity before all places of England : for Lucius the 
firfl Chriftian Britifh King in this Hand, built a 
Church within the Cafile of Dover. 

There is no other memory or token of the great Bat- 
tell, which was fought at Ailesford, betweene Hengift 
the ambitious Saxon, and Vortimer the valiant Bri- 
taine, wherein Horfa, and Catigern, brethren to both 
Generalls were flaine, then a monument of Catigern, 
ner of the Stonehenge on Salsbury Plaine, and is vul- 
garly called Cifcoatehoufe zvhich is upon the plaine 

Englands Kings have had two feats in this County, 
wherein they were wont to make fome aboade, in the 
Summer time : the one for their Court which is Green- 
witch, the other for their pleafure, which isEltham, ve- 
ry convenient for pa/limes, and game for hunting. 

There is alfo a place in this Shire called Tunbridge, 

whither there is great concourfe of infirme people, who 

finde prefent remedy for their maladies, by vertue of 

fomeW&Ws lately found otit, which prove verie Sove- 





To all my Friends that have fubfcribed their 
Names and dwellings to my Bill. 

According as you pay, or pay me not ; . 
So is my lucky or unlucky Lot : 
I have made ufe of many friends before 
Age tels me now I mail do fo no more. 
Some friends I have, and fome fmall fhare of wit, 
And want hath forc'd me to vfe them, and it. 
I, in my beft of wifhes will include 
Their kindneffe, and my humble gratitude. 



The Treasurer in Account with the Spenser Society. 

Third Year, 1869-70. 

Balance in hand 

169 Subscriptions 

Interest allowed by Bank 

Balance due to Treasurer 

£ s 


7 10 


354 18 


3 ° 


3«5 8 


* 12 



C. Simms & Co., for Issue 6 — Printing, 

Engraving and Binding 94 z 4 

Do. Stationery, Printing and Sundries 4 17 

Do. Stamps, Carriage, &c 2 8 

Do. Issue 7 — Printing, Engraving and 

Binding 259 14 

Do. Stationery, Printing and Sundries o 13 

Do. Stamps and Carriage 2 8 

Paid Mr. Sims of the British Museum for 

transcript 1 5 

Books purchased 2 19 

Auditors' Fee 1 1 


Fourth Year, 1870-71. 

172 Subscriptions 

Interest allowed by Bank 



£&7 6 1 

Balance paid Treasurer 4 12 

C. Simms & Co., for Issue 8 — Printing, 

Engraving and Binding 41 15 

Do. Stationery, Printing and Sundries .... 6 1 
Do. Issues 9 and 10 — Printing, Engraving 

and Sundries 294 17 

Do. Stationery, Printing and Sundries .... 5 4 

Do. Stamps and Carriage 413 

Books purchased 3 11 

Auditors' Fee 1 1 

Balance in hand 

361 14 11 
5 11 2 

^367 6 1 

The Treasurer in Account with the Spenser Society. 

Fifth Year, 1871-72. 

Balance in hand 

178 Subscriptions 

Interest allowed by Bank . 

£, s. d. 

5 ix 2 

373 *6 o 


£382 8 8 


C. Simms & Co., for Issue n — Printing, 

Engraving and Binding 148 

Do. Stationery, Printing and Sundries .... 3 
Do. Issue 12 — Printing, Engraving and 

Binding 179 

Do. Stationery, Printing and Sundries .... * 

Do. Stamps and Carriage 1 

Auditors' Fee 1 

ri o 

3 6 

7 o 

18 o 

18 4 

1 o 

Balance in hand , 



9 10 

£&' 8 8 

Sixth Year, 1872-73. 

£ s. d. 

Balance in hand 45 9 10 

209 Subscriptions 438 18 o 

Interest allowed by Bank 7 14 6 

£49 z 

£ s d. 
C. Simms & Co., for Issue 13 — Printing, 

Engraving and Binding 193 5 6 

Do. Stationery, Printing, &c 4 4 4 

Books purchased from Members to make up 

sets 21 o o 

Auditors' Fee 

Balance in hand 

1 1 o 

219 zo 10 
■ 272 11 6 

^49 2 

Balance brought down . 

£ * d. 
272 11 6 

The Accounts for the four last years examined and found correct, 

10th October, 1873. Public Accountants. 

^>pen0er ^ocietp. 

LIST OF MEMBERS, 1872-73. 

A DAMS, Dr. Ernest, Anson road, Victoria 

■*"*- park, Manchester 

Adamson, Edward, Rye, Sussex 

Addis, John, jun., Rustington, Littlehampton, 

Ainsworth, R. F., M.D., Higher Broughton, Man- 

Aitchison, William John, 1 1, Buckingham terrace, 

Akroyd, Colonel Edward, M.P., Halifax 

Alexander, John, 43, Campbell street, Glasgow 

Alexander, Walter, 29, St. Vincent place, Glasgow 

BAIN, James, 1, Haymarket, London, 

-" S.W. 

Baker, Charles, F.S.A., 11, Sackville street, 

London, W. 
Baltimore, Peabody Institute at (per Mr. E. G. 

Allen, 12, Tavistock row, Covent Garden, 

London, W.C.) 
•Birmingham Central Free Library 
Birmingham Library (per Mr. A. Dudley, librarian) 
Blackman, Frederick, 4, York road, London, 

Bladon, James, Albion house, Pontypool 
Boston, U.S., Athenaeum (per Mr. E. G. Allen) 
Boston, U.S., Public Library (per Sampson Low, 

Son and Co.) 
Bremner, John A., Albert street, Manchester, 

Hon. Sec. 
Brooks, W. Cunliffe, M.P., F.S.A., Barlow hall, 

near Manchester 
Brothers, Alfred, 14, St. Ann's square, Man- 
Buckley, Rev. William Edward, M.A., Rectory, 

Middleton Cheney, Banbury 

(""* ALLENDER, William Romaine, jun., F.S.A., 

Water street, Manchester 
-Campkin, Henry, F.S.A., librarian, Reform club, 

London, S.W. 
.Chamberlain, Arthur, New Bartholomew street, 

Chamberlain, John Henry, Christ church build- 
ings, Birmingham 

Christie, R. C, M.A., 2, St. James's square, 

Clark, David R., M.A., Dumbreck, Paisley road, 

Cochrane, Alexander, 2 1 6, Bath street, Glasgow 

Coleridge, Sir J. D. C, M.P., 1, Sussex square, 
London, W. 

Collier, John Payne, F.S.A., Maidenhead 

Cook, Jas. W., 72, Coleman street, City, E.C. 

Corser, Rev. Thomas, M.A., F.S.A., Rectory, 
Stand, near Manchester 

Cosens, F. W., 27, Queen's gate, London, W, 

Crossley, James, F.S.A., 2, Cavendish place, Ca- 
vendish street, Chorlton-on-Medlock, ,Man- 
chester, President 

Croston, James, 6a, St. Ann's square, Manchester 

"T)ARBYSHIRE, Thomas, Manchester 

1 - J Derby, Rt. Hon. the earl of, Knowsley, 

Devonshire, His Grace the duke of, Devonshire 

house, Piccadilly, London, W. 
Dodds, Rev. James, The Abbey, Paisley, N.B. 

"pLT, Charles Henry, 1, Noel street, Islington, 
J -' London, N. 

Euing, William, 209, West George street, 

"PAIRBAIRN, Rev. James, Newhaven, Edin- 
■*■ burgh 

Falconer, Thomas, Usk, Monmouthshire 
Forster, John, Palace-gate house, Kensington, 
London, W. 

GEE, William, High street, Boston, Lincolnshire 
Gibbs, Henry H., St. Dunstan's, Regent's 
park, London, N.W. 
Gibbs, William, Tyntesfield, near Bristol 
Glasgow University Library (per Mr. James Macl?- 
hose, Glasgow) 


Gratrix, Samuel, 25, Alport town, Deansgate, 

Gray, George, County buildings, Glasgow 
Guild, James W., 65, St. Vincent street, Glasgow 

LTAILSTONE, Edward, F.S.A., Walton hall, 

-*• -*■ Wakefield, Yorkshire 

Halliwell, James Orchard, F.R.S., &c. &c, 6, 

Tregunter road, London, S.W. 
Hargreaves, George James, Davyhulme, Manches- 
Harrison, William, F.S.A., Samlesbury hall, near 

Hartford, Connecticut, U.S., Watkinson Library 

at (per Mr. E. G. Allen) 
Hatton, James, Richmond house, Higher Brough- 

ton, Manchester 
Hayward, Thomas, bookseller, Oxford street, 

Hewitt, William, Hill side, Fallowfield 
Hill, George W., 97, Ingram street, Glasgow 
Howard, Hon. Richard Edward, Stamp office, 

Manchester, Treasurer 
Hunt, Edward, chemist, Salford 

TRELAND, Alexander, Manchester 

JACKSON, H. B., Basford house, Whalley 
' Range, Manchester 
Jackson, John, Chancery place, Manchester 
Jackson, R.D., 4, Stanhope street, Hyde Park 

gardens, London 
Jenner, C, Easter Duddington lodge, Edinburgh 
Johnson, Richard, Langton oaks, Fallowfield, 

Jones, Herbert, I, Church court, Clement's lane, 

London, E.C. 
Jones, Joseph, Abberley hall, Stourport 
Jones, Thomas, B.A., F.S.A., Chetham library, 

Jordan, Peter A., Philadelphia, U.S. (per Triib- 

nerandCo., Paternoster row, London, E.C.) 

TZ'ERSHAW, James, 13, St. Luke's terrace, 
^- Cheetham, Manchester » 

Kershaw, John, Audenshaw, near Manchester 
Kershaw, John, Park house, Willesden lane, 

London, N.W. 
King, James, 6, Adelaide place, Glasgow 
Knight, Joseph, 27, Camden square, London, 


T A Barte, J. M., librarian, King's Inns library, 
-^ Henrietta street, Dublin 
Lees, Samuel, junr., Parkbridge, Ashton-under- 

Leigh, Major Egerton, Jodrell hall, near Congle- 
ton, Cheshire 

Leigh, John, Whalley Range, Manchester 

Lembcke, Professor, Marburg (per Williams and 
Norgate, 14, Henrietta street, Covent Garden, 
London, -W.C.) 

Lingard, J. R., 12, Booth street, Piccadilly, Man- 

Lingard, R. B. M., 12, Booth street, Piccadilly, 

Lockwood and Co. , 7, Stationers' hall court, Lon- 
don, E.C. 

TVTcCOWAN, David, 7, Lynedoch crescent, 

■"■'• Glasgow 

Mackenzie, John Whitefoord, 16, Royal circus, 

Maclure, John William, Bond street, Manchester 

Manchester Free Library, Campfield 

Marsden, Rev. Canon, B.D., F.R.S.L., Cliff 
grange, Higher Broughton, Manchester 

Milne- Redhead, R., Springfield, Seedley, Pendle- 
ton, Manchester 

Mounsey, G. G., Castletown, near Carlisle 

Muntz, George H. M., Grosvenor road, Hands- 
worth, Birmingham 

"[NJAPIER, George W., 19, Chapel walks, Man- 

- 1 -' Chester 

Neill, Robert, Northumberland street, Higher 

Broughton, Manchester 
Newcastle-upon-Tyne Literary and Philosophical 

Society (per Mr. Lyall, librarian) 
New York, Clinton Hall Library at (per Sampson 

Low, Son and Marston, 188, Fleet street, 

London, E.C.) 
New York Mercantile Library (per Mr. E. G. 

Nicholl, George W., The Ham, Cowbridge, 

Nichols, George W., Augusta house, Rotherhithe, 

London, S.E. 

/~\AKEY, John, jun., 172, Blackfriars road, 

w London, S.E. 

Owens College Library, Quay street, Man- 

Oxford Union Society (per Mr. Thomas Harris, 

DAINE, Cornelius, Oak hill, Surbiton, Surrey 
- 1 Palin, Captain, Police office, Manchester 
Panton, Rev. G. A. , 12, Osborne terrace, Edinburgh 
Paterson, William, 74, Prince's street, Edinburgh 
Pattinson, Thomas, Moss grange, Whalley Range, 

' Manchester 
Peace, Maskell W., Green hill, Wigan 


Peel, George, Soho foundry, Manchester 
Portico Library, Mosley street, Manchester 
Priaulx, O. de Beauvoir, 8, Cavendish square, 
London, W. 

QUARITCH, Bernard, 15, Piccadilly, Lon- 
don, W. 

"D EDFERN, Rev. R. S., M.A., Acton vicarage, 

lv Nantwich 

Reform Club, London (per Messrs. Ridgway, 

Reynolds, Rev. G. W., St. Mark's rectory, Chee- 

tham Hill 
Riggall, Edward, 141, Queen's road, Bayswater, W. 
Robinson, Samuel, Black Brook cottage, Wilmslow 
Robinson, W. W., 46, St. Giles' street, Oxford 
Russell, Thomas, 14, India street, Glasgow 

CAUNDERS, J. Symes, M.D., Devon County 
>J Lunatic asylum, Exminster, Exeter 
Schofield, Thomas, 1, Apsley terrace, Chester 

road, Manchester 
Sewell, John C, 3, Bridgewater place, High street, 

Simms, Charles E., King street, Manchester 
Simpson, Joseph, Millington Hope, Higher 

Crumpsall, Manchester 
Slingluff, C. B., Baltimore (per Mr. B. F. Stevens, 

Smith, Alexander, 69, St. George's place, Glasgow 
Smith, Fereday, Bridgewater offices, Manchester 
Smith, Charles, Faversham, Kent 
Snelgrove, Arthur G., London hospital, London, E. 
Sotheran, Henry, 136, Strand, London, W.C. 
Steinthal, H. M., Hollywood, Fallowfield 
Stevens, B. F., 1 7, Henrietta street, Covent Garden, 

London, W.C. 
Stewart, A. B., 5, Buchanan street, Glasgow 
Sullivan, Right Hon. Edward, 32, Fitzwilliam 

place, Dublin 
Suthers, Charles, Riversvale, Ashton-under-Lyne 
Swindells, George H., Oak villa, Heaton chapel, 

near Stockport 

HTAYLOR, Edward, Sunny bank, Rochdale 
x Taylor, Thomas F., Highfield house, Pem- 
berton, Wigan 

Thompson, Joseph, Pin mill, Ardwick, Manchester 

Thorpe, Rev. J. F., Heme hill vicarage, Faver- 
sham, Kent 

Thorp, Henry, Whalley Range, Manchester 

Timmins, Samuel, F.R.S.L., Elvetham lodge, Bir- 

Tonks, Edmund, B.C.L. Oxon., Packwood grange, 
Knowle, Warwickshire 

Turner, Robert S., I, Park square, Regent's Park, 
London, N.W. 

"yEITCH, George Seton, 2, Oswald road, Edin- 

Vernon, George V., Osborne terrace, Stretford 

road, Manchester 
Vienna, Imperial Library at (per Asher and Co., 

13, Bedford street, Covent Garden, London, 


WASHINGTON, U.S., Library of Congress at 

v v (per Mr. E. G. Allen) 

Watson, Robert S., tor, Pilgrim street, Newcastle- 

Weston, George, 2, Gray's inn square, London, 

Whitaker, W.Wilkinson, Cornbrook house, Man- 

Wilbraham, Henry, Chancery office, Manchester 

Williams and Norgate, 14, Henrietta street, Cov- 
ent Garden, London, W. C. 

Wood, Richard Henry, F. S.A., Crumpsall, Man- 

Wylie, Charles, 3, Earl's terrace, Kensington, 
London, W. 

"VTOUNG, Alexander, 9, Lynedock place, 
* Glasgow 
Young, George, 9, Lynedock place, Glasgow 

Charles Simms and Co., Printers, Manchester. 

%\>t £>pen#er f>octetp* 


JAMES CROSSLEY, E?q.,, F.S.A., President. 




G. W. NAPIER, Esq. 

- Hon. R. E. HOWARD, '.ffieasurer. 

JOHN A. BREMNER, Esq., F.S.S., Hon. Secretary. 


Issue For the Year 1867-8. 

1. The Proverbs and Epigrams of John Heywood. Reprinted from the Original 

. Edition of 1562. 

2. The Works of John Taylor the Water Poet. Reprinted from the Folio Edition 

of 1630. ; Part I. 

For the Year 1868-9. 

3. The Works of John Taylor the Water Poet. Reprinted from the Forio of 

1630. Part II. 

4. The Works of John Taylor the Water Poet. Reprinted from the Folio of 

1630. Part III. (Completing the volume.) 

5. Zepheria. Reprinted from the Original Edition of 1594. 

For the Year 1869-70. 

6. The 'EKATOMiiAeiA or Passionate . Centurie of Love, by Thomas Watson. 

Reprinted from the Original Edition Of (circa) 1581. 
y._ Works of Jdhn Taylor the Water Poet, not included in the Folio Volume of 
1630. Reprinted from the Original Editions. First Collection. 

For the Year 18 70-1. 

8. A Handefull of Pleasant Delites, by Ciement Robinson, and divers others. 

Reprinted from the Original Edition of 1584. 

9. Juvenilia: Poems by George Wither, contained in the collections of his 

Juvenilia which appeared in 1626 and 1633. Part I. 

10. Juvenilia: Poems rby George Wither. Part. II. 

For the Year 187 1-2. 

n. Juvenilia: Poems by George Wither, contained in the collections of his 
Juvenilia which -appeared in 1626 and 1633. Part III. 

1 2. Miscellaneous Works of George Wither. Reprinted from the Original Editions. 

First Collection. 

For the Year 1872-3. 

13. Miscellaneous Works of George Wither. Reprinted from the Original Editions. 

Second Collection. 

14. Works Of John Taylor the Water Poet, not included in the Folio Volume of 

1630^ Reprinted from the Original Editions. Second Collection. 

P Mi> 

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